In Love With Who

JAEL'S POV

AS I REMEMBERED HOW MY FRIENDSHIP WITH TY HAD BLOSSOMED AND BROUGHT ME MY BEST MEMORIES, I CHIDED MYSELF FOR EVEN CONSIDERING TURNING BACK TO TELL HIM I HAD FORGIVEN HIM. TY DIDN'T DESERVE WHAT HE MADE HER GO THROUGH BUT HE DID EVERY BIT OF HIS PUNISHMENT. OR DID HE? SHOULDN'T I HAVE LISTENED TO HIS EXPLANATION? BUT WHAT DID IT MATTER, IT HAD BEEN A JOKE ALL ALONG AND HE PROBABLY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING I HAD SAID, BUT HIS TEARS? THOSE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN FAKE, EVEN THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE THE DAY HE SAID THAT HE WAS GOING TO BE MY FRIEND. I STARED AT MY REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR WITH A FROWN.

"HEY! I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU." SAM SAID AS SHE BARGED INTO THE BATHROOM. I TURNED AND SHE NOTICED MY EYES.

"ARE YOU OKAY? WHAT'S UP WITH YOU AND JADEN? I SAW HIM NOW AND HE IS EVEN WORSE THAN YOU. DID YOU GUYS HAVE A FIGHT?" SHE SAID WITH A CONCERNED EXPRESSION. I BURST INTO FRESH TEARS AS I REALISED THAT I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE ANOTHER TY IN MY LIFE. I HUGGED HER AND SHE CARESSED MY BACK AS I BURIED MY HEAD IN HER SHOULDER. SHE PULLED ME AWAY AND LOOKED INTO MY EYES WITH UNSAID AFFECTION. I TOLD HER EVERYTHING AND SHE STARED AT ME MOUTH AGAPE UNABLE TO SAY ANYTHING. I WASN'T SURE WHAT AMAZED HER, THE DARE? WHAT HE DID TO TY? OR THE FACT THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH JADEN? SHE COVERED HER MOUTH WITH HER HAND AND THEN REGAINED HER COMPOSURE.

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?" SHE SAID AS WE WALKED OUT AFTER I HAD WASHED MY FACE AND SHE HAD POWDERED IT A LITTLE.

"I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS IT'S JUST A CRUSH SO IT'LL FADE AWAY SOON, RIGHT?" I SHRUGGED AND LOOKED AT HER, THE LOOK ON HER FACE ASKED ME IF I WAS SURE AND I KNEW THAT I WASN'T. I LOOKED UP AND SAW JAY AND FOR SOME REASON MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT. I WASN'T SURE IF I WAS TO THANK HIM FOR THE REVELATION OR IF TO HATE HIM FOR RUINING THE FARCE THAT WAS GIVING ME JOY BUT I GUESSED HE WAS PROTECTING ME LIKE HE HAD BEEN DOING SINCE WE BECAME FRIENDS. SOMETIMES PEOPLE EVEN THOUGHT WE WERE A THING BUT WE WEREN'T AND I WOULDN'T EVEN WANT US TO COMPLICATE OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH LOVE.

"CAN WE TALK?" HE SAID HIS HANDS REMAINING IN HIS POCKET AS HE SPOKE. SAM AND I LOOKED AT EACH OTHER, SHE LET GO OF MY ARM AND I FOLLOWED HIM. WE WENT TO A CORNER OF THE FIELD AND FOR THE FEW SECONDS THAT HE REAMAINED QUIET I ENTERTAINED MYSELF WITH THE FOOTBALL TEAM THAT WERE PRACTISING.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" HE SAID SIMPLY AND I DREW MY ATTENTION BACK TO HIM WHILE AVOIDING HIS EYES.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT." I SAID AS I KNEW HE WAS TALKING ABOUT JADEN AND I DIDN'T HAVE THE EMOTIONAL STRENGTH TO TALK ABOUT IT.

"YOU SAID THERE WAS NOTHING BETWEEN YOU GUYS SO WHY WERE YOU SO SHAKEN WHEN I TOLD YOU. EVEN NOW YOU STILL LOOK SO BOTHERED. DO YOU LIKE HIM?" I GAVE HIM A SHARP LOOK AND HE LOOKED AWAY FROM ME IN THE DIRECTION OF THE FIELD AND I ALSO LOOKED THERE. I DIDN'T REALISE WHEN MY LIPS PARTED AND I SAID THE WORDS THAT HAD BEEN ON MY TONGUE SINCE LAST NIGHT.

"WHY DID YOU TELL ME?" I SAW THE SHARPNESS WITH WHICH HE TURNED TO LOOK AT ME AND I KNEW THE ANSWER INSTANTLY. HE WAS JUST PROTECTING ME. NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

"WOULD YOU HAVE PREFERED IT IF I JUST WAITED FOR HIM TO DO WHAT HE HAD PLANNED OUT? DON'T WORRY, NEXT TIME SOMEBODY WANTS TO HURT YOU I'LL MAKE SURE I WATCH THEM DO IT THEN I'LL BE THERE TO COMFORT YOU WHEN IT BOOMERANGS." HE WALKED OUT ANGRY AND I DIDN'T TRY TO STOP HIM. I WAS REALLY CONFUSED, WHY DID I EVEN DOUBT HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE?

JAY'S POV

IF IT HAD BEEN GNAWING IN MY HEART ALL THIS WHILE OR IF IT WAS HER QUESTION THAT MADE ME REALISE IT BUT I DIDN'T JUST SNITCH BECAUSE I WANTED TO PROTECT HER BUT COS…

"LET'S TALK!" JADEN SAID AS HE STARED DAGGERS AT ME BEFORE WALKING AWAY. I EYED HIS RETREATING FIGURE BEFORE FOLLOWING HIM. WE ARRIVED AT THE SAME PLACE THAT WE HAD TALKED THAT MORNING. I DIDN'T WANT TO WASTE MORE TIME WITH HIM BUT WHAT MADE ME KEEP M Y EYES ON HIM WAS HIS EYES, THEY WERE BLOODSHOT. I KNEW THAT HE HAD JUST TALKED TO JAEL BUT HE SEEMED SO AFFECTED THAT I WAS CONFUSED. HE NOTICED MY UNNECESSARY CONCERN AND THEN GAVE A DISHEARTNING SMILE.

"WE TALKED." I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS TO TELL HIM, I DIDN'T KNOW IF I WAS TO BE HAPPY OR SAD BUT I FELT RELIEVED THAT HE WAS OUT OF HER LIFE. WAS IT COS I WANTED TO PROTECT HER? OR COS I WANTED HER?

"I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHY YOU DID IT." HE MOVED CLOSER AND THEN STARED AT ME WITH DISGUST. I STARED BACK EXPRESSING THE AMOUNT OF HATRED I FELT FOR HIM IN MY STARE.

"I DID IT COS SHE IS MY FRIEND, IN FACT MORE THAN A FRIEND." I SAID TRYING HARD TO CONTROL THE RAGE THAT WAS EMANATING FROM MY CONFUSION. HE SMIRKED IN MY FACE BUT IT WAS IMMEDIATELY REPLACED BY A BITTER LOOK AND THEN HE SAID.

"MORE THAN A FRIEND? IS THAT A SYNONYM FOR BEING IN LOVE WITH HER?" HE SAID WITH HIS BITTER SMIRK RETURNING TO HIS FACE, IF IT WAS THE FACT THAT HE SAID THE ONE THING THAT I HADN'T WANTED TO ACCEPT OR MY HATRED FOR HIM BUT I PUNCHED HIM HEAVILY IN THE NOSE AND HE FELL. HE IMMEDIATELY STOOD UP AND STARTED TO FIGHT BACK, WE WERE TOO ENGAGED IN VENTING OUT OUR ANGER THAT WE DIDN'T NOTICE THAT A CROWD HAD FORMED. SOMEBODY PULLED US APART AND WE WERE DRAGGED TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE WITH BROKEN NOSES AND LIPS AND BLOODIED SHIRT. GODDAMN THIS GUY! HE WAS ALWAYS MAKING ME GO AGAINST MY PRINCIPLES.

JADEN'S POV

EVEN THOUGH I HAD TAKEN OUT MY ANGER AND IT HAD LANDED ME WITH A TWO WEEKS SUSPENSION, I STILL DIDN'T FEEL ALRIGHT. IT WAS ALMOST THE FIRST TIME I FELT LIKE THIS FOR A GIRL AND I HAD TO ADMIT THAT I WAS UTTERLY HEARTBROKEN. AS WE ENTERED THE CLINIC I STARED AT HIM AGAIN AS HE WAS LED TO ANOTHER ROOM OF THE CLINIC BY THE RED CROSS VOLUNTARY STUDENT, WONDERING IF SHE FELT THE SAME WAY FOR HIM, SHE CLEARLY HATED ME AND I DIDN'T TRY TO JUSTIFY HER FEELINGS TOWARDS ME BUT I WISHED THAT SHE WOULD JUST COME IN AND GIVE ME A SMILE, THAT WAS ALL I WANTED, ALL THE GUILT WAS KILLING ME AND I TOOK IT OUT ON JAY BUT NOW THAT I THOUGHT OF HER AGAIN IT BEGAN TO BUILD UP. I HEARD THE DOORS OPEN BUT I DIDN'T LOOK UP IT WAS PROBABLY THE RED CROSS VOLUNTARY THAT WAS TREAT ME, SHE STOOD IN FRONT OF ME BUT A FEW FEETS AWAY FROM ME AND I STILL DIDN'T LOOK UP. WHOEVER IT WAS MADE MY HEART RACE AND I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY, SHE MOVED TO THE FIRST AID KIT AND BEGAN TO SEARCH FOR SOMETHING. I STILL DIDN'T LIFT MY HEAD EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS CLOSER NOW.

"AT LEAST LIFT YOUR HEAD SO THAT I CAN TREAT YOUR WOUNDS." THE VOICE MADE MY HEART SKIP, NOT A BEAT, NOT TWO, BUT I DIDN'T REALISE THAT I WAS ALREADY HUGGING HER. I WASN'T AWARE OF WHEN MYARMS WOUND AROUND HER BACK AND I BEGAN TO SOB A BIT LOUDLY, SHE DIDN'T HUG ME BACK, SHE JUST HELD HER HANDS UP SO THAT THE PLASTER AND WOOL SHE WAS HOLDING WON'T DROP.

"I'M SORRY… I SWEAR THAT I DIDN'T DO EVERYTHING I DID COS OF THE DARE…EVERYTHING I SAID TO YOU WAS FROM MY HEART…ME APOLOGISING TO YOU WAS PLANNED OUT AND EVEN THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF OUR FRIENDSHIP BUT FROM THE DAY I HUGGED YOU AND LET YOU CRY IN MY ARMS, I SET MY MIND OF THE DARE. I SWEAR JAEL…I SWEAR THAT NOT EVEN ONCE DID I MEAN TO HURT YOU." I SAID WITH MY FACE STILL BURIED IN HER SHOULDER. I WAS TOO ENGROSSED IN MY TEARS AND POURING OUT MY HEART THAT I DIDN'T REALISE THAT SHE WAS CRYING. I PULLED AWAY AND SHE SILENTLY WIPED HER TEARS AND PUSHED ME BACK TO THE BED GENTLY. I KEPT ON LOOKING INTO HER EYES BUT SHE KEPT ON AVOIDING MY EYES AND WHEN SHE WAS DONE PLACING PLASTERS ON ALL MY WOUNDS, SHE MADE TO LEAVE BUT I WASN'T GOING TO LET THAT HAPPEN THIS TIME. I PULLED HER BACK AND HELD HER WRIST MAKING SURE SHE HAD HER EYES ON MINE. HER BREATH WAS FASTER AS I SAW HER CHEST FALL AND RISE IN A RAPID SEQUENCE.

"SAY IT!" I SAID, UNSURE IF IT WAS A REQUEST, A PLEA OR A COMMAND. SHE DIDN'T DROP HER EYES BUT SHE PULLED HER WRIST FROM MY GRIP. I SAW HER LOWER LIP QUIVER AND THEN SHE LOOKED DOWN BEFORE SAYING.

"YOU AND I MIGHT HAVE BEEN TRUE BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED WITH TY." SHE WALKED OUT BEFORE I COULD TALK AND I FELT ANGER AND SELF HATRED GRIP MY HEART. MY PAST WAS REALLY HAUNTING ME.