22. Chapter 22

AN: We're reaching the end of this story arc, just FYI. Anyone seen Seasons Cheatings yet? It's a great episode all around (aside from the fact that Luna alludes to a time when Lincoln helped her out by playing in her band, and that SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN ACTUAL EPISODE! WHAT THE HECK, NICKELODEON!?). But its also got a really great Lunacoln moment at the end that helped motivate me to finish this chapter. So if you haven't watched it yet, definitely check it out.

Mr. Haziq: Near as I can figure, the notification for Chapter 20 never actually went out. I guess it just stayed in the system until it finally got sent out for whatever reason. I also got a few notifications for reviews on that chapter than I'd never been notified about before. Just ffnet being weird, as usual, I guess.

copet: I spent a lot of my time plotting, lying in wait to spring the comfy moments on you guys when you're least expecting it. But thank you, I really enjoyed writing that part, and I'm glad people seemed to like it.

Dread55: Lori's the one who kissed him. Because she's super fast. I'm going to tentatively say that Luna and Sam were about 13 in the flashback, so Lincoln would have been about 9. We're trying to keep our timelines consistent, but some developments happen more organically than others, and its difficult to catch everything all the time.

dogbertcarroll: That's the kind of thing that might come up in this very chapter...

Miraculous Psychic Hero 100: I wasn't aware the Louds were so short. And is Lincoln taller than Lynn? Pretty sure they're drawn, at least, as being the same height. Though again, the show's simplified art style means you cant take all the visuals at face value.

Fox Boss: Interesting. I'm really only familiar with the original 10 aliens, and a few other random ones from the bits and pieces I saw later on, but the other ones sound like they're more or less on point. I'd also probably make Lori Waybig (because she's the biggest, see? It's like a pun, but not at all funny). Also, I don't see stealth really being a thing that jives with Leni. She likes people to look at her, so she'd probably fit better with something flashier. Also, it'd probably work a bit better of the sisters themselves were hyman/alien hybrids (that was a thing in Alien Force, right? I'm pretty sure I remember that being a thing), and the Omnitrix was allowing Lincoln to turn into their respective aliens, or something.

LoudCestBest: Because comfy is good. Comfy is love. Accept the comfy!

TigerJacob: Yeah, that was a flashback. Probably could have made that a little more clear, but I'd hoped the context clues were enough. Ah well, it is what it is.

Luna opened her eyes, and before her brain registered the change in state she immediately, instinctively knew she'd had The Dream again. She knew this because her cheeks were sore from smiling so hard, which was a telltale sign of her only nocturnal experience significant enough to warrant proper noun status. Soon enough, proper consciousness fully returned to the rocker, along with her memories, and she knew her hunch had been correct.

The Battle of the Bands had been a major turning point for both her and Sam. They'd gotten to put their talents to the test on a stage far greater than any they'd ever performed on previously, they'd earned fame, acclaim, and confidence in themselves, and the record deal they'd won had propelled the pair to instant stardom after the release of their first single. It was not at all an understatement to say that Luna's life had irrevocably been changed that day, and pretty much unequivocally for the better.

And despite quite possibly being the most important moment of her life, it almost hadn't happened. On the eve of the Battle, she'd very nearly thrown in the towel. Sam too, irrepressible and unflappable as she normally was. The girls had looked upon the insurmountable challenge before them, and they'd been on the cusp of turning away. At any other time, they likely would have, and that may have been it, were it not for the encouragement of her little brother. Lincoln, her first and number one fan...

A quiet groan reminded Luna that this particular occasion was a special one. Trying to assert some control over the grin currently ravaging her face, the brunette rolled over onto her side and draped her arm across the figure laying there.

"You awake, little bro?" She asked, completely unnecessarily. Lincoln's eyes were wide open and slightly bloodshot. Their plan for evading Lynn had been a simple one; hole up in Luna's room until the coast was clear. But even after the most athletic Loud seemed to have given up on her hunt, it had still been way too early in the day for what she and Sam had planned. The need to kill some time and the fact that both girls were still pretty jet-lagged made a mid-day nap suddenly sound very appealing...

"Alright then." Lincoln said, nodding. "I'll just sneak on back to my room, and leave you girl to your re—ACK!"

The retreating boy was cut off as Sam suddenly appeared behind him and proceeded to lock the bedroom door.

"Now where do you think you're going, little bro?" The older girl purred, fluttering her eyelashes at him...

To be fair, it didn't make sense for Lincoln to leave. Out on his own, the kid was inevitably going to get wrapped up in the nonsense of one sister or another, and Luna had no intention of allowing that sister to be anybody but her. Besides, she'd just gotten back after being away for months. She wasn't quite ready to let her bonding time with her little bro be cut short so soon. Not just yet. Unfortunately, this presented a new minor obstacle...

"A-awake." Lincoln uttered, as softly as he possibly could. It was for naught, as the sound caused the pair of arms still wrapped around him to pull taut, crushing him against the mound of softness on his other side.

Sam had been adamant that Lincoln join them for their nap, insisting that he'd need his strength for later. The problem, of course, was that keeping Lincoln to themselves meant hiding him from anyone who might stumble upon their hiding place. And the only sensible solution to that particular conundrum had been for the three of them so share a bed..

"MMMMRPF!" Lincoln exclaimed, writing in the grip of the still slumbering Sam.

Course, Luna's bunk bed was designed for a single occupant. Even when she and Sam chose to share the space for their alone time, things tended to get a little cramped. So adding a third person had only exacerbated the problem.

"Hang on, Linc." Whispered Luna, biting down a chuckle. Snuggling closer to Lincoln, and trying her hardest to avoid being distracted by her little brother's moans, Luna threaded her arms through her girlfriend's, a maneuver she'd pulled off countless times before. Sam responded most viscerally to body heat, so the solution to breaking out of a Sam hold was to gently pry her off while maintaining contact for as long as possible. But just as she began to extract her little brother from his bindings, Sam's eyes shot open.

"Mine!" She snarled, tightening her grip on Lincoln and attempting to scurry backwards, looking very much like a dog attempting to protect its bone. Fortunately, the retreat was doomed before it started. It wasn't like there was any place to go.

Sam apparently realized this, her furious expression immediately turning confused. Then panicked.

"...Ours?" She asked. Luna merely pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at the other girl.

"...Fine. Yours." Sam grumbled, sighing. She released her hold on the rapidly asphyxiating Lincoln, and gently shoved the still dazed boy towards Luna. Not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth Luna gave Lincoln another hug, followed by a quick peck on the cheek.

"Saved your life, bro." She whispered in his ear.

"Thanks." Lincoln wheezed, chuckling nervously. "I'll get you back later."

"No rush." Luna replied, shrugging as best she could from her position. She looked past the pair, squinting at the window. The sun was going down, and night war rapidly approaching.

"Looks like its time." Luna murmured, nodding absentmindedly. "Still got the keys, Sam?"

"Jingle jangle." Replied the blonde, patting her pocket and eliciting the corresponding sound.

"Right. Time to head out then."

"What, now?" Lincoln asked, dumbfounded. "But it's so late. And Lori—MRRRF!"

Too slow! Luna should have foreseen that. She'd tried to cut him off, but hadn't been able to clamp her hands over his mouth until he'd already uttered the forbidden word. They had only scant moments to fix this before it all came crashing down...

Lori Loud resided in a deep state of unconsciousness. As mighty as her physical body was, days of lengthy patrolling had left her mind extraordinarily fatigued. Upon returning home, she'd taken a quick scan of the premises with her enhanced senses, and once she'd determined that Lincoln was alive, well, and still in Luna's care, she'd immediately dashed to her room and surrendered herself to the sweet oblivion of sleep. In this state, there was little that could rouse her from her slumber—

"Lori—!"

Save for the cry of her little brother. Though she remained firmly asleep, the eldest Loud sibling's enhanced hearing still picked up on the fact that Lincoln was calling out for her. And, running on pure instinct, Lori's physical form roused itself with stiff, jerky movements, rising from her bed like a zombie from its grave. Though currently denied her higher brain functions, Lori's body was still able to comprehend that Lincoln calling out for her meant that her little brother was in danger. And that meant she needed to get to him. No matter what she had to smash in the process!

"—Lori Loud is the best big sister in the world. And I love her?"

And like that, Lori's body went limp, collapsing upon her bed once more. Hours later she would awaken with burning cheeks and a giant smile on her face, equal parts confused and happy.

"Why did you have that written on an index card?" Lincoln asked. "A-and why did you make me read it?"

"Just a precaution." Sam replied, coolly as she slid the card in question back into her pocket. The blonde cupped one hand to her ear and motioned for the others to remain quiet.

"...I think we're okay." She said softly, several seconds later.

"Because there isn't a line of L—...err, big sis shaped holes between here and wherever she is?" Luna deadpanned.

"Pretty much." Sam nodded, without a hint of irony. "Now let's get going!"

"Why do I have to drive?" Sam whined from behind the wheel of the van she ostensibly shared with Luna. The blonde tried to turn around to look at her passengers, but immediately the vehicle began to wobble from side to side, forcing her to quickly sit back down and assert control.

"Luna!" She called back, trying to get the siblings in view through the rear view mirror. "Tell Lincoln I look very sad! Adorably so!"

"Duly noted." Luna replied, smirking as she put one arm around her little brother. "And you're driving because you were already holding the keys when. And then I said, and I quote, 'not it', while you were busy playing with them."

"But I'm famous!" Sam wailed. "I shouldn't have to face the consequences of my actions! At least let Lincoln sit up here so he can keep me company!"

"That's not happening." Luna retorted, giving Lincoln an extra squeeze. "Big sister privilege."

"Aaaaaaaw!"

"Uh, Luna?" Lincoln asked, looking worriedly towards the front of the van. "Maybe I should—"

"Ignore her, little bro." Luna giggled, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Sam likes to overreact like that. This is totally normal."

"I'm going to die from loneliness!"

"See? She'll be fine." Luna shook her head, amused at her girlfriend's antics. "Now forget about her for a bit. We've got a bit of a drive ahead of us, so why don't you catch me up on what's been going on."

"S-sure." Lincoln gulped loudly, now expecting to be put on the spot. "Well, I still haven't gotten to see the video of your last concert. I almost talked mom into it, but then she noticed there was a content warning..."

"That's probably for the best." Luna winced. "Last I heard they were still cleaning fake blood out of the arena. Might have gone a bit overboard with the special effects that time..."

"Oh! But I got to see Sam's guest appearance on Police Procedural #37! Though, didn't do a very good job of hiding the fact that she was the killer."

"I wasn't supposed to be at first!" Sam called back. "But they rewrote the script partway through shooting to give me a bigger part. They said I was born for the role!"

Lincoln looked to Luna, who simply shook her hand, as if to say "kinda". Then she motioned for Lincoln to continue.

"Right." He said, shooting one more glance at the front of the van. "And...oh! I heard you guys are going to be in that new Guitar Battlers game, so I already preordered a copy."

"Bro, you didn't have to do that." Luna chortled. "If you'd just asked me I would have gotten you a copy for free. Heck, I'm pretty sure the game's already done, and they're just waiting until the holidays to release it.

"Well...yeah." Lincoln sunk into his seat a little, cheeks tinged red with embarrassment. "But this way your sales numbers go up. And...I just wanted to help you guys out."

"Awwww!" Cooed both girls in unison. The response did little to help Lincoln's embarrassment, and the fierce hug Luna pulled him into helped even less.

"Luna, I can hear you hugging him!" Sam yelled out. "Get up here and take over so I can have my turn!"

"Sister privilege." Luna replied.

"Dang it! No fair!"

"I'll pass on the message." Luna grinned smugly as she hugged Lincoln even more tightly, only then finally letting the boy go.

"We appreciate the thought, lil bro. Seriously. But that's your money. Don't even feel obligated to put down your money for our sake, alright?"

"I just wanted to help." Lincoln looked at the floor, bashfully.

"You've helped plenty." Luna whispered into his ear, allowing herself to indulge in one last hug. "And don't you ever forget it."

"Now." Luna continued, surrendering her hold on the boy. "While I do like hearing about our greatest hits from you, that wasn't quite what I was expecting. I want to hear what you've been up to."

"Me?" Lincoln asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you." Luna jabbed him playfully. "You got your Archetype! You're going to the Academy now! You've been in..." Her smile faltered a bit. "Two big...uh, adventures, since I've been gone. You've got a lot of stuff going on, bro."

"I guess when you put it like that..."

"And we're totally out of the loop, because somebody—" Another jab, this one a smidge less playful. "Has been holding out on me."

"Us!"

"Whatever." Luna waved dismissively. "So come on dude, catch us up."

"Well...alright." Lincoln cleared his throat nervously. "But it's a bit of a story..."

"And that's everything that I've been through, basically." Lincoln concluded. Moments passed, and Lincoln grew increasingly worried. Luna hadn't said anything in a while, and her face had been frozen in an expression of what he presumed was concern, for quite some time now. Mercifully, the silence was finally broken.

"So...you're a Harem King?"

Unfortunately, it was by Sam.

"That's...what they tell me." Lincoln replied, glancing uncertainly towards the driver's seat before looking back at his still frozen sister.

"Do you have a harem yet?"

"What!" Lincoln was surprised that his outburst was accompanied by an echo. An instant later, he realized the outcry had been supplied by Luna, who'd finally broken free from her funk, but was now staring at him, wild-eyed.

"N-no." Lincoln responded waving his hands in front of him. "I swear. I'm not going around collecting girls or anything, honest!"

"Well yeah, that be really inefficient." Sam explained as she pulled the van over, finally allowing herself to join the conversation. "Don't you have like, a website or something?"

"...Why would I need one?" Lincoln asked, very slowly.

"To get yourself out there, obviously." Sam rolled her eyes, as if the answer had been obvious. "Girls need to know you exist before they can join your harem, obviously. Speaking of which, what's your application process like? Because I think I know a couple of girls—"

"Sam!" Luna barked, pulling Lincoln close. "Now is not the time!"

"If not now, when?" The blonde asked, pouting.

"Not now!" Luna insisted, as she began to stroke Lincoln's hair. "Weren't you paying attention? The kid's been in two big fights already! He's gotta be traumatized!"

"The way I heard it, Lincoln totally kicked butt on both occasions!"

"J-just the one." Lincoln answered quickly. "Lori did all the work on the first one. A-and really, the second one was all Leni..."

"Peeshaw." Sam replied dismissively as she swiped furiously at her phone. "You're not giving yourself enough credit—oh hey! There's video of the mall thing! Check it out, Lunes!"

"Video? WAIT!" But Lincoln's protest came too late. He was now looking at footage of the day in question. And low quality as the video was, it was pretty undeniable that he was the subject.

"Wow." He breathed, watching himself bounce around and slice Soulless to ribbons. "I guess I did better than I—GACK!" Lincoln cried out as Luna arms tightened around him, the crushing, vice-like pressure forcefully expelling the air from his lungs.

"L-Luna!" He squawked, trying to crane his neck upwards.

"S-sorry...'lil bro." Luna stammered in response. "Just...just working through some...things." Thankfully she loosened her grip, allowing Lincoln to breathe once more.

"Woof. I'll say." Sam added, letting out a low whistle. "So...what's the deal with the tuxedo?"

"It just kind of appeared when I used my power on Leni." Lincoln tried to shrug, but couldn't, constrained as he was.

"You still got it?"

"Uh, no. I think it was like Leni's outfit. It just kind of appeared. And a while after the fight was over it disappeared again. I haven't been able to transform like that since."

"Interesting." Sam stroked her chin thoughtfully. "But you got that way when you did your thing with Leni."

"When I used my ability on Leni, yes." Lincoln corrected her.

"I liked my phrasing better." Sam said with a grin. "Point is, you got powers like Leni's when you used your thing on her. So it stands to reason that if you got with another girl..."

"Sam!" Luna growled. "I really don't think now is the time to talk about stuff like that." To Lincoln's surprise, the other girl relented.

"Fine, fine." Sam sighed, throwing up her hands in protest. "We're here anyway, might as well get out."

"Good." Luna nodded. "Let's go then."

"Uh, okay." Said Lincoln, feeling like he was missing some valuable context here, but being unwilling to pry. Whatever it was, it was clearly between the two girls.

"Hey, Luna?" He asked, after several seconds had passed.

"Yeah, bro?"

"You know...you're going to have to let go of me if we want to get out of the car, right?"

"...Five more minutes."

"Well I'm not gonna be standing out here all by myself!" Sam grumbled as she hopped out of her seat and ran around to the side of the van. "Make room for Sam!"

"And now we're out of the car!" Sam announced, approximately ten minutes later. "And also where we want to be!"

"Which is...where, exactly?" Lincoln asked, uncertain. Sam had driven them to one of the older, unused parts of town, far on the outskirts of the Royal Woods area. The kind of place that had once been fairly populated, then subsequently abandoned once circumstances made it more advantageous to move further inward. Aside from being better for business to have customers readily available, being around other people also meant that you were more likely to be saved in the event of a Soulless attack. These days, such places generally only saw traffic from combat Archetypes performing their patrols, and the odd business willing to set up remote operations there.

Before them was a decrepit building like the others in the surrounding area. All that set it apart from its fellows was the fact that it was quite a bit larger, and completely devoid of exterior windows. The remains of what had clearly been some kind of neon signage, the letters "C" and "B", provided a hint as to what it had previously been.

"This is the Moon Goat." Luna explained. "Well, used to be, obviously."

"It was a night club." Sam added. "The owner was a friend of ours, and he'd let Luna and I play here when we were first getting our act together."

"Good times." Luna said, smiling fondly at the derelict building.

"Yep. So whenever we're in town, Luna and I like to come here to unwind."

"I didn't know that." Said Lincoln, looking between the girls.

"Well, it's not exactly a place for kids, Linc." Luna chuckled. "Even shut down. Mom would have killed us if we'd tried taking you here before."

"But wouldn't you guys have been about my age when you were actually performing here?"

It happened so fast that Lincoln almost missed it, but the two girls briefly exchanged panicked glances, which seems to support his conclusion.

"The point, is..." Sam said smoothly, sliding over to Lincoln and putting her hands on his shoulders, guiding him towards the club. "Now you are old enough. So we thought we'd invite you along to our little jam session." She stopped, putting her hand on his cheek and guiding him to look at her.

"How'd you like a private concert from The Sirens?" She asked, giving him a little wink.

"That'd be awesome!" Lincoln exclaimed. "But...I'm not supposed to tell mom and dad about this, right?"

"Smart kid." Sam giggled as she tousled his hair. "Now we'll just head on inside and—"

"Hold it, Sam." Luna stuck her hand out, blocking the pair from proceeding. "You know how this works. If you're gonna hold onto Lincoln, then I should go in first."

"Right, duh." Sam slapped her forehead. "Go on ahead, babe."

Lincoln frowned, confused. "Why would Luna have to—woah!" Before he could finish articulating his thought, Luna flexed her fingers. There was short, violet flash of light, accompanied by a distinct twang noise, and suddenly Luna's signature guitar was in her hand.

"Back up a bit, Sam." Luna ordered, as she advanced towards the door.

"Why...?" Lincoln asked, trailing off as he looked up at Sam.

"That's why." Sam replied, gesturing towards Luna, who was in the process of yanking open the door—

Uwooooo

And suddenly it all made sense.

Even from his vantage, Lincoln could see that the building was packed with Soulless. Husks, thankfully, as far as he could tell, and far, far less numerous than those he'd encountered at the mall, but they were crammed into a far smaller location, and that alone was enough to make him wary.

"Oh shoot!" Lincoln exclaimed, squirming, trying to get out of Sam's grip. "Luna! Close the door! I can call Lori and—"

"Relax, bro." Luna replied with her characteristic, laid back drawl. She shot him a confident smile. "I've got this." She gave her guitar a little flourish, then began walking towards the horde, her steps slow and deliberate.

"You wanna play me in, babe?" She called over her shoulder.

"On it!" Sam replied. Letting go of Lincoln, she held out her hand, just like Luna had. One pink flash later and her bass appeared. She gave the instrument a little twirl, then began plucking at the strings, providing a frantic, but catchy bass line to accompany Luna's march. The brunette clearly approved, quickening her steps and bobbing her head in tune to the music.

"Uh, Sam?" Lincoln asked, glancing fearfully at his sister. "What exactly is Luna planning on doing in there?" To his surprise, the older girl let out a short peel of laughter, briefly losing the beat before composing herself and resuming her playing.

"What, your parents never told you what her Archetype was?"

"Not...really?" Lincoln replied, now more confused more then ever. "You guys play music. I figured you were Rock Stars, or something."

"Close." Sam drawled. Luna had quickened her pace and Sam's fingers were now flying across her instrument to stay in tempo with her. Lincoln let out a strangled cry as Luna gripped her guitar in both hands and held it aloft.

"Calm down Linc." Sam whispered into his ear. "Luna's got this. Just watch."

As if Lincoln could do anything else. The sole male Loud sibling watched, frozen in terror as his big sister charged at the horde, letting out a might cry as she swung her guitar at the nearest creature. To his surprise, just before impact an enormous, crescent shape blade emerged from either end of the instrument, and the hapless creature was cleanly cut in twain. Harnessing the momentum from her blow, Luna spun around with practiced ease and pulled her weapon into a horizontal swing. Luna let out a delighted cry as an entire group of creatures was torn apart by her stroke.

"After all, we are Battle Idols." Sam continued, letting out a soft chuckle. "Emphasis, of course, on the battle."