Ch9:The Tunnel Of Darkness
Vastav totally unaware of the coming days, days of trials he had to face after meeting Bahurja. He perceived his educational career was insufficient to give him a perfect solution. Still disturbed by the out of body experience, he collected enough guts to go into its depth. He never realised that his quest for the truth will make a slave in his own dreamworld.
OO00oooo00OO
Vastav switched on the T.V. In his college days, he watched a minimum of movies, that too all Si-fi. Randomly shuffling the channels, he stopped at Zee Cinema.
"In this world, you are never alone", a boy sitting on a big rock stares at the bright light... the advertisement showed. The room was totally dark, all the ventilators were covered with papers and the windows closed as if Vasu is trying to forbid the entry of any trespassers in his world.
Vastav closed his eyes. An unknown and pathetic face stared at him. The bottles of blood ready to inject in a patient's vein, a lady mourning in deep anguish. "Baidow, what brings you here, why are you lamenting?" The lady pointed her finger at a crowd far away. Some people were running after a shadow...Thief, thief thief... "it's me!! It's me…..nooo I am not a thief. "Vasu, Vasu, a tremendous slamming on the door loud enough to bring any mortals I sense., "Why are you shouting". Vastav replied in an earsplitting voice, "I am talking with my friend on the phone, Maa".
Vastav went closer to the mirror, had a close look at himself… "You are the door to my dreamland." He threw a poly pack through the window. What was there on the poly pack, which remained adhered to him from the days in Guwahati.
An energetic mind like him when put to halt, can be as worst as falling prey to a incurable illness. He never worked out that his search of truth will lead him to an imaginary series of events in his mind. For the first time, Vastav got enough time but don't have anything to do. Hazy pictures of his past carved its dominance in his intoxicated weakness.
The dark-room became his only hope. He even forgot why he returned home from Guwahati, his meeting with Bahurja … The only words that vibrated in his ears were his father's ... "Who will bear your expenses". Vastav brooded about the matter, fell in deep trance and listened unconsciously to the conversation on the next room.
"Maa, Maa are you Okay." Vastav walked along with the stretcher shedding hidden tears and eye red like burning coal. "What happened to Maa, why she is not speaking" he shouted.
A gorgeous girl who almost resembles Vastav spoke in a controlled calm voice, "today is the last day of admission for Higher Secondary in Nagaon College. You should be there." "But Baidou, what about the fees and mom", saying so, he fell in his sister's shoulder . "No Vasu, no… boys don't cry. Go to college .I have managed the admission fees. Vastav hired a rickshaw and left…"Take care Baidou".
"Who will bear his expenses, what is the use of his engineering degree.He, he remains closed in his room almost all the time."
I think.... Vastav's father stopped and cursed himself at his incompetency to guess what the problem was. In fact, the phase under which Vastav was going on… .. cannot be solved by his parents nor by a perfect medical practitioner.
On hearing the shouting outside, Vastav came out of his trance. But he came out with past suppress emotions and with an automatic flow of hatred for his father. He threw the poly pack as he regained his sense back. He washed his face,had a deeper look at himself in the mirror and thought…
"Am I losing control over myself, am I addicted." His conscience was still with him, it took him to his recent past and made him recall about Vimala and Manas.
"If I continue my habit of falling prey to illusions , I will ruin my life one day". But his negative will became dominant slow and silently creeping into his veins and made his credence fade in space.