Truth

Jon

A week had passed, a week since he'd blackened Lord Stark's eye. Regret had been the last thing he felt when he woke up the next morning and entered the great hall to break his fast and saw what he'd done to his face.

Everybody had asked him what had happened, everyone except from him of course, he'd just sat there and ate his bacon in relative peace. His father had every right to say it was him but claimed he'd walked into the cabinet in his solar and that somebody had forgotten to light candles in there. Vayon Poole, the steward of Winterfell looked chastised as he stood at the side of the room.

It had been a week since then and it had been a week since he'd told everybody he was going to go and see his uncle. It wasn't a lie that he truly missed his uncle Benjen, he'd not seen him in years and with access to a speed demon in the form of Kireina, he couldn't pass up the opportunity to go and see him.

He'd had an earful from everyone, including Lord Stark which was a bit of a surprise, he thought he'd be glad to see the back of him for a while. He'd told Arya, who was predictably the most vocal, that he would be back and this wasn't goodbye, just a see you later. She'd begrudgingly accepted that answer but didn't cease in her sulking until the moment he was saying his farewells a few days ago.

Everybody else had accepted that he was eventually coming back, all except from Lord Stark and his wife. His father had accused him of running away from his problems again, he was partially right but he didn't want to give the man the satisfaction of being right, so he just warned him that this wasn't the end of their conversation.

That had closed his mouth.

Lady Stark's reaction was odd but quite obvious after a few seconds to think about it. She clearly thought he was going to Castle Black to take his vows and not to see a family member. He'd just nodded his head at her as she wished him good luck but nearly bawled out in laughter when he caught Arya giving her mother the dirtiest look he'd ever seen.

And now he was here, high above the clouds and what looked like a few minutes away from the wall, a structure that took his breath away the first time he saw it. It was truly one of the great wonders of the known world, something you had to see with your own eyes to appreciate.

Kireina's landing was quick and elegant within the cover of a forest just a mile away from what he assumed was Castle Black, she'd clearly been practising since that mess in Hornwood Forest.

He grabbed his bag from her back and looped it over his shoulder, he'd only brought the one bag with a change of clothes, the other one with the two valyrian swords had been left in Winterfell, more specifically, hidden in the crypts of Winterfell. He would've left them in his own room but was too scared of somebody finding them...or Arya messing around with them whilst he wasn't there.

The snow from the leaves on the tree was disrupted as Kireina sprang back into the air and out of sight. He'd suggested to her that she could have a roam around beyond the wall, something she was very against for some reason. She'd set off without another word so he never found out why she was so apprehensive.

This was the furthest north he'd ever been and it was true what they said about it being colder the more north you went. He wasn't at the point of shivering but he was getting there as he trudged through the snow before finally finding a beaten path to walk along.

After twenty minutes of walking, Castle Black was in view, and so was the wall. From this perspective it made him feel a little queasy looking straight up, almost like he expected it to just fall on him at any moment.

"HALT!" A man said from above the front gate of the ancient castle. He stopped in his tracks as he looked at the man.

"STATE YOUR BUSINESS!" The man yelled across to him.

"I'M HERE TO SEE BENJEN STARK! IS HE IN OR HAS THIS BEEN A WASTE OF TIME?!" He yelled back.

The man seemed to look at him for a few seconds before turning around and talking to somebody.

He must have been stood there for a few minutes before the gate was slowly opened up, the man who had been speaking to him calling him over.

"What's your name?" The man asked as they walked towards the now open gate and into the courtyard. Everybody seemingly dropping everything they were doing to stare at him.

"Jon, Jon Snow." He said as the man nodded and just left him there in the courtyard. He had to readjust his shoulders, mainly to make sure his swords were still in place, he had to remember that he was alone in a courtyard full of criminals.

Lord Stark had genuinely tip toed around the idea of sending him here. He thought as he took in his surroundings.

Heavy running footsteps could be heard as he turned to his left, on a balcony above him stood awe-stricken uncle. He smiled as he saw the look on his face.

He'd never seen his uncle move so fast as he rushed down the stairs from the balcony to the courtyard and half walked half jogged towards him.

He was momentarily shocked by the smack across the back of his head before being engulfed in a bear hug.

"You fucking idiot, I thought you were dead." His uncle said as he finally let go of him. He held him on the shoulders at arm's length and seemed to drink him in.

"Let's get a good look at ya." He said as he seemed to hone in on his face more than anything.

"What's this?" He said as he grabbed his face with one hand and rubbed his beard.

He chuckled "Robb's worst nightmare." He answered as uncle Benjen just about managed to rest his arm across his shoulder.

His uncle chuckled himself as he walked them towards what he guessed was the main keep "He still trying with all that?" He asked as he smiled and shook his head. His uncle squeezed his shoulder "Gods, what you been eating? You remind me of your uncle Brandon every time I see ya." He laughed.

The warmth of the hall hit him in an instant as they walked in, thankfully the room was quiet.

"The right things." He replied as he took his bag off of his shoulder and dropped it on a bench, the jug of what he guessed was ale on the table looking very appetising right now.

His uncle chuckled again as they both took a seat, he grabbed two horns and filled them both with whatever contents lurked inside the jug.

"So..." Uncle Benjen said as he slid the mug across to him "Where in the world have you been Jon?" His uncle finished.

He sighed as he looked down into his ale "I've been very far from home uncle. West mainly." He said as he took a sip from his mug, pulling a face when he actually tasted it.

His uncle looked at him in confusion "West? As in the Westerlands?" He asked as he took a sip from his own horn.

He shook his head "Even further, across the Sunset Sea." He said as he soldiered on with his drink.

Benjen's eyes grew wide as his mug halted its journey towards his mouth "You're shitting me?" He said.

He shook his head "Nope, sailed across the whole bloody thing. Pretty sure I had the old gods and every other god looking down on me on the way there though." He said as he smiled at his uncles gobsmacked face.

"You're not lying, are you?" Benjen said as he shook his head. "Unbelievable." He finished.

"Believe it." He said as he necked the rest of his ale with a grimace "I scarcely believe it happened myself."

"How long have you been back like?" His uncle asked as he unfortunately started pouring him another mug of ale.

He shook his head "Not long."

"You been back home?" He asked.

He grimaced at that but nodded "Yeah, everyone seemed pleased to see me again, well, nearly everyone." He said. His uncle seemed to understand who he was referring to as he nodded.

"And what about your father? I bet he was made up to see you again. I know he'd sent a few ravens out asking about you, even one here. I think he thought you might have taken the black."

He sighed at the mention of his father.

Benjen noticed this as well "Oh dear, what's he done now?" He asked.

"He's done a few things lately but it's not what he's done, it's what I did." He said.

"Out with it then." Benjen said as he waved off someone who had just popped his head through the door.

"Thumped him didn't I. Left him with a shiner and I don't know how to feel about it. It's one of the reasons I came up to see you, a second opinion...and to see my favourite uncle of course." He said, rushing the last part out.

His uncle shook his head as he took a gulp of his ale "That bloody wolfs blood for ya that, your uncle Brandon and your aunt Lya were exactly the same, act now think later. Sometimes wonder if it's a blessing or a curse on our family." He said.

"Well? What should I do?" He asked as he leaned his arms on the table.

"Well for starters, did you apologise after?"

He scoffed "Did I fuck, he had it coming."

"What happened?" Benjen asked.

"I asked about my mother and he flat out refused to tell me."

"Ah." His uncle said as he placed his mug on the table.

"It wasn't like it was something out of the blue me hitting him, it's been building for a long time and I just snapped." He said.

"Well you're what, 17 now? You're old enough to know by now and If I knew who it was, I would tell ya myself." Benjen said.

"You have no idea who it could be? Did he not tell you anything?" He asked.

"Trust me, I asked him quite a few questions when he turned up with you but the identity of your mother was never revealed, sorry lad." His uncle said as his head dropped.

"The only person I could think of would have been Lady Ashara but he denied it when I asked him." Benjen expanded.

He shook his head "It's not her, did a bit of digging and found that out myself, from the woman herself." He said.

His uncle's eyebrow quirked at that "You've met her?" He asked as he nodded "You really have been busy haven't ya?"

"You have no idea."

"Oh, by the way, you have another niece." He said nonchalantly, his uncle's eyes going wide like saucers.

"What!?"

He nodded "Lady Ashara had a child, a daughter, kept it from father because I existed. She thought Lord Stark was honourable to a fault but felt betrayed when he married Catelyn and even more so when I came into the picture."

Benjen rubbed his face and huffed "What is this family coming to?" He said to himself before looking back at him. "What's her name? What's she like?" He asked.

He smiled while remembering about her "Her names Clarissa and she's brilliant. Bit of a mixture of Arya and Sansa to be honest, has a bit of an interest in swordplay but also the more feminine interests as well, she'd given me a braid when I let her mess with my hair when I was there." He said with a smile as he shook his head.

His uncle chuckled himself "She reminds me of someone going by your description." He said wistfully.

"Who?"

"Your aunt Lyanna." Benjen said "She tolerated the feminine arts as you like to say but she was more passionate about her horses and smacking me and your uncles black and blue with sticks." He said as he smiled, a sad smile obvious to anyone who saw it.

He smiled along with him as he started scratching the wooden table with his nail "I wish I knew more about her, father never really talks about her." He said.

"Understandable, bit a touchy subject talking about her with all things considered." His uncle said.

"He sometimes talks about our uncle Brandon with all things considered, I don't see the difference really." He replied as he looked down at the little groves he'd made in the table with his nail.

His uncle went quiet for a for a minute until he looked back up from the table at him, seemingly catching his uncle starring at him with an odd look on his face.

"What?" He asked.

His uncle visibly swallowed and shook his head "Nothing, I hope." He said as he took a sip from his horn.

They sat there in comfortable silence after that, him looking into the fireplace and his uncle seemingly staring at him intently. He could see it in his peripheral vision but decided not to call him out on it, he probably just missed him that's all.

They were disrupted from their comfortable silence as the door to the hall swung open, revealing two men. One of them was a broad-shouldered man, a head of grey hair and a grey-white beard. Jon held his stern gaze before looking at the lad next to him, he was smaller than the old man, had black curly hair not too different to his own and an almost feminine looking face.

"What's this then?" The burly man said as he looked at his uncle. He turned to look at Benjen and once again caught him staring.

"Well!?" The man asked, seemingly breaking his uncle from his thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh...forgive me Lord Commander." Benjen said "Jon, this is Jeor Mormont, the Lord Commander of the Nights watch. Jeor, this is my...nephew, Jon." He said as he stood from the table, him following his uncles lead.

He clasped hands with the older man and shared a hard handshake "Strong grip you got there lad, I imagine you put that to good use while using them." Jeor said as he nodded at the swords on his back.

He laughed as he released the man's hand "Aye, you could say that." He said as he looked to his left and notice the other man looking at him intently. He held out his hand towards him.

"Jon." He said as the other man held his hand and shook it.

"Satin." He replied, as he seemed to reluctantly let go of his hand.

The Lord Commander clapped his gloved hands together "Right, with introductions out of the way, what can we do for you Jon? Come to take the black? Could use some stronger lads like yourself around here." He said as he chuckled.

He laughed with him "I appreciate the offer but no, it's just a visit, been years since I've seen this one." He said as he nodded towards his uncle.

"That's a shame, we're always appreciative of extra men." Jeor replied as he looked back at his uncle. "Well, if you plan on staying then we'll sort you a room out for your stay. Satin..." The old bear said as the other man seemed to already know what was asked of him as he headed back outside.

The Lord Commander turned back to them "I'll leave you two to it then. Feel free to help out at all while you're here Jon, it was nice to meet ya." Jeor said as he clapped him on the shoulder before exiting the room as well.

He turned back to his uncle "He seems nice." He said.

"Hmmm." Was all Benjen said. He seemed to be in his own world at the moment.

He chuckled "C'mon then, you gonna give me a tour or what?" He said as he grabbed his bag.

Benjen nodded "Course I will, but before that there's somebody I would like you to meet." He said, a weird look on his face as he said it.

He nodded himself "Okay, somebody important I'm guessing since I've already talked with you and the Lord Commander?" He half guessed half asked.

"You could say that." His uncle replied as they made their way outside and towards a stout wooden keep across the balcony.

"Who is it I'm supposed to be meeting?" He asked as they approached a door.

Benjen turned and looked at him "Aemon Targaryen, he's the maester here at Castle Black and probably the wisest man in the seven kingdoms." He said, shocking Jon in the process.

A Targaryen, he'd never met someone of royal blood before, it seemed odd for one of them to be this far north.

Before his uncle knocked, he looked at him "Just a word of warning, the man is that old he's lost his sight so his form of greeting might seem a bit weird but just go with it." He said as he finally knocked.

Weird but okay.

A man who looked nowhere near as old as Benjen had described answered the door and looked at the pair of them, eyeing him a bit more suspiciously.

"Brother Benjen and..." The man said.

"Jon. His nephew." He answered as he nodded towards his uncle stood next to him.

"What can I do for you?" He asked.

"Just a quiet word with maester Aemon that's all, you can take a break if you like." Benjen answered, the man nodding as he opened the door wider for them and walked towards the hall they just came from.

The room they entered was quiet dark apart from the few candles that littered around the place, shelves stacked full of books wrapped all around the room.

Sat in the middle of the room was quite obviously the man his uncle had just described to him, bald, wrinkled and quite clearly blind if his milky eyes were anything to go by.

"Maester Aemon? It's me Benjen." His uncle revealed to the ancient looking man.

"Ah, Brother Benjen, what can I do for you and your friend?" He replied.

He looked at his uncle in confusion "Thought you said he was blind?" He whispered.

"While that may be true, my hearing is just fine." Aemon replied.

That thoroughly chastised him "Sorry...your grace?" He said as he looked at Benjen and shrugged his shoulders.

"Ha, I can't remember the last time I was called that, regardless, the moment I joined the watch my titles disappeared. Aemon or maester will suffice." He replied. "And who would you be?" he asked.

"Jon, Jon Snow." He replied.

"Ah, Lord Stark's son. Nice to meet you young one." Aemon said, confusing Jon.

"You know who I am?" He asked.

"Not personally, but I know Lord Stark has a son of the same name and you accompanied brother Benjen here so I worked it out myself, I'm apparently wise like that." Aemon said as he chuckled, Jon joined in.

"What can I do for the pair of you?" The old maester said.

His uncle cleared his throat "Just showing my nephew around and decided he should meet you, maybe you can greet him like you greeted me all those years ago?" His uncle seemed to suggest.

It almost sounds forced.

He didn't know what to expect but as soon as the man held his old wrinkled out in front of him, he knew what he wanted.

"May I?" Aemon asked as Jon nodded and instantly felt like an idiot. "Yeah." he answered.

"What's your colouring?" Aemon asked as he roamed his face with his hands.

"Dark brown hair, grey eyes." He replied as the old man focused his touch around his nose and cheekbone, intently moving them back and forth. The man's hands seemed to shake more the longer he felt up his face.

The hands finally left his face as they returned to the old maester's lap "What's your mother's name, if you don't mind me asking?" He asked as his eyes seemed to start to water.

He looked at his uncle in shock and confusion but never got a response from him, he was too busy shaking his head at the ground with his eyes closed.

He looked gutted.

He looked back at the old maester, completely confused now "Erm, I'm...I don't know." He answered, he was too uneasy to feel sad about that reply.

Aemon closed his eyes and took a deep breath, seemingly recovering from whatever incident that had just occurred "It's a cruel world we live in child, it would seem that man is the worst culprit." He said ominously.

His uncle seemed to recover as well as he cleared his throat "Erm...I...I'll come and see you later maester Aemon, I've got to show Jon here around the rest of the castle, maybe even take him up to the top of the wall." He said as he placed his hand on his back and ushered him to stand "You'll love it, it'll be the closest thing to being in the clouds that you'll ever know." He finished.

Wanna bet? He amusingly thought as they slowly made their way out the room.

He turned around before they left the room and saw the old maester was clearly crying "It was nice to meet you Aemon." He said as he looked at Benjen again in confusion, his uncle just shook his head.

"You too child. Visit again soon, will you?" He sniffed.

"Sure thing." He replied as he finally left the stuffy room, the cold air refreshing him to the core.

His uncle put his hand on his back and ushered him forward "Let's go to the top of the wall first, shall we?" He said as they walked along the balcony towards a crazy looking contraption, presumably the lift to the top.

He felt a childish giddiness as they entered the cage before slowly ascending up the side of the wall.

He nodded towards the maester's room that they'd just come from "That was a bit odd wasn't it, is that normal for him?" He asked, he really couldn't understand what had even happened in that room.

He looked at his uncle who seemed to be in a world of his own at the moment. He waved his hand in front of his face "Hello? You awake in there?" He asked.

Benjen blinked at him in confusion "Sorry, what did you say?"

He sighed "I said, is what happened in there normal? It all seemed a little odd if you ask me. I mean, why was he crying? was it something I said?" he asked.

His uncle shook his head "No no, you didn't say anything wrong. You have to remember Aemon is like a hundred years old, none of us know what struggles he could be going through at his age, I think meeting a new face may have just overwhelmed him today that's all." He answered.

His reasoning seemed a little off but he dropped it nonetheless.

They ascended the rest of the way to the top in silence, the wind slowly crept as the cage they were in seemed to sway. The moment they reached the top his uncle opened the gate and the pair of them made their way out.

"This way Jon." Benjen said as they made their way through the dugout trenches atop the wall. A small wooden platform almost hanging of the edge of the wall was where they ended up, the view overlooking the vast lands north of the wall as the sun slowly disappeared beyond the horizon.

They stood there just staring out into the distance for a minute or two, both of them in a deep in thought.

After another minute, his uncle broke the silence "Not bad eh?" He said as he nodded into the distance.

He just hummed in agreement.

They sat up there for at least an hour, him and Benjen shared stories with each other. One of the stories he was very wary of telling him about but with them literally being at the end of the world and away from any prying eyes, he decided to just go for it. He trusted his uncle to keep this a secret for now.

He cleared his throat "I'm gonna tell you something insane uncle and you have to promise me you won't go around yelling this from the rooftops. I've not told this to anybody because I'm afraid someone would overhear and make my life a lot more complicated. I feel comfortable telling you because I trust you and we happened to be in the most secluded place in westeros where there's no chance of it being overheard." He said.

Benjen looked at him with a furrowed brow "Bit ominous ain't it? What's got ya so paranoid?" He asked.

He took a deep breath and took the plunge,

"I have a dragon."

Silence.

He looked at his uncle and noticed he was trying so hard not to laugh "You what?" He chuckled.

He closed his eyes to calm himself, while doing so he sensed that Kireina was actually quite close to where they were.

She must be above us.

He opened his eyes and looked at Benjen, he was still grinning like a fool.

"Look up." He told him.

"What?" Benjen replied, still grinning.

"Go on, look up." He replied.

His uncle smiled and carried on smiling as he looked up.

He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders "What am I supposed to be looking at?" He asked.

"Look into the clouds, what do you see?" He said.

His uncle was still smiling as he shook his head and looked up into the clouds, he probably thought he was taking the piss.

"I see...oh my god! I...see...I see... a cloud." He answered whilst laughing at his own jape.

He smiled and shook his head, he loved his uncle "Look closer ya clever prick, like really look." He replied.

"Okay, I'll look closer at the clouds like an idiot." Benjen replied.

His uncle looked up and squinted, he must have looked for about half a minute and while he was doing that, Jon just stared at his face just waiting for it.

And there it is. He thought amusingly as he saw the smile drop from Benjen's face, "Fuck off!" He said as his eyes grew wide.

He smiled and looked down at his lap, giving his uncle time to recover.

He looked back up and saw his uncle leaning the back of his head against the icy wall he was sitting against, staring at him completely gobsmacked.

"Yep." Was all he said to him as Benjen shook his head, speechless.

He eventually cleared his throat, still shaking his head in disbelief "I have so many questions." He said.

And he answered them to the best of his ability. When they were done, his uncle groaned and rubbed his face with his hands "It all makes too much sense, I can't believe him." He seemed to say to himself.

He shook his head "Eh? Him? Who's him?" He asked.

"Your...father. FUCK!" His uncle yelled as he smashed his fist into the icy snow they were sat on. "What the fuck was he thinking?" He said, again seemingly asking himself.

Jon was annoyed. He didn't like it when people were vague around him, it made him feel like an idiot and that just pissed him off.

"Are you gonna tell me what it is he's apparently done or should I just leave?" He asked annoyingly.

His uncle nodded "You're a very dangerous man, Jon. In more ways than one." He said. "It all makes sense why he wouldn't tell you who your mother was." he finished.

"Enlighten me, this conversation is starting to grate on my nerves uncle." He said as he stared rolling balls of snow into his palm and crushing them.

He sighed "I understand why your father has kept this information from you." His uncle said.

He'd had enough.

He rose to his feet in a flash "I'm leaving. I've had enough of it from him, I don't need it from you as well. The secrecy is beyond infuriating at this point." He growled out.

"Jon wait!" Benjen said as he reached for his arm "Sit back down and let me speak." He said.

"Will this conversation lead to answers? I'm sick to the back teeth with people playing with my life like some sick form of entertainment." He said.

"I hope so." His uncle answered. He huffed, begrudgingly nodded and slowly sat back down, folding his arms and staring at Benjen emotionless.

His uncle sighed "I'm not one hundred percent confident because for that I'd need to hear it from Ned myself, but with everything that has been said, it makes too much sense." He said.

"You said that dragon of yours seems to think that you've got some valyrian blood in your system, that she can sense it?" He said. Jon just nodded.

"And you...you can ride this dragon as well? Which is still mad to think about on its own." Benjen asked. Again, Jon nodded. He didn't want to speak, hopefully it would get him somewhere.

Benjen sighed "When I suggested meeting with Aemon, it was partly to meet him but mainly to test something. I needed to see if he could recognise any of your features, and if his reaction was anything to go by, he did." He said.

He looked at his uncle in confusion "That doesn't make any sense, I've never met the man before." He said.

"It's no secret that you're easy on the eyes lad, some of those features you didn't get from your Stark blood." He said "Aemon seemed to recognise those features instantly."

He shook his head "Wait, what are you tryin to say? That I'm somehow related to the old maester? That he recognised some of my features cos I share them with somebody from his family?" he asked.

He shook his head as waited for an answer "It doesn't make sense, it doesn't add up at all." He finished.

His uncle sighed "That wasn't even when I suspected, it was before in the hall when we were talking about your uncle Brandon and your...aunt Lyanna." He said.

Why did he pause before mentioning aunt Lyanna ?

Jon now was looking at him intently, he felt like he was on the cusp of something...he also felt dread for some reason.

"You said Ned had no problem talking about your uncle Brandon didn't you?" He just nodded.

Benjen nodded as well "...but he seems to avoid talking about your aunt Lya?"

He nodded again "Practically refuses, I once saw him snap at Arya when she asked about her." He replied.

His uncle nodded then looked down "...and who else does he avoid talking about? Refuses to speak about?" He asked as he looked up at Jon with such anguish, he nearly didn't recognise him.

He thought for a moment, unaware of the connection when he finally answered "My mother."

His uncle just looked at him, clearly waiting for him to come to some sort of conclusion.

He was so lost.

He shook his head as he frowned "It doesn't make sense if you're saying my mother and aunt Lyanna are the same person, Kireina knows I've got valyrian blood, neither of them have valyrian blood." He said.

Benjen looked confused at that "Neither of them?" He asked.

"Ned and aunt Lyanna." He replied.

His uncle shook his head "I don't know how to tell you this without hurting you lad but it needs to be said since he won't tell you..." He said as he looked at him.

He just nodded for him to continue.

"I don't think Ned's your biological father."

He just blinked at him repeatedly.

What?

He shook his head in a daze "I don't under...wha..."

"And I think my sister is your biological mother." His uncle finished.

His jaw set as he refused to believe what he was saying "You need to stop, that's beyond mad what you've just fuckin said." He said as he refused to look at his uncle.

What kind of sick fucking game was attempting to play here?

He buried his head in his hands and shut his eyes, he hated that it wasn't as farfetched as he wished it was. Everything his uncle was saying sort of made sense but he just couldn't believe it, the magnitude of the situation was becoming too much for him.

Was his aunt Lyanna in actual fact, his mother? If that was true then who was his fath ....

"Rhaegar..." He whispered out, mainly to himself.

"There it is." His un...yeah uncle, his uncle said as he let Jon come to the realisation himself.

His head was fucking spinning, it was too much, it all made too much sense now. He sniffed, not realising he'd started crying, his tears freezing on his face as they made their way down his cheeks, seeking refuge in the warmth of his beard.

He wishes he could find refuge somewhere warm, and alone. A place where he could break down without being watched. He was being watched right now by his uncle, a look of concern on the older man's face.

"Come here." His uncle said as he moved over to him and brought him into an embrace. He gripped his uncle tight as he buried his face in his furs and that's where he just lost his fight against his emotions as he sobbed into his uncle's shoulder, his body shook as he released all his anguish and pain. A truth bomb that had been brewing for 17 years dropped into his life, destroying what he thought was the truth and leaving behind an immeasurable mess for him.

It went through his mind, any question he'd asked his f...Lord Stark or himself could be answered when Lyanna and Rhaegar were his actual parents.

All except for one.

Why? Why did he do it? Why did he take him from his actual father? Why did he take his actual life away from him just to make him slum it as some stain on his name?

Now that was the only thing that didn't make sense...and it made him angry that there was no obvious answer to it.

"I'm gonna kill him." He whispered into his uncle's shoulder.

"Shush, don't say things like that. This needs sorting and you becoming a kinslayer won't fix anything." His uncle replied.

He broke away from the embrace and rubbed the moisture from his face with his sleeve before glaring at his uncle "Kin? That man is no kin of mine anymore." He growled.

His uncle grabbed him by the shoulders "Hey, who am I?" He asked.

He frowned "Benjen..."

"And what am I to you?" He furthered.

"My uncle." He replied.

"And Ned is my brother, my stupid brother who has monumentally fucked up, but still my brother, my kin...and yours as well whether you like it or not. The gods won't care about your excuses when they curse you for life." Benjen explained.

If he wasn't too careful, he'd be hitting him as well for being so fucking annoying.

"You have to play this smart Jon, keep a level head. I can't imagine what is going through your head at the moment, probably all the different ways you want to hurt Ned but the most important thing is not to lose your head. What you know now could start a war and kill thousands, you don't want that, none of us want that."

He looked at his uncle "I just want to know why he did it. What possessed him to do such a thing?" He asked.

Benjen just shook his head "I don't know Jon, I've been asking myself that the moment I suspected."

He ran his hand through his hair "How the fuck am I supposed to go back there and look that man in the eyes without wanting to rip them from his fucking head?" He asked.

He let out a humourless laugh "Hell, how am I supposed to look at my brothers and sisters who are actually my cousins the same ever again?" He said sadly. He'd just lost 5 siblings like a click of his fingers.

His uncle shook his head "They're still your siblings, that won't change, they won't let it, I'm certain." He said with determination.

"Hope your right, I don't think I could handle losing them." He said.

"You'll be fine, trust me." Benjen replied, he just nodded. He was too tired to argue anymore, he was well and truly spent, physically and emotionally.

They been up at the top of the wall for longer than they realised, the night had well and truly taken over and so too had the even colder air.

"Think I'd like to go to my room now, uncle." Was all he said as Benjen just nodded.

"You sure you don't want owt to eat?" He asked as they made their way back to the lift.

He shook his head "Nah, think I just want to be alone for now. I'll probably fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow." He tried to jape.

There was no way that was gonna happen, his mind was going a mile a minute even now.

His uncle sighed as they entered the lift "Alright." He said.

The entire journey down to the bottom was spent in silence, he could see Benjen eyeing him from the corner of his eye but he just didn't care anymore, he just wanted his bed. He wanted the day to be over.

The lift came to an abrupt stop and his uncle opened up the gate, he saw the old Lord Commander waiting for them just up ahead.

"Thought you'd fallen off up there." He japed, Jon gave a very forced smile.

"We were just catching up, it's been a long time." His uncle thankfully intervened, he really didn't have the heart or the patience for a conversation with this man right now.

"I was just about to show Jon to his room, the travel was long and hard and I think he just wants to rest." His uncle asked as he looked at Jeor.

"No supper? You look like a growing lad who hasn't missed a meal your whole life." Jeor japed again.

"You'd be surprised how much I've missed in life." He answered back without a second thought. Jeor just looked at him oddly.

Benjen cleared his throat "Do you know what room Satin sorted out for him?" His uncle asked, diffusing the situation.

The old commander grunted "Aye, we've sorted him a room out in the King's Tower, I'll get Satin to escort him." He said.

His uncle shook his head "No its fine, I'll show him and make sure he's settled for the night. Lord Commander." He said as he nodded to the man and ushered him towards what he guessed was the King's Tower.

"Thanks." He said to Benjen as they made their way there "I really haven't got it in me to have a normal conversation with somebody right now." He said. His uncle shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, a good night's sleep will do wonders for you tonight, then tomorrow we can talk some more. Maybe even have another little chat with maester Aemon hmm?" He said as they reached the tower and headed up the stairs to the rooms.

"This one's yours." His uncle pointed out as he opened the door to a room with a decent looking bed despite where he was and a roaring fire.

"Thanks again uncle." He replied as he dropped all his stuff, including his swords on the chair at the side of the room.

"You're welcome." He said as he pulled him into another hug, he sighed against the older man's shoulder.

"We're gonna sort this out Jon, you hear me?" His uncle said.

He didn't reply, he wasn't sure anything would be sorted out after today.

"Go on." Benjen said as he pushed him away and towards the bed "Get out of those furs and get under these ones." he said as he lifted the furs off the bed for him to get into.

"I'll see you in the morning lad." His uncle said as he gave him a sad smile, he returned it as he nodded.

"Night uncle." He said.

"Goodnight Jon." He replied as he slowly closed the door behind him as he left the room.

He let out the deep sigh he'd been holding in for a while now and stripped down to his smallclothes, putting his clothes on the chair with the rest of belongings.

He let out another sigh as he laid down in the foreign bed, readjusting to find a comfortable spot.

He laid on his side and closed his eyes, attempting to empty his mind of any thoughts so he could get the rest he really needed right now.

"Are you alright Jon?" Kireina asked through their bond. It hadn't been long since he'd last seen her but he missed her dearly right now. He was touched at her concern.

"I don't know." He sniffed as he let the tears flow again.

He finally drifted off to sleep, first he dreamt of the mother he would never see, hear or touch.

And then he was dreaming of flying through the night sky, looking down at the north below him, realising that nothing would ever be the same again.