Chapter 1: The First Day of the Rest of Her Life

December, 2022

I was walking in a hurry on that cold night which clearly seemed odd to my neighbor, Mr. Keen. She must’ve forgotten something at work, she must’ve thought.

I kept watching my back. Paranoia kept me a hostage of its own. The leaves, the cars and people were all suspicious to me.

But I definitely wasn’t heading to my workplace, Mr. Keen. Not today. I took a different turn and walked at an unstable pace while hiding my face with my gray hoodie.

I dashed away my tears, but it was unnecessary. They didn‘t look like they would stop. Because they were just reflecting my broken heart.

My mind was shattered, my skin was cold, and in need of someone. But wasn’t it that exact -someone- who put me in this misery? Wasn’t he in both my dreams and nightmares?

I wanted to scream, cry, laugh, and swear at the same time. My chest was burning and my mind was repeating the same questions over and over again.

Did he do it? Is he as dangerous as the newspapers claim so?

I loved Aiden and didn’t want to believe he was capable of what I read.

I was startled when her phone vibrated. Feeling intimidated by the possible texts, I touched the screen. There were multiple texts from Diana, Enzo, and Elena. But the number was nothing compared to Aiden’s texts.

He was calling now and called 34 times before.

I knew it was a moment that he would find my phone’s location. It would be best to turn off my phone.

Not knowing where to go, I followed dark and empty streets. My mind couldn’t figure out what to do as it was busy playing all her memories for me. The best and worst ones.

I loathed and cursed the day we met, yet I would do anything to return to that day and taste that excitement, mystery, and happiness again.

***

March 2022

"Hey! You’re gazing off again," Diana laughed and waved her hand before my eyes. I was startled and pushed her hand away while chuckling.

"I’m exhausted!" I complained.

"It must be hard to get used to a new workplace, leave her alone Di." Enzo would always protect me. I nodded while making doe eyes at Di.

"She knows I’m just trying to cheer her up," she air-kissed. I smiled back at her. She was right. Elena entered the balcony with snacks.

"They said twins would always be different from each other to an extent and I think they’re right." I wanted to change the topic so badly that I talked about the first thing I saw.

"How?" Elena pulled Enzo to her and put their faces next to each other. They were the first twins I ever got to know that close and it was always a pleasure to watch them argue.

"Enzo is an open book but you always keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself, Elena," I explained.

"I agree with that, it’s such a burden for her," Enzo looked at her sister’s face.

"It’s best to know where and when to show your true self," she shrugged.

"You sounded very philosophical Elena, that’s so not like you," Di smirked.

"I’m sure she quoted that book she’s reading," Enzo chuckled and Elena hit his shoulder.

I looked at the view. Our apartment was on the fifth floor and it allowed me to enjoy many sunsets and sunrises. There was a line in front of the bakery which was understandable since they had the best bread I’d ever tasted.

My grandmother would be pissed to hear that.

My phone vibrated. I wanted it to be my mother, but no. It was him. I immediately muted it.

"Is it him?" Di asked with one brow raised.

I nodded with a straight face and kept looking away.

"How are things at the hospital?" Elena asked them. They were working at the same hospital and having foundation training together.

"Chaos feels normal in hospitals," Di answered in a light tone.

I wondered if I could be that energetic and optimistic if I worked in a hospital. I guess I would be mentally drained.

But my work life didn’t make me feel very different from that. I both loved and hated that I had to write something different and interesting every day. But seeing my words in the culture column of one of the best newspapers always made me feel good.

The fall was rough. Now, writing for a small magazine felt like I was choking. It wasn’t enough in any way. Especially when it came to the financial part.

"Working at a hospital would drive me crazy," Elena chuckled. I realized I didn’t hear anything before her sentence, again I dozed off. Like many times before.

After a few hours, Enzo got up and asked, "Lena, you’re coming with me?"

Elena would sometimes stay here, because even though you’re twins, sharing a house with a sibling never feels free.

"I have to, I need some materials to prepare for school. I really have to dive into it."

While they were leaving, I stood up.

"I’ll come with you, I could use a walk a bit."

We walked on the street together, Elena took a phone call and Enzo and I were walking slowly behind her.

"You wanted to blow off some steam?" he raised one brow.

"I have to, Enzo, he keeps calling and texting everyday," I said while looking down.

"Don’t let it get into you, Lara. Don’t let it discourage you from what you really want to do," he put his hand on my shoulder and dragged me to him, like he always did.

"I’m really trying, but losing my job as well doesn’t help," I chuckled.

"You will get what you want, even better ones. I’m sure, just keep trying, okay?"

"Okay," I said with a sincere but broken smile.

I had nothing but hope that the future would be better from what I had now.