Distant Memories
"Fuck! Arghh! Dammit!"
I sat curled up in a ball, my quivering arms tightly wrapped around my knees as I muttered a string of curses under my breath.
There was no one in particular I was cursing, just my rotten luck.
"This can't be happening! This can't be real!" I blurted out, gripping my hair in frustration.
Maybe I was veering toward denial, but could anyone really blame me?
It's not every single day you discover that the world you live in is a fabricated reality from a video game, and you're a third-rate villain destined for all kinds of gruesome deaths!
Heavens!
I vehemently shook my head.
"This is crazy! What are the odds I didn't just hallucinate an alternate life while I was on the brink of death? Maybe it was all just a fever dream! Maybe I'm simply losing my mind!"
Certainly, losing my mind would be a preferable scenario to what was actually happening to me right now. However, even as I voiced these thoughts, I knew how stupid I sounded.
The memories of my previous life as Noah didn't feel like an illusion.
I seemed to have experienced every tiny emotion and every bit of pain firsthand. It all felt real. Far too real for it to be a mere figment of my imagination.
Likewise, I knew that the game I had played was also real – the game that was now my reality.
So, yeah, I couldn't stay in denial.
"How is this even possible, though?" I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing thoughts.
Yes, I had read my fair share of isekai novels in my previous life – I was somewhat of an otaku myself. But reading about something and living it are two entirely different things!
And what I was experiencing was even crazier! I didn't just become the protagonist of the story or the main antagonist. I didn't even become an NPC or a background character.
No, I just had to go and be reborn as a side antagonist with a minor role in the opening act of the game, destined to later turn into a major villain in the second act.
Most importantly, Samael Kaizer Theosbane – in other words, me – met a terrible end in all forty-one of those storylines!
Now, I know what anyone would say in this situation — "You're overreacting. Just avoid the story routes and you'll be fine."
But that's exactly the problem here! I've already made enemies of two of the protagonists – the male lead, Michael Godswill, and the female lead, Lily Elderwing.
Ughh!
Just remembering those two leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Anyway, the point is that I'm already on the bad side of the good guys.
The stage was already set, the cogs were in motion, and the main storyline was about to begin in… what, a few days?! Even less?!
"If only I had regained my memories a little earlier in life, I could have avoided those two entirely."
Yeah, right!
Like almost all normal people, I also used to dream about being reborn into my favorite fictional world and living a different life – a better life – as either the protagonist or an extra!
But in all those wish-fulfillment fantasies, I reincarnated with my previous life's memories intact from birth.
How else would I be able to fully exploit my knowledge of the plot? How else would I manipulate future events to my liking?
But as a wise man once said, reality often does not meet expectations. Here I was as living proof of this adage.
I was reincarnated into this game world and grew up without my memories. Then I suddenly regained them one day, but not after I had already started walking down the path of villainy.
"Haaa!" I sighed through gritted teeth, forcing myself to dispel such chaotic thoughts and take a moment of peace. "Calm down. Think."
That's right.
Crying over what could've been would get me nowhere.
Even in a situation like this where common sense seemed to be defied, I needed to approach everything with a clear, rational mind.
"Let's focus on the immediate tasks at hand first."
I detached the drip from my arm and unclasped the wristband that was being used to monitor my pulse.
A sharp pain shot through my ribs as I got up from the bed, the cool sensation of marble tiles coming in contact with my bare feet feeling a bit ticklish.
A wave of vertigo hit me as soon as I stood up straight, making me feel as though I had just woken from a long fever.
Weakly, I took one step after another, making my way toward the window near the bed.
My body felt incredibly light and fragile.
Although nothing was broken anymore since I must've been treated by a top-class healer, it seemed the fatigue and mental exhaustion still weighed heavily on me.
Unfortunately, I had no time to rest.
I reached the window and slid open a glass panel, letting a gentle breeze flow inside. The cold air stung my skin as I took in the view.
Towering skyscrapers pierced the heavens, their peaks lost in the gray clouds. Snowflakes sparkled as they drifted down, blanketing the city below in a pristine white mantle of ice and snow.
It was a beautiful December snowfall.
The streets were teeming with people, while above in the air, I spotted a few Awakened soaring through the sky.
However, what truly drew my attention was the colossal wall on the distant horizon. It dwarfed even the tallest skyscraper, stretching impossibly wide and reaching several miles into the sky.
That was the border of the Western Safe-Zone.
That wall encircled the entire continent – or what was left of it, at least – allowing nothing in or out without the Monarch or Dukes' permission.
The skies were also sealed, protected by an invisible force field that not many could penetrate.
Even the snow was only falling in this dome because the Western Monarch willed it so.
There must have been around three or four cities between where I stood and that majestic wall, yet its imposing presence was easily visible from here.
"What a sight indeed."
A sight that served as a stark reminder – I was truly inside that wretched game. Despite how surreal it all felt, that fact was undeniable.
Another poignant sigh escaped my lips.
Right then, I caught my reflection in the window's glass from the corner of my eye.
Turning my gaze toward it, I saw long blonde hair gently falling to my broad shoulders, framing a face so stunningly attractive that it seemed to have been chiseled by the very gods themselves.
I was tall, with bright golden eyes and a well-toned, athletic body that was neither too muscular nor too slim – just lean.
Both my ears were pierced, and a tattoo adorned my right forearm. I remembered getting that. One day, I randomly walked into an ink parlor with my friends and picked the first cool design I saw.
"Arghh," I mumbled, resisting the urge to face-palm. "How stupid was I?"
So stupid.
Anyway, I was dressed in a bland white patient gown right now, and while my eyes and cheeks looked a bit sullen, I still had to admit – I was stupidly handsome!
Huh.
I never thought about that.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I always knew I was good-looking. Some would say extremely gorgeous, even.
But I never gave it much thought. I was just born with this face, you know. It was normal for me.
Why would I be happy about something I was born with?
Why would I take pride in that?
But now that I remembered my previous life as Noah and how downright ugly I was, I couldn't help but appreciate my current looks in a new light!
And to be honest, I was right to do so!
This face I possessed could make anything I wear look good!
I wasn't exaggerating!
Even this ugly patient gown looked decent on me! I could just wrap rags around my waist and make even that work in a fashion show!
"Haa! And I still got cheated on."
Well... I mean, it kind of was my fault.
I treated Lily badly, ignored her, always talked about myself, didn't respect her, and had a trashy personality overall.
But still! Who would cheat on this face?! If I were a girl, I would NEVER leave someone who looked like me–
"Wait, what am I even thinking?"
Yeah, focus, man. There's no time for nonsense.
I shook my head to clear the distractions and started properly assessing the situation.
"Today is December 24th."
There were only seven days until the new year – or more crucially, until the entrance evaluation exam for Apex Academy, which I had applied to last month.
But passing the exam wasn't a concern. With my skills and future knowledge of the test, I knew I could easily ace it.
My real issue was with what would come after.