Zombie Attack at the Swanson

Kline took a deep breath, staring at the rich wood ceiling above him. The room had the feeling of a cabin in the woods, matching the mountain resort backdrop.

He thought about everything that happened after the bath.

Getting tips and tricks on how to slit his own throat. Nazi gaslighting training. Watching Rit get stepped on.

During that period, he avoided Violet, who stared at him creepily.

He also felt strangely uncomfortable around the ever-cheery redhead Mindy. She was popular and well-loved, so he couldn't understand why he wanted to avoid her.

Rebecca worked in the hot springs that day, preventing him from coming in contact with her. He felt that was a shame, as he had enjoyed talking to her for a plethora of cultured reasons.

Then there was Bell.

"GaaaaaahhhhHHhhHHhhhhHHhh!" Kline groaned, smothering his face with a large red pillow to mute the sound, "Idiot! You're a fucking idiot!

Why in the hell would you think someone that beautiful, intelligent, and strong-willed would be obsessed with [you]? You, a desperate virgin without social skills!"

He pulled the pillow onto his head tighter, muffling his voice significantly.

Between Kline thrashing, groaning, and snapping, it sounded like a professional ninja assassin was smothering him with a pillow.

It was only 9 pm, so he didn't overthink it. However—

Boom! BOOM! Boom, boom! CRaaaaaaACK!

Kline listened in horror as his heavy wood door cracked and splintered from a surreal level of force. The attacks were serious.

He could hear the door splintering with every blow and knew it'd give way soon. If he were in a horror movie and yelled [Hurry! I'll buy time to hold back the zombies!], he'd be a room-temperature jello shot in t-minus 15 seconds. The attacks were that extreme.

However, he wasn't in a horror movie. He was in the real world, where a grunting woman violently smashed his door into bits. That was worse! So much fucking worse!

Survive a slow zombie? Hard maybe! Surviving an overpowered human? Not with his luck!

He jumped out of bed and searched for a weapon. Unfortunately, he only saw an ice pail, a computer, and a massive bottle of lotion.

Kline chuckled immaturely, imagining bludgeoning a professional ninja assassin to death with an oversized lotion bottle.

However, the terrified virgin frowned when he thought about trying to explain to the cops why he had an OP bottle of lotion and why he used it as a self-defense weapon—against a woman.

"Calm down! I'm the opposite of [won't come quietly]!" He yelled, grabbing the useless pail to avoid death-by-cringe, "I'm alone and ridiculously difficult to kill.

That makes me a strong kidnap applicant and poor murder candidate!"

The door stopped breaking, and the area fell silent. A moment later, Kline heard the mystery person sigh a breath of relief before inhaling sharply and running down the hall. It confused him, but only a moment later—

"Kliiiiiiiine!" A woman yelled frantically, turning the corner.

"Rebecca?" The frightened virgin responded.

"Yes! It's me, Rebecca!" Rebecca confirmed, running up to the battered door, "Are you okay!? What happened!?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kline replied, "Some crazy woman started smashing the door randomly."

"I-I see." She stuttered, "Let me help you out of here. I'm using the door handle, so keep back, okay?"

"Sure thing." He replied, taking a step back.

Rebecca took a deep breath. "Okay, here I—OW! Ow-ow-ow!"

Kline jumped back in shock, crashing into the desk lamp when her arm shot through the door, still holding the doorknob and locking her into place.

Thud!

The brunette dropped the knob; now, her arm was flailing in the room like a zombie, lit by the flickering desk lamp he had just crashed into.

Horror factor: increased.

If that wasn't bad enough—

"Kliiiiiiiine!" Rebecca screamed, arm getting stabbed by splinters, "I need you right now, Kline!"

—she was screaming at the top of her lungs.

Horror factor: maxed.

"I'm coming! What should I do!?" Kline cried.

"I just need you to hold me!" The brunette cried, "We can work things out later. Just hold me!"

"Okay!" He yelled in a panic, running up to the door.

Just as Kline grabbed her arm, relieving her pain, his luck kicked in, and everything went to hell.

"I'm not sure what you're doing, but stop it before I tear off your fingernails and claw your throat out with them!" An unfamiliar, terrifyingly aggressive voice declared.

"This isn't; I'm just—aghhhhHHH!" Rebecca screamed in fear, pushing forward through the door sharply.

Kline held her arm below the doorknob level, standing in front of it. So when she flew forward, something remarkable happened. "AhhHH~!"

The virgin's eyes rolled to the back of his skull as the brunette's soft hands flew forward, grabbing his crotch while trying to find traction. Immediately after—

"HHHhhhaaAGHhhhHHhHH!" He screamed at full volume.

—she fell to the ground, crotch still in hand.

Thud!

Kline's head smashed into the door as squatted and tilted forward, getting pulled by her grip. It was brutal, but things only got worse.

"AhhhhhHHHH! Stop pulling my hair!" Rebecca screamed as an unknown woman yanked her out of the door.

The tragedy-laden virgin, delirious with pain, snapped back into reality when the brunette flew backward, still holding his little brother.

"GahhHHHhhHHH Let go! Rebecca!" Kline yelped, pleading. He knew she would only suffer more but wouldn't sacrifice his member to save her from an excessive miscommunication beating.

"S-Sorry!" She cried, plopping on the ground.

"Do you think your [sorry] will make up for hurting him?" The aggressive asked maliciously, "Keep facing forward or I'll gift Kline your overies as a revenge momento!"

"O-Okay, and… I-I was trying to help!" Rebecca stuttered, "The door was kicked in when—"

"LIES!" The voice screamed in a bone-chilling voice.

Kline looked down and saw goosebumps after hearing it. It made his mind fill with dread and discontent. He had never experienced something so terrifying.

Neither had the brunette, who made random noises, opening and closing her mouth.

"If it's your stalker, only you can save Rebecca." He whispered to himself, "Wait, what am I saying!? Fuck that! The difference between bravery and stupidity is whether you die, and death is very, very, very-very-very likely at the moment!"

Even convincing himself to help was out of the question. However, one's true nature boldly shows its potential at the strangest times.

"What are you saying?" Kline slapped his cheeks twice. "Rebecca's done so much for you. She let you touch her boobs, and this is how you repay her!? And you call yourself a man!?"

As remarkable proof of the virgin's overpowered super healing, he was already free of pain and had a slight chub, thinking about saving the brunette and getting rewarded later.

The thought invigorated his mind and gave him strength, motivation, and passion for saving his busty goddess.

"Is that his room?"

"Yeah, it is! What happened?"

"What are you two doing here?"

"Wait, what the hell happened to the door!?"

Kline stood up, grabbed the area inside the jagged, splintered hole that Rebecca had created with his left hand, and pulled back with full strength.

**Sharp sound of the door groaning, cracking, and snapping in his hand, followed by shrapnel violently piercing his stomach and hands!**

"Gah, why!?" The annoyed virgin cried, grumbling and ignoring the blood profusely gushing from his hand as if it were a tedious action.

When the hall fell silent, he finally snapped out of his daze and looked up, finding a dozen stunned women watching him through the massive hole in the door, observing his body heal in real-time.

"Oh…." Kline muttered awkwardly, "This is… exactly what it looks like. I heal quickly."

The women blinked twice, looking at his hand. [Healing quickly] was an offensive-grade understatement!

"Hey, Kline." A sweet voice called out, "Can you please stand back?"

"I…." He replied in perplexion, "Sure… Violet… right?"

"Yes." Violet replied calmly, "Step back, please."

"Ah, yes." Kline replied in a haze before moving a few paces to the right to get out of the way.

BOOM-CRAaaaaAAACK!

**Biblical explosion of wooden shrapnel from an overpower spartan kick!**

Kline blinked twice in horror, watching the cute woman casually lowering her foot. "What… the hell?"

The door still hadn't opened. However, there was just a massive hole that Kline could step through if he bent slightly. It was wild!

"It's still not budging." Violet frowned, pushing on the door, "Okay, then I'll just—"

"No, no!" He cried, it's okay, "I'll just walk out of the hole."

She nodded cutely and stepped back, allowing him to step forward and make his way out with a beating heart.

He didn't want to go out but needed to check on Rebecca, his devoted life experience waifu.

When he stepped out into the hallway, his eyes widened in shock. There was a shit load of people around him!

Besides Rebecca, who was bleeding on the ground, half-traumatized, and Violet, carefully observing him, there were at least a dozen people in the hallway.

Most notably, Mindy, the charming redhead, stared at him with trembling eyes. Caitlyn and Mira, the blonde and brunette from the bath, also eyed him.

Another nine people he had never met were present, alongside two Swanson Spa employees watching in shock. That meant that at least a third of the retreat participants were present.

However, one person was conspicuously missing: Catalina Bell.

For an inextricable reason, her absence sent his brain spinning through a blender. However, he couldn't think about her or his attacker.

Kline wanted to know who the woman with the bone-chilling voice pulling Rebecca's hair was. She seemed dangerous, and he didn't hear her leave before walking out.

However, every woman present wore innocent, concerned expressions devoid of anger or discontent. There wasn't a single mannerism that suggested one had been viciously angry only a moment before. That fact sent waves of shivers crawling down his spine.