1 "The Day Of"

I was not surprised of the events that would take place today. Or what would be expected of me. This is the only thing I was qualified to do. I was the eldest girl in my family and have turned 21. In the eyes of the world I was an old maid who no man wanted as a wife. I was hindering my younger sisters from aquireing husband's. So when the matchmaker said a match was arranged, my father did what ever he could to appease the groom.

"Good morning Lady Daphne" my maid Essie was the only person in my world who truly knew me. She has always cared for me."It's the day" She was not excited and I assumed I knew why. "I am to prepare you for the ceremony in one hour, then you will breakfast and be on your way to your new home." She had to stay behind. She and I had never been apart, and the thought was agonizing for the both of us.

"He arrived late last night" She had a twinkle in her eye while she gossiped "He thundered through the corridors looking for his room I assumed. I had just left you and saw him pass. He is tall. So very tall, and his face as hard as stone. But I admit he's handsome." She stopped what she was doing and nelt before me and whispered "Do all I taught you, Stand tall, be agreeable and kind. And surely you will be alright."

Those were the last words we shared alone.

I was not privileged to have a large wedding and feast because of my age and inconvenience. I wore my clothes for travel and was married to a stranger next to a breakfast table.

After the ceremony had ended we sat in a room alone to eat breakfast while my family went along with their daily routine. I didn't have much of an appetite with the thoughts of travel and learning how to appease a husband on my mind. But I did my best.

We did not exchange any words, once he was ready to leave he stood. I right behind him, following him to our carriage. The only person to see me off was Essie.

She grabbed me quickly and pulled me into her. "Speak for him. And he will be kind, I'm sure! " she released me and I nodded.

He waited outside the carriage, impatiently tapping his foot. As I came next to him he offered his hand to me, I looked to him and nodded with gratitude as he helped me. I still had yet looked him in the eye.

As we drove away, I began to feel tears running down my cheek. I was not sad to leave, but I was terrified to go. What kind of man was I now tied to for the rest of my life? What would I do without my sweet Essie?

For an hour we sat silent.

"I was told you're unable to speak" He was looking straight at me and I was so scared I could barely breathe. I nodded yes. Only Essie and myself knew it wasn't true. I have a very sharp brain and tongue. But after countless beatings for my words I stopped speaking.

"I was also told you speak to your Lady's Maid Essie....Is this also true" My eyes fluttered around before they made their way to him. I nodded yes. My stomach began to sink and I felt ill. What would he do if I didn't say a word. "I don't know why you choose to be silent, but I will not force myself upon you. In anyway."

We sat in silence for hours, and as the sun began to fade we found an inn for the evening.

It was a strange thing, being alone in a bedroom with a man. I knew it was normal to have these feelings, but all the other feelings mixed together where strange. I had so many questions I wish Essie were here to answer. But I knew it was time to follow his lead, and pray he was gentle.

"Can I help you undress?" He asked. The stern face that was apparent at our wedding had melted away. He had kind eyes, green like sparkling emeralds. I have never seen eyes like those. I nodded and he approached with caution.

He untied each knot slowly, and carefully. Pulling away at each button on my sleeves with caution. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. My stomach in knots, knowing what would happen once I had everything removed. He pulled everything over my head and left me standing naked in the center of the room. I waited for the instructions to enter the bed but instead was handed a fine sleeping gown. It was made with the most beautiful material I had ever seen, it melted onto my skin and felt like nothing was there.

"This is a gift. I hope it is to your liking. I am not well aware of what the finer sex enjoys" I slipped it over my head and sighed in comfort. "Please sleep in the bed, I will sleep here by the fire." My heart softened at those words. "I will only come into bed with you if you have invited me. I know the fear of being trapped, truly no light at the end of the tunnel.....What I am trying to say is, you're not my prisoner or my property. I want you to feel like you have choice."

Could he really be this kind? Did he truly want me to feel safe. I had to show him I wanted to try, I wanted us to be happy together if that were even possible. I reached out for him as he passed me to lay by the fire. I missed, and he didn't even seem to notice. He sat on his knees arranging the bed on the floor. I made my way next him and sat. He froze in his spot, staring at me. Eyes wide, waiting for my next move.

I laid my hand on top of his, and for the first time really understood how much larger he was then I. For a minute all I could do was stare at our hands. We were together yet so far apart. Feeling his eyes all over me I knew what I needed to do. I needed to speak up. My words were the only true thing I had control over, until now. I was terrified, but I wanted to honor Essie's command.

I looked up to find his eyes locked onto me. He seemed eager to see what I had instore.

"Where you sleep, is where I sleep."

He lifted his hand and my heart began to pound. He quickly brought it to my face and touched me with every ounce of kindness. He brought my face to his and kissed my mouth. It was slow, and soft. I felt a tingling sensation in the bottom of my stomach I had never felt before.

He invited me to lay down against him, and I followed his motions. We moved, shifted wiggled on the floor into a comfortable position. His arm holding my body close to his, while my head was on his chest. He took a deep breath and sighed, I could hear the relief in that sigh. Was he as worried as I was about how compatible we would be?

I feel asleep in his arms by the warmth of the fire. He spoke of his life, his childhood but all I could truly hear was his heart beat. Strong and steady, until I drifted off into sleep. He did not seem to care if I spoke again. He did not ask me a single thing, just filled the quiet with his stories. Why was he so kind to me? I did nothing to deserve his kindness. And yet, I was beginning to long for it. His words and touch were like warm milk lulling me into a dream. I pray that this dream can continue.