The Fuck Indeed

The symbols were slightly different but they were very similar to italic English. Well, at least some symbols were. The rest were completely new to me, so I had to memorize. 

I had good memory. I could do well in school if I wanted to, but I never bothered. So by the time I barely graduated high school, my memory was kind of gone because I sure never bothered using it. And that was fine. Because I didn't need precise memory to do anything. I didn't have to remember my login info since everything was logged into one account and although that wasn't very secure, it was definitely convenient. 

But now that I think back, I really was dumb, huh? I went through life, never even questioning things, I went through never even being grateful for the things I had. And I went through life… just like that. And just like that, I died….

  I kept on pondering but also kept on trying to figure out how to memorize the damn symbols so I could figure more about the world. 

There was a limit to how much I could ask Siarre. And there was a limit to how much she could tell me. Besides, she left a while ago.

Sigh.

Without really thinking too much on it, I tried recreating the symbols on a second board. And afterwards, picked up a children's book. At this point, I wasn't any better than a literal child.

But if I was going to do it, I was going to go down hard. 

Took a moment, but I forced myself to read the story at a snail's pace: since I could understand the language, brute-forcing worked. Plus, the thing being a picture book was also really helpful.

A children's story.

A story about a demon.

A demon who got himself killed all because he was bored. But instead of being reborn as a demon he was reborn as an angel? He was the strongest of the demons, and he was also responsible for killing various gods, and yet, he was destined to become one himself and although that was great and all, that demon was instead interested in finding new experiences and thrill.

Not a bad story.

But also kind of dumb. If he wanted new things, couldn't he have just stayed a demon and conquered the planet like he was trying to and then do whatever the hell he wanted? But wait, if he had everything, would he really feel like he would want to do something?

If he had the world, would anything be new and exciting again?

I knew this was a children's story but honestly, it was quite eye opening. Taking over the world. A fun concept but what then? What comes after world domination?

  Why the fuck am I even thinking about world domination?

Wasn't I reading a book?

Wait, reading? Yes, reading. As I kept on forcing myself to stare at each damn symbol and read the children's book, I was indeed reading. And it became more and more natural. Not just with the kiddy book but with actual books too!

I can read!

I COULD READ!!!

*** 

If there was a subject I hated at school, it was history. Not geography, not politics, not even biology or math. But history.

I didn't just hate history I despised the subject. I despised it with all my being. Why should I bother reading about dead guys doing dead things when I had my own shit to deal with?

But today, today, the book I picked up after the picture book was a history one. A chorological record of the world and everything in it. Yeah, I hated history. But for once, I was actually interested. 

Earth, they called this place earth. And everything began some good ten-twelve thousand years ago with the advent of the undead. These undead revived the world after the great apocalypse. What apocalypse? Great apocalypse! Yeah, there wasn't much else written about it or its nature; just great. And through the grace of these ten Prime Undead, ten lesser races were born.

Humans.

Elves.

Merfolk.

Dwarves.

Half-deads.

Fairies.

And several types of demihumans: beastmen, orcs, goblins, ogres, trolls etc.

So basically, what they couldn't categorize, they just dumped it on the demihuman banner? 

Heh!

And although there were various wars for various reasons, the world was relatively peaceful. The Primarchs ruled ten cities of their own and left the rest of the world to the lesser races but did offer advice on what to do in times of great disaster. And for the most part, it was the lesser races who brought up wars and disasters.

But after ruling the world for ten whole thousand years, the Primarchs of Arin just disappeared along with most of their kind. Although there was still undead left in the world, almost all of them went into hiding for some reason, almost as though waiting for something or perhaps fearing something instead. And following their example, the elves, the dwarves also went into hiding. 

As if they're preparing for something catastrophic… 

  This book was good and all but it didn't explain why there were monsters and beasts. 

I tried skimming through some of the other ones but- there was just a small problem.

All these books had great information but almost all of them assumed I had the common sense of someone from this world. But I didn't.

I didn't have the commonsense neither the patience to actually go through these damn books. 

I stared at the damn stack of books. All my life, I never bothered to read anything even if it meant failing my whole grade and here I thought I could actually go through all these damn books written in this damn cryptic language in their own fun new way…. The fuck was I thinking?

The fuck indeed.