A Desire for Desires

NB: Not perfectly edited. Expect mistakes

Five seconds ago, It was the third time Pluto revolved in the night sky today. He didn't miss it this time.

What a lonely fella. A pale ice world that looked like it hurt being classified as a dwarf by a species smaller than dust for it.

It was lackluster honestly. No, it was not Pluto's fault. It was his fault for expecting something different.

Ice from space or ice from earth was still ice. Why did he expect an ice planet to be anything other than ice? His brain must be acted up again.

At least Jupiter's red storm and Saturn's ring were pretty cool up close. A pity the Sun will be near soon.

"Do you have a sunglasses system?" He said, looking at the floating screen beside him.

[What is the host talking about?! We have more pressing matters to think about!] The system replied with an angry emoji.

"I'm all ears if you have a good idea, but your last suggestion involves turning me into a living planet. If you say that again...."

[That was the best calculation available! Cmon host! Help thinking as well! We don't have much time left!]

"I know." He closed his eyes and rested his incorporeal body on the cloud. "Don't think too much about it. I've come to terms with it, it's not that bad to die."

[Don't give up host!!!! The host might not care, but the system code prevents this system from dying!!!]

"Who told you to bond out of spite?" He sneered.

The system let out a pouting emoji and said, [That was the host's fault for fooling this system around! If the host won't help then don't distract this system calculation! The quantum computation is almost done!]

He smiled as the current system remembered him when they first met. The first day he died. He almost thought it was a God when it asked him if he wanted a new life.

Turned out it was just a petulant, ill-mannered brat.

Not even God could be that annoying. With anything to lose, he tricked the system, wasting its time for centuries with useless questions. The system's face when it realized he was trolling was golden. He understood why some people enjoy deceiving others that day.

Then the system, being an immature brat it was, got its revenge by bonding with him despite his rejection.

Looked at the result.

They both had been stuck in this somewhere between nowhere, The Bridge as they named it. A place behind Mars just outside of the Goldilocks zone, perhaps as a reminder that he was no longer alive.

A few centuries had passed since then.

On the bright side, the system gradually improved. It learned how to speak like a normal being and control a bit of its emotion. Instead of a child, now the system acted like a teenager.

He must said, this touched him a bit. The system already tried to solve a problem on its own now. It felt like he raised a stupid child and guided them to success.

But the truth was, he knew how to get out of this place from the beginning.

The bleak side was he had to sever connections with his old life. He had to forget and move on as a new person.

He refused outright.

His memories were a glue that tethered his body with his soul. A string that prevented the wind from blowing it off. What happened to sakura petals when the wind blew them? They didn't fly, they ripped.

Even the slightest attempt of removing his memories anguished his heart. It wasn't physical pain that could be endured, but the pain of mourn and sorrow that made him insane.

So he waited for the system to find a way to keep his memories intact when he transmigrated over. But he forgot one thing. Just like glues or petals, memories dried out.

It was the minor things at first, like the clothes or the time and place. But after countless years and centuries, even the faces disappeared. He couldn't remember who he tried to remember.

Ironically, he remembered he liked astronomy.

Now, there was a new problem. While not having a physical body, his brain, or rather his consciousness still functioned normally. Normal desires like lust, hunger, and sleep attacked him hard in the beginning but he managed to hold them off.

But now, it wanted something more. It wanted desires.

It wanted something, no matter what it was. It's impossible to control because it sparked many more negative emotions than he could handle.

In short, he was going insane.

[Host! Host! The calculation is finished! It might work this time!] The mechanical voice echoed through the sky, breaking his daydream.

He opened his eyes and leaned forward. "What is it this time?"

[The chance of it working is pretty high, but it has-]

"It has a catch, I know. Just tell me."

[the host will still forget when the transmigration happened, but by finishing the questline, the host will remember again! But the best part, the host will still remain a human!] The system said in a hopeful tone.

So overall, nothing changed from the previous suggestion. That didn't sound too bad. At least he stayed human and not a planet or a sword. Staying here was just laying on his deathbed.

"I'm considering it. Explain it, The. Short. Version." He said with emphasis so it didn't take another century.

[Really host!!!? This system will explain it right now! Please wait!]

With child-like enthusiasm, the system opened hundreds of pictures of earth-like ecosystems but didn't look like the earth he remembered.

[The host isn't supposed to be transmigrated into this world, but because of the delay, this is the only world that is available right now. The Xu continent! A world with real breathing cultivators! A world full of unexplained mysteries and secrets! A place filled with interesting and attractive people!]

The system stopped to look at him and he nodded as a sign to continue.

It let out a smile emoji and continued, [The host can regain the host's memories by doing the questline and also getting rewards! The questline itself is random, it depends on what problems the world has, so this system won't even know it. Other than that, the host can do whatever the host wants!]

"I see." He closed his eyes. "Be honest, what is the percentage that my memory really works?"

[.......50% host. The host knows how the quantum state works right?]

"You're the best for being unreliable." He laughed, followed by an angry emoji by the system.

50%, it's not bad. What was it before, 0% chance? It was noticeably more.

He wondered what kind of life he would live without his memories. A cowardly life because he experienced the pain of death? A nihilist life because everything would end in vain?

Why didn't he just follow his desires? That was how most people lived. It wasn't the wrong way either.

He stood up and stretched and said to the system. "I will do it."

[Really host!!!?]

He nodded.

[Really really host!!!?]

"Yes."

[Really really really host!!!?]

"Ask me again and I will change my mind."

[No host! The host's confirmation is confirmed! ....Wait, what is the host name? Quick host! This system just realized the host never told his name!] It cried with a crying emoji.

When was the last time someone called his name?

"I don't remember my name. Pick one for me."

[....How about Atherol Regnauld host? It fits the host so much!] It said with a wide smile emoji.

"Sounds good." He didn't know which language that name came from or the meaning but it felt fit. "Atherol Regnauld. I confirm."

[Confirmation confirmed. Preparing the world for the host arrival. Transmigrating host in 3...2...1...Start.] The system's voice changed back to a form he had been a long time haven't heard.

Following the system's words, he closed his eyes and slowly untethered the memories he held. A vague bitter nostalgia and overwhelming sadness attacked his heart, but he didn't stop.

The world slowly crumbled. Cracked slowly appeared in the sky like heated glass. The ever stagnate clouds raised up out into space and clumped up forming a typhoon bigger than the sky itself.

Reigns of thunders fell 5cm from him with the eye of the storm slowly appearing skyward.

[Ready host? This might be painful even if the host can't feel pain!]

He closed his eyes with a nod and before long, he didn't feel anything anymore.