Chapter 64: Cool

Prytaneum

Cool​

"Mr. Percy, this is all Lili's fault," Lili said once Hestia dragged me home, having been waiting for the news we'd bring. I guess we couldn't really stay after the whole 'declare war on our Familia' thing, but I was still annoyed at Apollo for it, both because I hadn't had much time to speak to the other gods I was interested in or advertise my wares and because I hadn't had a chance to eat anything. Granted, I was still suspicious of anything served at a party like this, but if I'd known Apollo was going to try something like this, I'd have stuffed my face anyway, just to be petty. Instead, I was forced to raid our fridge for food and it was a bit lacking, on account of me being lazy about filling it in my downtime.

That part, I couldn't really blame on Apollo, but I did anyway. Seriously, what an asshole.

"Hm?" I asked as I rooted around in the fridge for anything salvageable. It was mostly leftovers that I'd never gotten around to eating, which had fallen into a vicious cycle, as I grew less inclined to eat them by the day. I found a few snacks though, which fell in a different category entirely—they weren't leftovers, I just hadn't finished eating them yet. There were these treats that Hestia and I were both fond of, basically balls of chocolate-like stuff that were filled with yogurt-like stuff. It was made out of something from the Dungeon which, really, went a long way towards justifying the Dungeon's existence, but I didn't question it too much beyond that, because they were good, if expensive.

Could you tell I was hungry?

"Mr. Percy and Lady Hestia would never have gotten involved in this if they hadn't taken Lili in—this is all because of Lili's misdeeds," She replied to my confusion. "The two of you shouldn't have to pay for Lili's actions just because you showed Lili kindness; Lili will—"

"Oh, the War Game thing," I said, taking out a bottle of water, simply because it worked better for me than anything with caffeine or sugar in it and was probably better for me anyway. "Don't worry about it—that's just Apollo being a jackass."

"I'm inclined to agree with Percy," Hestia said, still looking angry, and I gestured towards her with my bottle as if she'd proven my argument. "All this work, all this set up, and the timing…this can't just be about you, Lili. Did you ever even rob anyone in the Apollo Familia?"

"…Probably?" Lili replied, sounding uncertain. "Lili is ashamed to say that she does not recall everyone from whom she stole, Lady Hestia."

I was pretty sure she meant that she was ashamed that it was coming back to bite us in the ass now, rather than the fact that she'd actually stolen it, but that was neither here nor there. Besides, I thought as I ate my snack and watched her absently, she was more apologetic about it than Conner or Travis ever had been or would be, regardless of the circumstances. I was probably biased, but as a demigod I'd taken my fair share of stuff too—food, money, cars, and so on—in the pursuit of staying alive, so I didn't really feel upset about the thefts, either, though I tried to avoid getting innocent people involved with my messes as much as possible. And if Lili'd been treated the way I'd heard, then screw them, whoever they were.

"Even then, how would they have found out about such a thing?" Hestia asked, shaking her head in irritation. "You have that spell of yours, Lili—your Cinder Ella. You said that you did most of your thefts while disguised, didn't you? Unless it was a very recent one, how would they have realized it was you only now?"

"Lili has no recollection of robbing anyone in the Apollo Familia recently," She replied. "No, at the very least, Lili can be sure she hasn't robbed any such person within the last six months. However, as for how she might have been discovered…under the circumstances and given the abrupt changes being made in the Soma Familia, it's not unlikely that some of Lili's former Familia might hold a grudge."

"A grudge?" I asked, blinking. "Against you or me?"

Lili paused, apparently having to consider that for a moment.

"Both of us, I suppose," She replied at last. "The fact of the matter is that Mr. Percy overthrew Zanis and Soma decided to take a more active part in his Familia as a result of our actions. Even beyond the penalties of the Guild which have already heavily limited the production and distribution of Soma, Soma himself has already changed how it is given to members of the Familia and how they are expected to behave. Whether out of anger, desperation, or a desire for money, it's possible that someone may have given information about Lili to the Apollo Familia, as well as others."

"Ugh, how annoying," I said with a grimace. "It's not like I mind playing games, really, but…I'm too busy to waste my time on Apollo's whims. That guy obviously has a lot of free time, but I have better things to do than play around with him. Hestia, is it alright if we just say no to that guy? If possible, I'd rather not deal with him right now."

"…It should be," Hestia said, though she was frowning as if something was bothering her. "Legally, we aren't forced to accept such a thing and there are no penalties for declining, either. A War Game is, as the name says, a game agreed upon between two gods. I already rejected Apollo, so it should be fine…?"

"Then what's wrong?" I asked, noticing the look on her face.

"Apollo isn't known for giving up on things easily," She said. "He attempted to court me in Heaven multiple times and I had to ignore him for quite some time before he went away. I can't imagine he's changed much since then, so…I'm wondering if a simple no will suffice…"

"Mm…" I hummed as I popped another snack in my mouth, cracking the shell with my front teeth to break it in half and then licking out the yogurt-stuff. I don't know why I felt the need to do that, but I felt compelled to try and split it evenly whenever a snack had a shell. I'm ADHD, sue me. "Well, if it does and this doesn't go any further, that'd be nice. Then, if they really were robbed, we'll just pay for whatever it was worth. You only partnered up with Level 1s, right Lili? I think you said you'd never gone past the…eleventh floor? Before Welf and I, I mean?"

Lili nodded her head.

"Then it should be relatively cheap equipment, right?" I said with a shrug. "How much did you make total, Lili? A few million valis?"

"…If Lili counts the cost of all her expenses, the price of the equipment she didn't exchange, and the cost of her own equipment, Lili may have been four or five million valis total, over the course of four years."

"How much is that, relatively speaking?" I asked.

"An average group of five Level 1 Adventurers can expect to make about twenty-five thousand valis a day," Lili explained. "Assuming they worked every single day, which would be extremely abnormal, each of them might make as much as two million valis. In reality, it's difficult for such adventurers to make one million valis a year, even before expenses. Lili would say she made significantly more than a normal adventurer of her Level during her time as a thief, but after all costs and expenses, Lili had only about a million valis left, in the form of gnome jewels, most of which was spent to buy the potions and materials she used against Zanis."

And to save my life, I thought.

"So a lot," I said. "But…even at just the pace we were going in the Dungeon before, that's a few what? A week or two adventuring in the Dungeon?"

"Yes, Mr. Percy," Lili said, sighing slightly. I wasn't sure if it was because of how much money we made relative to the normal adventurer, what we had to put up with to do so, or the opportunity to make so much money, though. Maybe both. "If we were adventuring, that is. Even then, though, it would mean giving the Apollo Familia money."

"I'm not giving them anything," I said, trying for my best Samuel L. Jackson impression. "I'm buying something with my money. I'm paying them so I don't have to waste my time kicking their asses."

Lili and Hestia both gave me odd looks, as they were wont to do when I made a reference to pop culture a few thousand years old, but after a moment, Lili shook her head.

"…Perhaps. But Mr. Percy, this is about more than just that," Lili murmured worriedly. "It's about the precedent it might set if you concede in such a way."

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning.

"If Lady Hestia is seen accepting such terms, who knows how many other adventurers might crawl out of the woodwork?" Lili said. "Lili became a thief over three years ago; even she doesn't remember everything stolen or everyone robbed—it would be nearly impossible to verify most claims, especially given the nature of Lili's magic. If you simply concede to Apollo's demands, it's unlikely this will be the end of it; rather, countless people would come to try the same thing. If we are seen backing down from this War Game, it would merely invite others."

"Apollo probably planned for that," Hestia said, muttering something dark under her breath. "Trying to force us into a fight instead of letting us just resolve this some other way. And if he does have any proof, simply trying to ignore the issue might be even worse."

I took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly through my nose, growing steadily more irritated with this whole mess.

"What are War Games exactly?" I asked, thinking of Capture the Flag, the chariot races, and such. "Why would he care so much about getting us to fight one? I've heard it mentioned before but why would this be such a big deal to him now?"

"It's…" Hestia paused, seemingly struggling to find the words. "Like a proxy war between the gods. Rules and conditions are set at a meeting and then the god's Familias will clash to determine a winner. While it's just a game, the fact that its an actual, public conflict means it's a larger scale clash than most and a great deal is often wagered. Or rather, given the costs and risks associated with it and the disadvantages of seeming weak by losing, one could say that War Games are only used if a great deal is on the line."

"Like what?" I asked.

"A great deal of money," Hestia said. "Rare items. Special resources or privileges or whatever else. Pretty much anything can be wagered, but in this case…I'm not sure. We don't exactly have any of those things."

"Yes, we do," Lili said, voice soft but still loud enough to draw our attention. "We have Mr. Percy. With his powers…if he could only spin straw into gold, it might be less impressive then what he currently does. With what he could potentially make in the future…and he's the Record Holder now, on top of everything else."

Hestia blinked once and then narrowed her eyes, looking me over.

"You're right," She said. "I didn't think of the human element. And knowing Apollo…everything else might be what he's after to begin with."

I blinked a few times, understanding what she meant but still confused by what she was saying.

"Do people actually do that?" I asked, making a face. "Bet members of their Familia?"

"You can," Hestia confirmed. "It's similar to how Lili changed Familias—as long as a god changes the Status properly, Familia members can be switched once a year."

"Why once a year?" I asked.

"To prevent things from getting too out of hand, in cases like this," She replied. "If an adventurer is valuable enough to go to war over, such a rule prevents the defeated Familia from immediately waging war to take them back and keeps other interested parties from constantly warring over them. At the same time, it keeps more mercenary adventurers from switching side constantly and makes it less likely that they would simply betray their Familia for a better position. Once you change Familias, you have no choice but to wait before doing so again."

I grimaced.

"I'm not much for gambling," I said. "At least not when it comes to stuff that actually matters. I'm confident in my own strength, but if those are the terms, I'd rather not bother. I don't have any intention of switching Familias, especially to someone who'd just want to use me."

Hestia hid it well, but she seemed pleased by that statement--maybe even a little relieved. Only a little, though, because seriously. This asshole?

"It's probably for the best that we avoid such a conflict, regardless," She said. "A War Game likely wouldn't favor us. While there are many different types of War Games, including Single Combat between representatives, since the entire idea is of a battle between Familias, most options tend towards the entire Familia doing battle, at least from what I've heard. And…"

"Our entire Familia is two people," I finished, looking at Lili. "Whereas Apollo's is…?"

"About a hundred people," Lili answered.

"So it would be slightly unequal if it came down to a direct confrontation," I said, filing that away. "Unless it was near a large body of water, I guess. How are the terms decided, anyway?"

"If all the gods involved agree, it can be decided amongst them," Hestia said. "Otherwise, it's usually decided by lottery—both the terms and the location."

Ugh. Meaning that it'd come down to luck, that thing I had so much of. Well, I guess I couldn't complain too much since I'd only died...uh, twice, and was still alive to talk about it—but Fate generally didn't make my life easier. If it came down to that, I'd probably end up fighting in a desert.

"Then we'll try to avoid it," I said. "If you can figure out a way to settle this without us fighting or making things worse, then we'll go for that. Otherwise, if they try to force the issue…we'll think of something. One way or the other, though, something's come up, so I'll need to go back into the Dungeon sooner than we planned."

"Huh?" Hestia asked. "What do you mean, Percy?"

I sighed and then took a deep breath.

And then I told them about Fels' 'plan.'