Unpredictable Variable

"What have you done!? I told you there's a monster beneath that human skin!"After Gerald left, Shadow steadily got to his feet. Just like Darkness, his boots were also in a small yellow puddle. He straightened his clothes and carefully stepped away.Darkness moved to the side as well, and with a wave of her hand, extracted the wetness from her clothes. "How could I have known he would achieve Enlightenment from that? He just barely stepped into the Golden Core.""I'm not talking about that. It's the Killing Intent! What the hell was that? I felt as if an ancient beast was trying to claw its way into our world. It was terrifying! I felt worthless, less than an ant before a Dragon, and the only thing I felt I could do was bury my head into the ground and beg for mercy."He wiped the blood from his forehead and rubbed the swollen patch of skin."I'm sorry… But you are right, he is dangerous. Do you think Master knew this would happen? Is he trying to use him? If something like that gets unleashed against our enemies, it could do wonders."Shadow sighed. "We can only hope so. Still, we need to keep an eye on him, no matter the consequences!"***I woke up from a sleep without dreams. Opening my eyes, I stared at the ceiling with not a single thought in my mind. I felt… nothing.Something at the back of my mind told me that was wrong, but I just… didn't care. I stared at the ceiling, unmoving, for what must have been hours. When I eventually rolled over and stood up, it was just because I had to pee.I slowly went and did my business, still with not a speck of emotion to be found anywhere. I didn't remember much of what happened the previous day, except that I was learning new things by the end of it. I had a vague feeling that something big happened, yet it all seemed so… uninteresting. Worthless. A waste of effort to even consider.Maybe that's what they called depression? I considered it. Maybe. I didn't feel sad, I just felt… nothing. Aimlessly walking down the long hallway, I visited many rooms, each new one just as uninteresting as the last. I was searching for something, I just didn't know what."Gerald?"I was the Elder. Elder Li. My eyes glanced at him, but I couldn't focus for more than a few seconds as there was nothing to keep my interest. I turned around wordlessly and began walking away.I felt a strong hand grab me by the shoulder and turn me around."What happened to you, boy? You look unwell."I shrugged my shoulders, very slightly, but otherwise didn't answer. Why would I? I had no reason to. If my body wasn't doing it on its own, I felt I would stop breathing as well. It was so tiring."Ah, I see the problem."Elder Li placed a hand on my chest, and then I felt like a million volts of electricity just blasted through me. My entire body flexed at once and I roared in pain. A second later, the color of the world returned, with all my lost emotions.[Aaaaaah! What the hell was that?!]"Sorry about that. It seems you experienced a rare mental state… It's called a Heart Demon, and they can get quite tricky."I blinked a few times to get the tears of pain under control. [A Heart Demon?]"It can happen when you make a mistake in Cultivation, or when you experience some deep trauma." He explained simply. "They come in many forms, but it seems you got the one that took away all your emotions. The funny thing is, some people actually try to mimic that state to help them Cultivate."Elder Li shook his head. "Luckily I found you. This thing can often evolve and grow until you completely lose the will to live. Especially if you aren't aware of its existence."[Yeah, about that...]I was pretty sure I didn't care if I lived or died there."Then it's really good I found you. Fortunately, extreme pain could break it. Well, in your case, at least. There are a few where pain only makes them stronger, especially when a Heart Demon is one born out of rage and hate."I lowered my head and cupped my fists. [Then I'm in your debt, Elder. Thank you.]"Never mind all that." Elder Li waved his hand. "But, tell me... Did something happen?"That was a good question, one I wasn't sure I could answer. Mostly because I didn't remember much.[Forgive me Elder, but I'm not sure myself. I vaguely remember having a chat with the… With Shadow and Darkness, but after that, I just felt tired and went to sleep. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it.]"No trauma? Nothing big happened?"[Definitely no trauma. Nothing that I would be aware of.]Elder Li stroked his beard in thought. "Hmm… Odd. Usually, there would be something."I didn't really know what to say. Whatever happened was weird, but I was back to normal, even if I did feel somewhat lethargic. But then I got an idea that might help me get back in the mood. [Well, while we are at it… Would it be possible for me to leave for a hunt for a week or so? I need more cores for my golem, and I'm in need of some money too.]Since I was a personal Disciple of Elder Li, I had to ask him for permission before leaving the Sect. He was my superior, and the one responsible for me."No." He answered immediately.[What? Why not?]I was extremely surprised. I expected him to just flatly allow it and I could be on my way in an hour. But he didn't and that really put a damper on my mood."It wasn't my decision." Elder Li said and then sighed. "Gerald, let's be honest, you are not a typical Cultivator. You have only been here a year, yet you already broke through to the Golden Core Realm. It's unnatural, unprecedented, and things like that attract a lot of attention."[So, someone made the decision to stop me in advance?]"It was the Sect Master. He took an interest in you." He frankly admitted.[And that is… bad?] I frowned."Well, it's certainly not good." Elder Li turned serious. "Look at it this way. Sect Master Yo Shi is responsible for well over 100.000 Souls, both young and old, as well as keeping the Sect running as smoothly as possible. It is paramount that he simplifies things and controls for every variable possible if he ever hopes to achieve some semblance of control."[And I'm the unpredictable variable?]"More than you can imagine. You did gain some goodwill by uncovering the spy network, but that will only take you so far. Just the fact that such a thing happened after only a year, means things will most likely escalate." Elder Li said grimly."I will not lie to you, Gerald, I tried to examine your future with my Divination, yet the more I look the more confusing and uncertain it becomes. What I'm trying to say is that such unpredictable variables often bring with them great changes to the world. Whether you are going to bring prosperity or disaster, is still unknown. At least that's what Sect Master thinks."[And that's why he wants to keep an eye on me and just wait and see?] I frowned. That was going to be a problem. I didn't like having my freedoms constrained."Exactly. So please, don't do anything reckless. As long as you are here you will be fine. But, if you go out, you will most certainly be observed. Actually, even the fact that those two were kicked out of the Midnight Order is suspicious."[Shadow and Darkness? In what way?]"Members of the Order stay part of it for life. Anyone forced to leave will do so in a casket. That's why I'm suspecting…"[Master Yo Shi pretended to banish them so they could keep an eye on me.] I squeezed my fist in frustration. [And they don't even know it.]"Please don't keep a grudge against the Sect Master. As I said, he has a lot on his plate, and unless something big happens, he will be happy to just watch from the sidelines. Besides, just the fact that he spoke with you personally was a big deal in your favor. Usually, stuff just happens while he doesn't even leave his hall."I bowed and cupped my fists. [I understand, Master. I'll try to keep out of trouble.]Elder Li nodded. "You do that. If you have any more questions, I'll be at your disposal."[Thank you, Master.]