Something real

We are immersed in a world of change, although we do not always like to change.

We find ourselves in times where we feel more uncertainty and it is much more difficult to feel the calm sense of stability and control.

When we feel anxiety we usually think that we need more hours of rest, a day off or a vacation. Good rest is part of healthy habits, although if you understand it as the only compensatory action to mitigate anxiety, you are on the wrong path. So, rest is not the cure, but...

And because?

Why am I not even allowed a break anymore?

That is because...

Someone suffering from anxiety feels locked inside their own mind, with the only difference being that their mind cannot think of anything but themselves.

I had two days of 'rest' which I used to reflect on many things and to visit Messrs. Edwards, previously I lived in a small field a little far from the city so 2 years ago I moved to the city to be able to work and attend my therapies, so I didn't have much time to visit them, every time I lived with them, I felt like a child, I felt like I was 15 years old, I felt loved and appreciated. Those people gave me everything they took from me, and I will always be grateful to them and what better way to repay them than to get better and be healthy.

As usual I got up early and left the house to attend today's session, the truth was there was nothing new I just talked about my great two-day vacation because it was like that, I didn't feel the need to tell you my problems, in reality I just wanted express how happy I felt.

I left the session in a hurry and walked a couple more blocks to get to my work, I was busy with my cell phone, trying not to pay attention to the people around me, but I remembered that day of the panic attack, I ran out and didn't even I didn't even let her know that I wouldn't be back until today, so I guess what kind of punishment I was going to have to put up with my partner's scandalous blonde, luckily with my boss it wasn't that much of a problem, since I talked to her before.

I turned a corner, to continue walking, I held my phone with one hand while I took out my headphones with the other, I looked away from the road a little and noticed that I had a message from my best friend, another of the few people who knows what that it happened to me, not exactly, but he knows about my traumas and that I now live in Los Angeles.

I was lucky enough to visit him when I went to see Mr. and Mrs. Edwards, and in all the time I was there he never left my side, he has always cared about me, but sometimes he exaggerates and annoys me.

(Keep it up, and soon you'll be alone.)

I ignored the words in my mind and dedicated myself to responding to the message.

'Today is the day…' I frowned, a little confused.

'Day of what?' -I asked for.

-You forgot it? I'll just tell you that I'm waiting for you at the bus station, bad friend, I hope you don't leave me abandoned. I could swear he had an adorable pout on his lips as he wrote.

—Oh, I remembered, yes, I hope I didn't forget. Hahaha, relax Charlie I'll pick you up. I laughed at my best friend's witticisms.

—When I arrive I want to eat a lot of meat. C.A.R.N.E. I don't want anything nutritious, do you understand me? MEAT!

Most of the time I talk to my best friend, it's mainly to forget about my bad days, talking to him makes me laugh and as if by magic he smiled, which is rare for me.

I would have continued the conversation, if it wasn't that a guy threw the phone at me, I turned to him angrily, but not before picking up my phone, I looked up annoyed since the screen had broken.

-What the hell? Don't you see where I'm going... —I remained static, the words did not come out

'I'm so sorry... it was an accident, I just bent down to pick something up and didn't see when you appeared, God... it was completely damaged, let me pay it, I'll pay you. What's your bank number?' the guy in front of me asked.

Only that for me his voice could be heard in the distance, it was him. He was the boy from that time.

He had shown up again so I was surprised to have seen him, he wasn't supposed to be real, just some kind of figment of my imagination, obviously I wasn't going to stay any longer so I couldn't help myself and ran away, yes Alice had said no it was real since my mind played dirty tricks on me, it couldn't be real so I just ignored it and kept walking.

But how?

I tripped and fell, even my phone was damaged. Now that I thought about it, it didn't make sense...

I checked my phone better, and fortunately it was still on. I needed to get to work as soon as possible, I didn't want to keep thinking about nonsense.

'Hey!... It's me, do you remember me?' I know you're upset, but I can really pay you, after all it was my fault, in case you don't remember me, I'm Jake Collins.

Didn't this guy get tired? He was trying to act as natural as possible, and he was making it harder for me, but…It was strange, his voice really sounded so real.

I stopped dead and felt like it crashed into me.

'Are you real?' -I opened my eyes like plates.

'What did i say?'

'Of course, as far as I know, yes, I'm real...' She looked at me, and her smile was still intact.

Ok... This wasn't right.

Flees...

"J-Just forget it, here. I handed him a card which contained my phone number.

What the hell was she doing?

I ran out of there, if it was true that my mind was joking with me, the most obvious thing was not to receive a single signal from him, therefore, there would be no message and it would confirm the fact that he is not real.

To me that makes sense...

No it has not.

Yes...

But for some strange reason, I wanted to receive some message, to confirm that I am not crazy, and that this person was not a product of my imagination, I wanted something real after years of suffering, I needed this, I needed it to be real.

I almost dragged myself to work, it was still early and things had to be prepared before opening.

When I arrived there was still no employee, and to my bad luck I didn't have keys to open it on my own, so I sat for a while to wait, I didn't last a second sitting when someone pushed the door open.

I fell to the ground, and for the second time that day I turned to see that person angry. My anger passed quickly as I realized who had been the culprit.

She was my boss. A young girl of 25 years, three years older than me. It wasn't really much of a difference, but she used to treat me like a child, she understood... Maybe she thinks that because I suffer from (PTSD) I need more special treatment.

"Oh Jade, it's you. She was about to curse you. I said something sarcastic.

'Hahaha, sorry I didn't see you. I arrived early and that's why I decided to open. I thought you'd be late today. Did something happen on the way here? She—she held out her hand to me, and she helped me up.

-Nope. Everything's fine.

'Speaking of which... have you had any problems lately?' You know that if you need rest just tell me. Yes? I nodded without much interest and entered the premises.

-Yes. I know, and everything has been fine, I already told you what happened on Friday. I started to pack some things.

'Well... Still, you'll have to put up with Rachel's claim.' That blonde is very irritating. —Well, I have to go, I just came to do a few things and luckily you came, I'll put you in charge of the business. Come on, honey.

I quickly took the things from her and it practically flew away.

There was nothing to do anymore, everything had already been accommodated. It only remained to wait for the Scandalous Blonde, and what the clients will come to.

I took my phone, and I remembered the awkward moment I had, it had been a few hours and there was still no sign of that boy.

My hopes fell little by little, my desire to be someone normal was over quickly. And frustration washed over me.

Cool...

One less problem...

One more crisis.

I stood up, and began to jump.

I needed to get the stress off my mind.

'Is it some kind of exercise?'

'That voice'