The useless protagonist (2)

In all of this, I could never expect any leniency from the scale itself, especially after it had proven its tenacity. Accepting the terms of a lower human would be beneath their notice. With such a high emphasis on pride, its no wonder, that these beings act the way they do.

But I am not a yes-man which does whatever it is asked of him, due to a higher power telling me to. I have my own thoughts and motivation. So if these people have plans for me, then they will have to come to terms with my character, whether they like it or not.

One way or another I will activate this scale. Whether it does so on its own volition or if the circumstances force it to, does not matter to me. Only the result is of importance, not the way it is reached.

In a world which only knows the rights of the strong, having concerns and morals holding you back is far from optimal. Because they would certainly not take any pity on me and take my life without any qualms whatsoever.

This does not mean that I approve of such a black and white world view, but I will not avoid any bloodshed if it is necessary. If I want to keep my life, I will have to do things, I might not enjoy. Certain things just need to be done.

It is more than obvious that nothing on Earth or this world is a gift, all of it has to be maintained. Peace and stability can only be ensured when the ones that try to undermine it are kept in check. While the idea of solving these matters through discussion is a noble idea, some do not seek that kind of discourse.

Whenever the intellectual discourse yields no result, force is another method to achieve whatever is desired. Though this concept has one big downside, what has been taken by force can only be kept by force.

It is a frail balance, which can be toppled by the faintest breeze. But this is nothing new to humankind, the problem lies in our DNA. From minor attacks against individuals to entire nations, conflict is inevitable.

I am not going to act as if the world is perfect when it is clearly not. Preparations have to be made for the fights I will have to take. This is more than necessary since there is no greater danger than absolute confidence.

Confidence is a slow and insidious killer, there will always be things outside of their control. Matters that develop differently and react unlike it was expected. I am not insane enough to believe, that everything will develop in my favour.

Otherwise, I might as well just give up on my life. It is unwise to gamble when my life is the gambling chip. Pretending to be invincible when you are clearly not is a recipe for disaster. Even if it works out for you once or twice, there will come a day, when your lack of foresight will cost you dearly.

Having no back-up plans or safety nets and still heading blindly into battle is plain and simple suicide. I have no plans on throwing my life away and God may guide me is not a good strategy to ensure your life as well.

Just like the scale representing balance would agree on. Cowardice and daringness should not be mutually exclusive. A "balanced" approach to all of this was the best option in my eyes. It was essential to know when to retreat and when to advance.

Everything needed to be done in moderation, with enough respect to the surrounding circumstances. It is negligence to only focus on a single aspect in battles. One needs to be quick to adapt to any sudden change they are confronted with.

Even if I talk about balance the scale does not show any reaction whatsoever. Trying to use my tactical prowess and linking it to my interpretation of balance was not enough. While a topic like this had brought the scale to me in the first place, it was seemingly not paying any interest to my current understanding of balance.

Oh well, in the end, it was just another attempt at getting the scale to work. I still have a lot of things I will have to try, therefore I should not dwell on this matter any further.

Have you heard about a balanced diet? [....]

What about a balance beam? [....]

Let me tell you about the work-life balance... [....]

What about the balance of an account? [....]

Balance team for a game? [....]

Balance act? [....]

Inner Balance? [....]

A balance board for a game? [....]

Balance pads? [....]

The music band? [....]

The album? [....]

What about a balance point? [....]

What about the flux balance? [....]

At least show a reaction or two, after I went to such lengths to mention every balance I can think off. You could do at least this much, it is not like I am asking for something impossible here. I would settle for something, that tells me, that you are listening to me. A grunting or a sigh is totally acceptable.

But you seem to not value the time and effort I am investing in this matter. Maybe I am in the wrong here for expecting us to work together. Someone of your calibre should be aware of basic manners and courtesy, alas seems like my evaluation was entirely wrong.

Cheap provocations still do not work, but at least the scale has found its inner balance. My humour was just as bad as it was one planet Earth. I had a weird knack for wordplay. They always came to me in the spur of a moment and I enjoyed make connections between words when they were not related.

They have become quite a rarity in this world, I should not let old traditions go to waste. Though I should find the right time and the right place to actually do this. I gotta find the right balance... Yeah, I agree that one was a bit forced.

Setting my disappointing attempt at jokes aside, I wonder what criteria I have to meet, in order to be acknowledged by the scale itself. I should analyze this with their potential goals in mind. It might be the case, that I can not activate this scale before I actually require it.

There still has to be a workaround to bypass a restriction like that. I could try to artificially create a situation in which its help is required. But creating such a situation was easier said than done. It is something to keep in mind when an opportunity pops up, I am sure something can be worked out. For the time being, I will just try out different stuff and keep myself busy.

Wait a minute, speaking of being busy, was the voice in my surroundings not conducting tests, what is it up to now? Is it waiting in the distance and gauging my actions with the scale itself?

Unlikely. Since the voice inside of my head would not have been needed then. If that is not the case, what is it waiting for? Or is it even still there?

Hello friendly person, who is overseeing my testing, are you still present. Could you please confirm, that you are indeed still following your duty? My exclamation remained unanswered and followed the trend of now mute participants.

Receiving any definitive answer in all of this became more and more impossible. It is better that way, who would want to read a story, in which the protagonist does not have to suffer, for even the tiniest bit of a hint? No pain, no gain. I swear I will find the one behind all of this and showcase just how glad I am about this kind of treatment.

I want an exciting life, not guess what might happen kind of life. This is not some sort of mystery that slowly gets unveiled, this is the world giving me a middle finger. At times I truly think, that someone out there is trying to mess with me. Yes, I mean you Observer or the person behind my fabricated memories.

I actually want to progress and do the things I am supposed to do, not to solve these kinds of mysteries without any help. Yet this concern shall remain unanswered as I struggle to find answers to questions only I seem to have.

Whoever is in charge of my development has no sense of balance whatsoever. It feels like they go out of their way to make it a truly unique experience just for me. I must have been a mass murderer in one of my past lives to deserve this treatment.

Despite all of this I was glad, that nothing was happening, it gave me more time to think about the scale. It would be a shame if something came and ruined my precious peace of mind. And as if the universe had heard my wish, exactly nothing happened.

I swear it only happens when I truly not want something, but if I ask for something to happen, it is ignored. What do you want me to do here? Talk to the scale, as if it was my fated partner? Give me a break or a sign or whatever, just make it obvious what I am supposed to do.

My frustrations remained fruitless as silence was the only answer I received. It would have been strange if something were to occur after so many attempts at communication. There is no use for using pity or other emotions to drive them into action.

My approach had been wrong all the time, I am not dealing with humans, I am likely faced with old entities, whose eyes are set up higher than the sky. To them, everything is just ants or rather insects which are so numerous, that they do not care about a single one.

So how do they begin to take notice a single ant? It is rather quite simple, a single ant becomes only noticeable if it acts directly influence them. So, if the scale represents balance, then I might need to create a bit of chaos to deviate from its desired state.

If they want me to be a renegade, then I will gladly act the part. Sometimes people only start to act when it is too late. Be it, man or god, both are not prone to have errors in their respective judgement. I am tired of spewing empty threats that fall on deaf ears.

I will just start to act based on this idea and adapt it according to what kind of results it brings forth. If they want something from me, they can come forward themselves. I do not see the appeal of dancing to their tune when they care so little about me.

Who gives a shit about getting a power, which I can not use? Why should I care about talking to a higher being when I can not even understand them? When nothing seems to change, why am I the one who has to prove himself?

I am not willing to put up with them behaving as they do. I do not bother with who or what they are, their origin is of no concern to me, I simply want them to treat me in a fair manner. If they want to be arrogant then so be it, but they should not expect me to pay any of them more respect, then absolutely necessary.

And no I am not thinking highly of myself, rather the opposite. It just does not feel right to me, to let others dance on my goodwill. If this is supposed to be a cooperation, then we need to set the terms for our conduct early on. Otherwise, there might be some tensions later on and I guess this is something that neither side would want.

This is something I should have done back on, it could have saved me from a lot of trouble if I had set my borders early on. Sadly, my status as a doormat had already been set in stone. Well, at least it appeared that I had drawn my lessons.

Which was, unfortunately, the only positive aspect I could derive from that. According to my limited knowledge of arithmetics, 1 was greater than 0, therefore I had to consider it to be a success. Though this achievement seemed to diminish the more time I pondered on it. My rationale told me that arrow was the only feeling I was supposed to feel in this scenario.

Although of this sadness not much could be felt. I seemed to repress that kind of feeling, to keep staying objective and clear-headed. My coping mechanism still is not healthy, as the day will come when they will flood me again.

Until then I best be ready to identify them. Such a precious chance should not be wasted. At times I truly wonder, why exactly I am the way I am. Because I was far from something that could be called ordinary. But this was not the right time to ponder on something like this. I do not want to end up sobbing uncontrollably again.

Such behaviour would be unsightly and not something balanced. My hypocrisy would reek to the heavens if I make such bold promises to myself and then end up betraying them in such a foul way. After all that is done, the scale has not yet reacted to any of my attempts, so I best follow through with my plans, else I mind never find any success with them.

Some consistency might help in my endeavour to uncover the secrets of that cheap white scale. Knowing my luck, it will later turn out that this scale has more of a symbol value. But just like the guy who designed the waterfall, I might need to exchange some pleasantries with the one responsible for it.

Who knows? My suspicion might prove to be wrong, or at least I would hope that much, not only for me but also for the sake of the ones who caused it. Some violent fantasies appeared before my inner eye, but I suppressed them, for I am of course a very nice person. I could not hurt a fly, because my plans would not stop at the hurt part.

I have learned that this world would interpret my mercy as a weakness and I should make it obvious just how I view something like this. If they only speak the language of violence, then I am going to write them a very nice letter.

Simply said, that would get what's coming to them. As for the scale that still refuses to give off any sort of life, it shall have its way, as I am not going to bother with it anymore. It might be the only thing I can see, but I would rather be fully blind now.

I might still have to try some methods I did not want to try, but alas it leaves me no choice.

Ask not and you shall receive.