The useless scale (3)
A nightmare of biblical proportions, I could not find a description for the current event I was put through. As much as I wanted to joke about it, I could not find it in me to actually do so. It was way too depressing to have all of this nonsense forced upon me.
When will they understand, that I do not understand a single word? It also did not help, that the voice was growing more condescending by the minute and spoke the same stuff over and over again. Do they think I am doing this on purpose?
It would be hard to ignore a voice that keeps on echoing in my head. Especially since this voice magically managed to touch the core of my being in a very bad manner. I felt a wave of unfathomable anger arising in me.
I could not tell exactly what it did but all the criteria inside of me were met in order to create such a pure response. Although it was hard for me to understand what a genuine reaction truly is, I could tell that this went beyond simple boredom.
Coupled with the aggressive tendencies and the desire to punch its owner in the face, which might be one and the same, I thought that it could be called anger.
But with no one present and no face to punch, my anger kept on building up in me. Although the voice inside of my mind did not care about my predicament, it just continued its usual routine, not giving a shit about poor old me.
Oh, how I wish for it to have a body. I want to share some of the love it had presented me with. I am certain no words could convey that kind of feeling more than my fists could. After all, those are multilingual.
Yet, the monologue inside of my head had started again after a grandiose light show which I had seen numerous times by now and was clearly not fed up with. The narration began anew, cleary speaking about this beautiful white scale, praising it as if it was Gods grace, that enabled me to look at this useless white object.
The amount of appreciation I had for this seemingly perpetual celebration could be summed up with my 2 middle fingers. Flipping off my surroundings did make me happy, yet they could not reach the scale, that was still openings its ugly mouth in front of me.
I feel the need to stress just how ugly it is. It was barely enough to validate the torment I have to endure, but it feels good to tell it, how hideous it truly is. No words of disgust seemed insulting and degrading enough to voice my utter despise.
There was no act vulgar and humiliating enough to display the scorn I had for this utter piece of garbage. I wish there was, but after spending quite some time, I did not find any method to voice my indignation.
There was no grave to dance on and no corpse to publically display. No way to humiliate them in front of people who hold them dear, nor was there any way to crush their beliefs or confidence. Nothing could be done. How could something only existing only in my mind be subjected to any sort of humiliation?
it truly was vexing to not be able to do anything and just face the abuse. Is anyone willing to take its place so I can vent my frustrations, I would be eternally grateful. Well, I am out of luck, no one will help me out of this.
Of course now when I say, nothing happens. Every other time something happens but not this time. Well since I asked nicely and received no reply, I might as well do it the old fashioned way.
One deep breath later and with the scale blabbering about something in the background, I lifted my hand high, made a fist and launched it at the ground. What better way to draw attention to yourself then causing a ruckus.
One more second in this never-ending hell and I might as well take my own life, so causing a scene to change something was by far the best option. Though much to my dismay I did not hear anything after my fist made contact with the ground. It was as if I had never done anything at all.
Was this another case of bones I could not crack? Let me see, just how much truth was contained in all of that fabricated memories. Despite not being able to use magic, I tried to locate the strange substance, that I used back there.
Although I truly did not feel anything, I just followed my previous patterns and shifted the strange substance to my fist before the point of impact. Instead of broken bones or a loud impact, I heard a faint sound of sizzling as if my fist was stopped by something.
There was no difference aside from the small noise that I had managed to produce. I touched the ground to make sure I was actually standing on something. The confirmation stung quite a bit, I had been standing on something, as the sensation of touch clearly indicated.
So that was my so-called strength, that was able to easily spit the ground? My naivety was more destructive than my fist. All in all, I could only describe myself as awfully weak if I can not even leave a dent on the ground.
The lack of sound could be related to the magic that weakened my punch to such a miserable degree. Whatever the true cause was, it was not something I could change as of now, which made me even angrier as the option I had chosen to escape this torture was a complete failure.
A cold and harsh reality that did not care for my feelings appeared in front of me. With it came a light show and a scale which seemed to an instrument of torture.
...
I am sorry, I have no excuses. Everything was just too much and then it happened. I know, I am better than this, but I just could not help it. My failures, this hateful voice, and these cheap flickering lights, they had worn me out and I was just helpless.
I kept on begging for salvation, for something to appear to make all of this stop. But it never stopped and no one came, all the noises just continued. Then I lost my bearing.
I should not have started a shouting match with the voice inside of my head. I should not have continued throwing every insult in the book directly at it. I should not have told the scale, what I truly thought about it.
I have to admit fault for my childish behaviour and lack of manners. I know that the voice is truly just trying to help me and I was very rude and disruptive from me to act in a manner as I did.
I hope that you will find it in yourself to forgive, my lowly self for the transgression I made. I should have recognized your grace and goodwill long beforehand. It was I, who was blind. I am truly sorry.
Did you really think I would fall on my knees and ask for forgiveness? Yes, I am talking to you, you ugly scale. Do you think with all those cheap lights you can demand anything from me? You are useless to me. Why would you think, you are in a position to demand something from me?
Even if you can not understand my words, If I have guessed correctly you can still feel their intent, so are my current words pleasing enough to you? Or do you need other words, that showcase just how much I love your care?
I loathe your entire being, every single atom of you is tainted and soiled. They should never have come together to form something as sickening as you. Not only is your existence and affront to everything in existence, but it is also a cardinal sin, something which needs to be eradicated at all cost.
Having to look at you is the single most displeasing event, that occurred to me in all of my life. I bet many people would end their lives, just by having laid their eyes on you. They can not bear to know, that you exist.
You are nothing more than baggage and are dragging everyone down, that has the misfortune to work with you. You will never amount to anything more in your pitiful existence, you are condemned to cause everyone you will ever care for endless misery.
No one will ever truly love you, as you are nothing more a disappointment and letdown to the principles you are supposed to stand for. The glory of balance and fairness and judgement, concepts that are omnipresent and yet you amount to nothing.
If that is not a testament to your absolute useless I do not know. I am a lowly human, something which is at the very bottom of the feeding chain here, but even someone as weak and frail as me can only look down at you in utter disdain.
At least, I can say that I stand for something. While you, on the other hand, will never represent anything other than meaningless and purposelessness. Your creator must be so proud, knowing that he or she, created something so abhorrently bad.
I do not discriminate against someone based on gender, although your created certainly deserves it. As for the voice who keeps yelling at me, wait your turn I am not finished with this atrocity.
Do you think I wanted to let it escalate to this level? It was you who escalated it to this extent, I will not sit back and just take it when you try to provoke me over and over again. I do not speak your language, but even I can understand when you talk shit about me.
You think I can not understand the correlation of, you, you shitty scale moving one side up and down as if you are judging about me condescendingly? Normally it would be beneath to fall for such cheap provocations but having the galls, to that after I have shown this much restraint is something I can not tolerate.
You thought you were so smart and that no repercussions would come out of it. But think again, everything comes with a price. The threshold for tolerance has diminished quite a bit, after all the stuff I had been put through. Since apparently everyone can not act like a civilized being.
Come laugh again at this foolish human in front of you, laugh because your own lack of ability makes you think, that something like me will have to stay weak. I will tell you only once, humans do not give a flying fuck about your so-called experience.
Humans have trampled over many creatures who were faster, stronger, or more adapted to their environment. Because there is one thing you guys, always seem to misunderstand about us humans, it is not our strength which poses a danger to you, simply said humans are bastards.
We are a bunch of sickly minded individuals, which values clash in their entirety with yours. So, I would advise to let go of your superstitions about the weak humans, because otherwise, you might be in for a rude awakening.
Do not take this as the words of a salty loser, who just wants to feel important. Words from the weak have in the eyes, of those above them no credibility. But sometimes it is not the mouth that carries its values but their content. If you do not understand my intention after all of this, then you have only yourself to blame.
My weak attempt at directing insults at you aside, was it entertaining enough? It was more than obvious that someone was pulling the strings behind all of this very entertaining play. I hope my wide range of acting was to your liking.
I did not want to let all of this effort go to waste. It would take more than a talking scale to make me lose my mind. Although we might not share the same language, we still can communicate through gestures and this was my sign of goodwill.
You, on the other hand, have not shown any signs of trying to do the same with me. Which makes me wonder, why do you go through all of this, for nothing in return? Whatever your intentions for me are, I doubt something of this nature would take place,
Utter silence was the answer, the voice had gone silent and the scale had lost its lights.
If you do not want to show yourself at this point in time, then that means, that you do not want to meet me as of now. Your intention behind that seems to be related to informing me about your existence while not giving me any more information about you.
If that was your primary objective it could have sufficed to just laugh in my mind, as you did in the beginning. Was this little play done in order to convince me, that this is not a fabrication of my mind?
Or was this meant as an explanation of your powers? Regardless of what your plans are, you should be aware, that all kind of plans for me can fall short, due to a lack of knowledge about humans. Though I have to admit, your approach to all of this is way better than the stuff that took place in my head.
The strategy to throw a tantrum to draw you out of your defence was also one I made in it, I am sure it must have been to your liking since all came to an end after it. But after all of this, I still wonder what the purpose behind this scale is.
If by any chance all of this never happened and it was the result of my paranoia driving me to the brink of insanity, then I am really looking forward to what will happen in the future. Nothing would be worse, then something that is predictable.
A life without challenges and mysterious events seems so boring.
As long as it is crazy I am in.
A crazy life and a useless scale. What more could I ask for in this world full of magic?