Tasteless joke

As the Captains walk out of the Assembly hall, they all go their separate ways. Toji meets Izuru who has been waiting for him in front of the Assembly hall. 

"How was the meeting Captain?", Izuru asks.

"Ah, the usual.", Toji answers. 

"The usual boring or the usual useless rambling between the Captains?", Izuru asks him.

"Well the latter, but now that you mention it ... there was indeed something new. For some reason, Aizen and Gin acted out some form of ... play for us. It was weird. Aizen seemingly threatened Gin because the latter let the Ryoka live ...", Toji said.

"Gin let the Ryoka live? Why would he do that?", Izuru asked alarmed.

"That's the question. He probably has some ulterior motive. Gin always does. But we'll see I guess.", Toji shrugged.

"C-captain!", Izuru stutters.

"What?", Toji asks.

"What are you going to do now? Regarding Gin, I mean."

"Why would I do anything? If Gin does some shit then that is his decision. He's not my Lieutenant anymore. However, I'll just have to teach him again with my 'fist of love'. It's been too long since I used it anyway."

Sweat ran down Izuru's back when he heard Toji. He knew what the fist of love was. He had met it before and he was not interested in meeting it again.

.

.

>>Ichigo and his friends successfully breach the Seireitei's membrane. But when they breach it the Reishukaku explodes, creating a force that separates the group. 

Ichigo and Ganju end up together and have to face off against two members of the fight-loving 11th Division of the Gotei 13, Ikkaku Madarame and Yumichika Ayasegawa. 

Ichigo takes on Ikkaku and Ganju fights Yumichika. The fight is the hardest Ichigo has had to that point but he manages to defeat Ikkaku. After he defeats Ikkaku, Ichigo spares his life. 

Ichigo meets up with Ganu again and they decide to take Hanataro Yamada, a member of the 4th Division hostage. 

Hanataro leads Ichigo and Ganju through the canal network beneath the Seireitei until they arrive at the foot of the Senzaikyu.

The Senzaikyu is the compound Rukia is being held in. However before they can get to Rukia, they are confronted by Renji Abarai, the Lieutenant of the 6th Division. 

Interestingly enough, this fight is harder and more bloody for Ichigo as he narrowly manages to defeat Renji, when he uses all his powers. He manages to defeat Renji with a Getsuga Tensho, ending the fight. 

In a surprising twist, Renji begs Ichigo to rescue Rukia from her impending execution. The three of them then retreat to the sewers where Ichigo is healed by Hanatarō, who discovers Ichigo's Hollow mask lessened the damage from what would have been fatal blows by Renji.<<

"So that's what happened till now? I wonder though ... this is the result of one day ... the Ryoka sure bring a lot of chaos into the Seireitei. Good, things can finally start. I was getting bored fighting imaginary opponents anyway.", Toji said and turned the TV he had imagined to nothing again.

He wanted to see what happened till now since he seemed to have missed the beginning. 

Maybe he could fight a Captain as well. That was not something that he could do under normal circumstances. He had to use this chance. But who should he fight? 

.

.

Meanwhile with Renji. Izuru has found Renji and brought him to a secure location and is watched over by his friends Izuru and Momo Hinamori, lieutenant of the 5th Division.

"In any case, I'll contact Squad 4. I'll ask for emergency relief.", Izuru told Momo.

"There is no need.", Byakuya Kuchiki says as he appears behind the two Lieutenants.

"Put him in prison.", he continues.

"B-but ... Abarai fought the Ryoka by himself. And yet ... ", Momo tries to tell Byakuya.

"I won't listen to your excuses. If he entered a fight alone, defeat is absolutely forbidden. I have no use for a fool who did not understand that. He is an eyesore. Take him away.", Byakuya says and then walks away. 

"Yare yare ... look at this. Byakuya 'Always stiff' Kuchiki the head of the Kuchiki clan has no need for a Lieutenant who loses a one-on-one fight because he lost. So by that logic what would that make you then? Remember the little tête-à-tête we had?

What a disgrace you are ... it seems you're still the small arrogant boy that you were back then. You have not yet learned anything.", a voice says from next to Renji.

!!!

They all turn around to see Toji standing next to Renji and looking down on him. 

"C-Captain."

"Captain Fushiguro ... as impolite as ever I see. What I decide to do with my Lieutenant is my business. Don't get in my way."

"Oh? Are you trying to sound intimidating again? This might work with the Lieutenants but not on me. So why don't you get your shit together and think before you speak, boi?", Toji tells Byakya with a neutral face.

This is already threatening because Toji usually has a smile or another expression. But now, he seemed to be on the verge of anger. The tension was thick in the room as the two Captains looked at each other. Pressure was pushing Byakuya down but he didn't want to give in. Before he was crushed he gave up.

"Hphm.", Byakuya says and then leaves. 

"Oh, that was so scary.", someone says from the back of the room.

"Captain Ichimaru.", Momo recognises the man. 

"Making trouble again, Gin?", Toji asks.

"Me? Trouble? I would never do something like that.", Gin answers.

"Sure you would. Stop that bullshit or I'll spank you where the feathers are thinnest. Or maybe you would like to make the acquaintance of another type of fist? The one that redesigns your face and wipes that smile of it.", Toji asks Gin who does not look happy. 

Gin knows the fist of love well. He was on the receiving end when he was smaller and Toji brought him and Rangiku up. 

"Piss off, Gin. Go get someone from the 4th Division to heal Renji. Izuru, you go with him."

"Yes, Captain.", Izuru says and follows Gin.

.

"They're like dogs, as long as you know how to handle them it's easy.", Toji tells Momo and then Shunpo'ed away.

After Toji left, Momo was on her own and was surprised when yet another voice was heard behind her.

"Wow, Abarai got messed up pretty good."

"Hitsugaya. Why are you here? Without your Lieutenant?", Momo asks after she manages to calm down.

"I came to warn you." 

"Warn me?"

"Be careful of Captain Ichimaru and Squad 3." 

"Squad 3? You mean Kira and Captain Ichimaru?" 

"Yes Captain Ichimaru, but I'm not so sure about Kira and Captain Fushiguro either." 

.

.

(Toji POV)

Once again I am in a Captain's meeting. I will die at this rate. 

"The situation ... is critical.", Yama-ji starts the meeting," This means that we are short one Lieutenant in the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. We can no longer leave this to the lower-ranking members. 

Therefore, in view of the situation, I will not discipline... Ichimaru for his independent actions earlier."

"Thank you very much.", Gin says. 

"Furthermore, I will allow senior officers, including Lieutenants, to carry their Zanpakuto at all times as well as allow full release of their Zanpakuto in the Court, as in wartime."

"Carry the Zanpakuto all the time, huh?", the blind Captain says. 

"Full release as in wartime, huh? I couldn't be happier.", the Zaraki brat says. 

"Huh, if someone hadn't allowed the Ryoka to escape, we wouldn't be talking about this now.", Mayuri remarks. 

"C'mon, stop that talk.", Gin tells Mayuri.

"Yes, 'cuz he'll be my prey from now.", the Zaraki brat adds. 

"Gentlemen ... This is an all-out war.", Yama-ji states.

It seems Yama-ji has gotten soft. Something like this would have never made him act like this. Who cares about the procedure in such a situation? Just sent the Captains to deal with it and done, problem solved.

And doesn't even punish Gin for his obvious ploy. Haa, Yama-ji has gotten old.

.

.

(3rd Person POV)

The next morning a scream is heard from the Sacred Eastern Wall. the four Lieutenants of the 3rd, 7th, 9th and 10th Division hear it and run towards it only to find Momo Hinamori standing there in a daze and looking up at the wall.

„Hinamori! What's wrong Hinamori?", Izusu asks her and begins to shake her.

He then looks up and sees Captain Aizen impaled on his sword.

„What? It c-can't be!"

„Captain Aizen!"

.

"What's all this racket, so early in the morning? Oh my ... This is a terrible situation, isn't it?", Gin says.

Toji is with him and sees the gathering of Lieutenants as well as his Lieutenant Izuru Kira.

"Yo Kira, what the f*ck is going on here? Why is everyone so ashen-faced?", he asks.

Hinamori loses her cool at this and begins to scream.

"Did you do this?", she screams and grabs her Zanpakuto.

She runs towards Gin and Toji with her Zanpakuto drawn and swings it at them. Gin doesn't react at all and neither does Toji. Because her sword is interrupted by Izuru who blocks it.

"Yo seems like the Aizen's Lieutenant has the hots for you Gin ... how could you?! Are you just going to leave Rangiku? That's so heartless I tell you and she would be very sad.", Toji says.

"Kira ... why?", Hinamori asks.

"I'm the Lieutenant of Squad 3 and you can't just attack a Captain like that, Hinamori. No matter what the reason, I cannot allow anyone to raise a sword against the Captain.", Izuru says.

"Impressive Izuru but I still fail to see what on earth would warrant this reaction."

Gin turns around and leaves. 

"Please ... get out of my way ... Kira!", Hinamori says.

"I cannot." 

"Move! Get out of my way!", Hinamori screams. She has lost all sense of reason.

"No!", Izuru also raises his voice.

"Can't you hear me? I said to move!"

"Did you hear me say "no"?!" 

Hinamori watches as Gin gets further and further away and snaps. She grabs her Zanpakuto and releases it.

"Snap! Tobiume!"

A wave of energy is released from her Zanpakuto, towards Izuru and an explosion happens. 

However, something unexpected happened then. In front of Izuru, stands Toji who has taken the blow for Izuru. He looks not a bit hurt. Only his clothes are a bit singed. 

All the Lieutenants are surprised and Hinamori has her eyes wide, as well as Izuru. He didn't expect his Captain to step in himself. 

"That's enough, young lady. Releasing your Zanpakuto for ... whatever reason is not the solution to your anger. Step down here ... before I make you.", Toji says in a low and slightly menacing voice.

"Do you realize what you are doing?", Izuru asks Hinamori, "Do not confuse public matters with private ones, Lieutenant Hinamori!"

She does not listen though and uses her Zanpakuto to fire another blast of energy at them. 

.

*Sigh*

Toji sighs and catches the blast in his hand.

This surprises everyone even more. The famous useless Captain just caught a Kido-like blast from Hinamori's Zanpakuto with his hands.

"You should listen to Izuru, he means well. Or you listen to me ... I don't mean well."

Izuru takes this attack on his Captain personally.

"I see ... Then I have no choice. I shall dispose of you as an enemy.", he says and jumps into the air. 

"Raise your head, Wabisuke!", Izuru releases his Zanpakuto and slashes at Hinamori, who is also ready to strike. 

However, the clash never happens because someone steps between them. 

"Don't move, both of you.", the man says.

"Hitsugaya ..."

"Arrest both of them!", Hitsugaya tells the other Lieutenants. 

"You will not!", Toji says.

"Get your hands off my Lieutenant ... now!", he tells Lieutenant Hisagi, who immediately lets go.

"Captain Fushiguro, these two have fought in times of war. They should both be punished. Those are the rules ...", Hitsugaya says.

"I don't give a rat's ass about those. Aizen's brat attacked me and my Lieutenant for no reason. It was his right to defend himself. If you attack someone, you should always be ready to suffer or get killed yourself. That's the rule of the jungle. But I understand you not knowing this due to your age."

.

Hitsugaya didn't want to continue arguing with Toji.

"Hinamori, instead of fighting, shouldn't your first priority be to lower Captain Aizen down from there?", Hitsugaya asks.

"I will make the report to the Head Captain. Put Hinamori under detention. And I will also mention your actions Captain Fushiguro in the face of a dead Captain!", Hitsugaya says.

"What the hell are you on about? Dead Captain? Who the f*ck is dead? I guess the brain truly is proportional to the body size.", Toji says and then walks away.

"Come Izuru we are going to talk about butting in my fights like that. I need some exercise every once in a while ... otherwise I grow rusty."

As Toji and Izuru walk away, Hitsugaya looks at their retreating backs. He has nothing but disgust for Toji right now. 

"To make jokes at a time like this ... how despicable."