Made in the likeness of an immortal

Xie Bian was speechless at Fan Wujiu's audacity. But it only lasted a moment, then the fury hit and brought with it a torrent of words:

"Then why didn't you take the pill yourself?!"

"I'm too tall," he said, turning sideways on the bed, facing the wall instead of Xie Bian.

"You're not much taller than me!"

"You're too tall as well. Wei Xiangsi prefers beautiful, delicate men. Neither of us has the right build, it's just that I'm tallest. You must be around the same height as him. Hopefully the first time he sees you is from a distance, and after that..." He yawned loudly; half muffed by the pillow. "Try to remain seated."

Xie Bian wanted to smother him to a second death. 'Try to remain seated'.

Fan Wujiu should try to remain standing after what Xie Bian was going to do with his legs.

A sudden yawn prevented him from describing it in gory detail. Xie Bian supposed he could save it for tomorrow. It wasn't a good idea to attempt dismemberment when feeling tired.

---

Lan Yin had been an attendant at Blooming Fragrance for over ten years, and she was used to seeing all manner of patrons come and go. The ones who were openly lustful and salivated over the courtesans like animals, to the ones who liked to pretend it was a complete accident they had even walked inside and expected to be chased and seduced; up to and including the regulars who were either hopelessly in love with a specific courtesan or who had nowhere else to go and money to burn.

But it had been three days and she still couldn't put her finger on which category the two new guests belonged to.

They were both very attractive to the point it was starting to bother the courtesans because they hadn't showed interest in them, and on the contrary, were attracting the attention of several patrons.

The most eye-catching was the fresh-faced beauty, whom Lan Yin would suspect of being a fox demon if he didn't seem the least interested in seduction or mischief. His companion on the other hand was as gorgeous as a statue made in the likeness of an immortal, and about as talkative.

Whenever Lan Yin saw them, or delivered tea to them, they were in one of the priciest booths in the house, watching whatever performance was happening with twin looks of boredom. They refused every courtesan who approached them but weren't amorous with one another.

They really were just using Blooming Fragrance as an inn with built-in entertainment! She had never seen anything like it.

And what's more, they were paying a fortune for room and board, but never requested food. And from what she managed to pry out of the maids, also weren't making very good use of the room either.

What kind of people paid a fortune to stay at a brothel if they weren't interested in fucking?

Lan Yin was losing sleep over the two of them, and she couldn't wait for the week to be over and the two of them to be gone.

"I think you're just nosy," Little Song, one of Blooming Fragrance's regular musicians told her over a shared meal for the staff in one of the salons. "And they're tight lipped."

Across from them, Mimi, one of the courtesans who preferred the company of the servants to her peers let out a breathless sigh. "I bet they're tight everywhere." She shook her head as if clearing a fog. "A pity they don't seem interested in me and all the lovely toys I have."

Lan Yin had often wondered if it was Mimi who liked their company or the other courtesans who shunned her, because all her conversations seemed to circle around holes and everything she'd like to stuff them with.

"I heard the gorgeous one call the beautiful one A-Xie," Little Song said, slurping his noodles. Little Yin hated how he always ate as if someone was chasing him. "I don't think it's a mystery. A-Xie is acting coquettish, playing the cold frosty lover until he gets what he wants."

Everyone else at the table seemed to share his opinion and Lan Yin didn't manage to get a single word in edgewise about her own view of the two.

She was moping around the entrance cleaning dust from the flower arrangements to avoid hearing Matron Red's screaming complaints later, when her favorite patron walked in.

She stuffed the kerchief in the pocket of her sleeves out of sight and curtsied Wei Xiangsi with a genuine smile.

"It's been too long since Master Wei honored our humble establishment with his esteemed presence," she said.

"It has been a week, I'm sure Blooming Fragrance will live." He handed her his travel cape. "Now, I, have been pining miserably without seeing A-Yin's lovely face."

Before Wei Xiangsi, no one had called A-Yin lovely in ten years, and that person had turned out to be nearsighted.

She had no illusions about her looks, but neither did she care. Plain people led peaceful lives, and hers was just as she liked it.

However, she appreciated how Wei Xiangsi was attentive to her and the other staff. He always had a kind word for them, never lorded his family's name over anyone, and never harmed the courtesans he bedded.

That was enough to earn him Lan Yin's friendship. "Master Wei, let me tell you, we have two new guests staying in the Plum Viewing room you usually book..."

She aired her grievances openly, commenting on the pair's odd behavior at length.

"They must be new arrivals in Longbei," Wei Xiangsi said, "I'm sure I'd have met two people like them."

He looked around the floor, searching for anyone who matched Lan Yin's colorful description. When he found them his breath came to a sharp halt.