Chapter 8- My Neverland

❣My Neverland- A love story (Lost Boy female) ❣

Peter has always been my best friend. That's how things are for the Lost Boys. But, I wasn't like other Lost Boys. I was the oldest, slightly older than Peter's outward appearance. Actually, Peter and I were the same age; I just looked older. Even though I was the oldest Lost Boy, I was the newest recruit. Peter took interest in me because… I really don't know. And yet I do know. You see, I'm no normal Lost Boy. I'm not even a boy. I'm a teenage girl, and that is my secret I keep from the other Lost Boys. Peter knows this secret, and keeps it close to his heart. Sometimes he teases me, but it's all for fun. I usually get him back for it anyways.

Peter gave me the name 'Wolf', making me his second in command because I'm a natural leader like him. Sometimes, when it's just me and him, he'll call me by my real name. And sometimes, just Peter and I will go on missions, exploring the vast parts of Neverland together. And that's how I like it…  

                        ~~~~

"Hey, Wolf! Catch!" Peter called out, tossing and object into the sky. It was a round ball, about the size of a fist. I watched it soar, and then float in the sky. Peter laughs as I stand on my toes reaching for the ball, then give up for a second.

"Funny, Peter…." I cross my arms, and smile sarcastically. Hunching down, I tilt my head as the ball continues to float into air. I then leap into the sky, summer-saluting. Landing with my palms on my thighs, I cock my head mischievously, the ball between my teeth. Spitting the ball out, I roll it to Peter. He ignores it completely, more interested in me. His blue eyes twinkle, and a small lock of blonde hair peeks out from underneath his classic green hat.

"Maybe I oughta call you 'Dog'..." Peter crosses his arms, smirk on his face.

"Then I oughta call you…" I pause, thinking. What could I call him? "I'll say 'Master'."

Peter chuckled. "I think I'd like that…"

I roll my eyes at Peter, looking to the sky. The full moon was out, casting shadows everywhere. That meant the Lost Boys would be at the Tree. It had been a long day of playing today; ruining Captain Hook's plans of capturing me once more.

Two years ago, Captain Hook had lost interest in Peter because he had seen me. I was new to Neverland, my jeans tight and shirt untucked. I wore a red fabric belt around my waist (that belt was later used to bind my breasts because Peter didn't want another Wendy situation), and my eyes were wide at seeing the true vastness of Neverland. When Peter left me alone for a minute, Hook seized the opportunity, and I was taken to his ship. For an entire month, Peter searched endlessly for me. Hook treated me nicely, curious about where I had come from, and where Peter got his Lost Boys. After that one month, Hook released me. But I stayed, becoming another part of Hook's crew. Captain Hook took to my interest immediately, and I was given new attire that day. 

I was given a black jacket, and a red shirt that cut off just above my navel. He gave me a golden chain, and I tied that to two of my belt loops, making a crescent circle on my right side. With the chain, Hook tied a black bandana around my head, covering my exposed short hair. A mirror was presented to me, and I has smiled happily. The bandana created two points upon my head that looked like two small ears- wolf ears.

Hook was proud of his newest member, and for a while I was proud too. But something was missing for me. Hook took notice immediately, and came to talk to me one day. On that day, he gave me one of the many rings that adorned his hand. He tied it to a leather strap, and gave it to me. There was absolute silence when he tied the strap together around my neck. After, he held me close, no words said. I understood completely. We sat down, and I leaned my head against his shoulder, soon falling asleep. When I woke the next morning, I was no longer on the ship. Peter had stolen me during the night, right from Hook's own arms.

I rubbed my fingers on the ring, the leather strap now faded grey from time and the fact I never took it off. It feel as if yesterday I was given this….

"Alice…" Peter called. I look up at him. It's been a year since Peter had called me by my real name. The last time he used it, he had hurt my feelings. I had run from Peter that day, back to the ship- back to Captain Hook. Again, Peter had "rescued" me.

"Alice- I'm going back to the Tree. You coming?" His eyes looked hopeful as I shook my head 'no'. He sighed, hope gone, and left me alone. Since I was now alone in the forest, I walked to the cliff. From there, I saw Hook's ship. Smiling, I let the impulse of jumping overtake me. I dived off with ease, taking flight after seconds of dropping. Being Peter's second, the fairies infused pixie dust into my flesh and soul. Now my body produced it naturally, whenever needed.

I flew like a raven. A black dot in the sky. I saw Hook's scout, arm out and pointing to me and shouting down below. I smiled as Hook himself came from his chambers, looking through his scope. I waved at him, making my way to the deck. Landing softly, I brush myself off. I reached up my back, and unbound my breasts, shoving the red belt into my pocket. Here, on this ship. I could be anything. I didn't have to hide myself. I sigh in relief.

My attention turned to Hook, standing on the deck with his red robe on. His hair was tied back in a tail with an elastic band I had given him a few months ago. He rubbed his eyes with his arm, and blinked. I smiled at him.

"Alex?" He asked, unsure if he was still dreaming.

"In the flesh, Captain." I salute him, and make my way down the steps. Hook called me Alex because it was gender neutral, and it was a name I'd much rather be called by then Alice.

"You've come back?" Hook sounded excited. "But earlier today…" he took two steps to me.

"I'm sorry about earlier today. I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. Hook…" I hesitate before finishing, "Times are changing in Neverland. Peter's being more cautious of me. But he doesn't know anything."

"Are you sure you weren't followed?" Hook asked.

"I'm sure." I said, nodding my head.

Hook nods once with me, reaching his hand out.

"Come with me." He said.

I took his hand and followed him into his cabin, lighting a few lamps on the way. As we entered the cabin, the first thing I noticed was the old fold away bed off to the side, a bed that I used to sleep in those months of being part of Hook's crew. The second thing I noticed was Hook being a little different than usual. Almost ashamed of himself, in a way.

"Hook?" I whisper, "Is everything alright?"

"Fine, just fine. It's just… I'd been hoping for so long that you would stay with the crew…" He relented.

"Hook, you know why I can't do that."

"I know. But it's just a hope, that's all." he muttered, playing with a few rings on his fingers.

Sighing, I sit at the old oak table in front of us. Hook does the same, then gets up for a drink. He offers me one, but I refuse. Hook took a sip before sitting back down.

"So… What did you mean by Pan's being more cautious of you?" he asked, eyeing me from behind his glass.

"Well.. I think he's falling in love with me, Hook." I exhale quickly as Hook chokes on his drink.

"You- what? Did I hear this correctly? What leads you to think that?" he coughs.

"Peter acts different around me than the other Lost Boys. He acts more mature and his own age. He's nervous, and afraid to say the wrong thing." I explain.

"And are you falling for him?" Hook frowned.

I touch the ring on the leather strap, rubbing it slightly. Hook takes no notice of this gesture. "No. I've found another person to love, but don't know if he loves me back just yet…" I whisper.

"Will you keep me updated on Pan?"

"Always, Hook." I say. A thought comes to me as I look outside the window. "Can I stay here? It's kinda late and Peter doesn't really expect me back until tomorrow…"

Hook nods. "You can stay whenever you wish, Alex." He gestures to the old bed, and them his own. "I can take the old cot, if you want me to?"

"No, Hook. You won't have to take the thing. I've grown partial to it, actually. Take your own bed…" I say as he made his way over to the cot. His hand brushed the dusty blankets, and then lifted away after a second.

"Are you sure?" He smiled at me.

"Don't tempt me." I tease.

"All right! I get it!" He laughed. He quickly made his way past me, our hands brushing as we switched places. Hook lept into his own bed, yawning.

"See you later?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

"Perhaps. And if not, I'll leave a message." I grin, clearly messing with him.

Hook blew out the lantern on his side, and lay his head down.

I stand for about another five minutes before Hook's yawn catches me. Making my way over to the old cot, my fingers brushed against the wood of the table and then against the bed itself. I flick the covers from the bed, and find a little box with my name scrawled across it in Hook's writing. Inside the box was a bracelet with a silver crescent moon, and a note on yellowed paper.

I flip open the note, and scan the contents quickly before actually reading the thing. An old habit dies hard, but I read the note three full times before catching what it actually said.

    My Dearest Alex,

I'm afraid to admit this, but I've fallen deeply for you.

It took me weeks to even admit this to myself, because I thought it would never happen to me, let alone with a follower of Peter. But from the moment you stepped on my ship, everything changed. I changed. I want you to stay with me for eternity, but if that's not possible, then at least remain my friend. A crew member, if you want to be. I just don't ever want to lose you like I've lost so much. Please stay. The bracelet 

In this box was crafted from the same silver as my hook, so that you will always have me with you.

I love you,

Hook

My eyes water at the thought, and my hand instantly grasps at the ring on the necklace of leather. Hook loves me. He loves me. Slowly, I pick up the bracelet from the box, and read the inscription on the back.

Alex,

You shall forever have a piece of me. 

Hook 

Tears came to my eyes as I glanced over at Hook. Was this what he hid from me when he came over to this cot? Did he slide it under the blanket when we were talking? Or was it there way earlier, and was he checking it to make sure it was still there?

"Hook? Are you awake?" I whispered.

My response was a gentle snore from his side of the room.

"Guess not…" I chuckle, strapping the bracelet on. I crawl into the old cot, and bury myself under the covers before gently blowing out the candle on my side of the room. Like a fading star, it winks out and darkness takes over. I fall into a deep slumber.

                        ~~~   

I wake bright and early, Hook and the crew still sleeping. Quick to get out of bed, I slip my shoes back on and write Hook a note in hurried writing.

    Hook,

A kiss, until next time…

~Alex

With this little note, I pull from my pocket a small thimble, and lay it next to Hook's desk by his bed. His nose twitches, and I cover my mouth to hold back a laugh. Biting my lip, I slowly make my way back to the door, and out of the cabin. The ship had never been so quiet before, so I take off into flight.

As I land in the meadows, Peter finds me, his arms crossed. I fake a yawn, and make my way to him. "Oh, Peter. I'm so sorry… I fell asleep in the meadow smelling the flowers. I meant to return back to the Tree…" I excused.

"Cut it out, Wolf. I know where you were. With Hook, Again." He takes notice of my breasts. "And would you bind those?" he scolds.

My face turns bright red. "But.. I usually need help with it, and you always help me…" I whisper.

"Fine." Peter sighs. He hold out his hand and I sheepishly place the red belt in his palm. "Why did you take it off, anyways?" he asks as he ties the belt around my skin. With a final knot, he pushes himself away. I turn to him, ashamed.

"I just wanted a little freedom, that's all." I said.

"We can't afford too much freedom. I don't want to lose you. You're the best I've ever had." Peter frowned at me.

"That's why I leave every once in awhile! I want my freedom back!" I shout, clearly upset.

"And Hook gives you this freedom?!" Peter screams at me.

"Yes! More than I'll ever get from you!" I stomp off, tears falling.

Peter runs after me, but I throw rocks and debris at him, making him stop. I quickly launch myself into the sky, upset. So, I fly to the one place where Pan hardly ever goes, besides Hook's ship. I fly myself to the old cliffs, the ones that can touch the sky and steal the stars from the night.

Peter finds me after an hour, tears soaking my clothes. "Alice, I'm sorry."he said, trying to touch my back. I turn away from him.

"Not interested, Pan." I mutter.

"Alice…" Peter whines.

"Peter, what you did… Don't you understand that I need some freedom?" I cried out.

"Yes, I do. But as I said, I'm afraid of losing you. It's because… I love you, Alice. I'm trying to fight it but it grows stronger each time I'm with you and sometimes it takes me forever to not think about wanting to kiss you lips… and… it hurts me to see you in pain. If more freedom is what you want, and if you want to be with Hook… I can let go."

My eyes meet his as I look up a him. "Oh, Peter… If only you knew…" I sniffled.

"I do know, Alice." And with that, Peter's lips met mine gently, as if he was new to this whole thing. And I let him kiss me, releasing all of my emotion in that one movement. 

When our lips broke contact, my face reddened. "I- I have to leave. Peter, I have to leave Neverland. Things have changed, I've changed. I have to go…" With those words said, I took off for Hook's ship.

"Alice!!!" Peter screamed, but he did not follow.

I land on the deck as Captain Hook leaves his cabin.

"Hook…" I say, my voice cracking. He sees the look on my face, and ushers me into his cabin.

"Alex… what's wrong?" he asked.

" I- I have to leave Neverland. I was the reason why everything had changed. I don't know if I'll ever be able to come back, so I might as well give you one last gift before I go…" and with that, I stood on my toes and kissed his lips with the fury of love, releasing what was hidden for the longest time.

"Never forget me… Because I will never forget you." I exhale, darting away.

"Alex!!!" Hook reached out for me, and tears streamed down my face. "Alex! I promise never to forget!!!"

"And I promise to return one day…" I whisper back, but he could not hear me.

I quickly flew upwards, making my way to the north star. Night came, and with that, my old home. I landed softly, exhausted beyond belief, and crawled into my bed. I soundlessly went to sleep with no trouble, Neverland the last thoughts of my mind. I was home, but not….

                        ~~~

10 years later….

The stairs creak from the weight on the old wood as I go up the steps leading to my room. About five years ago, my parents moved, and left me this place. I brush the dust from the rail leading up with the steps to the attic, the room where I lived in by choice. I cough a few times, blowing the covers of the books off. So much dust for only a few years…. Why hadn't I come back sooner?

As I wipe off the cover of the last book, something catches my eye. A gleam of silver hidden behind some crumpled paper. Slowly, I set the book down, title unknown. My hands reach over to the paper, and I push them aside. I wrap my fingers around the silver chain, running my thumb over the inside parts. I could feel writing, so I turn the bracelet over. On the inside, faded but readable, was writing scrawled on the flattest part.

Hook? Who was Hook? An old friend? My eyebrows creased, my mind growing confused. I remember the name Alex- it was something I went by a long time ago. My friends called me that, back when I… When I…

My eyes widen, and I drop the bracelet. Hook!!! I had forgotten about him. I had forgotten about Neverland. Peter and all the Lost Boys… Hook's crew… Everything. Now I understood why thimbles made me grimace, and why I avoided anything related to the subject of Fairies. Neverland… It was home.

My attention turns to the abandoned book that I set down to investigate the bracelet's shine. I pick it up, brushing the rest of the dust off. Peter Pan, an old favorite. I must have figured that I would forget, and set them in close proximity to each other. I clutch the book to my chest. Peter and all the others… Hook, too…. I promised Hook I would return to him. I just need to find my way back.

I flip open the book, and gaze at the words. But something was different off the bat. It wasn't Wendy and her brothers in this story… it was me. And this was all my writing. Though the cover said it was Pan's story, it was really mine. My story of Neverland and everything that happened when I was there.

All the illustrations were by me, and helped with the descriptions of what I was just remembering. On the very last page was a drawing of Hook himself, all alone. He stood strong and tall, sword in hand and crossed over his chest. His eyes shone bright, and he had a smile on his face. A gentle smirk, almost as if he was daring me to do something. Here, in this drawing, he was captured in real life. Captain Hook, leader of his crew. Captain Hook, the man I had fallen in love with. Hook, the man I had left behind.

Tears come to my eyes as I set the book back down, the page open. It's hard to believe that ten years had passed since I had last seen him. I was eighteen then, yet still a child. But Hook and I had fallen in love, anyways. Now twenty-eight, I'm closer to his age. Nothing else had changed with that, besides not remembering Neverland as it really was- as it is. I wipe the tears from my face, then pick the bracelet up. I quickly fasten it around my wrist, knowing if I did find my way back Hook would know the bracelet, if not my face.

My thoughts are interrupted by the tapping on the balcony leading from the attic. Blinking, a moment of a flashback happens. Was Peter back, here for me? No, that wouldn't be. Adults aren't allowed into Neverland… Unless there was an exception? I hurry my way over to the balcony doors. Taking a deep breath, I flash open the curtains to reveal nothing but moonlight. Moonlight and the stars. My deep breath turns into a sigh quickly, for my hopes were high that Pan had come to take me back. Childish thought, I scolded myself. I opened the balcony doors, anyways, and left them open. The house needed some fresh air, too.

After I fasten the curtains in place, my eyes gaze to the place where Neverland is located. I turn away quickly, biting my lip. I couldn't cry over something others would see as a fantasy… I just couldn't. Boards creak, and I jerk my head up. The curtains I fastened just moments ago was now lose, the edges gently whispering like gossamer.

"Hello?" I called out cautiously. "Is anyone there?" 

Goosebumps tingle up my arms and down my back, making this even more eerie than it should be. I mean, it was just a curtain, right?

"Hello?" I call out again, then reaching to fasten the curtains. I fasten one down, and move to the other quickly. But something stops me. There's a shadow that isn't mine, moving just out of the corner of my eye.

"Peter? Is that you?" I ask, standing. The shadow darts away, and I'm knocked over by some sort of force. Swearing a nice few choice words Hook would be proud of, I grip the wooden surface with my nails. I blink a few times, and then am knocked down again. My head hits the floor with a thunk, and my vision blurs as I just lay there. I see a figure of a person in red, and another in green. The one in green flies away as the one in red stays.

As my vision clears, I realize what just happened. Peter brought Hook here, to my world. Hook reached his hand down at me, and then I realize it's not a hook anymore. It's a mechanical hand, modern tech from this time.

"Hook?" I say, unsure.

He nods at me, and I take his hand. He helps me up with ease, his new hand clearly benefiting him as much as it seems.

"Alex… I've come here to take you with me- or I stay here with you. I just want you to know that whatever choice that you make, I'm going with you." Hook whispered to me as we embraced.

"I want to go back. Back to Neverland. It's home to me… To us." I murmur to him in his ear.

Hook smiles, knowing we would  be together forever. He pulls from his back pocket a small bag, a bag I know as Peter's. I know the contents as well. Pixie dust.

"Just enough to get us back… Pan gave it to me because he realized that me without you was just not possible. And he also said he missed you." Hook said.

I place a gentle kiss to his lips, savoring it every moment.

"This is why I never moved on in my life…. Because I knew I had you waiting for me back in Neverland…" I giggle as Hook tickles my side with his metal fingers.

"I kinda like this new hand… Much better than the hook." He teased.

"Yeah… I love you, too. Hook." I pronounce his name like it is a piece of heaven on my lips.

Hook does his one of a kind smirk, and then we kiss again. We kiss each other like it's the end of the world.

Then, a smile on both of out faces, Hook and I open the bag filled with the pixie dust, sprinkling the contents over each other. Only a little is left, and we save that just in case.

"You ready?" Hook said, one hand in mine as the other clutches at the balcony railing.

"More than ever…" I nod, and then Hook pulls me over.

The pixie dust takes effect instantly and we're both flying hand in hand. We soar up and over the towers that seem to touch the sky, tossing little tidbits of things at each other as we go. My fingers brush leaves, and I grab onto a branch,snapping it free. I carry it with me, sneaking up on Hook like a child. I poke him with it, pretending to be him ten years ago. He chuckles, mocking surrender.

"I give in! Don't hurt me!" He fake whined. He raised his hands up in the air, chuckling.

"You are now my prisoner. Do as I say, or walk the plank!" I joke.

"Yes, Ma'am…" he laughs, setting me off into a fit of giggles.

I throw the stick aside, away from Hook and I. My hand reaches out to him, and we overlap our fingers.

"Oh! Wait! Before we go…." I quickly fly back to the attic, and grab a few things. The old journal containing my story of Neverland, and an old pocket watch. Hook glances at the pocket watch with uneasy eyes, but says nothing to me.

"Why a book about Neverland?" He asks.

"Not just Neverland… it's our story." I show him the first page, the one with the real title.

" My Neverland- A Love Story…" he reads. His eyes brighten a bit.

"You wrote down our story?"

"And drew the pictures, too." I nod.

His eyes return to the pocket watch. "The watch?"

"I was hoping that you'd want it. I mean, you were working over your fear, weren't you?" I admit.

Hook wraps his hands around mine, gently taking the watch from me. A single tear comes to his eye. "I'd love it…" he whispered.

He opens the clasp to find an engraving on the metal.

I wanna hold your hand,

'Till the end of time.

I wanna kiss you lips, 

Call you mine.

Some say the beginning is the end,

I say the end is just the beginning.

My heart shall forever be yours,

Eternity everlasting.

~Alex

Hook smiles at me, and my fingers rub at an old ring I now kept on a golden chain. That ring was from Hook long ago, back when we first had fallen in love. Hook finally notices my movements, something he's never noticed before.

"You still had it?" he said.

"I've always had it, Hook. Since the day you gave it to me, I've kept it with me. Peter never noticed it, either. No one really did. It was like a secret we shared, a secret never told. I never let go of it, you know." I whisper.

I glance up at the stars. "We better go. Neverland calls us…"

Hook joins me in looking up. "I guess we should…"

Our hands join again.

"Are you sure you want to leave this world?" Hook asks.

I glance back at the balcony. "That place has never been home to me. It never will. I belong with you, in Neverland. I miss all the magic in that world. I want to go home." I admit.

"Let's go home, then." Hook said, leading my upwards.

"You know, when we get back… I wonder if the pixie dust created from me would reform?" I randomly say, laughing.

"It might. You never know. Just believe, as Pan always says." Hook chuckles. "That phrase… Why do I even bother repeating it if he gets all the credit?"

I laugh lightly. "I guess you like Peter, after all. Oh, speaking of him… You won't mind me stopping by every once in a while to visit the Lost Boys, do you? I miss them, and I figure since I'm older I could actually be like the mother they need."

"I don't mind at all. In Neverland, anything is possible. You could even go back to the age you were ten years ago when you're with them…" Hook said. He wrinkled his brow. "Well… Maybe a little older…" he added as an after note.

That sends me into a burst of giggles,and Hook smiles.

"What? What did I say??" He jokes.

"Nothing, I swear! Sometimes you're just so childish, that's all.." I giggle.

"What, like this?" He sticks his tongue out at me.

"Yes!" I agree.

As we fly, the night darkens, and suddenly there's a burst of sunlight. I blink away the slight pain, and smile as the scenery below me shows. Hook floats by my side, and wraps his arm around my waist.

"Welcome home, Alex…" He whispered, placing a kiss on my lips.

"Welcome home…"