Loathe - 6

There was an almost electric feeling in the air as I walked through the halls. The hair on the back of my hand rising with every step. 

Tossing and turning within my mind. An anxiety that would not leave me.

And when I felt the grain of wood against my fingers. The handle of the door that seemed sturdier than even the building itself. When those feelings turned into nothing more than fear.

I tried oh so greatly to be quiet. Ears straining against themselves to listen to the conversations happening within.

A prudent desire to stay as quiet as possible. All because of those same conversations. Of the suspicious way they were talking. A certain desire.

To eavesdrop on those same suspicious words. Hoping to catch whatever had caused that deep fear within my very soul.

But when opened the door - to no sound thankfully - I found myself staring not at a thousand people. Each with their own conversation and mood itself. But at the visage of only one.

No longer were there any talks, no mutterings of inane topics and others that seemed so close to something real.

Only an eye watching my every move, pouring pressure over my head. Over my very soul. Doing something so… so…

I could barely even describe it. There was this…

She smiled, a sweet smile as she gestured at me, those features of hers churning in a way that only a sculpted being could. Sculpted by the gods themselves. A face and body so perfect that even I could do nothing but let her push my shoulder down.

Barely even struggling as I was sat against her side. Buried into her shoulder as she whispered to me.

Of sweet nothings that went into one ear and out the next. Only to then be whispered again, and again, and again.

Over and over until I felt my resistances lull. My eyes glazing over as the feelings of rage and hate faded from my body.

And with them the same vision that they granted.

The last sight of mine… of that visage of her being the illustrious golden hair that flowed against her back, the golden eyes that seemed to smile with her. And that godly beauty of hers. One that seemed capable of seducing even the gods.

For she must have been sculpted by them. To be given such precious beauty.

And those… were those…?

"Yes they are." She spoke. An almost musical… No, a more divine tone to her voice. Like she had ascended towards some upper realm and had only descended in order to speak of some secret.

And my own secrets… It felt like even those, so private to me… even those were laid bare for her to peruse from. Like some sort of personal library. Where she sat, smirking, reading every single entry of mine.

Unnatural.

That was the only word that came to mind when I thought of her. When my vision faded back to that black void. Filled with the souls of those around me.

Yet when I tried to look upon hers… it was like she had purposefully veiled it off from my sight. Saying that I was not ready…. That she was doing this for my own protection.

And when I wanted to push further she spoke words that went directly into my mind. As if she was… as if she was reading my own.

"No my dear, your own expressions give it away. Live for as long as I and you too will be able to see it."

A specificity and vagueness. A light and dark. One that seemed to light the path to some grander idea and another that only darkened it. Giving the barest description and baring the path to the eyes.

"I-"

She cut me off. Raising a hand to my lip. No, a finger… I couldn't even divine the difference between the two. So tumultuous was my own mind.

Just… just from seeing her own presence.

What… What kind of being was she?

"No… gather yourself before you talk. It is only common courtesy." 

And even though I could not see even her soul within that void like sight of mine. Even though there was nothing within my mind but a blank void. I could still see that smile of hers. Oh so perfect. Placed upon a face that somehow seemed even more perfect. Poised to take my breath away.

And when I turned, trying to keep myself away from that monster. I was forced back into her embrace. Her sweet… oh so sweet voice… oh so sweet, bringing whispers of sweet nothings within my mind.

Lulling my own eyes into some sort of trance.

Then and only then did she bring her other hand. Perfect fingers touching my hair and petting it with such gentleness.

"See…" She spoke. Bringing my once lulled attention fully to her. And with it… with it the frustration turned to submissiveness.

My own body stilling within her grasp. Letting her play it like one would an instrument. Her ministrations feeling oh so good against my warm skin.

"See I may be a professor here…" She spoke once more, her ministrations growing fiercer and fiercer. Forcing my body to yield to her desires.

My face turning within her shoulder, my small body curled up against hers, and my arms wrapped around her own.

"But as you may have known, we are not forced to take on students. We are given a choice on who we invite and who we seek to disallow from our lessons."

She turned her finger, bringing it to my chin and raising it to face her. When all was said and done, when she raised me so close to her. I could see.

Despite the fact that It was simply an impossibility. Despite the pity and sadness that I allowed myself to wallow in. My blindness.

Despite every factor… despite everything I could still see that manic glint within her eye.

A single thought within my mind.

How powerful must she be…