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"Greta asleep?" he ignores my question entirely and instead walks past me and pours a glass of water. Seemingly at home in these surroundings and overtaking my space. Obviously, he's read something in my demeanor, and he's playing it how he deems necessary while I'm this way. Sometimes it's a curse that he knows all versions of past me so well, and I scowl at his back and try to figure out his next move

"No, she's probably got her ear pressed to the door. Will come rolling out should you annoy me in any way to attack you with a bedside lamp." I sulk his way.

"I should have Bryant come and distract her then while I drag you somewhere private so we can talk. The guy is smitten." He winks at me, smirking and ignoring my lack of humor, from over his shoulder. I eyeroll and dump my glass on the nearest surface before stalking to the window and looking outside to avoid his gaze. Tensing and dealing with a heart rate that's probably close to significant cardiac arrest levels.

"Just say whatever it is and leave. I'm not in the mood. It's late, and I'm tired."

"Still a feisty little diva at times that knows how to make me walk on eggshells when you're upset." Jyeon completely ignores my hostility and comes to stand behind me once more. Close enough it makes my skin goosebump all over, but he doesn't touch me this time. There must be at least half a foot's width between us, yet it's still suffocating to have him invade my air this way. His breath tickles the back of my hair, and I know he's as close as humanly possible while I try to avoid his reflection in the glass before me as he towers over my much smaller height.

"I went there and saw what I needed to see. Said only what I needed to say to her. Then I met with Bryant after he dropped you guys off, and we tracked down her family to come to sit with her. We had to drive there to get hold of them, on the very outskirts of the city. I never went back to the hospital with them. I don't intend to either. I just needed to know how serious it was because I caused it. I wanted to know if this was for attention or if she meant it and tell her this isn't the way to make me care. Bryant is moving her to the Hong Kong research unit we opened there last year as soon as he can in the hopes she resigns. She's going away once she gets over this. Whether she wants to or not…. I told you that my priority is you. I know I created this mess, and I handled it shittily… I'm trying to fix it now. I'm not good at any of this. I never exactly had a good role model of how to be a loving husband who wasn't a selfish asshole, but I'm trying."

His words stab me in the heart, and my eyes mist over with tears at how much he gets under my skin. The relief in his words, the confession of his flaws in them, and the unbearable pain that comes with it because I can deny, deny, but tonight hurt me more than I could ever admit to Greta.

Him running to her, leaving me… it wounded me and reminded me of how vulnerable and easy to break I am when he's part of the equation. I don't want to be held in his power that way ever again. Even if now he's soothing me with a balm and pulling me back to him like he keeps doing, it needs to stop. I'm losing my sanity with how useless I am in fighting him.

"I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to go home and stop…. stop how all of this messes me up and ruins my brain. I want to return to my peaceful life and have some normal back." I utter it more to myself in a breathy and exhausting blur of words. My voice breaks with the genuine raw pain that comes with my confusion. I'm so afraid to trust him ever again and not willing to stay and endure this anymore, yet even saying it rips my heart open and makes me bleed at the thought of going.

"I know I keep fucking everything up. I'm trying, Sohla. To do the right thing and prove to you how much I want you back. You seem to be remembering more and more and …. just give me a little time. For your memories, for me to prove how much I love you. I can feel it between us still, that you have feelings for me too. Give it a chance to grow, please…. Don't run away because I'm an idiot who does things wrong and hurts you without meaning to. I'm sorry. I'll learn… I'll change what needs to be changed. Just give me a chance."

I close my eyes as a tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. Ripped open by his pleading and sincere tone, his genuine remorse and apology. His needing to fix this craziness that exists between us. The way he hovers close but keeps his hands to himself because he knows I'm upset at him, and Sohla of old didn't like touch when she was this strung out. He breaks me up repeatedly, and it strengthens why I need to end this. He's inside my brain like a virus and controls and pulls me in ways I cannot refuse. I was stupid to think I could ever resist the one man in the world who has always had full possession of my heart.

I push him back with my elbows and turn, sliding away from him, unable to lay my eyes on his face and aching all over. Pain and heaviness shoot up into my stomach because I've decided now, and I have to see it through. Sickened at what I have to do to make it happen, and Greta was right; I know this will hurt him more, but I'm not going to hide it anymore. This will be the way to cut him off, make him let go. I know him. He won't forgive the lies and deceit.

"I'm not remembering, Jyeon." I blink to stem the onslaught of woeful tears, looking for strength. Swallowing hard and clasp my hands together to stop them from shaking so badly.

"What do you mean? Yes, you are…. you remembered a lot more about Tia, about working for OLO…you're slowly coming back, and I see the old you in flickers sometimes. You told Claire about my father's death. You remembered mother…." He sounds confused, following me as I try to put distance between us, but I lift my palm to tell him to stay away. Struggling for breath and knowing I can only keep this up if he doesn't come to me. I'm hanging on by a thread.

"I've been lying this whole time to you, to Bryant….to everyone here. Greta knows too. She always did."

"What are you saying?" He steps towards me, taking my hand to bring it down between us, and smothers it with his larger one. Finding my skin cold because I'm stressed, and he pulls it to his other hand and covers me with both to warm it. Eyeing me up with a slightly amused glint in his eye as though I'm merely having a tantrum.

"Stop it." I yank it free, hating how much he pays attention to the most minor details, and run my fingers through my hair. Agitated and growing worse by the second. "I've been lying… about everything. All of this….us." I snap it in anger…using my words like bullets.

Jyeon doesn't say anything, but his face calms to a serious blank pause, his mind going at a hundred miles an hour, and observes me carefully. He seems to be reading that whatever this is, it's more than me being upset about tonight. More than jealousy and the tell-tale flicker of his eyebrow makes me hate myself for this.

"I lied about...." I choke on my own words as they strangle me with ferocity, and my chest throbs with slicing pain at what I'm about to do. This is harder than I thought it would be.

"About what?" Jyeon's voice wavers, sudden innocence and blind faith flitting across the boyish face that's never really changed. I see the flicker of doubt and fear in his eye as he scans my face, and it only makes me feel a hundred times worse. I'm wielding a knife and aiming right for his heart.

"My memory…. Amnesia…." It's a painful and soft admission, tears forming and my cheeks ache with the effort of holding it all in. Shaking internally and knowing I can't take it back once I tell him, that he may hate me for it, but that's the point.

"What are you saying?" His voice resembles mine, his eyes mist over, and I catch the slight twitch of his jawline as he fights whatever he's feeling inside. His body stiffening. Obvious signs that it's causing him distress.

"I didn't forget anything… not for a second. I didn't stay away because I didn't know about you anymore….. there was never a second that I didn't know who I was or where I came from. The amnesia was a lie to hide me from the world. I stayed away because I didn't want to come back to you, and I thought it would be best for both of us if I were dead." my own words splice my soul in two, and I can't hold back the tears as they escape, dripping down my face. Vibrating all over with the sheer effort of saying this to him, he stands motionless, staring at me openly as though he didn't quite hear what I said.

Jyeon drops his gaze to the floor between us, his posture slumping, frowning hard, and swallows as he tries to control his outer response to my confession. Reeling it in to retain his composure. I can feel the way it sinks in and changes his entire mood and mannerisms to a colder and hurt Jyeon of old. Trying to protect himself from my brutal assault. He swallows hard again, inhales heavily, and rubs his hand through his hair without looking at me. He's having a moment of disbelief and then acute agony as he thinks through that I chose to let him suffer for two whole years that I had no intention of ever seeing him again. Despite my love for him, I wanted him to believe I was gone forever.

"Did you hear me? I always knew who you were and where you were. I knew you would think I was dead, yet I didn't come back. I didn't care if it hurt you. I didn't want to see you again. I didn't want my job, home, money, family, or husband." I grab at cold and icy, yet no matter how hard I try to put that mask on and adopt my old persona, I can't. Seeing him standing motionless while he processes my cruel words is complete agony. It hurts me as much as it hurts him.