I'm done with this life .

(3rd Pov)

A man could be seen standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking the sea . He looked to be in his mid twenty's , black hair , brown eyes , average height for people of his country at 5'6 . The man looked to be a little obese as he had fat on his chest area and midsection . He was sweating because of the long walk he had to do to get there . Though he was breathing heavy due to exhaustion , his eyes looked almost void of any emotion . The man seemed deep in thought not caring about how dangerously close he was standing at the edge of the cliff .

(1st pov - ???)

Do I really want to die ? I've been alive for a little more than 27 years . I remember the days when I was younger , things were simple back then . I used to dream of becoming an astronaut flying into space , finding new planets , seeing new things . It was a fun time for me to remember . I was born to a middle class family so I didn't have to suffer much . Living condition wasn't great but at least I could eat three times a day .

I never really tried to achieve my dream if I'm being honest . I didn't study much in school , somehow passing grades by copying form others . This went on until the final exam of 12th grade or collage as people say around here . I failed in math , I was honesty surprised I didn't fail in more subjects , because in a board exam on that level I wasn't able to copy from others . I was sad I guess? Seeing your life crumble all around you isn't pleasant in any way . I tried again next year but missing education from the last 12 years that I didn't learn came back to bite me big time . Though even after failing the first time , I kind of gave up and didn't try that hard to pass that one subject . So as any sentient species could guess I failed again , this time though I didn't try to redo the exam again , fully giving up on education at the age of 19.

I joined my mom in her food shop after that ordeal for about 2 years . The shop was closed due to excessive loss and loans . Placement of the shop wasn't good and sells took too much of a hit because of it . After that I just stayed at home freeloading on my parents . My dad had worked at an NGO for as long as I could remember and my mother even after closing the shop started tutoring kids . So we didn't have money problems . I was the only child they had so they didn't just kick me out . They could've done it but I guess they just didn't want to lose there only child they raised for more than 20 years .

After that I became what Japanese people call a hikikomori . I used to watch a lot of DBZ , Beyblade , Power rangers and other shows and cartoon that used to air years ago . So with DBZ I slowly started watching other anime . It took me about 2 year to finish watching the anime I found interesting . After running out of anime I started reading manga , novels and finally fanfiction . It took me another 3 years to finish reading the ones I liked . While I was doing this I also picked up a hobby of playing games like Apex Legends , Witcher 3 , Mass effect and many more . This comfortable time came to an abrupt end when my parent died while traveling to their home village .

As I grew older I became increasingly numb to emotions . I didn't like taking to people more and more as time went on . I kind of liked being alone . So after I heard from the police that my parents died in a bus accident I didn't feet that sad , just lost I guess ? This is the second time in my life that everything came crashing down and I just didn't know what to do . I somehow manage to bury my parents with the help of the few friends I had . With the money they left for me I manage to live another year without having to work . And now here I am standing at a cliff overlooking the sea after traveling with the last amount of money I had , thinking if I really wanted to end my life .

I just feel lost , I didn't really have a reason to live not that I had any to begin with . I guess I'm just a little sad that my life turned out like this but other then that I am kind of satisfied with the life I've lived thus far . Sure I have some regrets because of the stupid things I did when I was a kid , I didn't have the money to buy the things that I wanted to eat , I only had crushes at most in school though never got to say anything to them but after becoming older watching hentai about NTR , it really switched my mood off from having any kind of relationship with a body like mine . Other than this few things I've lived quite a satisfying life .

If I had to describe my personality I would say a lazy sociopath . I have always been lazy about everything specially my own well being , like brushing my teeth , working out , among other things . I don't remember when the change started but as time went on I slowly became what people would call a sociopath . I lack empathy for others , do things on impulse most of the time without thinking much , Don't mind manipulating others to get something from them , I have impulses to kill people who annoy me too much though I can control it pretty well so it didn't get me into trouble because of it . I looked it up and saw people who have this symptoms are called sociopaths . I don't care either way if I'm being honest .

The reason why I want to end my life now is that I am basically done with my life . I'm afraid of death but I am just too bored to continue living on . If I wanted to continue on living , I would have to find a job with a stable income . With the low education I have and my personality I don't see a good end of me trying to continue living my life . I have enjoyed most of the interesting anime , manga , novel , games and fanfiction I wanted . I am honestly tired of everything and just want to end this life of mine . I wonder if I can get reborn like those fanfiction mc ? I guess It would be fun for some time until I become numb again but at least it would be interesting...…

" I'm done with this life...…. "

Without thinking any more I jumped , wind brushing past me and the ocean below me was making me feel alive again . As I reached the ocean surface I feel my whole body in pain from the contact with the ocean . I felt like most of the bones in my body are broken , I can't move my arms or legs at all , even if I could move I didn't know how to swim so either way I'm gonna die . The pain coursing through my body , my lungs trying to get even a little bit of air but failing drawing more water through my nose and mouth , the instinct of an animal trying to stay alive but failing , all of this brought me fear beyond comprehension , I don't even know how I can form thoughts in this state but all I wanted now was this sufferings to end . Soon as I slowly lost the senses of my body , with the pain gone and my consciousness fading away I could only marvel at how empty I felt even within deaths sweet embrace .