Confusion

Deep underground, in the eternal darkness, a bloody battle came to an end.

Tabbris and the warriors under his lead managed to preserve against the onslaught of mankind's eternal enemy. The Orcs.

This included their younger and less developed forms, the Goblins and Hobgoblins.

As they were extinguishing the life of the last few remaining stragglers, the men's faces were all but happy. Their expressions were somber and full of anger and grief. Today they witnessed the pinnacle of the harshness and cruelty of the world. They lost friends, brothers, some of them even lovers…

It was tragic. More than half of the entire force was severely wounded, currently dying, or outright dead.

"Take some rest! We don't know what else is waiting for us…" Tabbris Northendark said in a somber voice and sat down on a rock. He rested his head on his knees and released a long and exhausted sigh.

Seven dead, or soon to be, another five severely wounded, and only less than ten were still relatively okay. It was a disaster! He felt like he let down those that followed and trusted him as if he had failed them as a leader. He just wanted to wake up from this nightmare and do a do-over.

Only the problem was… he was not asleep.

***

[It's time for rest.]

[The expedition went horribly wrong.

At first, we thought it was going to be easy!

The beasts on the surface could barely be considered a nuisance against fifty armored warriors.

Unfortunately, we split up after going underground.

I'm not sure if this is what led to the current disaster, but it certainly didn't help.

After walking through the labyrinth of tunnels for a while, we found…

… Something too horrible for words.

Long story short, we were ambushed… sort of.

We fought…

We killed…

Some of us were killed in return…

It was a mess.

So much blood and gore everywhere, I think I'll have nightmares for months to come.

Luckily I survived with only minor wounds.

Nothing I can't handle.

Eventually, we won, but not after losing many of our people.

They sacrificed their lives so we could live.

Well…

One of them tried to escape.

He got mauled by a monster that tried to attack us from behind.

I guess cowards and deserters are useful sometimes too.

Can't blame him.

When the battle started it appeared like the beasts were endless.

Luckily they weren't.

Just a few hundred of them.

Fuck.

I still don't know how we managed to win when they outnumbered us ten to one.

Our mages did their best, and our leader, Tabbris, also made use of some special spells.

I think he used a spell scroll.

It was extremely powerful!

He used it after the Goblins were taken care of and Orcs came to fight.

There was a sudden gust of wind and the monsters were torn to shreds in seconds!

It was great, but…

…It only killed twenty or so.

Most of the battle is somewhat blurry in my mind.

I remember swinging my sword like mad.

Even when my muscles were burning from exhaustion I was still swinging.

I collapsed at some point.

They probably thought I was dead and left me alone.

Lucky me!

... That was sarcasm.

If this is lucky, then I would rather die than be unlucky.

Anyway, when I came to, it was already over.

Now our leader ordered us to rest, so that's what I'm doing.

I can hear quiet sobs from a few of our members.

I think a girl here lost her fiancé.

Oh, wait, no, he's still alive…

It's just… he is gutless… Because they are on the ground beside him.

He seems to be losing a lot of blood, there is no helping him.

His friends seem to be trying to calm him down, saying it's going to be okay…

It's…

I…

I think I too shall take a rest.]

***

Pain! There was so much pain! His mind was filled with pictures, sounds, and emotions… As well as lots and lots of pain!

There was a forest. He felt himself run barefoot on the soft ground. He agilely moved from a bush to a tree, always hiding from someone.

Like a thief in the night, he quietly climbed a tall tree, and suddenly jumped forward, gripping the neck of a human there. He could feel the blood pulsing under his grasp and the fear and struggle of his victim. It made him feel good!

Then the vision changed.

He was in a dark cave, he couldn't see well but he could smell the scent of fresh blood and rotting flesh. Weirdly, it was not revolting, instead, it felt familiar, normal, even calming.

It felt like home.

Then he heard a whisper in his ear.

"Kill...them… Kill...those...humanssss…."

The words came out slowly, they were stretched out, almost as if spoken in a slow motion. He suddenly felt compelled to rush out and to fight, to kill!

The vision changed again.

It felt similar to how people describe their near-death experiences to be. Where the entire life flashes before your eyes. Memories of events changed in rapid succession before his eyes faster and faster, combined with various strong emotions, they created a nauseating feeling.

It was as if he was spinning uncontrollably while falling into an abyss. The flashes of memories he saw felt so familiar as if they were his own. But they couldn't be! It made no sense!

Sometimes he was tall, sometimes he was short. Sometimes he was the one dying, other times he was the one killing. It was messy and confusing.

An almost perfect memory can sometimes be just as much a curse as it can be a blessing, and Gerald was currently experiencing the former.

Lifetimes of memories, grievances, and emotions poured into his head, leaving him with nothing to do but scream in pain. His personality mixed with hundreds of others into a confusing mess of emotions and memories.

While all of that was happening in his mind, however, the outside world was quite chaotic too. Fire, Wind, Earth, and Space were all affected by his unfocused mind.