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I walk away and stand by the corner of the bookcase as he seems to pull himself back together physically. Flicking a glance my way and exhaling like he's disappointed by their arrival. I ignore him, well aware I was just saved from a colossal mistake, and concentrate on self-calming the internal chaos he caused with what he almost did to me.

The main door, which faces side on from where I am, is opened, and two figures wander in arm in arm. Yoonah supports his mother as though she has difficulty walking and wheeling in a case with them. They are semi-concealed by the low glass separator that makes the open-plan space into a defined hall and living room where they stop to remove their shoes. Oblivious to my presence at all because of the way they are facing. I watch in wide-eyed silence, my heart erupting with nerves as the two people who used to be my everything take off their outer wear, turning my insides to absolute mush. I find it hard to stay composed at seeing them in the flesh once more.

Jyeon moves to them, seemingly once again uptight and rigid in posture, and closes the gap. Bringing a startled mother to snap her chin up and look at him. Her face is scrunching up with confusion.

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?" She's surprised, her voice weak, and it's obvious she doesn't usually have his presence in this house. Yet my focus is wholly zoned in on her side profile, with a horrified expression. Blinking at what I see.

She's aged so much in just two years to the point I can't believe it. Her glossy black hair is now salt and pepper with more grey than black and pulled back from her face in a French roll that only highlights it. Her face, always free of blemish, is now wrinkled, dry, and she has shadows where she's hollowed out from losing weight. Her makeup doesn't conceal how haggard she's become. She looks sickly, not the vibrant and intimidating woman I once knew.

"Mom, there's someone here to see you. I need you to stay calm and not freak out. I didn't know how else to do this, so don't be mad, okay." Jyeon's instantly cautious, keeping his distance, although he does reach out and take her hand like it's fragile crystal. Seeming like he's not comfortable around her like he once was and very attentive to her slight mannerisms. Yoonah pops his head up by her shoulder and gazes at his brother with a curious frown.

"Hey... what's this all about? What do you mean?"

Yoonah looks like Yoonah. Still a handsome and boyish version of Jyeon as they were always similar, only his pudgy cuteness has gone, and he seems more like a man now. He, too, has slimmed down and seems to have lost some of his youth and weight in the last two years. He has slight crinkles around his eyes as though time has not been good to him. The two of them are not as familiar to me as Jyeon was. Jyeon is the only one who looks exactly as he was two years ago, and I wonder why that is.

"I was right…. About Sohla…" Jyeon starts, turning to nod my way in my concealed hiding spot, where I recoil nervously, and yet mother doesn't let him finish.

"Stop it, stop it…. Stop saying it. I don't want to hear. Why do you do this to us? Say these things? She's gone, Jyeon!!! Accept it." She covers her ears and reverts to a tearful child acting like she's about to have a petulant tantrum. Her voice is wracked with pain that makes my throat ache with a sudden choking lump. I falter about moving forward, but something inside of me holds me back.

"Don't tell me lies, Jyeon. We found her body. Just please let me grieve my child and stop hurting my heart." She whimpers, and Yoonah embraces her carefully from the side. Wrapping his arm about her narrow shoulders, glaring at his brother as though he's being unnecessarily cruel. There's a tense moment of pause between the two men as though transmitting a subconscious message, and then Yoonha croons at her.

"It's okay, Momma. Breathe…. Jyeon's just unable to let go, that's all…. there's no malice in it. He misses her."

I can't take it anymore. Jyeon opens his mouth with a deep inhale to try again, and I know I'm the one with the ability to rip off the band-aid. No words can have the same effect as me showing myself to them.

"Mother. Yoonah. I'm over here." I call to them from where I stand. My legs turn to Jell-o, and I start vibrating with nerves, clasping my hands in front of me and fidgeting. My blood runs cold with the fear of their reaction, and my heavy weight of two years' worth of guilt turns my feet to lead.

Yoonah is the first to snap his head my way. His eyes widen as he gasps, and all the color drains from his face. It's the reaction of someone who has just seen a ghost. He becomes a statue and seems to stop breathing altogether. Breaking my heart with how traumatized he seems at seeing me.

Mother slowly turns as though every movement she makes is effort, and she's too delicate to hurry. Her eyes sweep me, and they look so lost and sad for a second before they too widen in disbelief. Her mouth falls open, and she clutches her heart and then wobbles as her legs give way. Her body crumbles delicately with the shock.

Yoonah and Jyeon grab her between them, catching her arms and pulling her to rights while supporting her, and yet her eyes don't leave my face. There's a weird moment of silence as they take in what they're seeing, and her lip starts to tremble uncontrollably. Yanking my heart through my chest and I too begin to well up.

I know I look different. I'm softer… my clothing is a feminine floral summer dress, and my hair is three times as long as it was. Its natural black compared to the lightened, highlighted, and layered cut of before. I wear no make-up anymore, and I'm sun-tinted, rosy-cheeked, and healthy from being outdoors by the sea. A complete contrast to who I used to be. I became a simple village girl who cared more about her heart than her appearance, and it shows in the way my entire being glows.

"It can't be…." Yoonah breathes out in shock, unable to tear his broken and confused expression off his face. Mother, however, is the first to make a move. Pushing her sons' hands from her frail body with a burst of renewed vigor and coming at me with speed. Her legs are finding strength, and she practically runs to me like a giddy child while her face is sodden with instant rolling tears.

"Sohla? My Sohla? My little girl. You came home to me." She bursts into sobs as she closes the gaps between us, throwing herself at me and wrapping her arms around my neck and upper body, gripping me with vice-like strength. I'm bowled back but manage to support her weight, stopping us from colliding with the bookcase, and don't resist as she clings to me like a lifebuoy.

My senses are knocked for six, and I'm unsure how to react. Inwardly confused and awkward, unable to process their reactions to me. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this. Not while I've been harboring pain that they all forgot about me and moved on with their lives. That they might have orchestrated my departure.

I'm being hugged to death by a hysterically emotional woman as she clings to me and wails. Rubbing her hand over my back and hair and patting me with the other. Like I'm a child who needs reassurance. Yoonha breaks his trance and follows, running at us and joining the huddle to squeeze the life out of me. Hitting us with less force and wrapping us both up in a smothering huddle of arms.

I'm not immune to hugging anymore, but I literally cannot raise my arms or move because of my two captors having an emotional break on top of me. Words fail me as I don't know what to say to them. Tears fill my eyes, and my heart aches, but I try to remain composed, aware of Jyeon watching me from the door while giving them space.

"It's really you? Sohla? It's really you?" Yoonha pulls back and cups my face as gently as if he's holding bubbles, turning it from side to side as he examines me, as though I might be an imposter. Or that he might shatter this illusion because I'm made of smoke and mirrors.

"Where have you been? Why didn't you come home to me? Do you know how much we missed you, silly girl?" Mother wails, her head resting side on against my shoulder and far from okay. Breaking me and pounding my head and heart to bits with the sheer weight of remorse and regret.

I feel like I'm in shock or having some delayed reaction because I don't know what to do or say.

"Mom, Yoonie, give her some breathing space and let me explain. She's had a tough time getting back here, and she's still frazzled. Sit down. She's not going anywhere, and yes….. it's really her. This isn't an illusion." Jyeon walks over to us, dabbing his cheek with the back of his curled hand to hide the evidence of his own emotions, and immediately starts untangling them from me. Acting as savior and pulling Yoonah back first, to stand him on his own two feet, before loosening my octopus-limbed mother-in-law so I can move.

Mother is relentless and holds onto my arm, tugging me with her when he guides her to a seat, and I can only follow with mute obedience. Disconnected from this scene. Hauled down to sit with her as she snakes both her arms around my one and rests her head on my shoulder. She's turned into a needy and sensitive mess, and I can't connect her to the woman who used to rule my life.

"It's really me. Sohla Park….. I swear." I mumble them her way, shyly, strangely.

Yoonah stands where we were, watching me like a hawk, and swallows hard, three times in a row, shocked to his core. His eyes never shifting and yet I cannot read his expression because it seems to hide a million different reactions in one. He doesn't seem able to process this or let it sink at all.

"Sohla washed up on an island about fifteen miles from here after the accident. She had amnesia and only recently regained memories of who she was. She's lived in a small village and been taken care of by her friend. A girl I brought to the city with her. She had no idea who she was or where she came from, so she stayed there and got better. The crash…it was an accident; she didn't deliberately try to hurt herself." Jyeon doesn't miss a beat, and I catch the flicker of guilt and hesitation in his eye that always showed when he tried to lie. It makes me rethink things he's said the past few days because I was so sure he had lost his tell when he's dishonest, but it doesn't seem so. I just don't know if it's in relation to my memory or that it was an accident, and I narrow my eyes on his face.

"You washed up.... Fifteen miles away." Yoonah repeats it robotically and stares intensely at me, his eyes filling with tears that roll down his tan cheeks. "You fell into the river and washed out to sea. And forgot us." His words are lifeless strange, and Jyeon moves to his side and slides an arm around his shoulders. Comforting him with genuine warmth.

"She's alive. That's all that matters now. She's here, we found her….and she's home." Jyeon's voice wavers, and I'm pulled by mother into another embrace and given a full maternal hug as she levers my head onto her chest and starts stroking my hair. In all the years I have known this woman, she never really behaved like this. She hugged me once in my life when my parents died. It's like I have no say or control over my limbs, and I allow myself to flop into her hold, my thoughts at war with one another and more confused now than this morning.

"God is powerful. He brought my angel home…. My little Sohla, my precious, beautiful, little Sohla." She was never religious, but I guess she found god after my leaving. Mother's voice seems incredibly childish as she talks through tears, and I squint at Jyeon and the concerned way he watches her.

Suspicion and doubt arm in arm yet being kicked in the ass by conflicting behaviors.

"I don't know what to say…." I hesitate, finding my voice croaky because I am emotionally overwhelmed and allow myself to be pulled around like a rag doll with no mind.

"It's really you." Yoonah crumbles. His legs give way, and he folds to the floor out of Jyeon's arms, landing in a heap of disarray, and starts weeping. Covering his face with both hands as his brother sweeps down to continue consoling him with a hug and back rub. Breaking the dam, it seems he has been holding in.

"It'll take a bit to let it sink in. You and mom both. Sohla is here… really. She never died. She was just lost. We have a second chance with her to make everything right." Jyeon lifts his head and looks me dead in the eye, glazed over and swallowing hard with his choked-up hurt. Relaying a message to me that he has meant every word from the second he found me, and I should trust in him and the reactions of the family I left behind.

I don't even know what I believe anymore.