C34. Mate Material

Continuing Jossie's POV:

     "I killed him... I killed him... I killed him," I whispered. I was now awake with sunlight shinning into a dark bedroom. I felt drained. I felt depression slowly filtering into my head with the memories I've been blocking out for so long. My mother knows too... Doesn't she? I felt around the blankets as I peered through the shadows. I was in an unrecognizable room. I could smell Casimir's scent was left behind. The only thing that settled my anxiety about not knowing where I was. I don't want to feel anything anymore. I want to be numb. This was too much to know. I wish I didn't know anything anymore. Being in the dark was bliss. My father wasn't who I thought he was.

     Somehow... My father wanted to kill his own mate. He almost did if it wasn't for me! N-Now I know that my mother tried to have me killed. Even after I saved her! Y-Yes I did kill my father. I did it to save her though! Doesn't that count for something? Of course it doesn't when you're the least favorite child in the family. I can't believe her! How did I loose my memories? Did I suppress them on my own? Or did she have something to do with that as well? I have to get to King Camren first! I have to get his help before she reaches him and influences him too.

     Alpha Marcus was right. My mother betrayed me. My own pack has betrayed me. I want nothing to do with them now... Yet, I feel this need to prove them all wrong... Maybe even right. I want to make them all bleed. I want them to beg me for mercy. I want to see the fear in their eyes as they realize I- am just like my father. I hate them all. My father wasn't a good person... But- he was good to me once.

     I'm my father's first born. My pack should have stood by my side no matter what my mother said. But, the chose to believe everything she screamed at them. Maybe- I should be who she wants me to be. Maybe I am that person. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to be weak. I don't want that life anymore.

     My future is with Casimir. I just... want our names cleared. We're going to have one chance to do so. If I can just save Camren from my sister's potion. If we fail... I will have no choice but to use Casimir to my advantage. I'm going to make my pack die for everything they've done to be throughout the years. I need to secure my mate... I have to finish mating with Casimir so he'll have full loyalty to me. We won't be like my parents. I'll devote myself to making our lives better. 

It starts by taking care of my mother.

     "Casimir!" I yelled as I crawled out of bed. My head was throbbing. I walked over towards the bedroom door and opened it to find him standing just a few feet away on the phone. He smiled as he waved it towards me.

     "I just called your friend Nathalie to let her know we're safe," Casimir said. I looked around to find a phone book on the coffee table. We were standing in a small apartment. It had an open brick layout. Black and sleek appliance kitchen was open to the small Livingroom that had no TV but a stand for one. I glanced around. There were no photos on the walls. There was nothing of personal use here. 

     "Where are we?" I asked softly. 

     "Safe house," he explained. "It's in the king's territory. Don't worry," he said as he held out the phone to me. "You fell asleep on the way here. Nathalie wants to talk to you." I took the phone from him before walking back into the bedroom and shut the door for privacy. 

     "Nathalie?" I asked softly as I looked around the room. I found a switch and cut the lights on. The bedroom was black-themed. The bed sitting on the floor. There was a single dresser and when I opened it I caught Casimir's scent on the clothes. He must've stayed here before. Is this his place? There was hardly anything here. Nothing of memento. I found my way into a bathroom that was a little run-down but still useable. 

     "Where are you?" Nathalie asked softly. "Casimir wouldn't answer."

     "I don't know. Some apartment in the king's territory. I think it's his place. It's not exactly..." I trailed off as I shut the door and locked it. "Lived in. Are you guys at Tolen's already?"

"We just got in. We called. Casimir had left us a message to this number," she explained. She sounded worried for me. "When will I see you again?"

    "I'm going to talk with him first."

     "O-Okay, Jossie. Please be safe getting here."

     "I will. Listen..." I trailed off as I wasn't sure what to say to her over the phone. "I know... what happened to my father. I'll tell you when I see you again."

     "You do?" She asked in shock.

     "Yes. It's bad... It's very bad," I mumbled as I wasn't sure what else to say. S-So I killed my father to save my mother from him? Now she's still going to blame me for killing him- even though... I did it for her. Maybe... I deserve it? "I'm not going to put you in harms way. You two need to stay low for the time being. I need to find a way to see Camren before my mother does."

     "I'll call Beta Ethan," she suggested. "I'll let you know if I can get an appointment with the Alpha. You two- stay where you are for the time being," she suggested. I couldn't even blink as I stared at the wall. My heart was racing. 

     "I'll... wait for your call." 

     Hopefully I can get in a meeting with the king before my mother shows up and ruins things. I hung up on her and walked back out to find Casimir sitting on the bed. He was staring at the floor as he waited for me.

     "You didn't want me to overhear?" He asked and looked disappointed. "So you remember who killed your father?" He bit the bottom of his lip. He looked worried for some reason. I walked over to him and tossed the phone on the bed. I knelt down in front of him and cupped his face in my hands as I made him look at me. 

     "I have to see him," I whispered. "It's the only way to clear our names."

     "We were going to only stop your sister," he whispered. 

     "Yes, I know... But- there is something new that I learned. I can't- I can't do this without his help now. We have to get the king involved." It's the only way. I can't let him fall into their trap. The sooner I see King Camren the better off we'll be.

     "Can... Can I mark you before we go?" He asked softly. "I don't want you to go there without my mark on you." He balled up his fist and I suddenly felt on high alert. He knows... He's jealous too. He's got nothing to be jealous of. I decided I want him as my mate. It's not because Marcus told me we should be... But- it's because he's been trying to help me since we first met. He means so much to me now. I can't ignore how loyal he's been. 

     "Yeah," I whispered. I felt a blush cross my cheeks. We're alone now. It's the perfect time to finish the mating ritual. This was perfect. Anything to get my mind off my father's death. "H-how about we go all the way?" I asked as I stood up. He pressed his head into my stomach as he wrapped his arms around me. I didn't want anything less. I want him more then anything.

     "You were so tired last time," he said in amusement. "Are you sure you can last this time?" I don't know how I ended up passing out... I was sure I had the energy to finish. 

     "I promise I won't fall asleep," I told him as I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. He looked up at me when I pulled away. A small smirk lingered on his lips as he pulled me into his lap. I could feel his thing pressing up against me. He had already put on clothes and smelled fresh like he took a shower. Did he do those things for me? He smelled so good. Like the first night I shifted into a wolf. 

     Casimir's hands slowly rubbed against my shirt. Bringing slightly moans out of me as he leaned in and started to kiss against my neck. He slowly slid his hands underneath my shirt. His fingers were warm as they pushed gently against my skin. It was good. It was better than good. I felt a sense of pleasure from his touch. It was like little sparks were flying out against my body from his touch. Was this because he was my mate? I'm not sure. I rocked my hips into his body as I couldn't wait for him to undress me. I wanted him. I wanted him now. His body responded to mine as his shaft stood up in his shorts. Cas' hands ran under my clothes as his hands hit my ass and squeezed tight. I was stopped. 

     He suddenly flipped us. My back landed on the bed as he rocked his hips into me. His mouth connected to mine. It was like a heat wave unleashed. I could smell our strong scent leaking out into the air. It was consuming my thoughts with a hunger. I was ready. He suddenly sat up as if to tease me. His body pulled away and felt me wanting more. I felt guilt and paranoia rolling over me. A sense he didn't want me anymore. He could tell instantly what I was feeling. His eyes reflected their own guilt. "Don't worry," he whispered. "I'm not leaving you." 

     His hands came out of my clothes as he reached down to my feet and pulled them up to his shoulders. I rested one on it as he forced the other up close to his mouth. "I'll never leave you again," he promised. He gently kissed the bottom of my foot. I blushed as I felt caught. I forgot he could sense my feelings as well. He rubbed the bottom of my foot and I squirmed as he pressed up against a place I couldn't stand. It made me laugh slightly as I broke my sulk and felt happiness spread into my mind. I pulled my leg back but he held on tight. He rocked his hips into me and I moaned from the sensation it left me under. 

     "Cas," I moaned out as I couldn't help but try his name on my mouth. 

     "Yeah?" He asked and sounded amused. "Let me know if you don't like something." I looked up into Casimir's green eyes. I felt a blush taking over. I don't know why... but I felt a little embarrassed now. This was going to be it. It was like a realization that was hitting me. Yes, he was my mate now... He was going to take my virginity. I just felt this overwhelming feeling pressing in the back of my head. What if he doesn't like me? What if he doesn't stick it in this time too? What if he's never going to complete our mating ritual? 

     "What are you thinking?" Cas asked as he could tell I lost it again in my own worry. He kissed the top of my foot as he looked down at me. "Are you backing out now?" 

     "No!" I yelled as I shook my head. I don't- I don't want to stop. 

     "Good- I wasn't going to let you," he said as he chuckled. He was joking with me. The humor was making this all the better. He picked my legs up by my feet. His hands rubbed them as he rocked his hips into my own. I moaned as the heat raised between my legs. I couldn't help it as I gasped for air. I noticed his shirt was getting heavy with sweat. He let my feet go as he took off his shirt and slung it to the ground. It made a terrible splat. The sound made me shrink away. My eyes focused on his chiseled chest. It was flawless. How could I ever- have someone like him as a mate? The rise and dents in his abs were thick and swollen from exercise. It was from staying in shape to shift into a wolf. The better off you are in shape... the better transformations you'll have. 

     He reached down and slid my shirt up as we seemed to collapse. He rolled me over as he took off my shirt. He kissed against my shoulders as he pushed my body up against his. We rocked the bedding into the floor as we began a steady rub down. Our hands exploring our bodies. I clung to his solid form as he pushed me into the bed with his beast-like strength. I didn't realize before how strong he was compared to me. He suddenly gripped my chest as his mouth made it to my neck. He bit down softly. Teasing my skin as I left out soft moans. I pleaded silently for him to bite harder. I wanted to be marked. I want to be claimed by him. Cas smelled like me and I wanted to share that knew cologne he was wearing. 

     I wanted to smell of him. He breathed into my neck slowly before raising his breath to my ear. I shivered as he teased. He hand suddenly went into my shorts. I could feel his hot fingers sliding down to my entrance and began to run he thumb over me. 

     "Do you want me?" He asked softly. "You want to be mind forever?" 

       "Of-course I do! I want you and only you," I promised. 

     "You'll stay loyal only to me?" 

       "Yes, Cas." 

     "For better or for worse, right?" He seemed to chuckle as he teased me. 

       "Yes." "Rich or poor, sickness and health, you'll cherish and love me always?" 

     "Y-Yes, I will." 

     His hot breath touched my ear before moving back to my neck. I felt him sink his teeth in. Not holding back anymore. I screamed in agony as the sensation startled me. It was only for the better as a suddenly sense of exstasy raced through me. I was energized as he pulled away and kissed me. I could taste it. Blood was all in my mouth as he pushed past my lips and captured my tongue. As if it was a red flag he won. His fingers were inserted in me as he worked to put in two. It was uncomfortable at first but oozed into a pleasurable turn around. His lips pulled back as he stared into my eyes. 

     "You're mine and I am yours," he told me as I nodded. 

     I felt tears swelling up in my eyes. I didn't know why. Maybe because I was happy. He leaned in and kissed them before slowly licking them away. I turned around underneath him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled away as he got up to stand. He pushed off the only thing keeping my eyes off his member. It was big. I wasn't sure about sizes... But- if it goes in me it's going to sure-enough hit my stomach. I felt fear rising underneath my skin. "Don't be scared. I'll be gentle," he promised. I nodded as I slipped my shorts off on my own. He stood there rubbing himself as he watched. I tossed the clothes to the floor and gestured for him to come over. 

     "Are you sure you don't want a taste?" He asked. "If you get it wet it will go in you easier." I frowned and shook my head. 

     "No- I don't want that," I told him firmly. 

     "Which part?" 

       "That in my mouth." 

     "You scared of it?"

        Of course! 

     "Yes!" I shrieked. He chuckled. 

     "We'll try one day," he said thoughtfully. "But- aren't you scared of where it's going?" He asked as he looked between my legs. 

     "Not as much as I would be if you put that thing in my mouth." It would choke me! He laughed before coming towards me. I giggled and crawled away from him as I sensed a playful nature to this. He grabbed my ankle. His head tilting as he gave me a seductive smile. 

     "You sure you don't want a taste?" He asked. "Just one lick?" 

      "No!" 

     He laughed as he pulled me back to him and I wrapped my legs around him as he rubbed his shaft against the entrance to my womanhood. I could feel my liquid coating his dick the more he rubbed. I threw my head back and arched my body. He wrapped an arm around me as he looked at me with a serious expression. "Relax," he warned. "If it hurts too much you just take it out on my back," he suggested. "It'll heal." 

     I nodded as he put me down on the bed and started to line up. I blushed as I couldn't help but watch. He rocked his hips forward. I could feel it. I could feel him entering me. It was strange as I've never touched myself down there before. "You're so tight," he moaned gently. "I'll have to be extra careful with you." 

     "I just want you in me," I mumbled. "Can't we speed it up?" 

     "You'll be sore in the morning." 

     "I don't care." He nodded as he gave no warning. He pushed down on my thighs as he rocked into me. Slowly he was in and out. Stretching me apart as he fought to make his way into me. I whined as I looked up at him. Tears were pouring down my cheeks. He looked down into my eyes and stopped suddenly. 

     "You're in pain?" 

     "Y-yes... Don't stop!" I yelled as I reached up and took his shoulders. He met me halfway as he pushed me back down to relax me. He leaned into my neck and bit down suddenly. I screamed as he slammed his hips into my body. I could feel him as he slid in without another try. I moaned as the pain brought me into a furry of trembling. "Don't stop... Don't stop," I begged. I never felt so good and bad before. I ate him up. It was too far gone to stop now. I wanted to keep going until pain turned to pleasure. I'll cry tomorrow. I'll curse myself for this. I'll curse myself either way. I wish I had known... how this feels!