MIXED FEELINGS

Cassandra Vitale

       I woke up still feeling very much sleepy, stretching my arms and legs as I sat on the bed, yawning and rubbing my sleepy eyes with the back of my hand. I just wanted to sleep some more and at the same time I didn't want to. I turned to see Candice fast asleep beside me on the same bed.

"She's definitely going to get a hangover" I muttered, yawning loudly and stretching once again.

I looked around the room taking in the details of the room.  An intricately carved writing desk stood beneath the window, overlooking a manicured garden. I walked up to the window, taking in fresh air. The smell of roses filled my nose.  The view from the window was simply amazing, i could watch it all day from sunrise to sunset. 

I stepped away from the window and looked around the room once again. Every detail, from the soft throw rugs to the crystal vases overflowing with fresh flowers, spoke of unimaginable luxury.

"Anthony, you really outdid yourself" I whispered underneath my breath.

I headed straight into the bathroom. I started brushing my teeth  as I looked back at my reflection in the mirror and the reflection of Kevin standing beside me in the mirror.

"What…" I stuttered, unsure if I was still sleeping or Kevin was actually standing beside me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Kevin's reflection in the mirror.

"I'm here because you want me here" his reflection said smiling sweetly at me.

I scoffed. "Who says I want you here? You should get out of here" I said, spitting into the sink, rinsing my mouth of the paste.

"Your subconscious says otherwise" he said, chuckling.

"My subconscious? What has that got to do with anything?" I asked, my brows furrowed in question.

"Because, I'm all over in your subconscious and you want me around. Don't try to deny it, you and i know you want me around" his reflection said, looking keenly at me.

I laughed out loud, looking at his reflection. Kevin must be drunk or something. Subconscious? Really? I turned to see his dead serious face. He sounded serious.

"Wait! You're serious? My subconscious playing with me like that?" I asked in disdain, my face through the reflection wrapped in utter confusion.

The bathroom door opened, making way for Candice to enter inside.

"Good morning," she said lazily, grasping her head. Her face was a mask of someone who was in pain, definitely the hangover kicking in.

She was always a heavy drinker and I hated her for it. I definitely couldn't keep up with her if we were in a drinking competition. I'd lose woefully to her.

"Who were you talking to just now?" She asked, turning on the tap and washing her face.

I turned to look at the mirror and Kevin's reflection was gone. So it's true! He was just in my subconscious. Why would my subconscious be thinking about him tho?

"It was no one Candice, just some early morning affirmations" I replied, turning off the tap.

"Huh?" She said, looking at me confused. Probably wondering when I started declaring affirmations.

"Like you know, those affirmations when you tell yourself, I'm beautiful, I'm strong and all" I said, trying to sell the lie to her so she would leave me alone.

"Oh, I see. Please I need something for this hangover, it's killing me" she said, leaning towards the mirror holding tightly the sink for balance.

I assisted her out of the bathroom and laid her on the bed.

"I'll be back, let me get one of the maids" I said, walking out of the room.

I walked down the stairs and was amazed by how big and beautiful the mansion was. I didn't have the luxury of time to check out the house as my mind was flooded with a whole lot of different things.

The penthouse back in Shadowbrook, wasn't even up to a tenth of this big mansion I was standing in. If only I knew a plush name other than luxury that can be used to describe this house. 

As I walked down the stairs, my neck cranking at every turn. The sheer size of the mansion was extremely overwhelming, a sprawling labyrinth of gleaming marble floors and soaring ceilings. The Crystal chandeliers twinkled like constellations, throwing rainbows of light across the opulent tapestries and antique furniture. 

With each step I took down the grand staircase was a revelation— ornately carved banisters, plush carpeting that sank beneath my feet, and the walls were beautifully adorned and arranged well with breathtaking portraits.

I finally got downstairs and Selena's voice rang in my head.

"If you need me, the remotes on the table over there, if you press the red button I'll come to your aid as soon as possible. Please do feel at home" Selena said, when she welcomed me home.

She gave off a weird aura, but she seemed nice. I walked towards the table with the remote and pressed the red button, awaiting a response. I walked out of the house, the rising sun shining down on me. I turned to see the two security men that were with Kevin outside, doing their exercises. I looked around hoping to find Kevin but he was nowhere to be found.

Why was I even looking for him? Seeing myself looking for him like that, then My subconscious was right after all.

"I told you that you wanted me around" a manly voice that sounded so much like Kevin said behind my ears. 

I turned to see Kevin standing behind me.

"Why are you taunting me?" I asked folding my hands against my chest.

"No I'm not, you're doing it to yourself" he whispered in my ears, chuckling lightly. The warm breath from his mouth as he whispered to my ears, made the hair on my body rise, I literally had goosebumps.

"And besides, you were checking if I was outside here right?" He asked, his brows furrowed expecting an answer.

"No I wasn't, I only came out for the morning sun" I shouted loudly. I turned my head towards the security men carrying out their exercises their gaze fixed on me like I was crazy.

"Madam Cassandra?," Selena called out to me, distracting me from my thoughts.

"Who are you talking to?" She asked, her wrinkled face wrapped in confusion.

I turned around and couldn't find Kevin yet again. I must still be drunk from the alcohol yesterday, I'm beginning to see things.

"No one at all Selena" I said to her, wearing a smile on my face.

"Please, I'll need some hangover drugs" I said, trying to stop her from asking any further question.

"Will do so, You're breakfast is ready and will be served at the dining room." She said, walking back into the house.

"Thank you," I said, putting on a half smile as I watched her go back into the house.

I walked towards the two security men.

"Good morning," I greeted, with a smile on my face.

"Good morning Mrs Cassandra" they both chorused, stopping their exercises.

"Have you seen Kevin?" I asked, looking at them waiting for an answer.

They both turned to look at themselves.

"I thought he told you," one of the security men said.

"Tell me? He didn't say anything to me" I confessed, folding my hands on my chest as I waited for a reasonable answer.

"He came over to the house to talk to you about it, I guess it was so urgent that he couldn't even come and tell you about it" the other security man said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What happened?" I asked, curiously.

"He didn't give details, he just said something urgent at home came up and he had to be there" he explained.

"Okay, thank you" I said, turning to walk away.

A million thoughts filled my head, what could have happened? Did he lose someone? I know what it's like losing someone to the cold hands of death. We didn't get to talk much last night for me to ask him about his family. I really wish he was okay.

I smacked my face with my own hand.

"Why do think so much about him?" I whispered to myself.

"He didn't even acknowledge to be a friend to me"

"Cassandra, get a hold of yourself" 

"Fuck!" I cursed underneath my breath angrily.

I continued walking back into the house, when my phone started ringing. I slide my hand into my pocket and brought out my phone to see who it was. It was a call from one of the orphanage homes. I didn't hesitate to pick the call, as I put the phone close to my ear.

"Yes, Good morning," I replied my secretary who talked at the other end of the phone.

"What?! How come?" I asked in shock, my eyes widening.

"I'll be there very soon!" I replied, ending the phone call, dashing into the house.

This can't be happening right now, not now!