Is there any reason for a lawyer from a large law firm like a major joint venture to find me?
I couldn't think of a reason I would know English.
Wait,
Could this be a new kind of scam? Saying there's something to take from me...
I can't believe a stranger from a single business card.
How did this woman find out my home address and contact information?
"Are you really a lawyer? You can make as many business cards like this as you want."
My tone with Goyoon-ah was in an interrogative form, like a detective in front of a suspect.
But Goyoon-ah had no reaction on her face as if this kind of response meant nothing to her.
She searched her briefcase again, took out a wallet, and handed me an identification card.
Lawyer Identification Card
Goyoon-ah
Korean Bar Association
"I think you can have enough suspicion. I know it's against the etiquette. However, the matter is so important that I had to meet you as soon as possible."
"Then, what about my personal information? Just because you're a lawyer doesn't mean you can know someone else's address."
"Are you asking how I found out your address, or are you talking about the legality of this visit?"
I shook my head.
"Alright. Did you say Goyoon-ah? Okay, I understand. Let's assume you really are a lawyer. So, why have you been coming to my place since Saturday morning? I haven't done anything illegal. I haven't even received a traffic ticket. I've never been involved in any incidents, let alone civil or criminal ones."
"It's about Han Young-soo's father."
"What?"
It was a sound that made me doubt my ears.
The word 'father' that Goyoon-ah mentioned.
Her lips were the trigger, and the word she spoke was like a bullet piercing into me.
"I don't have a father."
"No one in this world is born without a father."
Goyoon-ah's voice was calm.
"I know about Han Young-soo's circumstances. I've come to tell you things that Han Young-soo should definitely know as his personal attorney."
Confusion.
Who on earth was my father, that Goyoon-ah, the lawyer from Gwangwol Law Firm, personally visited me?
More importantly, why is she coming to find me now?
"To talk about it standing here would take a while. If it's not too much trouble, may I come in?"
"No."
I held out my hand to my chest to stop her.
"In the apartment complex, there's a Starbucks on the 1st floor of a nearby building. Let's meet there in 30 minutes. I need to gather my thoughts."
"A crowded place isn't the right setting for a private conversation."
"If the conversation is this important, a crowded place might be better. Nobody will pay attention to what we're saying."
I couldn't completely trust this woman.
What if I've been ensnared in a huge conspiracy right now?
Being in a place with people around might ensure some safety, rather than a secluded location.
That was my conclusion, as my brain struggled to keep its rationality intact.
Goyoon-ah nodded understandingly.
"Well then, I'll wait there. I'll see you when your thoughts are gathered."
After Goyoon-ah left and closed the door, I remained sitting on the living room floor.
I searched Goyoon-ah's name on an internet portal using my smartphone.
Even if she wasn't an official lawyer, legal professionals would show up if you typed in their names.
"What... is this?"
Goyoon-ah's identity was exactly as it appeared on the business card she gave me.
She was confidently listed in the people search directory of the portal I checked.
A graduate of Cornell Law School.
A beautiful lawyer from a prestigious university, with a video of her appearing on a major news channel for an exclusive interview.
I could be sure now.
This was neither a scam nor a grand conspiracy. It was the real deal.
I felt like I was standing amidst the ruins after a massive bombardment.
It wasn't until my mind had grown considerably stronger that Sister Hyeju had told me about it, but back then, when I was abandoned in front of the orphanage, I was probably still a newborn baby.
I wondered if I had just turned one year old, or if I was still a newborn, lying there in the ruins left behind after a violent bombing.
What kind of conscience did those heartless parents have to leave an innocent baby behind?
During my infancy, I had longed for my parents' love.
No matter how carefully Sister Hyeju took care of me, there was something that couldn't be filled.
Not all children in the orphanage were in the same situation.
Some of them had parents who were perfectly fine but left them at the orphanage due to their own circumstances.
I couldn't even envy those friends.
I cried a lot secretly, longing desperately for parents I didn't even know the faces of.
But things were different now.
Longing had turned into resentment, and even that resentment had become faint in the present me. The word 'parents' was just an abstract term.
As I sat on the floor lost in thought, time moved on toward the 30-minute mark I had promised Goyoon-ah.
Alright. Let's face it.
The hidden story of who my parents were.
How I was born.
And why they abandoned me.
*
"I apologize for making you wait."
"It's alright. You don't have to worry about me."
Goyoon-ah was seated in a corner, where two walls met at a right angle.
Her usually calm face was filled with an emotion, finally showing something after all the time I had known her.
Among the sounds of chatter from people around us, like a summer rain shower between us, we exchanged our conversation in silence.
I started by apologizing for making her wait.
Goyoon-ah had no reaction on her face as if this apology wasn't necessary.
She waited for me to speak first.
"You probably know a lot about my circumstances. How far do you know about them?"
"Basic personal information and your birth environment, to some extent. I know you grew up in a place called Jiae Orphanage in Gyeonggi Province."
If she had conducted any background checks, it was clear that this was true. But that wasn't important now.
"Well, you seem to know quite a bit. I, on the other hand, don't know the name or face of my biological father."
"...?"
"Anyone who was born after I turned 15, I've lived believing that they don't exist in this world."
Yeah.
Those people who I thought I'd never meet until the day I die.
It won't change.
"So, what about my biological mother?"
I spoke with a trembling voice.
Goyoon-ah slowly shook her head left and right, her expression unreadable.
"I don't know who your biological mother is. I only know that she passed away a long time ago."
I covered my face with both hands and let out a sigh.
My emotions surged uncontrollably like a hurricane, shaking my heart.
Did you feel any guilt at the end of your life?
If you did, you should have met me while you were still alive.
Whether it's an excuse or an apology, you should have had something to say to me in your own words.
To appear now through someone else's mouth, what should I do with you?
"But what about my father?"
I spoke with a voice still trembling.
Goyoon-ah shook her head left and right, very slowly.
"He passed away suddenly on the 20th of this month at 2:15 a.m."
"He's dead?"
He's dead?
A feeling I couldn't describe in words tightened around my heart.
What guilt did you feel at the very end of your life?
If you felt any, you should have lived and met me.
How could you appear after you died, leaving me to deal with this news from someone else's lips?
"My biological mother, then."
I said with a shaky voice.
Goyoon-ah nodded slightly, barely perceptible.
"I don't know anything about her either. All I know is that she passed away a long time ago."
I let out a deep sigh.
My heart was shaken like a young tree in front of an approaching typhoon.
If someone were to shake me just a bit more, it felt like even my roots would be pulled out.
"Mr. Young-soo. I have no choice but to tell you this, and I apologize deeply and sincerely."
I looked up and met Goyoon-ah's eyes.
The emotions in her eyes were genuine, something I had never seen before in the time I had known her.
There was sadness in her expression.
It was strange.
For the first time, Goyoon-ah, who had been expressionless during our entire meeting, was revealing an emotion.
There was a hint of sorrow in her face that made it seem like she could burst into tears at any moment, like a summer rain shower.
Seeing her face like that, my own heart began to calm down.
"No, it's not your fault. There's nothing for the lawyer to apologize for. Since I was fifteen, I've lived thinking that there's no one in the world who bore me."
Yeah.
Those people who I was convinced I would never meet as long as I lived.
Nothing's changed.
"Actually, Young-soo. I had no choice but to say this, and I apologize deeply."
Goyoon-ah's voice shook.
I was the one who was no longer waiting for her to speak; she was waiting for me now.
"I'll lower my voice. As you and I both know, no one seems to care about us, but this is an important conversation."
Perhaps during the silence, she had adjusted her emotions because her tone had returned to its original, calm state.
She pulled her chair closer to me and leaned toward me.
"You know Chairman Jang Young-bok, right?"
"Who?"
"Chairman Jang Young-bok. The one from Taesang Group."
"Is there anyone in Korea who doesn't know him?"
"Don't be surprised, and please listen."
Her lips parted slowly.
"Your biological father is Chairman Jang Young-bok, the one I mentioned."