64. Make It Stop

       Waverly stopped painting mid-toe, quickly looking up at her. “ What ?” 

       “Nedley resigned,” she mumbled as she began to strip out of her uniform. 

       “ What ?!” 

       “So now I’m Sheriff.” 

       The brunette jumped off the bed, grabbing onto her upper arms. “Hold on a second, you’re Sheriff?! Just like that?!” 

       “He resigned. It’s like President and Vice President or whatever. And apparently I was his Vice President.” She pulled on the t-shirt in her hand and sat down on the hardwood, hugging her knees to her chest. 

       Waverly dropped down in front of her. “Yea, I knew that, but why in the world did he resign?!” 

       Nicole lifted her head up. “What do you mean you knew that?” She questioned confusedly. 

       “He told me a while ago,” she said, waving it off. “But why’d he resign, Nic?” 

       “ What ?! When?!” 

       “Right after we started dating when we got into that fight and you yelled at me and I started crying. He mentioned it when I went and yelled at him for letting you work after Wynonna gave you a concussion.” Nicole’s face fell at the mention of what transpired on that day. “Quit, I’m just saying that’s when. BUT why did he resign, Nicole?!” 

       She pursed her lips for a second before starting. “Apparently few kids went missing on his watch yesterday and he went off the rails. Didn’t even call backup, just walked through the woods for 5 hours by himself dressed as Santa until he found them sliding around on a frozen stream that was near one of their houses where the woods opened up. . . I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” 

       Her brows furrowed. That seemed nothing like Nedley. “Dang.” 

       Nicole chewed heavily on her lip. “Wave, how the fuck am I going to be Sheriff ?” 

       “Baby.” She slid closer to her and took her hands with a crooked smile. “You are going to be the perfect Sheriff.” 

       “How?! I’ve been a cop for not even three years! I don’t know what I’m doing! He said he’s only going to train me until the first! And after that, this town’s gonna go to shit and it's gonna be my fault. I can’t-”

       “Hey, shh.” She ran her hands up and down her legs. “It’s ok, shh.” The redhead was shaking like a leaf and her breath began to come in sharply. “Oh, Baby. D’you take your meds yet?” She shook her head. Waverly pushed herself off the ground and grabbed it and the water bottle that was sitting next to it on the nightstand. She returned to the floor, pouring one out into her hand and taking the lid off the bottle, handing them each to her. “What’d I say about taking it with you if you’re working past 11, huh?” She said gently, pushing her hand through her hair as Nicole took it and moved herself onto her lap.

       The redhead’s anxiety always spiked if she took her meds late, and considering that she was a cop , that usually wasn’t a good thing. Sometimes it would just be stress in general and she’d end up freaking out over whatever was causing it, but other times it would be little things. They had once been binging some show into the AM and she had accidentally stepped on Waverly’s foot when they were moving to the bedroom and proceeded to have a panic attack in fear that she had hurt her even though she had barely even felt it. 

       Not that she shouldn’t be anxious about her situation right now, though, but since it was 2 in the morning, it was freaking her out more than it normally would have. 

       Her breathing steadied after listening to Waverly’s heartbeat for a minute. “I usually do,” she mumbled. 

       Waverly got them both off the floor and moved everything off the bed, flicking the light off and laying down. Nicole laid down, rolling herself on top of her and pushing her head into her neck with a sleepy sigh. “What’s even in those boxes?” 

       “My new uniform,” she mumbled, already half-asleep from the way her hand was running up and down her spine. The brunette’s eyes widened, knowing what her last uniform change did to her. 

.  .  .

       Waverly swung her feet as she sat at the island, screwing around with the Kindle before she had to get ready for her shift later in the morning. She glanced up at the sound of the redhead’s boots coming down the hall. “What time is it, Babe?” Nicole asked. She looked up from tying her tie when she heard Waverly choking on her coffee. 

       She stumbled off of her seat, spitting out the bit that hadn’t slid down the wrong pipe into the sink, coughing so hard that one of her lungs just might come up. 

       Nicole walked over and rubbed her back, looking down at her with worry in her creased brow. “You ok?” She asked after she calmed down, wiping the tears that had forced themselves out off of her oxygen-deprived face. 

       “No,” she huffed.

       “Why? What’s wrong?” 

       She walked back over to where she was sitting, hopping back onto the chair and turning around to face her. “Now I have to look at you in a tie every day and not want to fuck you senseless!” She traced her eyes over the new uniform again. The light blue button-down. The black pants. The brown combat boots. The fucking tie. 

       Nicole laughed, sauntering over to her and pushing her hands up her bare thighs, letting them come to rest on her waist. “Well, you can want all you want, Darlin’,” she drawled with a smirk before letting them continue up her shirt and leaning closer to her face. “But that’s an after-work activity.” Once she saw her pupils blow, she pulled her hands back and stood up straight, giving her a quick kiss on the tip of the nose with an innocent smile. She grabbed a granola bar out of the cabinet, poured herself some coffee, and walked towards the door, shooting her a wink with a wave before heading off. 

       Waverly picked her jaw up off the floor after a minute, trying to push away the burning sensation her hands left from sliding up her body. She ran her fingers through her hair, letting a breath out slowly. 

       Today was gonna be a long day. 

___

       Nicole balled up the wrapper from the granola bar as she climbed out of her cruiser and headed inside. The daily commotion of the Deputies chatting with one another seemed to silence as she entered the pit, all eyes falling on her. 

       She slowed to a stop, tracing her eyes around all of the faces. She figured the news around the block had been filled with her name and they had been just as shocked as she was when she first heard it. But judging by their faces, they weren't happy. 

       She took a sip of her coffee, blinking at them for a few more seconds. "Ima be buying pizza with gluten from now on." 

       It took a moment, but small grins worked their way onto all of their faces. And before she knew it, they were all surrounding her with congratulations. She walked through the huddle with a smirk, already feeling the sting from all the smacks on the back she got. She started for the break room to refill her cup before she started with Nedley. 

       " Get the fuck down here !" 

       Nicole stopped dead in her tracks a foot past the Sheriff’s door after hearing that voice, feeling every single hair on her body stand up as the air was ripped out of her lungs. The travel mug fell from her hand, lid popping off and sending coffee everywhere. Her vision went fuzzy and she stumbled back a step, gripping the doorframe to keep her upright as she looked into his office. 

       The sound of the hand smacking against the doorframe made Nedley’s head shoot up from his zoned state staring at his computer screen. He paused what he was listening to, staring in horror at her ghost-white face. She was looking at him, but not at him. Whatever she was seeing in front of her eyes was definitely not reality. 

       The man rushed around his desk and moved towards her. “You’re not supposed to be here for another 10 minutes, goddammit,” he muttered to himself. She quickly brought her hands up to shield her face as he got within a few feet of her, stumbling back a few steps. He stopped abruptly, putting his hands up slightly. “Hey. It’s just me, Kid. I’m not gonna hurt ya.” 

       “Noo,” she whined just above a whisper.

       “Nicole, it’s ok.” He took a small step closer to her. She backed up again, dropping her arms with feared eyes, stumbling over to the main desk and sliding underneath the inside. He swallowed hard, rubbing his hand on his forehead nervously as he brought his radio to his face. “All units clear the building. Go make yourself useful somewhere else.” 

       Lonnie and Wagner walked out from the break room where they were doing a bunch of work sticking dollars in the vending machine . “What’s going on, Sheriff?” Wagner asked. 

       “Everything’s fine, Son. Get going.” He waved him towards the door and the blonde sighed, heading out behind Lonnie. 

       Once the last of the building cleared, he slowly walked around the desk, keeping himself close to the wall in hope to not freak her out anymore. She had herself pushed as far into the corner as she could fit, hugging her knees closely to her chest. His heart shattered into pieces, for he knew this was his fault. And he had no idea what to do.

       The redhead must have seen his boots slowly coming around towards her because she let out a series of repeated terrified no’s. He stopped, turning back to where he had been standing as he pulled his phone out. 

       “Hey, Nedley!” Waverly answered cheerfully. 

       “How fast can you get here?” He asked shakily, getting straight to the point.

       “Wh-What? Why?” 

       “I think Nicole’s havin’ some sort of . . . PTSD flashback? She’s hiding under a desk, terrified of me.” 

       He heard a car door and the immediate start of the engine. “ Jesus fucking- What happened!?” 

       The man was quiet as he a chill of guilt make its way up his spine. “. . . She heard her father’s voice on her 911 call.” 

       " WHAT ?!" 

       "I-I'll explain when you get here. But, please, just get here." 

       "Y-Yea, Sheriff, I'm already on my way." 

       He let out a breath as he hung the phone up, the crease of worry in his brow getting tighter by the minute. 

       After a couple of minutes pacing up and down the pit, the brunette rushed through the doors with concern written all over her face. "Where's she at?" She questioned, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth as she stopped in front of him. 

       He gestured over to the main desk and she glanced over at it. "Waverly, I had no idea she was here yet. I wouldn't-" 

       "How do you even have that, Randy?! Did you just dig through her life trauma?!"

       He pursed his lips. "I still have access to the DPD archives." 

       "The Dallas Police Department archives?" She questioned, more to herself than to him. "How?" By the look on his face she could tell that he was genuinely upset about what was happening, but she was just confused about why he had let it happen in the first place. 

       "That's why I was listening to it. I was going to talk to her about . . . how I know about what happened that day." 

       "How you know what happened that day?-" Her eyes shot open as she comprehended what he was implying. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "You were there?" 

       Randy's eyes grew soft and he opened his mouth to answer, but they were pulled from their conversation by the choked sob coming from the desk. Waverly clenched her jaw, looking towards him nervously as she slowly walked over and slid down the wall to sit in front of her. 

       She didn’t know what she had expected to see, so it immediately ripped her heart to shreds. The redhead’s body was tightened, but shaking, from head to toe and her knees were still to her chest. Her eyes were locked on who knows what , not blinking whatsoever. Her jaw was clenched tightly through her whined no’s and stop’s that she had seemed to be repeating, and the area below her eye twitched every few seconds, sending the tears that were rolling down her cheeks off course. She also noticed on the quick once over of her body that she had scratched a bleeding cut into the top of her left hand from the way her right pointer finger was moving up and down it subconsciously. 

       Waverly did have to thank herself, though. Soon after Nicole had first told her about her PTSD, she had done some reading up on it, knowing that she wanted to be educated on basically every aspect of it because, well, she’s Waverly. And in doing so, she learned the basics on how to bring someone engulfed in a flashback back to reality. And at this point, she had only had to wake her from a number of nightmares that she could count on her hands so this was the first time she had ever had to.

       She let out a breath, trying to calm herself down as much as possible. “Nicole.” Nothing. She swallowed her nerves again as she began to repeat her name every few seconds for a couple of minutes. 

       “Nic.” Blink . A little relief lifted off of her chest. That proved that she had gotten through. She might not have understood , but she at least had a somewhat of a grounding in the real world now. “Nicole, can you tell me if you can hear me, Love?” 

       Her jaw unclenched as her mouth opened slightly, brows coming down. “ Wave .” 

       She smiled a little. “Yea, Honey, I’m right here . . . Can I get a little closer to you?”

       Her face tightened up as it seemed that she was trying to get an answer out, but was struggling to. Small whimpers escaped and her body began to shake as her breathing picked up. 

       "Take your time, Baby. You're ok," she cooed softly. "You're safe, Love."

       Nicole let out a slow breath to try and calm herself down a little as she blinked a few more times. ". . . Close," she mumbled with the attempt at a nod. 

       "Ok." She slowly scooted over to her after moving the rolly chair out of the way, keeping a foot of space between them to make sure she wasn't crowding her. Her eyes drifted back down to her hand, seeing again how she had scratched herself raw. "Can I touch your hand, Baby?" 

       "Yea." 

       "Alright . . ." She slowly reached over to her knees and pressed her fingers gently to her wrist, checking her still-locked eyes for a reaction. It didn't seem to startle her any, so she moved her other hand up and stilled her scratching finger, pulling her hand off her knee and bringing it to her lap. She pressed her left thumb to the back of her hand to stop the bleeding and interlocked their fingers with her free hand. "What do you see, Nic?" She slowly reached over her lap and unhooked her holster, pulling the gun out even slower and setting it up on the top of the desk. 

       The redhead's hand squeezed her's, the struggle to speak coming back. Waverly ran her right thumb along the side of her finger as her muscles tensed, face scrunching up. "B- . . . B-Bad." She sucked in a breath. " H-Him ." 

       "It's not real, Baby. Just breath, ok?" 

       Nicole's eyes snapped closed and she dropped her head to her knees with a shaky curse, almost crushing all the bones in Waverly's hand with the way she was squeezing it. The muttered no’s came back and Waverly could now feel how much she was shaking from holding her hand. 

       Waverly delivered some calm reassurances for a few minutes, though she wasn’t sure if she could hear her anymore because she wasn’t answering at all.

       She suddenly shouted a loud don't and snapped her head back, the back of her head hitting the inside of the desk with a bang. She began to backpedal her legs against the floor, even though she wasn’t going anywhere, and jerked her hand free from Waverly’s, gripping them around her collar and pulling at it. Her cries filled the room, Waverly’s heart breaking as she deciphered some of the words as ones of apology. She tried to calm her hands as she spoke more now-shaky grounding statements.

       Nicole’s neck got redder and redder as she continued to claw at it, her feet scuffing marks all over the tile and tears marking lines down her purple-flushed cheeks. “ W-Wave ,” she got out through her teeth. “ Make it s- . . . s-s-stop .” 

       The brunette’s eyes widened for a beat, but she quickly sprung into action. She pushed herself backward and grabbed onto her upper arm and left knee, pulling her out from under the desk. She pushed her back against the wall and pulled Nicole in between her legs, trapping her legs down by crossing her’s over her knees. She grabbed onto her arms and pulled them down with all her might, folding them over her chest. She reached up and undid her tie, tossing it away and popping the top three or four buttons on her shirt open before wrapping her arms around her to hold her’s down. She would have done this in the beginning, but since she was showing no signs of a response, she didn’t want to trigger her even more by limiting her movement without knowing it was her. 

       “Shh.” She pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I need you to breathe, Nic. There’s nothing there.” She began to take in some deep breaths herself, letting them out slowly, in hope that she would match it eventually. 

       And after a few minutes, she did. 

       The redhead slowly opened her eyes, tracing them across the station, for she could actually see it now. She let out a hefty sigh, letting her head fall back against her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

       Waverly looked down at her face, seeing how she met her worried eyes. She breathed a relief, loosening her hug a little and reaching up to cup her cheek, pushing a kiss to her cheekbone. “You ok, Sweetheart?” 

       Nicole nodded slowly. “I’m s-sorry,” she whispered, another tear making its way down her face. 

       “No.” Waverly shook her head as she wiped it away. “Don’t you ever apologize for something like that.”

       She swallowed the lump in her throat, closing her eyes again and leaning her forehead against her jaw. The brunette uncrossed her legs, stretching them out on either side of her’s as she gently ran her hand up and down her stomach. 

       After Nicole gathered the majority of her bearings, she slid out from her legs and Waverly stood up, holding her hands out to help her up. She got her to her feet and picked her tie up off the floor, handing it to her, along with her gun. 

       The redhead lifted her head from tying it at the sound of someone clearing their throat. 

       She grit her teeth slightly as she stared into Nedley’s apologetic eyes, squaring her shoulders. “ What ?” 

       His face saddened, though he had expected her to be mad. He turned away and walked towards his office and they both followed, shutting the door behind them. She sat down in front of his desk and Waverly stood behind her, running her thumbs along her shoulders. 

       Randy rubbed his face, leaning forward onto his elbows. “I know you want an explanation, Nicole.” 

       “Damn right, I do,” she seethed. 

       He raised his head from his hands. “Do you remember earlier this year when I went to that Mariners vs Rangers game in Seattle and you got mad that I wasn’t bringing you?” 

       She cocked an eyebrow at the question, leaning back in the chair slightly. “Yes . . .” She answered slowly, trying to figure out what that had to do with anything. 

       “I don't like the Mariners.” 

       “Then why’d you go to their game?” She asked with a shrug. 

       “Cause the Rangers were playing,” he informed, raising his eyebrows. 

       She blinked at him for a good couple of seconds. “. . . Since when do you like the Rangers?” 

       “Since always.” 

       She rubbed her forehead, leaning her arm onto the armrest. “You’re confusing me.”

       The Sheriff stood up and began to pace across his office, rubbing his hands together. “Do you know why I didn’t take you with me?”

       “I don’t know, Nedley! Cause you’re mean?” She still had no idea what any of this had to do with why he had her 911 call on his computer . 

       “Cause it’d make me think too much about how Will and I went to games back in the day!” He realized how loudly he said it and pursed his lips, pushing his hand through his hair as he looked at her slightly-startled and maybe even scared face. “And I couldn’t do that to you.” 

       “Y-You knew my father?” She whispered with wide eyes. 

       He sat back down. “We met at Fort Bliss in ‘80. We both got sent there for Basic Training-” 

       “You met in the Army ?” She gawked. 

       He nodded. “I was a ranch kid from South Dallas and he was a city boy, but somehow we hit it off . . . We even ended up in the same battalion when we got shipped off to Lebanon in ‘83. I got discharged not even a month after from the blast that sent shrapnel into my side, but we stayed friends.” 

       The redhead was blinking at him as she tried to comprehend everything. “So how’d you get here?” 

       “Well. I was over at your parents' house for dinner while he was home on leave and it happened to be one of the occasions that Ina Chetri was also in town. She had brought one of her best friends from work down with her.” 

       “ Rebecca ?” Nicole gasped. She knew that Ina and Nedley’s wife worked together. 

       “Once she found out that I was a cop, she was head over heels,” he chuckled. “She moved down there with me and that was it for a while. But . . . But Will was different after he got back from Desert Storm in ‘91. He started a fight with me one day and it got ugly, so that was the end of our friendship . . . I never actually ended up meeting you until . . .” He got quiet and looked down at his feet. 

       When he raised his eyes to her’s again, they were soft, almost apologetic. 

       And she realized she had seen those eyes before. Way before this day.

       She jumped straight out of her chair, eyes bulging out of her head. “ YOU !” She flapped a finger at him as she tried to find words. Her shoulders dropped as he stood up, walking around the desk towards her. Her voice got quiet. “You-You’re the one t-tha-that . . . that talked to me an-and then made sure . . . that I was ok.” She got even quieter as he stepped closer again, seeing how she was swaying. “ You’re the one that made me realize I needed to be a cop .”

       Waverly and Nedley each grabbed one of her arms as she almost fell backwards from shock. “Now I wouldn’t say that,” he mumbled. 

       “No . . . You-You’re why I became a cop, Randy . . . I just . . . kn-knew I had to after that.” 

       “I saw your name on the interview list and I . . .” He let out a small laugh. “I couldn’t believe it. I figured you were going to end up being the first girl in the MLB or something after seeing your name everywhere, not one of my deputies.”  

       “And have a bunch of 5 foot 8 guys smacking my ass as good sportsmanship all day long? Yea, mhm.” 

       “ With a million-dollar salary.” 

       She shrugged a little. “I’d rather be here.” Her eyes got misty and she swallowed. “Everything good that I have in my life is because I came back to the Ghost River Triangle.” 

       Nedley’s face changed and she traced her eyes over it to try and decipher it. “. . . You’re like a daughter to me, Nicole.” 

       Her eyes widened and her heart thumped in her ears as the burn of emotions slid up her throat. She tapped her fist against her side, rocking slightly on the balls of her feet as she tried to keep it together, but that softness in his eyes always seemed to break her walls down. She surged forward, wrapping her arms around him and pushing her face into his shoulder. He hugged her back tightly, letting out a heavy breath. 

       He gave her arm a good squeeze after a couple of long seconds. “You're wrinkling the crease in my khakis,” he mumbled near her ear. 

       She let out a soft snort as she pulled away, wiping her eyes. “ You are a tough act to follow,” she breathed. 

       He shook his head. “I'm not going anywhere . . . Not if you really need me.” She smiled widely, feeling a bit of relief lift off of her chest. He smiled back, clapping her shoulder. “Congratulations, Sheriff Haught. You earned it.” 

       Nicole blushed, pulling him into another hug and rocking him side to side. 

       “Sorry to kinda ruin your moment, but why’d you move up here, Sheriff?” Waverly asked. 

       He looked over her shoulder at her. “Rebecca hates hot weather, so Texas wasn’t cutting it for her. We already had the house up here bought and moved us and Chrissy up here about a month after all of that happened.” 

       “What about me?” Rebecca poked her head into the office with a questioning brow. 

       Nedley smiled at her nervously. “Just talking about Texas, Dear.” 

       “Blech, Texas .” She walked into the room, sitting herself in his office chair with a spin. “Just thinking about it makes me sweat.” 

       They broke into a fit of laughter and she blinked at them, confused about why she apparently had just said the funniest thing in the world. 

.  .  .  

       Nicole’s eyes blinked open, feeling a small, fluffy weight on her face. She quickly brought her hands up and lifted it, seeing two little blue eyes blinking down at her with a meow. She sat up with wide eyes, looking at the tiny grey Munchkin kitten in her hands. She looked to her right after hearing a giggle, seeing Waverly kneeling on the floor next to her with a smile ripping her face in half. “Happy birthday.” 

       Her opened smile grew wider as she lifted the kitten to her face. “Who is dis ?” She cooed softly. 

       The brunette crawled up onto the bed next to her. “That’s for you to decide.” 

       Nicole set the little grey poof down, letting it fumble across the blanket. She laid down on her stomach in front of it, laughing as she tickled it’s stomach when it front-flipped over a large mountain of fabric. “Did you really get me a kitten for my birthday, Baby?” She asked sweetly as the smaller girl laid down next to her. 

       “Technically yes , but I saw something about him the other day online. They found him and another abandoned on the side of the road so the animal hospital nursed them both back to health. The other one had already found a home, but this one hadn’t, so they were going to send him to a kill shelter and we wasn’t gonna have that, now was we ?” She scratched his sides as he rolled towards her. 

       Nicole pouted her lip, pulling him closer to her face. “You was almost school chicken nuggets,” she frowned as he pawed at her nose. 

       Waverly roughly smacked her arm with a gasp. “ Nicole !” 

       She laughed, flipping her back and setting him on her chest. She was sure this was the tiniest kitten she had ever seen. “How old is he?” 

       “I think they said around 11 weeks?” She guessed. 

       The kitten made his way down to her stomach, sticking his butt up as he went to jump off. “Geronimo!” She shouted as he went, taking a few more steps to get to Waverly with a meow in complaint, his tiny legs doing him no good on the squishy bed. 

       She flipped over and lifted him up above her face. “I think we found your name, Little Dude,” she smiled, tipping her head to look at the redhead. 

       Nicole grinned, scooting over to press a kiss to her lips. “We are so calling him Gerry for short.”

       “ No .”