FACING THE PAST.

My dad gave me a pat on the shoulder whiles he sipped his beer.

"I can't say I am not proud of you Jayson. You have exceeded my expectation and you are on your way to turning your life around."

"I guess so but I don't think I have a life anymore."

"Don't be a fool. You are reliving your life all over again. Never forget that."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked with a curious look.

"You will have to figure it out on your own."

"Well, how do I figure it out?"

"You won't."

"Why?"

"It will come to you."

"What will?"

"The answers you seek."

"I don't understand you properly."

"You ask too many questions, boy. It's time you learn the reason you were brought here."

"I am listening."

"So far, you've made progress and have overcome your own darkness. It's a start but your final test may break you than any other test you've endured. However, if you succeed then you will return to the Light bridge. But if you fail then you will be forever trapped inside your own mind, your own memories and your mistakes." My dad said with a stern look.

"That seems terrifying already. What am I supposed to do?"

"It's very simple. You are going to fix your past."

"Haha…that's funny but how do I fix it if I'm trapped here with you."

My dad laughed at me and turned his sights towards the door. "Trapped you say?"

When I turned back the entrance door was opened and gazing through it I saw a portal.

"That's unexpected." I said with a smile.

"I guess you should be leaving, Jayson. Take care of yourself."

I nodded and finished my beer before heading to the door. When I got near to the portal, I felt completely different. It was like things were changing for me. I now realized what a fool, I've always been. I am glad, I am not that fool no more.

I was about to walk through the door into the portal when my dad called out to me.

"Jayson?"

"Yes, dad."

"There is something that you have to keep in mind at all times. Without it you might never make it out."

"What is it then?"

"To fix the past, you must face it and accept your mistakes. Don't try to bend your past to your will and knowledge. Accept the things that can't be changed. Do this and you might survive, son. Goodluck."

I nodded my head to show appreciation to my dad's words despite lacking accurate understanding.

Still, I had to move on.

I gazed into the portal whiles taking a deep breath. "It's to face my past." I said to myself. The I charged into the portal not knowing what to expect.

The portal strangely took me back to Western Avenue, right below the exact building I jumped off from.

"Wait, why am I here." I asked myself.

Suddenly I heard a young woman shout aloud: "O my God, he's going to jump." When I heard that, I dashed at full speed towards the top of the building. I already knew what was going to happen and I had to stop it. I entered the building at full speed and climbed the stairs to the top. It was so exhausting because the stairs were so long but I had to hurry.

I have to fix the past-my past. When I got to the top, the door was already locked just as I thought. My guess was it was barricaded too.

I tried kicking it down but it didn't budge. Despite that I wasn't willing to give up. I kept kicking and kicking whiles I screamed: "DON'T DO IT, JAYSON!"

After a long time of kicking, the door finally fell and I dashed at full speed to stop my past self from jumping off the building.

"STOP! You don't have to take your life, Jayson." I said to my past self. Luckily, I was right on time and if I had come any later, he would have already jumped.

He turned back towards me and yelled:

"STAY AWAY FROM ME, YOU CAN'T HELP ME."

I felt reminded off the day I jumped off the building. I thought no one could help me but the truth was I was the only one who could really help myself.

"It's true I may not be able to help but you don't want to be doing that. Trust me."

I walked past him and looked down to witness the people that had gathered below.

Then I stared deeply into the clouds and said to my past self:

"You truly choose a beautiful day such as this to commit suicide?"

It reminded me of the old man who tried to save my poor soul from committing suicide.

"Who are you?"

"Let's just say I am you and I am seeking to fix my past mistakes."

"What does that got to do with me?"

"Just listen to me and let's get down from here. You don't have to take your life. C'mon let's go."

"You know nothing about me or my pain. What makes you think you can help me?"

"Hah…here we go again. Cut the drama, it's not worth it. I get it, mom left, dad died as well as Suzuki and Amaya. It makes you feel guilty and you should be. So, you seek an escape, a sort of refuge through death. What you don't know is that death isn't going to solve your problems. In fact, it's going to create bigger and unbearable problems. But there is a way out of this."

"How?"

"Choosing life over death. I understand you made a few mistakes here and there but you have to forgive yourself."

"You call those petty mistakes? Amaya and Suzuki died because of me."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. But don't you think wherever they are, they might be still be watching over you. They might've already forgiven you. Perhaps, you are in need of you own forgiveness. Don't you think?"

"Whatever! Get away from me. You seem to be raving mad."

"That reminds me. I once said that to a wise man who tried to stop me from committing suicide. I refused to listen to words because he was preaching the bitter truth. I should have listened to him and I very much regret no listening to him. And, I can guarantee that you are also going to regret not listening to me."

"Deep down you know you can't help me. What possibly can you do to save me?"

"Nothing… A wise man once told me life is about perspective and he was right. How you see yourself and the world at large affects your life greatly. In your case, you've chosen to see yourself as a victim. You believe yourself to be trapped in a cage with no lock. If only you could alter your perception, your life will turn around."

His eyebrows loosen and he began to look down. It seems my words were getting to him.

"So, what do I do?"

"Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Put everything behind you and begin anew."

I stretched my hand and signaled him to come closer to me with my head. I felt happy when he listened. He walked towards me and placed his hand in my outstretched hand.

"Time to begin anew." I said with a smile.

We walked towards the broken door and I took the lead.

"Now there is something I want to show…"

"I am glad that you even cared to come for me." He interrupted my speech. "However, it's too late. I am already dead."

With that said, he ran at full pace even before I could react.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed at him whiles running after him.

He made it to the edge and leapt into the air. I followed behind and caught unto his hand in the nick of time.

"I AM NOT LETTING YOU GO!" I said to him whiles he barked at me:

"LET GO OFF ME! I SAID LET GO OFF ME."

"Jayson please listen to me. Do you believe this is something Amaya would've wanted for you? Please don't throw your life away."

"I C…can't. I just can't forgive myself. I am tormented every day because of her death. I just want it all to end."

"Jayson, listen to me. I am going to pull you up slowly so we talk about this. Please."

He stared at me for a while before nodding his head. With all my strength, I began to pull him up. In my mind, everything was ok and I was finally going to fix the past.

As I was pulling him up, he slipped out of my hand and fell.

"NO, NO, NOO!" I screamed. It was too late. He was already dead on the ground. I just couldn't save him. Why does this keep happening?

I dropped to my knees and cried. I was so close to fix my past and now it's all gone.

"Well, well, well…look who we have here, Jayson Bradley." A voice called to me.

Looking ahead towards the broken door, I noticed a familiar face.

"So, you just couldn't do it. You couldn't save your pathetic self from death. You are nothing than more than a failure." The voice mocked.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME BECKETT!"

"C'mon, there is no need to be defensive. I am just here to enjoy your show and to remind you of what you always will be, which is a FAILURE!"

Deep down, his words were taunting me. I knew it wasn't true but it was so hard convincing myself otherwise.

My dad suddenly came in and said to me:

"I can't believe you failed, Jayson. Why do you always end up a failure? Your mom did the right thing by abandoning you. You are nothing but a failure."

My eyes were filled to the brim with tears that I couldn't hold back anymore. It didn't take long until my mom also came and said:

"Nothing good ever comes out of you. I regret giving birth to you."

I had no choice but to look to the ground and weep.

Glancing down, I saw my very own reflection. It was almost like the ground had become a mirror.

"Take a good look, Jayson. Look at what our future would've been together." Amaya came in and her words broke my spirit.

Staring at my own reflection, I found myself in a different place altogether. I was inside a mansion, a big and magnificent one. There was a woman running around holding a baby. She seemed very happy.

Out of the blues, someone caught a hold of her. "Got ya!" The person said to the woman and stole a kiss. They seemed to be the perfect couple.

"Amaya, Jayson! How many times do I have to warn you about running off with the baby?" I heard someone rebuke them. Taking a close look, it was Grandma Sakura. She went to them and took the baby. "You two are always so reckless! Come on, let's go and get something to eat." Sakura said whiles she took the lead.

"JAYSONNNN!" An angry voice yelled out.

Strangely, I heard the noise of a chainsaw. Amaya and Jayson went to check out who was yelling.

It was another me but he looked disgusting and was covered in rags. Right before my eyes, he chased Jayson and Amaya and spilled their blood all over the place.

Grandma Sakura came out to check what was happening whiles carrying the baby.

"NO, NO! STOP!" I yelled however nothing could be done because Sakura and the baby's blood was spilled on me as well.

I had no choice but to mourn. Why is this happening?

I found myself back at the roof and the old man was frowning at me. He spoke with great fury:

"YOU CAUSED THIS. BY COMMITTING SUICIDE, YOU TORE THAT MOMENT APART! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A MURDERER!"

I thought I was going to fix everything. Fixing my past mean facing it and it was so damn hard to remain strong.

The whole place started to turn dark again and I heard the familiar monstrous roar.

Suzuki appeared and spat on my face:

"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO STRIKES HIS OWN BROTHER!"

I was so broken. I thought I was going to fix everything. I was wrong. I always have been. I was just facing it once more and there was nothing to be fixed. I sensed the darkness approaching ready to consume.

I was able to forgive myself once but facing the past once again and being reminded of the things I can't change brought back all the demons I have been hiding. I thought I was ok and every thing was over but I was wrong.

It's time everything came to an end.

As the darkness approached and my loved ones hurled insult and blame at me, I heard a faint whisper:

"Remember, Jayson. Remember…"

I didn't know where it came from but it triggered my memories. I remembered my dad's last words to me at the bar:

["To fix the past, you must face it and accept your mistakes. Don't try to bend your past to your will and knowledge. Accept the things that can't be changed. Do this and you might survive, son. Goodluck."]

That was when I figured what he meant. Fixing the past didn't have anything to do with preventing my mistakes from happening. Rather it meant I had to face it and accept the bitter truth. The past is past.

I started laughing when the realization drew upon me.

I got up and stop pitying myself.

"You guys are all right. I am a failure. I am a murderer. In fact, I am many things but that's all past now, because I am starting over." When I said that, I felt like some kind of badass.

Soon, my worst nightmare came to existence. Beckett and the rest turned to vicious monsters and I was their target. Their ears became pointy and they had bloodshot eyes and long canine teeth ready to rip my flesh apart. Their claws were elongated and they moved around attempting to circle around me.

I felt the urge to run but I choose not to. Instead, I walked and faced them.

As I went towards them, I noticed my outfit changing. It was like I was going through some sort of transformation. I felt reminded of Zyren. I found myself in an armor. I smiled and kept walking towards them.

"I have been running from my past far too long. It's time I fought back." I encouraged myself.

Drawing near, I found myself wielding a broad sword.

"Nice." I said whiles I increased my pace.

One of them got closer and tried to rip my head off. I evaded and returned the favor. I chopped of its head. The rest was a piece of cake. I slew them in no time with one slice. I felt so powerful. The feeling was amazing.

The darkness developed around me and without thinking, I rushed into it. It was later vanquished when a great light shone from my heart.

"NO MORE! I CONTROL MY LIFE AND MY LIFE IS MINE TO LIVE. IT'S NOT UP TO MY PAST MISTAKES. NOT ANYMORE!" I yelled.

I found myself back at the bar's entrance. I smiled when I realized that I have been victorious. This time I wasn't feeling hesitant and opened the door with a smile on my face.

I found my dad seated not far away and having a drink. So, I joined him. When he noticed my presence, he exclaimed:

"Jayson, you made it!"

"Yes, I did but I never would've done it without you."

"That's a lie because you would have found a way. Trust me when I say this."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because there is a fighting spirit inside of you. You have to guard it because that is your only key in surviving this war. I guess you'll figure that one as well." My dad said with a cheerful smile.

"You bet I will!" I exclaimed whiles taking a sip.

"Now if you are ready, you are free to go."

I heard a creek sound behind me. Turning back, I saw the door opened and a portal created. The portal led to the Light bridge which meant it was time to return.

My appearance changed back to normal since I wasn't covered in armor no more. I got up and walked to the door.

I was about to enter when my dad stopped me once again.

"Hey Jayson, always remember that you are the prophesied one and the only one who can defeat Belial. You hold all the power within your spirit. It is what will lead you to gain a second chance at life. I hope you find that one out as well." My dad said whiles he bid me goodbye.

I nodded my head and headed for the portal.

When I woke up, I was back at the Light bridge and Eren was looking at me with a bright smile.

"Well done, Jayson. Now, shall we get going?" He asked whiles he took the lead.