Chapter I It's Time

Winter wind is approaching. Sitting on our house couch never been this sad before. As I always relax myself here with a glass of apple juice and home made sandwiches. Two or three books of my favorite authors at my side, reading them from noon until past 6 in the evening. Then if 7 struck, I start counting in decreasing order from 10 and when I'm at 2 or 1, the door widely open and the shining white teeth, glad visible black eyes and red tainted lips of my mother will surely surprise me.

"Tadaima!"

That's what she usually says when she arrive. It means 'I'm home' in Japanese language. She doesn't have any blood of Japanese in her veins nor went or visited that country. Way back in her high school and college days, she was fond of binging anime series and movies every night and sleeping early in the morning.

After shouting that word in our whole house, she hurriedly take off her sandals, place it in the shoe rak and kiss me on my forehead. Ask me questions about how my day went well, what have I ate during lunch and all the things she wanted to know in my day activity. While I'm busy narrating my exciting experiences to her, she'll cook our dinner energetically. I'm somehow curious on how my mother fuel herself with too much vitamins.

When the dinner was already done, it's the time that the people at home should come home exactly 8 in the evening. My brother Philip from his job in a graphics designing company. Sister Alrissa from her boutique of domestically designed souvenirs. And my father Lloyd from his veterinary clinic.

Eating with them, makes our dining hall noisy and memorable. Sharing what we experienced and learned from day to day basis, teasing brother and sister to some close friends of them as they are not in a relationship now or maybe they don't want to, and giving mother and father time to cherish each other.

"I love you, my dearest wife Cathyrine," father uttered lovingly to our mother.

"I love you too, beloved husband Lloyd," mother replied.

Typical family enjoying each others presence and love.

That's what we were a year ago. Why a year ago? Do you believe in the statement that "Change is the Only Permanent Thing in this World"? Because at the time I saw my father step out his foot outside our door, bringing his baggages and without turning his back on us—his son, daughters and wife—I started to believe.

I started to socially distance my self with others. Concluding they might also leave me because they change their selves. That brought me back to this couch who witnessed everything. From the start of my unending curves on my lips until they faded and never been back.

"Nephamy?"

My train of thoughts cut when I heard my brother. I look at his direction and ask him what. He's also sitting with me on the same couch.

"Dinner is serve. Let's eat," saying those with a small smile on his lips.

I can tell that my brother still can't move on to what our father did. Even if he says that he's okay, that he can surpass it, he can't make me believe. I know him that much.

Way back, I'm on his room. I asked him with raging flmaes in my heart due to loneliness and disappoinment after the incident if he can just let our father choose someone over us without even explaining why. He just answered me sarcastically.

"We can't make him stop on what he wanted to do, Nephamy. He already left this house he managed and loved for about 26 years. It was enough to him. We are enough to those 26 years!"

After that he slammed his door and never came out for about a week. We're not concerned that much on his job as he can do it digitally and he can work from home.

"Mom, you have to eat." I heard Alrissa when I'm on the forefront of the dining hall. She's the one who takes care and help our mother eat her foods.

Everytime I look at my sister, sadness can be felt. She's tired, I know. Right from that day, she voluntarily do the job. And when I look at our mom, vulnerability, loneliness, and other negative emotions. Gone the energetic mom after a long day of work. Those red tainted lips that smiles sweetly is now pinkish to whitish in color.

"I can't, Alrissa" mom started. This is the scene during breakfast, lunch and dinner. "I will wait my husband Lloyd to come home. He can't eat alone."

Before my tears rolled their way down my cheeks, I wipe them off. Its breaking my heart hearing mom's words every eating session. She can't let her memories with dad fade. Its like the thing about dad leaving us was not registered in her mind. Or she didn't let those moment became a nightmare?

"Mom, he will not come back."

With straight, cold and guilty eyes, I confronted my mother. This was the only way that we'll save her from drowning on her fantasies. We should face the truth. It was a year ago.

The sadness and longing face of my mom, turned into an angry and disgusted one. I can sense her wrath piercing me through her eyes. What happened mom? You also changed.

"You're wrong," she calmly stated but her eyes stated the opposite. She's stopping herself to burst and gone mad at me. "Your dad will go home. He'll show up at the right time. You understand me? HE'LL SHOW UP AT THE RIGHT TIME!"

Right when I was a kid, no one dared to shout at me. Even her or dad, my own sister or brother. But, this unexpected event got me broken. She is the first person—my own dearest mother—to shout at my face. Another thing is that, she's at the wrong page of the story. How can we, I handle her? She's blinded.

"Father will never come home."