2.
a/n: I wrote this directly after chapter 1.5, but I'm publishing once the arts are down, so if you wonder why it takes so long, that's why. Please don't be mad at me or the artists. They take their time, which is fine; anyway, enjoy! Ps. I have nothing against the character Velvette. I love her, but my character might have had a bad relationship with her initially.
Trigger warning: vulgar language.
Kookie
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It seems like you're setting up a scene in a vivid and colorful world with distinct characters. Let's work on refining the dialogue and adding more depth to the characters and their surroundings. Here's a revised version:
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Falling felt like a descent into a nightmare, the memory of where I'd come from haunting me until darkness enveloped everything. Then, unexpectedly, the sharp scent of strong perfume pierced through the void, assaulting my senses.
When I finally opened my eyes, I blinked against the harsh light, feeling every ache and pain in my body.
"Finally awake, huh? Thought you'd kicked the bucket," came a voice, dripping with teenage annoyance.
That wasn't Adeline.
Turning my head, I found myself facing a woman with dark skin and hair dyed in vibrant hues of blue and pink.
I attempted to sit up, only to be met with a wave of pain that forced me back down onto what I now recognized as a couch. "Shit!" I hissed through clenched teeth.
"Careful there. You took quite the tumble. Where'd you come from, anyway? Unless you're some suicidal freak who just landed here in hell?" The woman's tone was brash, but there was a hint of curiosity in her eyes.
I winced, but managed to reply, "I'm not suicidal. I came from heaven."
The woman's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Damn. What'd you do to piss off God?"
"None of your business," I retorted, my irritation growing.
"No need to be pissy. I'm Velvette," she said, her attention already shifting to her cell device.
"Kookie. Kookie Hartfelt," I replied tersely.
"Kookie, huh? Doesn't match your vibe," she remarked, not bothering to look up.
I bit back a sharp retort, instead choosing to look around the room. It resembled a bizarre mix of a My Little Pony set and a fashion boutique.
"Where am I?" I asked, realizing I should've started with that question.
"Vee's tower," Velvette replied, her tone bored.
"And where exactly is that?"
Velvette sighed, pocketing her device. "You're in the pride ring in Pentagram City. Hell. You can stay here until you're better, but then you're on your own."
A sense of determination washed over me. "Thank you."
She nodded curtly before leaving the room, leaving me to ponder my situation. I tried to push away thoughts of being a sinner and focused on the task ahead: redemption.
As I lay there, I couldn't help but wonder what trials awaited me in this strange new world. But for now, all I could do was rest and wait for the pain to subside, hoping that redemption was within reach.
[Third person]
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Velvette walked briskly through the halls of The Vee's tower, her fingers tapping away on her phone as she approached Vox's office. She knew he'd be there, probably obsessing over Alastor like some kind of deranged Yandere.
Without bothering to knock, Velvette pushed the doors open and strode inside. Vox glanced up briefly from the TV screens that adorned his office walls, displaying every corner of the Hazbin Hotel.
"Yes, Velvette?" Vox's attention barely lingered on her as he returned to his surveillance.
Velvette rolled her eyes at Vox's single-minded focus before shutting the door behind her. "I found someone who might be useful to you and your... Stalking habits," she said, ignoring Vox's irritated groan. "His name is Kookie Hartfelt, and he seems to be related to Alastor somehow."
"I'm not stalking, Velvette. I'm monitoring," Vox corrected her, taking a sip from his 'fuck Alastor' coffee cup.
"Same thing, dickwad," Velvette muttered under her breath, examining the cold coffee in disgust.
"Who is this person, and why should I care?" Vox asked, setting his cup down.
"You could use him to get to Alastor. Maybe dig up some dirt on his past, find his weaknesses, you know?" Velvette suggested, perching herself on the arm of Vox's chair.
Vox considered her proposal with a devious glint in his eyes. "Where is this relative of Alastor?" he inquired.
"He's resting in my room. Took quite a fall from heaven, apparently," Velvette replied nonchalantly.
Vox's interest piqued at the mention of a fallen angel. "Take me to him," he demanded, his determination evident.
Velvette grinned. Finally, something to stir up some chaos in the monotonous underworld. She led Vox out of the office, eager to see what mischief they could brew up together.
Kookie
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The scenario you've crafted is rich with detail and tension. Let's refine the dialogue and interactions to enhance the dynamics between Kookie, Vox, and Velvette, and deepen the intrigue of the situation.
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I heard a voice calling out to me, initially resembling Alastor's before morphing into Adeline's. Strange how it shifted from them to that annoying voice I thought was only in my nightmares. Slowly, I opened my eyes, wincing against the harsh brightness. There stood Velvette, accompanied by a figure with a TV for a head. Not exactly a reassuring sight.
"Good morning, sleepyhead. Someone wants to speak to you," Velvette announced, gesturing towards the TV-headed person. He smiled, though it seemed neither genuine nor sinister. A bad sign, indeed.
"Hello, I'm Vox. And I suppose you're Kookie?" The TV-headed man spoke, though it felt more like a formality than genuine curiosity.
I nodded cautiously, eyeing him warily as Velvette excused herself from the room. As I sat up, the pain dulled but still present, Vox leaned forward.
"So, your last name is Hartfelt, correct?" Vox inquired, prompting me to nod in confirmation. His next question caught me off guard. "Good, so I suppose you are related to Alastor Hartfelt?"
"Yeah, he's my husband," I replied, a flicker of excitement at someone knowing him flashing through me.
Vox's eyes widened in surprise. "Husband? Well, that's interesting," he murmured, a hint of something unreadable in his expression.
Confused by his reaction, I answered his next question about my descent from heaven. But Vox's interest seemed to peak at the mention of my desperate act to save my daughter.
"Well, lucky for you, I'm making something that could get people into heaven, and you could be the first tester!" Vox exclaimed, his excitement palpable.
Suspicion crept into my mind. "And what do you gain from this?" I asked, crossing my arms.
Vox's grin turned sinister. "You could help me with something before you head off. It's just a small favor," he replied, fingers pressed together as if measuring its insignificance.
"And that is...?" I prompted, wary of his intentions.
"I need you to be a spy for me," Vox stated bluntly, his eyes gleaming with malice. "Spy on Alastor Hartfelt, make sure he doesn't make a deal with the princess, Charlie. In return, I'll help you get back to heaven to see your daughters."
I hesitated, my mind racing with doubts and fears. But Vox's ultimatum left me with no choice.
"What happens if I don't agree?" I challenged, steeling myself against his manipulative tactics.
Vox's expression darkened. "Then you'll be stuck down here with no way out," he replied bluntly.
Defeated, I reached out, sealing the deal with Vox. The sensation of blue light enveloped me, leaving me feeling strangely hollow.
As Vox exited the room, leaving me to contemplate my decision, Velvette returned with pain medication and a somber expression.
"He convinced you, didn't he?" she murmured, her voice tinged with pity.
I nodded silently, feeling a pang of regret.
She handed me a mirror, revealing the change in my eyes—a stark reminder of the pact I'd made.
"It will change back once the deal is done, right?" I asked, seeking reassurance.
"Yeah," Velvette confirmed, her tone heavy with resignation.
As she handed me a cell device, I marveled at the unfamiliar technology. But Velvette's revelation about the current year left me stunned.
"Holy shit," I muttered, realizing just how much had changed since my time on Earth. And just how far I had yet to go to reclaim my former life.