chapter 21

On a nice day in November, Randy and Lucy Carmichael brought a small, portable TV with a preview of a parade in Manhattan from last Thanksgiving playing. "Wow, Harper !" said Sarah  DeVille, "Being chosen to sing in the Gracy's Day Parade in New York City! This is big!"

"Bigger than big!" Kiawe DeVille agreed.

"This is as big as Dummi Bear's head from last year's parade!" Mallow  chimed in. On the TV, the bear balloon was slightly wedged in between two buildings from its massive size.

"Sometimes I can't believe it," Harper  Carmichael remarked, "I am representing the American Cheese Council!" She breathed deeply in an attempt to keep her cool. "Did you know cheese represents .02% of our national product?" As she talked, Angelica Pickles was filing her nails indifferently with a jealous scowl.

"Uh no," Sophocles Pickles replied.

"Really?" Sarah  said, now sounding bored.

"Interesting," Kiawe replied.

"Did you know that, Angelica?" lana  asked the blonde.

Angelica gave the Asian girl an innocent smile. "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. I was just admiring my cuticles. Aren't they lovely?" When she put her fingers out, she spilled a latte on Harper 's lap. "Oops."

"You did that on purpose!" lana glared at her.

"Did what?"

"I wish you guys could come to New York City, and cheer me on," Harper  remarked as she cleaned her shirt and jeans.

"New York City?" Angelica smiled with ecstacy, "That sure would take the sting out of narrowly missing the chances to sing in the parade."

"Narrowly?" Harper  said, "You didn't even make it past the first audition." Angelica then spilled another drink on her lap, making Harper  stand up and glare at her.

"Were you talking to me?"

"Might as well forget New York," lana frowned sadly, "No way that's happening."

"Take the kids to New York City?" Charlotte Pickles exclaimed at another table with Lucy, Didi Pickles, Betty DeVille, and Kira .

"Why not? We're not using the plane tickets the parade gave us," Lucy told them.

"But it still wouldn't cover all of us going," Kira pointed out.

"What if it was just the moms and kids?" Didi suggested, "This could be our last chance to bond with our adorable children before they turn to sulking, blood-sucking ciphers." They looked at the kids, before Betty spoke up.

"Well, if it's a bonding experience you want, why fly? Why not see the country the way I did? From the road!"

"That's a great idea, Betty," Lucy smiled, "We can drive cross-country."

"You in, Charlotte?" Betty asked the blonde woman.

"Ha! You kidding? I haven't driven cross-country since I was a college gal!"

Betty then came up to the kids with the rest of the moms behind her. "Guess what? We just decided to take all of you to New York City to see Harper  sing!" All the kids cheered with joy, even Angelica.

"What's going on?" Ash Pickles asked them as he walked in the cafe, from a date with his girlfriend Rachel.

"We're all going to se the Gracy Day parade!" Mallow told him with excitement.

"No way!" Ash smiled with estacy, "That's wicked awesome!" He turned to the mothers. "So how're we getting there? First class airfare?"

"Staying in swanky hotels?" Sarah  asked them.

"Better!" Betty said, "We're takin' an RV!" The kids' smiles and excitement faded away quickly.

"You've gotta be kidding," Angelica deadpanned after a couple seconds of silence.

"Just you and your mothers for a whole week!" Didi exclaimed as she smoothed Ash's purple hair down, again.

"Wicked," Ash smiled nervously.

"Cheese!" Harper  smiled. Lucy took a picture of the kids, who all had uncomfortable smiles except Angelica, who was scowling again.

"Um, c-can I invite another friend to come with us?" Mallow timidly requested, "One more can't hurt, right?"

"I think I know who you're talking about," Betty smiled cheekily at him, "That new lillie  girl at your school, right?"

"Y-yeah," He nodded.

"You guys sure are close for being "just friends"," lana used air quotes.

"What can I say?" Mallow shrugged, "She's a wonderful girl." He turned to the mothers. "So, may I invite her?"

"Sure," Kira smiled.

"You surely can," Betty assured him, "Just keep the romance to a minimum, okay?" She teased him.

"There's no romance between us!" Mallow blushed in embarrassment, "We're just good friends!"

"Oh, I'm just playin' with ya," Betty laughed, "No need to be embarrassed. Just pop the questioning to her, and hope she'll say yes."

"I will," Mallow nodded, oblivious to how she said it.

Later before dinner, he walked to the Tuck residence, and knocked on the door. He heard light footsteps walk up, before the door was opened, revealing lillie  Tuck herself. She was wearing black capri pajama pants, a black Akumu Ink "Delectable Tea Party" t-shirt, a matching hoodie with the same design on the back, black, white and red tuxedo socks that reached her mid-calves, black barbells in her pointy ears, and a red extension in her long, black hair, where her long bangs covered her left eye. "Oh, hi Mallow," She smiled at him, "What's up?"

"Um, well I uh," Mallow stuttered; Although they were just friends, she was the prettiest girl in their school in his eyes. He usually got a little tongue-tied when she was around.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I-I'm fine," He assured her, "It's just uh... my friends and I, and our mothers, are going to watch Harper  sing in the Gracy's Thanksgiving Day parade, in person."

"Whoa, really?" Her eyes widened, "That's awesome! My family and I watch the parade on TV every year! You're so lucky!"

"Thanks," He smiled timidly, "And you can be too; You want to come with us?"

"Really?" Her jaw dropped a bit, revealing the braces on her teeth, "Oh, that'd be wicked awesome! I'll ask my parents! Come on in!" After opening the door further to let the redhead enter the house, the emo girl rushed in the living room. "Mom! Dad! Mallow invited me to go with him and his friends to the Gracy's Day parade in Manhattan! Can I go, please?"

"I don't know," Mallow heard her father, Friar Tuck from the living room, "New York City?"

"I'll be extra careful, I promise!"

Mallow decided to intervene, so he walked in the living room. "We'll take very good care of her," He assured her parents, and her older sister, "I promise. So, can she go with us?"

"Hmm, well..." Friar Tuck still looked hesitant.

"Isn't Manhattan dangerous?" Felicia Tuck wondered aloud.

"I'll protect her from anything and everything," Mallow told them, "No matter the cost."

"We can't let her miss this opportunity," 12-year-old Frankie Tuck chimed in, "She's always wanted to see the parade in person, ever since we were little."

"Our moms will be with us," Mallow told them, "She'll be alright, I promise." He saw that lillie  had a pleading look on her face.

"Well..." Friar Tuck then made his decision. "Alright, she can go." Felicia nodded in agreement.

"Yay!'' Lillie  gasped and cheered, before she jumped on Mallow in a huge hug from excitement. "Thanks, guys!" She smiled to her parents as Mallow supported her with his arms and hands, "This'll be the greatest Thanksgiving ever!" She then jumped on the floor on her feet. "I'll go pack up now!" She dashed up to her room upstairs like the Road Runner in ecstacy.

"Guys, I-I'm glad you're letting her do this," Mallow didn't know what else to say.

"Just take good care of my baby sister, ," Frankie told him, before she giggled. "That rhymes, sort of. But still, if she's hurt in any way when you're back home, I'm going to kick your butt."

"D-deal," He stuttered nervously. "Tomorrow, we're going to search for an RV to rent for the trip."

"You're going in an RV?" Frankie asked them, "That's neat."

"I guess," He shrugged, "We'll be gone for a week. I'll go tell lillie ." He walked up the stairs, and saw the emo girl organizing some necessities clothes in her backpack and suitcase. Surprisingly, the former wasn't the one she always used in school. "Hey lillie ?"

She stopped, and looked up at him. "What's up?"

"I just thought I'd let you know that we'll be gone for a week," He told her.

Her eyes widened again. "Whoa, really? How're we getting there?"

"Tomorrow, we're going to browse RVs."

"An RV? That's awesome! I've always wanted to travel in one!"

"Cool," He smiled, "I'll uh, I'll let you pack up. I need to get home for dinner."

"Okay," She nodded, "Bye Mallow!"

"Bye, lillie ."

The next day, lillie  prepared herself for RV shopping. She changed into a black sleeveless playdress with a hot pink Evil Cupcakes skirt, a black short-sleeved hoodie, black and neon pink argyle knee-high socks, black knee-high sneakers with pink laces, black bow earrings, a pink extension, and a large, pink pleather bow in her hair. "Okay, I'll be with my friends! I'll be back when we're done browsing!" She called out to her parents and sister on her way out the door as she grabbed her handbag. After around a minute, her ride came so she sat in the back with Mallow and Ash. "How come you guys are so mopey? RVs are awesome! I've always wanted to travel in one!"

"At least one of you is enthusiastic," Betty remarked, "RVs are the most convenient ways to travel cross-country. It's cheaper for one thing."

"Yeah, that is true," Ash shrugged.

"She does have a point," Mallow said, "We won't have to pay for all those hotels."

When around a minute or two of driving passed, they arrived at "Cascabe Supreme", the RV lot. After a short while of searching, they saw a large, orange and yellow one called the "Cascade Supreme." Once inside, Ash and Mallow were sitting on a two-passenger recliner with an air conditioner blowing on them. "Sweet," Ash remarked as the rest of the kids were exploring the RV. Kiawe looked in the refrigerator as Sarah  spotted a mysterious door.

"Guys! The bathroon has a spa tub!" lana exclaimed from the bathroom, sliding down in the spa tub in relaxation.

"I am finally beginning to understand the pioneers' spirit," Mallow remarked as he turned an overhead AC on and off.

"What's this do?" lillie  wondered aloud as she pressed a switch under the microwave. To Ash and Mallow's surprise, the section they were in moved back, a TV came down from the ceiling, small doors opened from one wall to reveal DVD players, the door that caught Sarah 's interest came down to the floor, revealing a bed, and two tubes came up, popping a piece of candy out of each of them on the two pillows. In the bathroom, a safe fire brewed up in the fireplace, the microwave turned on, and a soda popped out of the arm of Mallow's seat, so Kiawe caught it.

"Whoa!" They all exclaimed in awe.

"This is the greatest RV ever!" lillie  smiled, "We should rent this one!"

In the driver's seat, Sophocles was viewing the security cameras, from where they saw their mothers outside. "Check it out; We can see where we're going, and where we've been to at the same time!" Sophocles pointed out to Angelica, who was lounging in the passenger seat. "I've been training myself to do that for over a year!" He then made his eyes lopsided to do so, but he wasn't able to fix his eyes. "Uh, Angelica?" She slapped him on the back of his head, so he was cured. "Thanks. Y'know, I'm kind of surprised you wanted to come on this trip," He then remarked to her, "What with Harper  getting some televised facetime, while you're still being basically, I dunno, a nobody."

"Please Sophocles, Harper  is my friend," Angelica claimed, "And I'd feel terrible if something awful prevented her from performing in the parade." All the while, Sophocles was switching between security cameras from front to back. Angelica then got an idea; When somebody stopped at the door, she swung it open, assuming it was Harper . But when she looked, it was actually Charlotte! "I thought you were...!" She was about to say when she saw Harper  glaring at her. "Never mind."

"Okay, show's over," Betty helped Charlotte stand up, "Let's get goin'. We're going to have an early start tomorrow. And I mean early!"

The next morning, lillie  struggled to keep her eyes open as Friar Tuck drove her to Ash's house, where the trip would officially start. She slumped down so her face was in her lap, and she assumed that she dozed off right then and there. "Uh, lillie ?" Her father's voice startled her out of her slumber.

"I didn't do it!" She exclaimed as she shot up.

He chuckled amusedly as she fixed her glasses. "Sorry about that, kiddo; You can sleep along the way."

"O-okay," She yawned, while rubbing her eyes as they burned slightly from fatigue. Her backpack and suitcase were in the seat next to her, filled up with necessities for the trip: Changes of clothes and jewelry, hair accessories, toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas, underwear, hair brush, hair extensions, a blanket, and don't laugh, a toy or two. She set her backpack in her lap, and before long, she was out like a light again.

"lillie ?"

"Oh!" She yelped, shooting up again, "S-sorry."

"Don't be, it's understandable," He assured her, "I'm not exactly alert myself." He then slowed to a stop in front of the Pickles house. "Good thing we're here." Stifling a yawn, she unbuckled herself, slung her bag on her back, grabbed her suitcase's handle, and stumbled out of the car.

"Well, here's my stop," She said awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"I wonder where the others are," He remarked.

"Probably inside," She yawned. A second later, the garage door opened and the gang sans Ash, who was at a different car with Rachel, walked out yawning, trying to keep their eyes open and carrying their necessities for the trip. The mothers, who were surprisingly wide awake, followed them as Lucy's cell phone rang. An exhausted Stu clad in his pajamas waved goodbye to them, before he walked back in the house.

"Woo-hoo!" Lucy cheered, before she hung up and turned to the others. "That was Betty, everyone; She's on her way with the RV right now!" Meanwhile, Sarah  and lana were dozing off while sitting on the latter's large, green suitcase with Sarah 's head on lana's.

"You be careful, sweetheart," Friar Tuck told lillie , who gazed tiredly at him, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I will," She smiled sleepily, before they shared an embrace. "I'll see you in a week."

"Alright," He nodded, heading back to the car, "And we hope to see you on TV." With that, he entered the vehicle and drove off.

After she watched him go, she walked to her friends. More specifically, Mallow. "Hi Chuck," She greeted him.

He looked to her, his eyes barely open. "H-hi lillie ," He smiled sleepily at her, "Glad you could make it." She was wearing a Batman reveal tuxedo t-shirt, a black tutu skirt with a faux leather waistband, graveyard faux thigh high tights (although the nude color was different from her skin's), black hi-top sneakers that almost reached her knees, black star earrings, and a yellow extension. He smiled internally at her Kuromi backpack that held some of her stuff. Although he wasn't that much into Japanese culture, he did think that Kuromi was like lillie ; Dark-looking, but cute on the inside. And outside. She also had a black rolling suitcase with white Hello Kitty heads, bows, and signatures all over. He was surprised that she wasn't best friends with lana instead of him; He could imagine them bonding over their love for Japanese icons.

"Ash! Did you go to the little boy's room?" lillie  snapped awake when she heard Didi's voice. "We're leaving." After Ash cringed in embarrassment, Rachel kissed him on the lips, before she went in her car. we are through he hade tears in his eyes

"Did you see that?" Mallow asked lillie  in surprise, "Did you?" She nodded tiredly. "She kissed him! On the mouth, and everything!"

"Mm hmm," She mumbled.

"But I'm 13 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days older than Ash, and no girl's ever planted one on me. It's never gonna happen for me, lillie ." He walked away from her sadly. "No girl's ever gonna wanna kiss me."

"You don't know that," She laid a hand on his shoulder in assurance, "This is a big country! I'm sure somewhere out there, there's a girl who finds you freakishly attractive."

"You think?" He smiled at her.

"Uh huh," She nodded, "Who knows? Maybe that girl lives in this very town." She moved her hand to his other shoulder, and her left to his chest.

"Hmm, maybe," He pondered on the possibility, making her smile with hope, "But I don't think Angelica is into me that way." Her eyes widened at that. "And I'm not into her either." He looked up when he along with the others heard a strange vehicle drive up clunkily. He walked back to the others as she stayed in place; She scowled and groaned at his cluelessness before she followed him. The group saw Betty drive the RV up, but to the kids' confusion, it wasn't the one they had explored yesterday. This one was green, and looked beaten up. Some small parts even fell off along the way.

Betty tried to roll her window down, but strangely, it stayed more than halfway up. "Feast your sockets on the Itex American Cruise Deluxe!"

"What happened to the nice, tasteful Cascade Supreme?" Lucy asked her.

Betty finally pushed her window the rest of the way down, before quickly regaining her composure. "Sold out. Besides, I got twice the size, for half the price! Especially for Mallow's little date."

"Oh, we're not..." lillie  was about to protest.

"Oh, I'm just teasin' you, lillie ster." As the kids headed for the door, Angelica and Harper  saw the right headlight pop out and hang by a wire. When Ash attempted to open the door, the knob came off in his hand, so he opened it with where the knob used to be. They were greeted by tattered furniture, "Come on in! Oh, and don't worry about that moldy bathin' suit smell; She'll air out." The kids plugged their noses at the awful scent as they entered the vehicle.

"Um, well, it is roomy," Mallow remarked as lillie  stood next to him on the stairs.

"Yeah," Sarah  agreed, "It-it'll still be fun." To her surprise, her foot sank in the floor!

"Guys?" Kiawe called out from outside, "Did you see this?" They looked, and saw that where the words were, most of the letters had fallen off. The only ones unintentionally left spelled out "I am crud."

"I am crud?" Mallow quoted it with confusion. A couple of boys riding by stopped, and laughed at the vehicle, before they rode away, throwing a newspaper to Sophocles, who caught it. But then, the bumper fell off right under him, so he fell with it.

they all got in and were off

Later that day, the RV was going along a busy highway. "Ah, the open road!" Betty exclaimed as she drove the vehicle.

"According to Lipschitz, this could be our last great bonding experience with the kids, Betty," Didi pointed out, "I don't want to miss one natural wonder or cultural highlight."

"Ah, just as long as we make good time, we got a whole country to cross in 5 days."

"My, that is a lot of driving."

"That's why I brought along my own personal blend of beans," Betty patted a bag of coffee beans, "I call it Betty Blast. Couple swigs of this, and I'm good to go!" She looked up when Kira groaned in agony.

"Betty, I'm not feeling so good," She told her, with an arm on her stomach, "I think it was that burrito we had for lunch."

"Nonsense; You always find the best roadside chow in diner/car washes." At that, Kira rushed in the bathroom, and emptied her stomach.

"I'll be sure to write that down," Charlotte remarked.

The kids were doing their own thing as the hours seemed to drag on; Ash was playing with his video camera, Kiawe and lana were playing cards, Sophocles was gazing out the window, Harper  was strumming her guitar, and Mallow was simply moping. lillie  was sitting next to him, simply holding a blue Tokidoki Mermicorno figure on the table. She was feeling mopey as well, but for a different reason; Why couldn't Mallow see how she felt about him? She gave him hints that anyone could understand! they asked were ash was lana said she would go look for him she went in to the bedroom and found him with his head in a pillow she went up to the ladder that lead to the bed then said what is wrong with you you can tell me anything he said Rachel dumped me she said so that is way you are sad he said yes now can you live me alone she said no I'm gonna stay in here with you and keep you company and our letter to parents or looking for them Didi went to the bedroom and saw them asleep in the same bed

back in at the tabal

"Sarah , are you gonna dribble that ball all the way to New York City?" Kiawe asked his sister with annoyance.

"Uh huh," She replied, "87. I'm going for the book of world records. All I have to do is keep this ball off the ground, and Alvin Freemont's 1998 Sydney to Melbourne record is dust." She headed for a different area in the RV as the others watched her

"Oh, it's not so bad," lillie  remarked, "Doesn't excessive screen time give you guys headaches? I get them. Besides," She turned to the window, "How often do we get to see the world right before our eyes?"

"You've got a point there," Sophocles agreed.

Meanwhile, Angelica witnessed Harper  practicing her song in the bedroom. Kira came out of the bathroom feeling better, but when she heard Harper 's song, which was about cheese, she ran back in the bathroom. "Talk about mind numbing," Angelica remarked.

"Boy, are you guys sticks in the mud," Sophocles remarked about his brother, the twins, and the  siblings, "This trip's gonna be epic. You wanna know why? Because this is the south west, my friend. Home of UFO crashes, nuclear test sites, frozen alien bodies hidden in government hangers. And well, with all my missing socks, we are talking the freaky capital of the freaky world! Then I say... look, Bigfoot!" The others looked out the window, and saw that Sophocles was actually incorrect about the last part.

"Uh, Sophocles? That's just a really hairy guy with his shirt off," lillie  pointed out in disgust. Kira had come out again, yet ran back in the bathroom upon hearing the emo girl's comment.

"Sophocles's right," Ash said to them all, "I'm getting down on this trip before we've even started." He then turned to his camera. "Hey, look what I pulled off the 'net." He gave a sheet of paper to lana.

"The 100 most upchuckingest thrill rides in America?" lana read the title out loud, as the others looked interested.

"And we'll be passing at least half of them," Ash informed his friends. All of a sudden, the RV screeched to a stop, so he fell back on the couch.

"Okay everybody, first stop," Didi announced to the group.

"Where is it, Mom?" Ash asked her, "Crazy Canyons?"

"Whiplash Willows?" Mallow chimed in.

"An empty restroom?" lillie  asked sheepishly.

"Even better! Welcome to Clifford, California; Onion capital of the west!"

The kids were bored out of their minds, as they were dragged on a tour in an onion museum, with a tour guide who sounded as bored as they were, if not more so. "It's the onions, right?" Sarah  asked her twin brother when he was sniffling with tears in his eyes.

"No," Kiawe replied, "I'm just bored to tears!"

The tour group then headed for the gift shop. "Don't touch anything, kids," Didi told them; She swung her purse on her shoulder, and accidentally knocked over a mountain of onions, before all of them went down. The group exited the gift shop, as they all sniffled from the onion smell permeating the air.

After Mallow, lillie , and Kiawe exited, Mallow spotted an attractive girl standing by herself next to a car. "Watch the  magic at work," He smiled to his friends before he walked to the girl. lillie  furrowed her eyebrows as a feeling of... something filled her up. "Hi."

"Hi," The girl greeted him back.

"Have you been eating onions?" He asked her. Now offended, she slapped him and walked away angrily. "Ow," He laid a hand on his now aching cheek. lillie  facepalmed at the whole scene.

"Okay everybody," Lucy got their attention, "Photo op!" The dull tour guide went to take a picture of the group in front of the "World's Biggest Onion" sign.

As the guide slowly counted, Kiawe grabbed something from the concrete. "Hey, look! A flattened lizard!"

"Eww!" lillie  grimaced, as Kira rushed away to the restroom. Just then, the photo was taken; It showed Kira running off, Didi smoothing Ash's hair, and lillie  making a grossed-out face.

On their next stop, they looked at the World's Widest Christmas Tree. In a photo op with the group, Kira had rushed to the bathroom yet again. "Sophocles, don't touch," Didi scolded Sophocles when he grabbed an ornament off the tree. She put the ornament back, but the rest of them, along with the lights had fallen off, followed by the pine needles, and the star.

"Isn't it wonderful how well our girls are getting along?" Lucy asked Charlotte.

"I know!" The blonde woman smiled, "Angelica hasn't shown one hand of jealousy about the parade."

In the restroom, Harper  entered one of the stalls, initially unaware that Angelica was watching her. Angelica sneaked over, and used a broom to keep the door closed, but Harper  saw her. So she sneaked out of the stall and out of the bathroom, locking the door from the outside in an act of revenge. "Hey! Harper , you locked the door!" Outside, Harper  barricaded the door with a trashcan. "Harper ? Harper ?" Outside, the RV drove off, unknowingly without her. "Harper ?"

Their next stop was the world's biggest ball of string. "486, 487," Sarah  counted her ball dribbles as the group boarded the RV again. "488, 489..."

Ash saw a man bungee-jumping from a crane a distance away. "Hey Mom, why can't we go do that?"

"You'll hurt yourself," Didi replied as she brushed dirt off his shirt.

"Besides, you can do cheap thrill rides anywhere," Betty told him, "Where else but in Needlestone Nevada could you have seen the world's biggest ball of string?" As she boarded the RV, Didi unknowingly had the end of the string ball on her shoe, so the door closed on it. When they drove off, the string ball went with them, before it completely unraveled. The two guys in charge of the exhibit stood in terror, before one of them started raveling.

That night, the kids were planning on sleeping in a large tent, while the mothers slept in the vehicle. Clad in their pajamas, the boys and Sarah  were preparing their sleeping bags for the night. lillie  had accidentally forgotten hers, so Mallow allowed her to sleep in his with him. She was wearing a black sleep camisole, black sleep leggings with white polka dots, pink and black Victoria's Secret ankle socks, and black barbells in her ears. Her hair was extension-free.

Ash was simply looking into his video camera again. "It's official; This trip is a bust," He remarked.

"Four hours in the Museum of Mayonnaise," Sarah  agreed, kicking her soccer ball while laying on her sleeping bag. "When do we get to do what we wanna do?"

Kiawe was naming off weird things as he rummaged through his backpack. "What is that?" lillie  asked him in disgust.

"My collection," He replied, "I'm so bored, I'm exploring my interests as a budding naturalist... or a chef." He held a wiggling tail up to her face.

"Ew!" She exclaimed, quickly crawling away from Kiawe and to Mallow.

"What is it with moms, anyway?" Ash wondered aloud, "Why do they have to be all over us, all the time?"

"Yeah, what's with all these photographs?" Mallow agreed.

"Memories?" lillie  shrugged timidly.

"And the "don't touch anything"s?" Sarah  used air quotes.

"And why are they always coming at you with their spit?" Ash wondered aloud, "On your face, in your hair."

"I'd get grounded for spitting on someone's hair," Kiawe remarked.

"When's my mom going to realize that I'm grown up?"

"I dunno," Sophocles chimed in after a couple seconds of silence, "I kinda like it when Mom wipes my face with a saliva soaked tissue. It's like a warm, wet "I love you."" The others stared at him at the last thing.

They looked towards the door when it was zipped open, revealing lana outside. "I was over at the bathrooms, and guess what I found digging in the garbage?"

"Hey, I was here the whole time!" Kiawe exclaimed.

Turned out, lana found a small, brown and white dog! "I went to every campsite, and no one knew him. He must be abandoned."

"Mom said you can keep him?" Mallow asked her in surprise.

"No way," She shook her head, "So I figured I'll sneak him in."

"Oh boy," lillie  mumbled, while fiddling with a plushie she had in her lap.

lana turned to the dog. "Come on, Pumpkin." She crawled in the tent and laid on her sleeping bag as the dog followed her.

"Well, one good thing: We're out in the fresh air, and not stuck in the crudinator," Sarah  pointed out, and everyone agreed with her as they started settling down to sleep. Sarah  then kicked her soccer ball in the basket on the tent to continue her mission tomorrow. Since the tent was filled up with everyone, almost, lillie  laid on top of Mallow, and to her relief, he didn't protest. She was light anyway. As they drifted off to sleep, a new problem came along: Bugs. After having to smack themselves at least a hundred times, they decided to forget about sleeping in fresh air; After the door was pulled open, they sleepily walked out of the tent. The order was Sarah , Ash, Sophocles, Mallow, lillie , Kiawe and lana with Pumpkin.

In the bedroom, lana  tried to find a good bed to sleep on, but all of them seemed to be taken. None of them seemed to want a bedmate. "lana ." She looked up, and saw ash sitting on the bunk on the right side of the room, on the top. "Come on up; You can sleep here with me," He whispered to her.

"Thanks," She smiled up at him. she climbed up the ladder and laid on the mattress, remembering to make room for her best friend. "Night, ash."

"Night, lana." She giggled at his rhyme, before drifting off to sleep. ash smiled when she hugged her toy to her face and neck. It was Kuromi as a baby in a black cradle. It was adorable, just like her

The next morning, Betty was the first to wake up. "Up and at- Ohh! Mother of mayhem!" The rest of the mothers woke up to Pumpkin making a huge mess in the RV. Kiawe opened the door to the bedroom, and the kids saw what had happened. Mallow was staying on the bed, as lillie  was still peacefully asleep.

Just then, the dog grabbed Kiawe's backpack in his mouth. "Ah! My collection!" The brunette boy yelled, before he engaged in a tug-of-war with Pumpkin. "Give it, you little fleabag!" Soon enough, Pumpkin let go of the bag, as Kiawe sat on the counter away from him. Kira looked to lana, who giggled nervously as the others stepped out.

Mallow looked to lillie , who was still out like a light. "Um, lillie ?" He gently shook her shoulder, "It's time to wake up."

"Hmm?" She looked up at him with her eyes drooping. "O-oh." She yawned and rubbed the fatigue out of her eyes. "M-morning."

"Morning, Tuck."

Once she was alone, she changed into a regular outfit for the day. Betty had started driving while she was changing, but she kept her balance.

"Because of this morning's dog mishap, we're a little behind schedule," Didi told the kids, "So I've mapped out a tour of the world's most amazing natural wonders you'll ever see." She laid a map on the table the kids were sitting at.

"You'll all have precisely six minutes at each stop, or I'm takin' off without ya," Betty warned them.

Mallow blushed when he saw lillie 's outfit after she exited the bedroom; black and dark blue zebra-print skinny jeans, a simple black cropped t-shirt, a polar blue extension, a Tokidoki Mermicorno hair bow, black bow earrings, and black lace-up combat boots.

The group took photo ops at the Hoover Dam, a canyon, a Petrified area, a cave, a doughnut shop which Kira ran from sickly, and a giant fire hydrant enjoyed by Pumpkin and some other dogs. At another stop, lillie  watched from the gift shop as Mallow approached a girl on a bridge. She didn't know why she felt so weird; It wasn't like they were boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. So why did she feel so lousy? Did she actually want to be his girlfriend? "Hi uh, my name is Mallow." He sat on the rail of the bridge. "I'm uh, traveling across the..."

The girl turned around, revealing to be a middle-aged woman. "Hello, Mike."

"W'aah!" Mallow screamed in shock, "Oof!" The woman watched in concern as he fell off the bridge, and into the river. Thankfully, he wasn't hurt; lillie  and their friends helped him out of the water.

"Man, could this trip get any worse?" Ash wondered aloud. And sure enough...

"Look what we found in the gift shop!" Betty called out, walking to the kids with Charlotte, as they wore blue caps with the bridge on them. "Matching hats!"

"Doesn't this just scream "tourist" in a tacky, yet trendy kind of way?" Charlotte remarked. They put more hats on all of the kids, lillie 's making her ears fold down.

"Oh yeah, this'll really help me with the ladies," Mallow muttered to himself. Another photo op was taken of the group, with all of them wearing the hats. They had also stopped at a giant chair sculpture, with hats that resembled it, a giant cowboy hat, and a giant silver horseshoe with matching hat, while Sophocles made a goofy face by stretching his mouth horizontally and sticking his tongue out.

Soon, they stopped at the Grand Canyon. "Ah, the Grand Canyon," Didi admired the sight, "You know Ash, it takes 4 billion years for Mother Nature to make a rock tower like that."

"And you're going to make me stand here and watch her make it, aren't ya?" Ash asked her in a deadpan.

Sarah  was feeling nervous, while still kicking her ball, as Pumpkin started growling. "lana, can you try to control that stinky little mongrel?"

"It's not my fault," said lana, "If Kiawe didn't carry around his bag of death..."

Sure enough, Pumpkin slipped out of his leash, and bit on Kiawe's backpack. "Ow!" He shot up with a yell. He fell face-down in the dirt, accidentally knocking Ash down as lana tried to control the dog. After noticing some audio coming from Ash's video camera, Kiawe took a peek. "Whoa!" He exclaimed as Ash tried to take the camera back, "I love this movie!"

"Uh oh," lillie  muttered quietly.

"Movie?" This caught Lucy's attention, "Didi, I thought the kids weren't supposed to zone out on this trip."

Didi turned to her oldest son. "Ash?"

"I downloaded a DVD," He confessed, as Kiawe continued watching, "I needed something to get my mind off Rachel dumping me

"And the Grand Canyon wouldn't do it?" Didi exclaimed, her last two words echoing.

"Not like Revenge of the Grim Comber Five," Kiawe smiled. Kira rushed to a trashcan and emptied her stomach for what seemed like the hundredth time to her.

"Nice work, Betty," Charlotte sarcastically remarked, "From now on, I pick the lunch spots."

"Oh well, look who's getting' all loaded off, fancy girl!" Betty retorted.

Harper  whistled to get everyone's attention. "Excuse me! But have you all forgotten what this trip is for?!" Her last word echoed in the canyons.

"To make you even more insufferably perfect than you are?" Angelica replied with annoyance.

"And to promote the good work of America's hard-working cheese producers!" Harper  answered her own question, ignoring Angelica's comment.

"And it was about us moms getting closer to you guys," Didi chimed in.

"Well, I'm sick of getting close," Ash decided, "I'm sick of being told what to do. And I'm sick of having a mom!" He finished with metaphorical bang. Sophocles gasped in shock as his older brother stormed away. He looked to his mother, who looked hurt and guilty.

"Maybe we should be going," Didi smiled nervously. As the group headed for the RV, Didi tossed a pebble behind her back, unknowingly causing a tower of rocks to tumble down.

That night in New Mexico, the kids sat on rocks around a campfire. "What you said to Mom, T, about you not needing her; Harsh," Sophocles remarked.

"Yeah well, wait 'til you're older," Ash retorted, "You'll understand."

"I will never understand not loving my mommy," Sophocles crossed his arms.

While no words were exchanged, a strange boy came up to them. "Hey, you guys seeing the Curtain of Tears tonight?" He asked them, "I need a ride."

"Curtain of Tears?" lana smiled with interest.

"What's that?" lillie  asked him.

"Oh man! You've never heard of it?" The kids shook their heads. "The story is: This Indian princess, Soyiani ditched out some bogus dude her dad wanted her to marry. So her tribe left her behind the Star of Death by the red rock not too far from here."

"Whoa, talk about harsh," Sophocles commented.

"They say she cried so many tears, the geyser was made in that spot," The boy continued telling the story, "Every year at midnight, it blows and you can see the princess rise in the mist, and hear her screams echoing in the rocks." The kids were incredibly intrigued. The boy then walked away from them.

"Guys, did you hear that?" Sophocles smiled with excitement, "A genuine apparitional sighting! With water feature!"

"Finally, something we wanna do," Ash remarked.

"Our moms aren't gonna let us go out in the desert alone at midnight," Sarah  pointed out.

"Oh," Kiawe frowned with disappointment, "Yeah. We might touch somethin'."

"Well, we can always sneak out after they go to sleep," Ash suggested.

"Sneak out?" lillie 's eyes widened, "I can't even sneak into the kitchen for a glass of water. The floor is too creaky, and my parents are light sleepers."

"Sneak out?" Harper  walked up to them, "What for?"

"To see a real-life dead Indian princess," lana told her. "Out in the desert."

"Sounds epic," Harper  smiled, "But I dunno if it's such a good idea. I gotta sing in New York in 4 days, and I don't even have my song down yet."

"Maybe Harper 's right," Ash sighed reluctantly, "We don't even know how to get there. We better bag it."

"Kids?" Didi walked up to them, with the other moms following from the RV.

"We want to apologize to you kids," Lucy told them.

"We haven't been listening to what you guys want to do," Didi added in.

"So tonight, we're goin' to a real southwestern fiesta!" Betty finished.

At the fiesta, the group of kids and mothers watched a Mariachi performance while sitting at a long table. "Uh huh! Show me how it's done!" Kira exclaimed as she danced to the music.

"Mom, stop it!" lana protested in embarrassment.

But soon enough, the mothers were invited on the stage, so they started dancing in front of the bands, as the kids watched in horror. "Ugh, that's it!" Ash exclaimed, "We have to get away from our moms."

"Oh boy," lillie  muttered to herself.

Later that night, the mothers were out like lights from all the fun they had at the fiesta. After Sophocles gave the signal, the kids' plan went into action; They stuffed clothes in their sleeping bags to fool their mothers into thinking they were sound asleep until they came back from the geysers. lillie  stuffed some extras in the top right bunk, so it looked like she was next to Mallow. When lana stuffed a shirt in, she grew concerned at the large lump it created. "Does that shirt make me look fat?" She quietly asked Angelica.

"I hope this works," lillie  whispered.

"Whatever is it you're dragging me into, it'd better be worth it," Angelica glared at the preteens after Kiawe opened the back window. One by one, they climbed out the window and headed for their destination. "We've been walking an hour, and I haven't seen any red rocks. You've been conned." All of a sudden, they heard a howl in the distance.

"What was that?" lillie  jumped on Mallow in fear, effectively surprising him.

"Nobody worry," Sophocles told them, "I'm on lookout." He paused, before Ash hit the back of his head to snap him out of it. "Thanks," He smiled.

"Whatever it is, it's probably checking Kiawe's bag of bones," Sarah  remarked, "I told you, you should've left that thing!"

"I did," Kiawe retorted, "But you came anyway!" Sarah  bounced her ball on his head in retaliation.

"Okay that's enough, you guys," lillie  glared at both of them, "Or we're going back."

"Who made you the boss?" Kiawe glared.

"You stop it!" Mallow glared hard at him, keeping his voice down, "Don't talk to my best friend that way!"

"I shouldn't be doing this," Harper  muttered worriedly to herself, "The entire cheese industry is counting on me."

"Yeah, I'm sure a whole economies will collapse if you don't sing about sour milk," Angelica said with sarcasm.lana said my lags heart si ash put her on his back and woked the rest of the way

The group stopped and looked down from a ledge; They saw a group of people around a campfire.

Meanwhile, Betty woke up in the RV, and looked at the road. "Would you lookee here?" She said to no one, "No traffic. Well! Time to rack up some miles!" After checking her watch, she climbed down the ladder to the floor, and drove off, completely unaware of the kids' absence. Just before the RV started moving, Pumpkin jumped out and on the road.

"9,625," Sarah  counted her ball kicks, "26, 27..."

"Hey T," Sophocles piped up, "Meet the Rogers." Triplet boys wearing alien hats and t-shirts walked up, and all said "hi" in turn. "They were cloned, and abducted by aliens! This place rocks!" Ash was skeptical of the story, but kept it to himself.

As Harper  practiced her song, Angelica was humming loudly to throw her off. "Angelica!"

At the geysers, Mallow was sitting with a girl who had short blonde hair, and braces on her teeth. "And then, you see this bicuspid?" She held her mouth open, "They had to scrape the gum three times before it was right."

"Which headgear did they give you?" Mallow asked her. "The G-Force Twister, or the Mandible Mangler?"

"Mandible Mangler."

"Ohhh. Me too," Mallow replied quietly, "Nice night."

"Yeah," She agreed. Mallow then "absentmindedly" set his hand on hers.

lillie  frowned sadly as she watched them from a distance. Why couldn't she tell him how she felt about him? Why wasn't she in that girl's place? She knew him a hundred times longer than that stranger did! It wasn't fair; Why didn't Mallow see her the way she saw him? She then saw Mallow lean towards the eager-looking stranger with his lips puckered. Tears filled her eyes as she witnessed the scene. But she flinched when a geyser suddenly shot up! She stifled giggles upon seeing Mallow jump on the girl's lap in fear. The rest of the gang watched in awe as two more geysers shot up with the first one, and they saw an apparition of a girl riding on a horse, associated with a feminine, ghostly scream. After the geysers ceased, the gang cheered happily.

"Did you see?!" Sarah  smiled with excitement.

"And the part where..." lana added.

"I know!" Ash exclaimed. "And then when the..."

"I was so close," Mallow said to Kiawe, "I could almost feel her overbite on my cheek." lillie 's excitement was replaced with depression once again, from listening to her best friend, not to mention crush, swoon over a girl he didn't even know; She teared up again, but kept it from the others.

When they came back to the parking lot, they were horrified to find it empty! "Oh no! It's gone!" Harper  yelled in despair, before they all gasped in terror.

"I don't get it! The RV was right here!" Ash exclaimed.

"Maybe my mom went to fill up the tank?" Sarah  suggested, trying to keep her cool.

"Maybe someone stole it!" Mallow said.

"The "I Am Crud"?" Angelica put her hands on her hips, "Please!"

"I think Angelica's right," lillie  blinked her tears away, "Not even Al Capone would steal that junkbox."

"Or maybe it was payback for what Ash said to Mom," Sophocles theorized, "And we've been left behind just like that Indian princess!"

"How long you think we're gonna last if we take turns lickin' this fuzzy mint?" Kiawe took a peppermint, which had hair on it, out of his pocket.

"Okay, okay, let's not get all wacked out about this," Harper  suggested, "We'll just hike over to the rangers' station. There is a perfectly good explanation for this." The gang then walked away as she stood in place. "I hope."

Meanwhile, the next day, Betty was driving the RV along the roads, still oblivious to the lower number of passengers. "Ahh, a hundred cups of blast on the wall, a hundred cups of blast!" Betty sang to herself as she drove. "Rise and shine, buttercups!" The RV stopped at a gas station with the sign for the world's largest pecan.

"Where are we?" Didi asked Betty after putting her glasses on.

"Brunswick, Missouri!"

"Not the home of the world's largest pecan!" A squirrel was biting at the exhibit outside.

"Yep, while you lazy heads were sowing Zs, I covered almost 600 miles! And you know what? I can do another thousand!" But then she fell asleep instantly, her head landing on the horn. She shot up, before leaning back in her seat.

Didi then decided to wake up the kids. "Wakey, wakey! Time for cakey!" She unzipped Ash's sleeping bag, and was shocked to see it filled with a bunch of clothes. "Ohh!" The other moms checked their childrens' sleeping bags, and found clothes in there as well. Kira screamed when she found a fish skeleton in lana's.

Betty then snapped awake. "How's my drivin'? We in Missouri yet?"

"Yes!" Lucy yelled, "But our kids are back in New Mexico!"

Betty came in the bedroom, and saw the clothes in the sleeping bags. She then took command. "Didi, man the map. Lucy, grab me a cup of joe!" She then jumped in the drivers' seat. "We're turnin' this baby around!" She tried to start the RV, but it broke down right then and there.

Meanwhile, the kids were sleeping all around in the rangers' station. Angelica were laying on the table, Sophocles was on two chairs, Ash was awake at the desk with lana in his lap asleep,Harper  was awake as well and looking extremely nervous, Sarah  was sitting in a chair, using her soccer ball for support, Mallow and Kiawe were sitting on a bench, and lillie  was on the floor by the bench, next to Mallow with her head near his legs. Mallow was smiling and mumbling in his sleep, before he unknowingly started kissing Kiawe's cheek.

"I'm sorry, Harper ," Ash said to her in a soft voiceas not to wake lana"I know you worked really hard to sing in this parade."

"Don't sweat it, Ash," She assured him, "We've still got 3 days to get to New York. I'm not worried."

"I thought you kids might be hungry," The ranger walked up with a box of bread for them, "I'm Ranger Wind Walking Little Feather, but you can call me Klaus."

"Klaus?" Harper  crossed her arms.

"Easier to program in the speed dial." He set the bread down.

"You know where our moms are?" Ash asked him.

"I sent my guys out looking for the RV," He told them, "Won't be hard to find something that butt-ugly."

"Mallow, get off me!" A now awake Kiawe griped, before he pushed the redhead away, effectively waking him up and alarming him. lillie  was snapped awake by his leg bumping her head. The phone rang as the rest of the kids woke up.

"Ranger Walking Wind Little um... Klaus here," He corrected himself, "Yes. They're right here."

He gave the phone to Ash. "Mom?"

"Ash?" Didi answered in the RV, "Oh, thank heavens you're alright! I'm sorry!"

"No, I'm sorry Mom," Ash apologized guiltily, "Where are you?" After receiving an answer, he turned to Klaus. "They're in Brunswick, Missouri!"

"Home of the world's largest pecan?"

"When're you coming back for us?" Ash asked Didi. "A couple days?! We'll never make it to New York in time for the parade!"

"Wow," Sarah  remarked sadly, "Sorry, Harper ."

"Yeah, tough break," Angelica smiled, "So, where's the nearest 4-star luxury hotel?" lillie  put her hands on her hips and shook her head in disgust.

"I'll take you over to stay with my family," Klaus offered, "I'm heading up to Raton for a big inner tribal meeting."

"Hold on, Mom," Ash said to Didi, before turning to Klaus. "Is Raton anywhere near where our moms are?"

"It's in the right direction, but you'd still have hundreds of miles," He told them with a map in his hands.

"Can we go with you?" Ash requested.

"We've gotta get Harper  to New York to sing on the cheese float in the Gracy's Day parade," lillie  explained, as the girl in question had a pleading look.

"Harper , Harper , Harper ," Angelica glared, "What will it take to kill this "can do" attitude of yours?" She looked to Ash.

"I can get you as far as Denver," Klaus told them, as Angelica groaned in exasperation.

"Mom?"

"I heard, and I'm sorry, but we can't let you travel hundreds of miles alone," Didi told him.

"You've got to!" Ash insisted, "I can't let Harper  down; I can handle this!"

Didi then made her decision. "Alright."

"Thanks," Ash smiled in relief, so the rest of the gang sans Angelica and lillie  cheered with joy. Angelica was too jealous, while lillie  was too personally depressed.

Soon, Klaus was driving a red minivan with the kids inside. Harper  was sitting shotgun, Ash, Mallow, and Angelica were in the middle row, while lana, Kiawe, and Sarah  were in the back. lillie  was squished in between Kiawe and lana from lack of a full seat for her, but she looked too mopey to care. "You have that credit card number your mom gave you to buy our tickets to Missouri?" Ash asked Mallow.

Mallow reached into his red hoodie pocket, and took out a small sheet of paper. "Here it is, as good as money, my man." Ash stashed the paper in a pouch around his neck, then zipped up his own hoodie to seal it.

"You okay, lillie ?" lana asked the emo girl, "Aren't you happy? We're going to find our moms!"

"Y-yeah, I'm happy," She nodded, "It's just... I guess I'm still a little tired." She timidly averted her gaze to her hands to avoid eye contact.

Meanwhile, Pumpkin was running after the minivan.

In Klaus' hometown, the kids enjoyed a show put on by Indians marching around a campfire, with Sophocles joining them enthusiastically. "Good news," Klaus told them, "I found ride to the Rockies that will take you to Denver. So, here." He held out a mound of clothes to them.

"What're those?" Kiawe asked him.

"Those are snowsuits," Klaus replied, giving a set to each of them, "The roads to Denver are snowed in. You are going by dogsled." Angelica looked nervous at that, while the others were enthusiastic.

And sure enough, they did just that. Ash, Kiawe, and a scared Angelica were on one sled, Mallow, Sophocles, and lillie  were on another, and Harper , Sarah , and lana were on the last one. Ash was completely oblivious to his pouch coming off, and falling in the snow with the credit card number.

Meanwhile, the mothers were at an auto shop where the RV was being repaired. "I'm beginning to think letting the pups trave hundreds of miles alone wasn't such a hot idea," Betty remarked nervously.

"Me too," Kira agreed.

"My Angelica may seem tough, but she's just a scared little girl with an inflated sense of self-entitlement," Charlotte said to Lucy, with tears in her eyes.

"What do you think, Didi?" Lucy asked the orange-haired woman.

"I think Ash was right, and Lipschitz was wrong," Didi admitted, "Sometimes you've got to give your kids space." They nodded in agreement. "We did our job right, we would've raised right, capable children."

"What do you mean you lost the credit card number?!" Angelica glared at Ash, "How're we gonna get to Minnesota?!"

"Missouri," Harper  dully corrected her.

"Whatever state our moms are in!"

"The paper must've flown out of my pocket when we were sledding," Ash guessed.

"10,463," Sarah  counted, "10..."

"Sarah !" Everyone exclaimed in annoyance.

"Sorry," She apologized, "Break." She then stopped kicking the ball, but held onto it.

"Come on, guys. We can do this!" Ash urged his friends, "You want to prove to our parents we're grown up, don't you?"

"No-o-o," Sophocles shook his head, "Right now, I'd be happy having Mom gently tuck me under the chin, and tell me everything's okay."

"Look, I picked up a map," Ash took a map out of his pocket, "Now, we're here." He pointed to Colorado.

"In that state shaped like a board game box?" Kiawe asked him.

"Colorado?" lillie  corrected the brunette boy.

"Yes," Ash nodded, "And our moms are here."

"In the state that kinda looks like a shoe?" Mallow asked him.

"Missouri?" lillie  chimed in again; She didn't know how they couldn't identify the states on a map.

"Yes," The purple-haired boy replied, "All we have to do is figure out how to get across that big, flat state between them."

"Oklahoma?" This time, the emo girl rolled her eyes.

"Don't they teach you guys geography anymore?" Harper  wondered aloud.

"I have a simpler answer," Angelica announced, "Give up. We have no money, no cell phone, and our moms are hundreds of miles away. Face it; Harper 's shot at the big time is history."

Harper  frowned miserably at that. "No! I'm not giving up!" Ash yelled in determination, before he saw something: Hot air balloons. "I have an idea."

Later, the kids were riding in hot air balloons in their reunion mission. Ash, lillie , Mallow, and Sophocles were in one with a guide, while Harper , Angelica, Kiawe, Sarah , and lana were in another with a guide. "Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore," lillie  remarked.

"Nope," Sophocles pointed down, "That's Kansas; Look." She looked, and saw a field with "Kansas" cut in it, associated with interesting crop circle designs. Ash looked behind him, and saw a terrified Mallow sit against the basket in fear. In the other balloon, Sarah  was continuing her kicking, but her ball flew out of the basket! Using quick wits and her head, she hit the ball back in the basket, and continued her mission. On the ground, Pumpkin was still going after them.

Soon enough, they were back on the ground, with the balloons tied to stakes. "That wasn't so bad," Mallow assured himself with a chuckle. But then he saw an attractive girl nearby; When she looked at him, he pulled on the string absentmindedly, but that caused the balloon to collapse on him and the basket. He tried to escape, but he was too late. lillie  didn't feel obliged to help him, and she didn't know why.

"I found a guy who said he can take us to the next town," Ash told everyone. "We can call our moms from there, get the credit card number, and arrange a ride."

In the western-like town, they stopped in a general merchandise store for help. "So, let me get this straight: You have no phones?"

"No," The store employee shook his head.

"No faxes?"

"No."

"Not even electricity?" The store had candles on the ceiling instead of light bulbs.

"What, are these people living in the 1800s?" Angelica wondered aloud.

"Yes, they're Amish," Harper  answered her, "They don't believe in modern things."

"Not even... blow dryers?!" The blonde exclaimed in horror.

"No," The employee answered her.

"What kind of nightmare is this?!"

After hearing dialogue that they didn't understand, they turned and saw a young Amish boy.

"Cha," ash replied, "Mother took a ride in the cart in Brunswick."

"Brunswick?"

The gang were confused as ash and the Amish boy were in a conversation that they didn't understand.

"You understood all that?" lana asked ash with a smile when they were done.

"Cha," He nodded, "Don't be shushly."

That night, they all slept in a thankfully quiet barn on cots. Angelica, who was wearing a sleep mask, fluffed her pillow in her slumber. Ash was still awake however, feeling guilty about what he said to Didi.

"Ash!" lana said, but was ignored, "Hey T!" He finally had his older brother's attention. "Olden the lights!" Ash turned the candle off, before he and his little brother drifted off to sleep.

Little did everyone know, lillie  was awake as well, but for a different reason: She was confused. Why did she ignore Mallow when he needed help? Usually she'd be the first one to help him from anything. So why was that time an exception? Was she mad at him for not knowing her feelings? It wasn't like he was a mind reader; He couldn't know how she felt unless she told him. But she couldn't; It would ruin their friendship, especially if the feelings weren't mutual. She wished it was easier to tell him something big like that. Deciding to worry about it tomorrow, she went to sleep.

The next morning, the kids were woken up by a crowing rooster. To Sophocles's surprise, Ash's bed was already empty. After the barn door was opened by the Amish boy, Ash came rushing in. "Guys, I got us a ride to Brunswick, Missouri!" He announced.

"Ja," The Amish man chimed in, "Big pecan."

The ride turned out to be a covered horse buggy driven by the Amish man with a young girl. Sarah , lana, Harper , and Mallow were sitting at the right side, while lillie , Kiawe, Sophocles, Angelica, and Ash were at the left. "I guess this thing doesn't have overdrive?" Ash asked the man.

"Would be plain."

Mallow noticed that the girl smiled down at him, so he fixed his hair a bit, and stood up behind her. lillie  slumped her face on her hand in anger. "So uh, Ester is it?" The girl giggled, but Mallow gasped in fear when the man held up a pitchfork. "Uh," He chuckled nervously, "I'll be sittin' back here."

"You said you'd do it, and you did it, Ash," Harper  smiled at the purple-haired boy, "Thanks."

All of a sudden, the buggy roughly hit a rock, and Sarah  fell out on the road! But she still managed to keep her soccer ball off the ground. The kids waited as the man investigated the damaged wheel. "Ooh, check it out!" Kiawe grabbed a tiny skeleton, "Genuine Amish roadkill! Alright." He stashed it in his backpack.

But then a bear came out of the woods, and towards the kids! "Kiawe?" Sarah  said in fear, "It wants your backpack!" Kiawe tried to back away, but he tripped over a rock, so he was trapped. "Kiawe, it wants your collection! Give it to him!"

But then, Pumpkin jumped out of the bushes! "Pumpkin!" lana exclaimed with joy. The puppy bravely faced the bear as Kiawe escaped with his backpack. Pumpkin attacked with random bites, before holding onto the bear's tail, so it ran in circles. Although he had fallen on the ground, the bear walked back in the woods. "Pumpkin!" The puppy jumped in lana's arms and licked her cheek joyfully as the rest of the gang gathered around Kiawe.

"I was so scared," Harper  said.

"Are you okay?" Ash asked him.

"I told you guys he was a great dog!" lana exclaimed, "He tracked us all the way, just to save us!" But then, the puppy jumped down, taking Kiawe's backpack with it, proving her last statement incorrect.

"I don't think we had anything to do with it," Harper  shook her head. Pumpkin took the Amish skeleton out with his mouth.

Later, the group were walking along a road, getting more and more exhausted along the way. Kiawe was licking the peppermint, Sarah  was bouncing her ball on her head, and Mallow was looking at a map. "Who's up?" Kiawe asked them once he was done. He held it out to lana, but she grimaced in disgust.

"Guy with the beard made it sound so easy," Sarah  remarked, "Does anybody have any idea where we are?"

"We're right here on Route 66 north," Mallow replied, before he turned it around, "Or Route 99 south?" lillie  facepalmed.

"Two words: Homeschooling," Harper  said.

"Well technically that's one word," lillie  pointed out.

A gust of chilly wind suddenly hit them. "I'm cold," lana shivered. Ash said here take my jacket and gave it to her than she said she was tired I'm tired," Sarah  stopped bouncing her ball, and held it in her arms. Ash took both of them one on one shoulder and one on the other

"I'm thirsty," Harper  added raspily.

Her ash gave her a 1 g bottle of water and put her on his shoulder the same as Sarah 

"I'm ugly!" Angelica exclaimed about her messy hair, before another gust blew by.

"I wonder what our moms are doing right now?" Ash voiced his thoughts.

"Probably worrying about us," lillie  answered.

"I bet if my mom was here, she'd have something to eat," Sarah  remarked, "They always have something to eat when we're hungry."

"

"It's the purses," Kiawe chimed in, "Moms are like, pack mules of love."

"You guys ever catch your mom sneaking into your room at night, just to watch you sleep?" Sophocles asked them, and they agreed with him. "It's creepy, but like in a good way."

"You guys ever think what it'd be like not having a mom?" Sarah  asked them.

"Been there, done that," Mallow replied solemnly.

"Me too," lillie  nodded.

"I'm sorry guys," Ash turned to them, "This mess is all my fault. I wanted to prove something, and now we'll never get Harper  to the Gracy's Day parade on time. It couldn't get any worse." But just then, with a clap of thunder, it started to rain. Ash then sat on the ground defeatedly as the group were quickly drenched. "I. Want. My. Mommy!" He finally screamed, before they all started sobbing in despair, with Harper  hugging Sophocles. Even lillie  was; Despite her knowing that Felicia was at home, she still missed her dearly.

Angelica however, stayed strong. For now. "Oh, you pre-teens are pathetic!" She then broke. "I want my mommy's... credit card!" She sobbed, as lana hugged her in comfort.

But just then, a familiar RV drove up! The kids never thought they'd cheer when seeing the "I Am Crud" until that night in Mexico. As the kids reunited with their mothers, the clouds parted to reveal the shining sun. "Oh Momma, I missed you!" Harper  kissed Lucy's cheek in joy. lillie  didn't know who to go to, so she headed for Kira; They were like a second family to her, so it felt right.

"Ash, I'm so proud of you!" Didi exclaimed after hugging Sophocles, "Look how far you came!"

"Ah, no big D," He smiled, before he broke slightly and hugged his mother.

"Okay everyone, we've still got 4 states to cover before we're going to get Harper  to the parade on time!" Betty announced, before the kids gladly entered the vehicle.

"Ah, the "I Am Crud"," Kiawe smiled, "There's no smell like home."

"Hold on, everybody! We're on Betty time now!" But as she drove, Pumpkin ran out in front of the RV!

"Pumpkin!" lana exclaimed in horror, "Look out for Pumpkin!"

In a panic, Betty swerved to avoid the puppy, but crashed into a telephone wire pole. "Is everyone okay?" Didi asked them all.

Outside, Betty had found a payphone. "You sure? Okay. Yeah." She then hung up, and headed back to the RV. "They can't get anyone out here 'til tonight," She told Lucy and Harper , "Bein' the day before Thanksgiving. It just doesn't look like we'll make it in time."

"I'm sorry honey," Lucy comforted Harper  when she started to cry, "Maybe you can get in the parade next year."

"But we worked so hard to get here," Harper  protested, "We came so close. I memorized 357 kinds of cheeses!" The kids frowned miserably as they listened to her.

Ash then went from sad to angry. "What are you people, quitters?" he glared, "I didn't ride dogsleds, balloons,  for 3 days to give up now!" he then whistled, and an onion truck stopped on cue. "We need to get to New York, and you are gonna get us there!" he commanded the driver with as much determination as he could muster up. The group gazed in surprise at his sudden selflessness. "What're you waiting for?"

"Clifford, California. Onion capital of the west," Didi read the words on the truck trailer, before they all boarded. As they rode along, the kids and mothers were sniffling and tearing up, but not from the onions.Ash said does anyone want to hear a song they all said ok he said he was going to sing this after the parade but know is a good time to he said this is for lana she looked surprised by what he said here is the song

My love for you is like the most beautiful sprout,

Your face reminds me of smart butterflies,

Together, we are like spagetti and basil.

Oh darling lana,

My beautiful sprout,

My smart turnip,

The perfect companion to my spagetti soul.

Roses are red,

Skies are blue,

I like sunsets,

But not as much as I love dancing with you!

Oh darling lana,

Your lips are like Nice flowers on a summer day,

You're like the most Caring queen to ever walk the zoo.

Your smart butterflie face,

Your basil soul,

Your Nice lips,

Your Caring queen being...

How could I look at another when our beautiful sprout love is so strong?

she went to him and kissed him she said she did not know you loved me he said i have sense we were kids than he said well you be my girlfriend and she said that she would love to be his girlfriend 

"Wait! I gotta go to the bathroom!" Kiawe suddenly yelled out while they were in Ohio.

After that stop, they arrived at their destination! "After everything you did to get here, especially riding in an onion truck for 14 hours, the parade committee wanted to reward you with special luxury suites." The service woman gave Harper  a room key. "On us."

"Suites?" lillie  smiled as they headed for their rooms, "Awesome! I've always wanted to stay in one!"

Sarah  frowned when people showed disgust at them, while plugging their noses. "Boy, people sure are snooty around here," She remarked to Kiawe.

"It's the onions," lillie  told them, "We're permeated by the smell from riding in that truck."

Later in the suite,  Kiawe, lillie , and Mallow were jumping on the bed, now wearing their pajamas. lillie  had a pink Victoria's Secret mesh cropped t-shirt, black and pink argyle Drama Queen boxers, black and pink tube socks, and black barbells. The rest of the kids were in their Pjs as well; Sarah  was balancing her ball on her head, while lana was enjoying the view from the window, while clad in an orange robe and blue slippers with a white towel on her head.

"Ash, I just wanted to say thank you," Harper  said to Ash, "You didn't have to do what you did, ."

"Well I can top it; You're welcome," Angelica smiled.

"One question: Why?"

"Because I know, that if I ever got a chance to sing some cheesy song on national television for hundreds of millions of people around the world, I'd want you to have my back."

"Hundreds of... millions...?" With that Harper  passed out on the floor in fear.

"Ash said are you ok

she was

"Isn't this suite awesome?" Kiawe asked , Mallow and lillie  after they stopped jumping, and simply sat on the bed.

"Uh huh!" lillie  nodded. She scooted up to Ash, and hugged him from the side, effectively surprising him and Mallow. "It is truly sweet."

Mallow filled up with confusion; Usually she went to him. Did she like Ash instead of him?

That night, the bed Mallow chose was the last one available for lillie  to sleep in, and even though she felt uncomfortable around him, she pushed her feelings aside and slept in the bed anyway. As she was out like a light, Mallow smiled as he watched her. She looked so cute when she slept, especially when she had a plush toy in her arms, like she did now. It was the same one from the RV; Baby Kuromi in a cradle. Not only was she cute when sleeping, she was beautiful too. He thought back to the day they first left Ash's house. When she said that a girl who "found him freakishly attractive" might live where they did. Did she mean...? Nah. A beautiful girl like her would never be into a boy like him. He fell asleep, deciding to worry about it after the parade.

The next day, the parade was in full swing, with giant balloons and the classic float of a turkey dressed like a pilgrim. The gang clad in winter clothes watched with anticipation as girls in Santa dresses danced the can-can along the road.

"Man, I can't believe we had the entire United States at our feet," Kiawe remarked to Mallow from his right, "And you couldn't get one girl to kiss you." lillie  was at the redhead's left side, wearing a Jack Skellington moon dress, matching bling earrings, black opaque tights, a black winter jacket with brown fur trimming the hood, black sneakers that almost reached her knees, and an orange extension.

"Aw, don't feel so bad, Kiawe," Mallow assured him, "I've decided it's not that important. I mean, after all the exciting stuff we've done the last couple of days, kissing a girl just doesn't seem like that big a deal anymore. Besides, it's not like it's ever going to happen. I just know it." lillie  listened to him vent, as her frustration grew. "I'm going to grow old, and die alone. I'm lucky that those girls even talked to me. I'm never going to find the one. Not in Mexico, not in Wilmington, Colorado, not even at ho...!" The emo girl decided to make her move. Something she should've done a long time ago; She turned towards him, grabbed his face, and kissed him on the lips! His eyes were so wide, he thought they were going to pop out.

But with his hands on her shoulders, he shut his eyes and reciprocated for who knows how long. Little did they know, they were vaguely shown on TV!

At the Tuck residence, Frankie's eyes widened and her jaw dropped when she saw her baby sister kissing Mallow. On TV! "Finally!" She exclaimed, as Felicia and Friar Tuck watched in shock. "I can't believe they finally kissed!"

In New York, lillie  and Mallow separated after almost half a minute. "Chuck? You know how before we left Ash's house, I said that maybe a girl who likes you lives where we do?"

"Y-yeah," He nodded, still a bit dazed, "Did you mean...?"

"Yep," She nodded, "I meant me."

"A-all this time," Mallow stuttered, "I was just coming up to strangers like some kind of creep, when... you had been there the whole time."

"Mm hmm," She nodded again, before pulling him into an embrace. Not being caught by surprise, Mallow hugged her back. After they separated, he had an arm around her shoulders as they watched the parade.

When the cheese float came, with Harper  and Ash up front with a mouse ears headband, tail, and grey gloves, the gang including the new couple cheered loudly for them. After she finished her song, which she sang perfectly, the gang cheered again. than Ash said this one is for lana she blushed than he said it is her favorite song 

Can i have her come up to the float

You could never know what it's like

Your blood like winter freezes just like ice

And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you

You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use

And did you think this fool could never win

Well look at me, I'm coming back again

I got a taste of love in a simple way

And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

Once I never could hope to win

You starting down the road leaving me again

The threats you made were meant to cut me down

And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now

You know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

I'm still standing after all this time

Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

"It was definitely worth the drive!" Didi exclaimed, before she accidentally knocked over a trashcan. It rolled on the road, making a man on stilts stumble back and a girl balancing on a ball roll back and fall in front of the turkey float. The float came to a stop, but apples fell off of it, making the balloon holders slip around and let go of the balloon strings. Another man on stilts fell on a man in the audience, who also fell on Sarah  in a domino effect.

The gang watched in anticipation as her soccer ball flew up in the air, but to their disappointment, it fell on the sidewalk. The record attempt was history. Ash, Sophocles, and lana turned to Sarah , who looked like she was going to burst, but she simply picked up the ball, and happily started over. "1, 2, 3..."

On the way back in the RV, which was actually on the trailer load on a semi truck, the whole gang was singing Betty's hundred cups of blast song cheerfully. lillie , Mallow, and lana were sitting at the right side of the table, while Kiawe, Ash, and Sophocles were at the left. Harper  and a jealous Angelica were standing up, as well as Sarah  who was kicking her ball. Pumpkin was there as well. After the excitement died down, lillie  smiled up at Mallow. "That was the best time of my life."

"Which part?" He smiled back down at her, "Kissing me? Seeing the parade in person? Traveling in an RV like you always wanted?"

Her smile grew. "Everything." She kissed his cheek.

"I just can't believe that I didn't realize you were talking about yourself before we left," Mallow remarked, "I feel like an idiot."

"You're not an idiot," lillie  shook her head, "I should've just told you how I felt right then and there. It was my fault; I was just too nervous to tell you."

"How come?"

"I... I was afraid that if you didn't like me back, it would've ruined our friendship," She shrugged.

"lillie , our friendship can survive anything," He assured her, "Even... romance." She perked up at that. "After we're home... do you want to um, get a hamburger? Once the festivities are over?"

"I'd love to," She smiled. After turning in the seat, they shared a kiss once again, like the one they had during the parade, although this kiss was shorter. They separated after a few seconds. "Thanks for inviting me on this trip."

"No problem," He smiled lovingly at her, "It wouldn't have been the same without you."

She laid her head on his shoulder, so her hair's green apple scent hit his nose. "You know one thing I'm looking forward to, now that the parade is over?"

"What's that?"

"Our first Christmas together." She laid a hand on his chest over his winter jacket.

"I'm excited for that too," Mallow said, "But... let's wait until after our Thanksgiving dinners to worry about that, 'kay?" He brushed some strands of ebony hair from her face.

"Okay." She blushed when his hand touched her cheek.

"Also, lillie ?"

"Yeah?"

"You were right."

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "About what?"

"The perks of traveling in an RV," He replied, "It is nice to see the world right before your eyes like this." He gestured to the window.

"I told you so," She giggled, "I told all you guys."

"Yep you did," Ash nodded, before he leaned back in the seat, "It's quite relaxing."

"I knew it all along," Sophocles smiled widely.

"Plus it's much easier to achieve my record," Sarah  chimed in, "35, 36, 37..."

"Hey Mom?" Mallow turned back to Kira.

"Yes, Mallow?" She smiled at him.

"For our next vacation, can we take an RV?"

"We'll see," She giggled, along with lillie .

"I hope we do," lana said, "It was much better than I expected. I'm going to miss this one, even though it's crud." Everyone agreed with her.

That night, everyone fast asleep, including Betty since she didn't have to drive, except for lillie  and Mallow. lillie  was wearing a white and hot pink Disney Princess emojis nightshirt, black and white plaid pajama pants, black lace ruffled ankle socks, and black barbells. Her baby Kuromi was in her arms once again. "Like I said before, this was the best trip of my life."

"I'm glad you liked it," Mallow smiled down at her, "I wonder if we were on TV?"

"Probably," She shrugged, "If we were, then it's guaranteed that our families saw us... y'know," She giggled, before she yawned and rubbed her eyes under her glasses.

"Let's talk more tomorrow," Mallow suggested; He gently took her glasses and set them with his on the super tall two-layered table.

"G'night... boyfriend," She smiled, surprising him.

"G-g'night girlfriend," He smiled back. After he kissed her cheek, she laid on his chest, snuggling in his blue and purple pajamas. Mallow set his chin on her head as he stayed awake with his arms around her. He set one hand in her soft, dark hair that reached her lower shoulders, with the other on her back. To be truthful, he had a crush on her too, like she did with him, but like her, he was afraid to tell her. He didn't want their friendship to go down the drain should he do something stupid. He couldn't lose her. He looked down further, and smiled when he saw the plush Kuromi between him and his new girlfriend. He loved how she wasn't afraid to look childish in front of their friends; She was truly one of a kind. After planting a kiss on her head, he drifted off to sleep with his face partially in her hair.

After a few days and nights passed, their surroundings started to look familiar again. They were home! Along the way, lillie  and Mallow discussed how they would break the news to her family, and Chaz. They finally decided to tell them together, after their Thanksgiving dinners. That evening, after dropping the Pickles off at their respective homes, the truck stopped in front of the  house. Mallow, lana, and Kira stepped out on the sidewalk, but lillie  caught up with her new boyfriend. "Bye Mallow," She smiled at him, her hands in his.

"Bye lillie ." He kissed her cheek over her long bangs, "Have a good Thanksgiving."

"You too." She pecked his lips before re-entering the RV. Mallow smiled dreamily as he watched her go.

"Mallow?" He flinched when lana nudged him. "Come on, let's get in there!" And with that, they and Kira rushed into the house.

Meanwhile, lillie 's heart leapt with joy when the truck stopped in front of the Tuck residence. "Here's your stop, lillie ster," Betty announced, "Thanks for comin'."

"No problem, thanks for letting me come." She smiled, her backpack and suitcase on her before she walked out of the RV and on the sidewalk. As she stepped on the porch, she heard the truck drive away, before she used her house key to unlock the door and opened it. "Anyone home?" She called out as she entered the kitchen and set her backpack on a chair.

She heard stampeding footsteps before Frankie dashed in, followed by their parents. "lillie !" She yelled excitedly before grabbing her in a tight embrace.

"Hey, honey!" Felicia joined the embrace from behind their oldest daughter.

"How was the trip?" Friar Tuck hugged lillie  from behind.

"It was great!" She smiled, "Did you see me on TV?"

"Did we ever," Frankie smiled cheekily, "We saw Mallow as well. Way to plant it on him, sis!"

"Are you and Mallow getting together?" Felicia asked her.

"How about I tell you guys tomorrow?" lillie  suggested, "I'm kind of tired at the moment."

"Okay then," Friar Tuck nodded, "You just head up to bed, kiddo. You need it after that long trip."

"Thanks guys," She smiled, "'Night!" After trudging up the stairs and brushing her teeth, she entered her bedroom and flopped on her bed, not realizing how much she missed it until that very moment. Although sleeping in the RV was fun, she missed her own bed. After changing into her pajamas, she just sat on her bed, taking in her familiar surroundings. Although the trip was a lot of fun, it was good to be home. As she laid face-up in the soft as clouds covers, she thought of Mallow. The boy of her dreams was finally hers forever! Hopefully forever... no, not hopefully. She knew for a fact that they'd be together forever; They'll get married upon reaching adulthood and start a family. She was sure of it.

In the  household, after a joyous reunion with Chaz, everyone went to bed for the night, Mallow and the girls deciding to tell Chaz about the trip tomorrow. Mallow laid in his bed, which he had missed, thinking about lillie . He couldn't believe that the girl of his dreams was finally his forever. He knew that they would never ever break up. They'll get married, and start a whole new generation of Tucks and s. He was sure of it. He had to convince Chaz, who had seen the kiss on TV, to let him explain with lillie  by his side after their respective Thanksgiving dinners.

One thing's for sure: lillie  and Mallow, heck nobody, was ever going to forget the cross-country journey to the concrete jungle