[Stage 15#]
[A new rule has been added]
[If the answer given does not match your truthful inner voice, you will lose.]
This was no more a matter of logic or reasoning: this was pure, sheer luck. The system was no more testing our brains but rather if we had a good heart. If we not only knew what the right choice was supposed to be, but if we were righteous enough to choose it ourselves.
'There is no right chose', were they shitting me?
[20]
[19]
[18]
I stared at the letters, the purple glow that emanated from the sentences making my head hurt. Somehow it was as if that mist was getting thicker, more present in the air. As if I had inhaled a drug, the space around me seemed to compress itself, getting smaller until the walls were surrounding my body inches away from my skin. It was almost as if I could hear two voices inside my head, fighting, arguing, trying to win me over. One was fueled by fear, despair; thoughts so frightening and sickening all I wanted to do was cover my ears and pretend those were not my thoughts, but rather demons whispering to make me fall.
'How come they know so much about you? How come they know your sister?'
'They know because they have her. If you choose to save yourself, Hana will die.'
'You will be a murderer.'
'Again'.
I closed my eyes, yet those words kept echoing inside my head, sweat dripping from my face. For some reason it felt like Hana was really in danger, that I was about to choose her destiny. Her fate. That whole thing did not feel like a game anymore; it felt like a choice that would scar my heart forever.
[13]
[12]
[11]
But that couldn't be possible; it wouldn't make sense. If they wanted to threaten me using Hana, they would have shown me. A video, a photo—there was no way for me to find out if they were fake, no way for me to verify if they indeed had Hana. But what if the reason they showed nothing was to do just that? Make me even more confused and lost.
[10]
[9]
[8]
'You know what you would choose, so just do it. If you do nothing or lie, you are dead anyway.'
'And even if they do have Hana, what guarantees she would stay alive?'
'You know your choice already.'
'Because you know what a shitty person you are.'
My chest tightened, memories coming back to me. If I closed my eyes, I could hear Hana's voice, smell her perfume, feel the warmth of her hands.
「Can we come here again next year? I want to create more memories together. 」
It was as if I was back at my old life, back to my old self. The scent of flowers being carried along a summer breeze, the sun warming my skin. On that memory, Hana had asked me something similar and when I answered her, I spoke with my heart. I answered her with my entire soul and my entire being, no lies. I could remember Hana smile and how she touched her hair as I wiped her tears away—every single thing. And it were not the walls so close to me that stole my breath, that made it harder to breathe and fill my lungs. It was the knowledge that I already knew the choice I had to make.
[5]
[4]
[3]
At that moment, with the seconds passing right before my eyes, the words that left my trembling lips were different. And worst of all, they were still true. They still resonated with my soul and my heart.
"I will save Eun-Woo…"
To me, it was really like I was murdering Hana. That I had just chosen her death over my new life, condemning the person I loved most in that forsaken world because of my own blackened desires. For I could not bare the thought of losing this new life, this new self, even if that meant I had to sacrifice my dearest sister. Yet worst of it all, I could not even be certain that most people chose the same. That I would survive that stage. And as the screen began to blink, shedding light to the strange mist that filled the cubicle, I felt my heart race and shrink; throb and bleed. I realized I was sweating as I felt it running down my back and temples; my skin so sensitive that it burned.
As the system counted the votes yet again, I dreaded what could be the last moments of my new life. Me realizing I would let my sister die to save myself, and dying right after it because, even by becoming someone new and better, I still was not a good person.
When it finally showed the results I nearly collapsed, a laugh stuck at my throat. 'There is no right answer', these bastards…
[All new Selves that spoke their own truth…]
[Won]
Something wet ran down my face, but I did not bother to wipe it away. The room went back to how it was as my heart slowed down, sweat still dripping from my chin. It took a few seconds yet the mist dissipated, the space "normal" once again. I glanced at my hands, surprised that they were not as steady as I thought they would be. Perhaps I was not as heartless as I thought I was, maybe I cared only enough to be shaken like that. Or perhaps whatever drug or toxin the system had spread was still running within my veins.
[Congratulations! You have advanced to the last stage.]
[Survive the final stage to receive a reward!]
The moment I read the last word the ground below me, as well as the walls, began to shake. For a brief second I was afraid the ground would swallow me, yet what sunk into the earth were the walls themselves, a clear and white light pouring from above, blinding me. It took almost an entire minute for me to be able to open my eyes and see, look around to identify not only where I was but who were with me.
To what may have been hundreds of people before, people from all around the world, at that moment there were less than fifty. At first, I thought how weird they all looked, wearing the exact white loose shirts and brown pants barefooted. Yet one better look at myself was all it took to make me realize we were all the same under that system eyes—to whoever or whatever that was watching us, we 'new Selves' were being of the same flock. We had all survived until that point by making choices and we were all being tested through those choices, and as the shock of choosing to kill Hana faded, my mind got clearer as the seconds stretched. I had survived until that point; I could do it again. I could do it how many times it took, as long as I enjoy this new life to its fullest.
As I glanced around, I saw how others around me reacted. Some were still crying and fear was all that could be shown in their eyes. A few of them seemed to have lost their soul, their gazes lost and hollow, while many were too alert and defensive to let feelings be shown on their face. I wondered how I looked to them—how Eun-Woo looked to them. Did I seem scared or restless? Was there despair being reflected in my eyes, or anxiety? Although my hands had stopped their shaking, I was having a hard time sorting out my feelings as they blended inside me.
Letters appeared in front of me and as I read them, I covered my mouth. And I did so because I did not want others to see my grin, the laugh that was so close to leaving my lips. There was this new kind of emotion running through my veins. It was electric, powerful; probably something I should be ashamed for feeling it.
Excitement.
[Congratulations on being one of the first to join the Top 5!]
[Win the final stage to receive your rewards.]
Although I was quite curious about my rewards, that was not the reason for my excitement.
It was the rules for the final stage.
[Stage 17#]
1- You will be moved to the first cabin of the Jolly Train.
2- You will be one of the train's operators. Your goal is to acquire points.
3- More rules will be added as you approach the final destination.
[Moving new Selves to a new location. Please hold.]
I was blinded and embraced by a pure, white light, its coldness piercing my skin like ice shards. Yet when I opened my eyes, I was still smiling.
Suddenly I realized how messed up and chaotic that last stage truly was. How the system saw our lives and our "choices".
And I also knew the things I was willing to do to survive.