Are We Sitting?

Ethan's [POV]

I paced in the study like someone who'd just drunk an entire pot of coffee and needed to work it out of his system.

All I tasted was her.

Her blood was still on my tongue and my lips and her memories, the ones that came with her blood the ones that came at the price of me sharing my own were so horrific I'd checked my watch at least five times to see if I'd make it across town and back without her knowing.

I wanted to murder her mother.

And the rest of the humans she'd been studying with.

Yes, secrecy was necessary, but to force the humans to think so little about themselves, especially Genesis was criminal.

She was nearing. I could smell her.

Two footsteps and she'd be in the room.

And I'd probably lose my mind with the madness that always came with her scent.

"Nice study." Her voice was husky, dripping with seduction without even trying.

I broke the pencil in my hand and dropped it to the ground, turning on my heel, knowing that just staring at her would cause my heart to pound.

"Thank you." I managed the words between my lips, but they sounded more like a hiss or possibly a choked whisper.

She pointed at one of the chairs. "Are we sitting?"

The damn chair taunted me. What I wouldn't do to have a king-sized bed in that room I could toss her onto.

I coughed into my hand. "Yes, the chair is fine."

Genesis tucked her golden hair behind her ears and sat, folding her arms across her chest. "So, the school's in session?"

And you've been a very bad, bad, girl.

I groaned and turned back around, focusing on the dusty textbooks lining the walls. "Yes… why don't we start with what you know? Or at least what you've been learning up until now."

She took a deep breath.

I waited.

Still not turning back to face her because I was having a hell of a time keeping my body under control.

"I'm ugly."

Not what I expected.

"What?" I hissed, nearly knocking over the table in front of me to get to her. "What did you say?"

Her face paled. "The first phrase I remember as a child."

"Explain." Murder was going to be on the agenda. Exquisite, painful, spectacular, satisfying murder.

Experiencing her memories of indoctrination by humans who were supposed to love her, provide for her, and protect her, was one thing. But hearing the testament of the ugliness she was forced to endure it was hell. It was heartbreaking, to still have her taste on my lips to know the purity of her soul and hear the firsthand account of a mother who spat in her face.

"I think most normal children imagine their first Christmas or their first birthday. All I can remember from my childhood is my mom telling me that I was ugly. She even wrote it on a piece of paper and put it on the bathroom mirror so I wouldn't become vain."

"Why would she do that?"

"It may sound cruel." Genesis nibbled her lower lip as tears filled her eyes. "But it's what we've been taught all our lives. We'll never live up to immortal standards, never be loveable, never be beautiful. We're mere objects. We study as hard as we can so that if our number is called, we can do a good job and bring honor to our families. My family has a sort of black mark on it for reasons my mother never told me. I never expected my number to be called, but in case it was, that's the only phrase she kept repeating to me. 'You are nothing. You are ugly.'"

"It's a lie," I whispered fiercely, taking her chin in my hands so she couldn't look away. "It's an absolute falsehood. You aren't ugly."

"It's okay if I am." Genesis's eyes were glassy with tears. "I mean, compared to immortals I'm"

"Perfect," I finished for her. "And if I ever hear you say that about yourself again, you'll be punished."

"Punished?"

I released her chin. "Yes… It'll force you to eat pinecones instead of Mason's eggs."

She let out a laugh.

"You're beautiful, Genesis." I swallowed, placing my hands on the table in front of her. "Immortals would fight wars over you, and not just your face or your hair or the way your smile penetrates to someone's very soul but because you're good."

"You don't know that. I could be a horrible person…"

"Your blood would taste bitter," I said honestly, "because the emotional manifests into the physical. Your blood would be repugnant to me, and other immortals would shy away from you because the last thing any immortal wants is to mate with a human who is pure evil."

"Oh…" Her breathing picked up speed. "They didn't teach us that."

"They wouldn't. It's a secret." I winked.

Her smile brightened considerably. "Thank you… for saying that. But it's hard to believe you after everything I've already seen and the way I seem to repel you and"

I burst out laughing. "Oh, Genesis, if only you did repel me, things would be so much easier."

Her eyebrows squeezed together; I could read the frustration on her face.

"What else?" I sat down at the table in front of her. "What did they teach you?"

"They taught us that you scorned technology, that you didn't have time to teach your children what was necessary to survive, so as humans, it would be our job to educate your children as well as the families we were placed with."

"A glorified nanny."

"Yes." She nodded. "Exactly. And if we served the family well, then word would spread and more immortals would want me or my bloodline specifically."

"I wonder…" I tapped my chin. "Why they would lie?"

"Maybe because telling us our only job as a human was to become a mate to an immortal would terrify some people?"

"Possibly…" My mind reeled. None of it made sense. Sure, we'd kept our secrets over the years to protect ourselves, to protect humans from getting greedy. "A hundred years ago, the schools taught respect for immortals and gave you knowledge about our world, about your place in it, about the balance. Why would they suddenly change that?"

Genesis shrugged. "If I had to guess, it may be because humans started dying. You said so yourself."

"There is that." I gritted my teeth together, suddenly worried that I wasn't doing enough to nourish her, to take care of her. It was my job, damn it!

"Ethan?" She licked her lips and leaned forward. "Your eyes are turning black again."

"Yes, they do that."

"Why?"

"Because they can."

"Seriously?"

I smiled. "No, because sometimes I can't control myself. They lose color when I'm feeling something extreme. The green simply fades into black. A lack of color doesn't mean I'm soulless or anything ridiculous. It just means the vampire blood has spread to other parts of my body, readying me for a fight."

"Hmm…"

"Your eyes turn green too, you know."

"What?" Her eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"I've shared blood with you. When you're feeling something extreme, your eyes will turn green like mine. They match your mates. You'll also notice that you don't need as much sleep as usual. Your skin will become softer. Think of it as having a very nice beauty regimen." I laughed at her excited expression. "You're welcome?"

"Wow."

"Not that you need it," I added quickly. "The last thing you need is to offer more temptation for me and my kind."

She didn't say anything.

"I'm curious to learn more about you," I said honestly. "But I don't want to keep you cooped up in the study all day. You don't seem like the type who enjoys studying."

She sighed. "What gave me away?"

"Your emotions easily betray you and if they didn't, your blood surely would."

Red stained her cheeks, causing all of my blood to once again whoosh from my face to my lower extremities only this time I wasn't bracing for a fight, but for a few hours tangled in bed with her.

"Why don't I take you to that bookstore we told you about? You can meet Drystan and see if it's something that you'd enjoy doing while I work."

"You work?"

"I'd like to think so."

"Like Mason?"

"Like Mason. Unlike Stephanie and Alex, however." I held out my hand. "I'll show you after the bookstore. Would you like that?"

"Yeah." She took my hand and then squinted down at it.

"Something wrong?"

"I'm just trying to figure out what a vampire does for a job."

I barked out a laugh and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "Yes, well, I think I may keep you in suspense until later."

She leaned into me.

I inhaled her scent and my body shuddered with awareness.

It was horrible knowing that my reaction to her was so strong, yet she had no idea the war that raged inside of me, the desire I had to tell her everything, to cut myself open and show her my pain, my shame, and ask her to take it all away.

I was balancing my life possibly hers.

And yet, I couldn't find myself to regret anything.

Not anymore.

Not after talking with her.

Not after truly tasting her.

"Hungry again?" she asked.

"What?"

"You were licking me."

"Uh…" Damn it, I needed to stay focused. I moved away from her, enough to evade the temptation of her neck. "Sorry."

She glanced up at me through hooded eyes. "It's okay."

I growled.

She bit her lower lip.

And again, we were in the damn hallway. What was it about the hallway that destroyed every shred of sense I possessed?

"Ethan?" Mason called from the kitchen. "You going out?"

"Yeah…" I called, never taking my eyes off Genesis. "The bookstore."

"Get me berries!" he yelled. "We're out."

I shook my head, the spell broken. "Eat meat, for God's sake, wolf."

"Berries," he repeated.

Genesis laughed softly.

"Damn berries." I led her to the door. "Shall we?"

"Should we ask him if he needs pinecones too?"

A pinecone flew by my head. "He still has some left if he's using them as ammo."