Only a few hours left

Beyond all that awkwardness I was expecting, I thought it was going well until I opened my mouth and made it all worse while he simply chose to ignore me with silence. Kill me instead, I thought. We were flying thousands of feet above the ground and I had nowhere to go. I could continue watching the movie in front of me or try to mend whatever was left between us.

"I'm sorry Noel. I didn't mean to say it like that"

"It's okay Swetha. Shit sorry, Anu" he planted his face on his palms.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at his fumble but I chose to let it go for the moment. Teasing him wasn't going to improve this situation. "Let's just forget this" I spoke. "Let's forget our boring lives for a while, at least until we land and talk about something fun"

"Sounds like a good idea", he agreed and got back up.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked and waited for him to come up with something. Both of us went quiet and got immersed in our thoughts. I had to come up with something just to break that big icy rock between us.

"Why don't we start again like strangers?" "Why don't we start where we left off?". We spoke at the same time.

I was shocked by the disparity between the two statements. I knew he was always unpredictable and quirky but I didn't expect him to bring this up again. But, this time I wasn't angry or shocked. It felt like the most interesting thing to do at the moment. We could act like strangers and do some awkward small talk or we could be something more - something that we hadn't been in a very very long time. It was scary to even think about, but I was curious to know where this would lead to. I had nothing to lose anyway.

"Are you sure?", I asked.

His eyes sparkled in joy as he nodded with the same old innocent smile on his face. I realized how much I missed looking at him - his smile, the way he strokes his beard, and his scent. Why would he do this to me, again?

"Do you remember the first time we watched The Notebook together?"

"Of course. You cried like a little boy"

"No. I didn't"

"Oh. Yes, you did Noel. Accept it"

"Alright. My eyes were filled with tears but I didn't cry"

"Big difference! Anyway, what about that movie?"

"After we watched the movie, we promised each other something. That would be together forever no matter what happens"

"We did and things changed"

He nodded. "Even after our breakup, I never lost hope. I thought we'd be like Noah and Allie, reuniting and living our happily ever after. I was heartbroken and my male ego took the best of me"

"I missed you too Noel. I know I made the decision unfairly for both of us but I never stopped missing you or loving you. I only wanted the best for us and that was going separate ways"

I didn't know what else to say but that was the truth. I've missed him for the great part of these few years. Flirting with another man only reminded me of him. It wasn't easy for me as he thinks.

"Can I kiss you?", he asked.

I froze and I didn't fathom how to react. Who even asks if they can kiss? I know I have to be grateful that someone is asking for consent, but is it usual to ask for a kiss? Doesn't it just happen at the moment? It always did back then. We never asked each other. What had he become? And why does he want to kiss me? I don't know what I was expecting when he said that we could pick up where we left off. Does that mean he still has feelings for me? But, what about his fiancee?

"I don't think it's appropriate and don't you think it's too soon? We just met after so many years"

"Exactly. We've met after so many years and I don't know when we'll ever meet again. But, just for old-time's sake? I know this is wrong but I want to kiss you Anu. Consider it one our last time", he said cupping my cheek in his hand.

It felt like time had slowed down but my heart only beat faster. His cold palms and his heavenly scent reminded me of my first kiss. He was my first kiss and this felt like one too. I had pined for this touch for a long time and I couldn't refuse. I knew that the day was going to end in another heartbreak when we part ways, but this felt right at the moment. I would be mad to not take the offer.

I leaned onto his palms and closed my eyes. The perfect lips that once caressed my whole body were touching mine once again, at this very moment. It wasn't electric like I thought it would be but it was passionate. I thanked the Gods above for bringing the starry gloom around us and I kissed his moist lips back.

Was I being selfish? I didn't care. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to own me even if it was only for the next few hours.

He pulled away and leaned closer to my ear. "Thank you". We parted away into our seats holding hands and hiding the new blush on our faces. Never had I imagined this encounter would lead to this. I never even imagined meeting him again in life or that I would be having these hot feelings for him.

He looked up and whispered, "Can you remove your seat belt?"

"Why?" I whispered back in curiosity.

"I want to make you happy", he smiled mischievously. "Just like old times"

"Here?" I gasped.

He nodded and unbuckled his belt. He leaned toward me and threw a blanket on my lap. He grinned the whole time as he leaned even closer and said "Thank god you're not wearing jeans". He put his hands on my crotch and stroked it gently. I knew what he was doing to me. That wicked man knows just the right thing to do.

He looked right into my eyes as he brushed over my pants. I was half embarrassed that this was happening on a plane with hundreds of people around and only a minute away from getting caught but it didn't matter anymore. I was beginning to enjoy it.

"Do you like it?" he whispered.

"Mm-hm"

Slowly, he slipped his hands into my underwear and stroked the already erupting volcano. Is this what heaven felt like? It was jitters all over my body and I could barely keep my eyes open. But he was quite aware of everything around him and was in constant vigilance for anyone walking by. The two grumpy men who sat in our row were fast asleep and we had nothing to worry about.

His soft tips circled over the edges of the lips underneath and finally dived into the depths of the unknown. Every stroke was doing something different to me. He slid his finger into me and pushed further and further. I was gasping for air and my back wanted to slide down.

I wanted to moan as loudly as I could so he could hear what he was doing to me but I couldn't. I closed my mouth with one hand and clutched the edge of the seat with the other and panted heavily.

"How does it feel?" he whispered in my ear.

"Good"

"Good what?"

"Good, Noel. I feel good, Noel"

"Good girl. Now, tell me you love me", he said slowing down his rhythm and teasing me.

I wasn't sure if I loved him but I wanted to obey him. I didn't want him to stop. Maybe, it was a long shot but I was excited imagining that our relationship might just be rekindled. We're both grown-ups now and maybe we deserve a second shot. Maybe we could be like Noah and Allie. Despite my difficulty in getting those words out, I picked myself up and said it. "I love you"

"Say my name"

"I love you, Noel". I was out of breath and I should have reached for the oxygen mask right then but he suddenly pulled away from me. He went back to his seat and settled on it as if nothing happened.

"What happened? Is someone coming?" I asked wide-eyed and clueless.

"No," he said casually keeping his eyes to the front.

I was too wet and shocked that he left me abruptly. "Why did you stop so suddenly?" I grunted.

"Feeling Angry? Annoyed?" he said turning his head sharply at me. "It's just a taste of your own medicine, love. That's how it feels when someone fucks you up and leaves you mid-way"

I couldn't believe it. How did I believe him and give in to the moment? Did he just use me? Was everything he spoke a lie and that kiss for revenge too? I knew he was capable of doing things in spite but this - I never even dreamed of. I wanted to choke him right that moment but my body had frozen over in shock.

"I thought we were past that, Noel. I thought you grew up but you seem to be the same immature asshole you were"

He smirked and leaned back with his hands behind his head. He did not say a word but his smirk vexed me.

"Was any of this real?" I asked throwing the blanket back at him. "Speak!"

"Everything I said was real. Then and Now. I'm not sorry for what I just did. I wanted you to understand how devastated I was when you left me in a mess"

"Do you think I've been jolly?"

"I don't know but I would have never let our relationship end. I would have fought for it till the end. Come whatever may. But you just gave up"

"I had to"

"No! You didn't have to. You chose to" he paused. "And you chose to do it over a phone call and leave. Didn't I deserve a proper goodbye?"

I had no answer to that. He was right. He deserved much better than a breakup call. I should have given him a chance to fight or to reason with me. It was no better than completely ghosting him and leaving questions unanswered. I was a coward and I did it to protect myself, but I didn't think about him.

"I'm very sorry. I couldn't face you"

"When you said you wanted to break up, I first thought it was a joke. I didn't understand where it came from. There was no hint nor a fight. You could have fought with me, hit me till I understood, or at least waited a little bit more"

"I didn't want to fight. If you remember, that is why I left"

"Tell me which couple doesn't fight. I'm not the immature one here. You are", he got up from his seat and stormed away to the toilet.

I was left to my senses again in the glumness around. I wanted to scream and vent it out or at least talk to a friend about this deceit but I had no one except him to talk about him. Either I had to sulk in defeat or brace myself for whatever he was plotting away from me. I could avoid him entirely and wait for the journey to end or I could play along and see where it would go. But would it be another clever trap I might fall into again?

This time I wouldn't be blind to his trickery. I need to have a plan if he ever manages to outsmart me again. He fooled me once into thinking he was into me. He wouldn't do that again. He had raised the stakes higher and I had to be one step ahead and smarter. I could do the same thing he did to me. I wanted him to feel betrayed.

A few minutes passed and he walked quietly into his seat. He brought his hands over his head, cracked his neck to both sides, and moaned in relief. I knew he wanted to provoke me but I stayed observant and kept calculating my next move. I had to be very convincing and seize the moment when he was off guard.

But, I had only a few hours left.