Chapter 4

When my mind turned on and started running wild once more, I had a claustrophobic attack mixed with a panic one and, at the same time, I felt an uncontrolled rage that I had to lock up deep in my heart in order to stay in control. I needed to get out of there, I had full adrenaline and could hurt someone if I lost my stirrups.

I took off the blue sweatshirt and put a black sweatshirt on top of the tank top, put on the hood and quickly went out into the hall.

What if that guy was watching me?

Could he kill my father for any reason other than because he was a psychopath?

Suddenly, the image of that sweatshirt covered in my father's blood, left behind in that jail room, came up. The worst question occurred to me.

Are you saying that you are after me just like my father?

Those unanswered questions drowned me. Finally I left the residential building and headed towards the small cedar park next to it.

I chose a big one with many roots, that had been my favorite since I had arrived. I sat in the middle of two large branches and curled up, wrapping my arms around my legs. Being hidden like this made me feel safe, even though I was still tense like a guitar cord, I could breath again. Without warning the tears began to fall down my face as I asked more unanswered questions that threatened my state of sanity and upset my emotional balance.

Am I going to end up like my father?

When are you going to come get me?

What will you do to me if you find me?

If I tell the police, will they take me for crazy?

Will I be able to finish my university grade?

Are you going to do something to my mother?

My thoughts were unexpectedly interrupted by a very sexy and husky yet annoying voice.

"Are you okay?" Said the stranger that turned out to be the goddamned bartener also known as Mason, the guy looked at me leaning against the tree in front.

I did not know very well how to react, so I just behaved like a scared animal, whos being watched over by a predator, and stayed there without moving a single hair.

What was he doing here? Was he going to get revenge for the stupid blonde? I didn't dare to watch him face to face, it was too much at the moment and all this thoughts just made my head hurt like a hundred monkeys were playing inside of it.

I opted to finally take a chance and look him straight in the eye because he wasn't moving. I didn't know what was worse, having him there just looking at me or him kicking my sorry ass. I just needed to look at him, he knew I knew he was there, so... What could go wrong? I sure could always try to make a run. I needed to make a decision.

"Leave me alone" I said with my head still hidden on my knees. I heard his footsteps approaching and as if he had felt my nervousness, he stopped when a terrified shiver went down my spine and stepped further away.

"C'mon, don't be shy" He insisted from afar. "I know how to keep a secret"

Then I raised my head and tittled a little to the right, just like when you talk to a puppy and they don't understand you and they move their head around.

"Before or after you kick my ass?" I said after sniffing my nose, wondering if my grey eyes would be swollen from the tears. He seemed quite surprised at first, then his looks became gentle and he sat down in the weeds.

"And why in hell would I want to kick your sad ass?" His face showed a sarcastic yet playful smile that made me wonder if I really was going to die there from cuteness.

"My ass is sorry and sexy," I replied, blowing my cheeks with overconfidence. "but not sad"

His smile widened and I looked the opposite way, clearly angry. Then he raised his hands in sign of defeat and peace.

" Sorry, then, sexy ass" I turned around faster than the girl from the Exorcist just to kill him with my eyes.

"Shut the hell up" Seeing that I was calmer than before, he stood up and walked next to me to sit on the root that was lying on my right. "You're invading my personal space"

He never replied, he just reached his hand and caressed my hair, untangling it as if he had all day to do it. I wanted to ask why he was doing that, but as comoforting as it felt, I didn't want to break the moment. It just felt right, so there was no need to push him away.

"Are you feeling better now?" I sighed, I wasn't feeling better, but he sure knew how to take things out of my mind.

"I have to go back." Then I remembered that we still were on the Death Week, also known as the Exams Week, when, at least, half of us didn't even sleep just to get an unsatisfying passed.

Luckily, I wasn't part of that half, and those moments I thanked God for my photografic memory. If it wasn't for that I wasn't sure I would even have entered University. But, who knows, maybe so maybe not.

"Are you coming to the bar tonight?" He asked putting his hand under his chin and bright eyes that made my mental image of him become even cutter than that of a puppy. And then I snapped out of his charms.

"It's Monday" And I had two very important and life settling final tests next morning.

"It's not what you think," He explained with a laugh. Why was everything about him so god damned cute? "remember I work there? It's quiet on weekdays, I could use some company and you can study in peace there"

Even though at first it sounded as a crazy offer, now it kind of made sense. If it was true that the bar was dead on weekdays I may even have found my new library, and no one would ever bother me there. Thinking about it, who would approach a girl studying at a bar? No one, only a weirdo would study at a bar. And I'm a weirdo.

"I'll pass by," I assured with a frown. "But if there's too much noise I'm going home to study"

He shrugged his shoulders, then we shook hands to close the deal and said goodbye.

"See you this night, miss sexy ass lady." He said with a dramatic bow and fox smarty eyes that only made mine roll with boredom. He should sign up for some drama lessons.

I started going back towards my room, as I was lost in thoughts I noticed something shaking in my pants. I took the phone off and all the sadness came back when I read who was calling, deciding I didn't need that at the moment, I let the phone dial until the voicemail popped. Later I would hear the thousand messages that she had probably left in my voicemail. But right now I wasn't ready to deal with that, neither the scars that she left everytime she entered this state.