50. Nothing Can Change That

       Nicole’s eyes slowly opened. She felt a small arm wrapped around her middle holding her tightly. She let out a small sigh, feeling safe in her girlfriend’s arms. A gentle kiss was pressed into the back of her neck. “Morning, Baby,” Waverly whispered.

       Nicole flipped over in her arms to face her. “Morning,” she mumbled back, looking up at her smiling face.

       Waverly brushed her hand softly through her hair, moving strands out of her face. “Sleep good?” She asked, kissing her forehead. 

       “Mhm.” Her eyes slowly drooped back shut after a few more seconds of the smaller girl pushing her fingers through her hair. 

       Images of the night before suddenly flashed in front of her eyes, causing them to shoot back open. “Orion.” She flicked the blankets off of herself and made a move to dash off of the bed, but the smaller girl straddled her hips, pressing her hands into her shoulders to hold her down. “Waver-”

       “Calm down, Baby. He’s fine. They fixed him,” she assured.

       Her eyes widened. “Wh- He- You-”

       “Nedley called me earlier and told me.”

       Her eyes grew even wider. “When?!” 

       Waverly reached and grabbed her phone off the edge of the bed. “He called right after you fell asleep. It’s about 11 now.” 

       Nicole began squirming again. “I told you to tell me, Waverly, I gotta go see him,” she mumbled almost in a growl.

       Waverly grabbed her face with both hands. “Nicole. Stop it.” The redhead stopped moving, looking up at her with scared eyes. “You’re not going anywhere until you calm down. Take a breath, Love.”

       Nicole let out a shaky exhale, slowly pulling in some air. “I-I have to work at 1, how’m I-”

       “No, Baby,” Waverly said softly, shaking her head. “Nedley pulled you off the roster for the next three days. He doesn’t want you back until you’re ok again.” 

       She furrowed her brows tightly. “I am ok, what the hell-”

       The brunette gently pushed a hand through her hair. “Shh. You’re not ok, Baby. I know you want to be ok. But you’re not.” Nicole let out a small whimper, bringing her eyes away from her face. “C’mere,” Waverly whispered, sitting up and climbing off of her. The Officer slowly sat up and scooted over to her, crawling into her lap. Waverly hugged her arms around her middle and the redhead clutched her arms around her neck, burying her face into her shoulder. 

       They sat there in a silent embrace for an hour. Nicole’s weight pressing down onto her legs made her feet that were tucked under them go numb after about 10 minutes, but she didn’t care. Her fingers clawed hard into her shoulders, and Waverly knew she’d have bruises. But she didn’t care.

       She didn’t care at all.

       The redhead shakily sat back after a few more minutes, looking down at her face. “Thank you,” she breathed silently. 

       “Anything, Love." Nicole gave her a small smile, rubbing her thumbs along her neck. She tipped her head up, giving her a soft kiss, body completely relaxing in her lap. Waverly pulled back after a few seconds. “You think you will be ok going to Denny’s this morning?” Her smile widened and she leaned forward, mumbling a yes against her lips. 

.  .  .

       “Are you sure you don’t want any more, Honey?” Waverly asked with furrowed brows. The Deputy had only eaten half a pancake and one or two pieces of bacon. 

       “I’m not that hungry,” she mumbled, looking up at her as she sipped on her chocolate milk.

       The brunette hid her pursed lips with her coffee mug as she downed the rest of it. “Alright. Let’s get going.” They gathered their things and paid their bill, heading out to the Jeep. 

       “Can we stop by Walmart before we go?” Nicole asked as she buckled herself up. 

       “Sure, why?” She questioned as she started the car.

       “I need to get something.”

.  .  .

       Waverly put the car in park outside of the hospital, giving the redhead’s hand a squeeze. “Ready?” 

       Nicole looked towards her, releasing the side of her cheek from her teeth. “Yea,” she sighed, stepping out of the car. She took Waverly’s hand and they walked inside up to the front desk. “Do you have a room number for Orion Wu?” She asked the receptionist. 

       “Uhm . . . Only family members are allowed in the ICU, Ma’am,” the woman said with an apologetic smile. Nicole leaned up against the counter and stuck her hand in her pocket, sliding her badge towards the woman with her lips set in a straight line. 

       “Room number, please?” 

       She pursed her lips at her, looking towards her computer screen. “221 . . . Officer.” Nicole gave her a smile, shoving the badge back in her pocket. She walked off towards the elevator, pulling Waverly along behind her, who mouthed a sorry to the receptionist. The redhead mashed the second floor button once they stepped in, and the brunette wrapped and arm around her waist. 

       They exited the elevator and began walking down the hallway, looking up at the room numbers as they passed them. The girls slowed to a stop right outside of Orion’s room, noticing the door was open. Nicole looked in, seeing he was awake and talking to his mom, who was in a chair next to him with his little brother on her lap. She leaned in on the door frame with a smile. “Hey, kid.” 

       The three heads turned to look at her, a big smile popping up on Orion’s face. “Hi, Coach,” he breathed softly. The little one jumped off of his mom’s lap and ran over to her, holding his hands up, wanting to be picked up. She lifted him into her arms. 

       One thing she learned had from the night before was that this little kid loved monkeys. The room it all happened in was obviously his room. There were monkeys painted on the walls and he had about 500 monkey stuffed animals piled up on his bed. He had been even wearing a monkey shirt. 

       “Hi,” she smiled in a sweet voice that made Waverly’s heart melt. “I got you something.” She handed him the blue velcro-handed monkey that they had got from Walmart. 

       He took it with a gasp. “Monkey!” He squealed, holding it up for his mom to see as she walked them into the room. 

       “Another one, aye?” She said with a little laugh, giving Nicole a smile. She and Waverly sat down on the two chairs on the other side of the hospital bed, the little boy playing with his new friend in her lap with his head leaning against her chest. 

       “How’re you feeling, bud?” She asked Orion, looking up at him with furrowed brows. 

       “Ok . . . I guess,” he said with a little shrug. She nodded slowly. “How are you doing?” 

       The Officer let out a heavy sigh, rubbing her thumb on the little boy’s leg with the arm that was wrapped behind his back. “I am . . . also ok, I guess.” 

       Orion squinted at her. “Is she lying, Waverly?” He asked, shifting his eyes towards the brunette. 

       “Uhm . . .” She looked towards the redhead. “I think she is just really glad that you’re all ok.” 

       Nicole nodded, giving her a half-smile. She looked down at the little one again. “What is your name?” She asked, poking his stomach. 

       “Apollo,” he giggled, wrapping the monkey’s arms around her head. 

       “Well, Apollo, I think you just started a new fashion trend. What do you think, Wave?” She turned her head to look at her, but couldn’t see her face, for the arms were blocking her vision. 

       “I think you’re right,” she laughed, shaking her head with a disapproving look at Apollo.

       He laughed, pulling the arms away. Nicole looked down at him. “Did she lie to me?” He shook his head quickly, but the huge smile on his face told otherwise. “If you say so,” she sighed, looking back up at the family.

       The mom had tears in her eyes. “This is the first time I’ve seen him smile today,” she mumbled. The redhead looked down at the boy and pushed her hand through his messy black locks.

       She stood up and set him in Waverly’s lap, looking back up to the mother. “Can we talk . . . out there?” She asked, throwing her thumb over her shoulder. The woman nodded, standing up and walking over to her. Nicole looked towards Orion as they walked out. “Orion, you’re in charge,” she smirked. Waverly scoffed, snapping her head towards her. She shot her a wink, closing the door behind them. They walked a short distance down the hallway, finding a set of chairs to sit at. 

       “I’m . . . Eleanor, by the way.”

       “Nicole,” she greeted with a smile, shaking her hand. “So . . .  I know you’ve already probably talked to every single officer we have, I get that. So, I’m not a cop right now, I’m just your son’s baseball coach. And . . . I’m worried . . . about all of you.” 

       Eleanor looked down at her hands. “Uhm . . . I think Apollo’s a little too young to understand what happened, he’s only 3. And . . . My memory of the night’s pretty foggy. Side effect from the concussion or whatever. So . . . Orion’s the only one . . . that has to really bear the weight of all of this. And I don’t know-” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “I don’t know what to do.” 

       Nicole bit the inside of her lip, looking up at her. “Well. I think the first thing you need to do is . . . find a new place to live. Stay with family or rent somewhere until you can find something stable. Moving those kids back into that house is just going to keep those all those memories alive. And . . . And you need to get both of them in to see someone. Orion’s not going to not want to and he’s going to tell you he’s fine. But. The longer you wait, the more it is going to tear him up inside. If they . . . decide they want to get him on medication, let them. They know what they are doing.” 

       “Medication? I’m not turning my kid into a robot,” she said, shaking her head at her. 

       “It doesn’t do that,” Nicole assured. 

       “How would you know?” Eleanor asked angrily, tipping her head at her. 

       “Cause I’ve been on it for 10 years and I don’t think I’m a robot,” she said before realizing what she was saying. She cleared her throat, sitting up straighter. The other woman’s demeanor shifted and she looked up at her apologetically. “Look . . . I’m not trying to tell you how to parent your kids. It’s your decision on how you want to do this. I just wanted you to hear from someone who cares about all of you.” 

       The woman let out a sigh. “Ok . . . I trust you . . . I already talked to my mom in Saskatchewan. I think . . . I think we are going to move in with her once Orion is released. And . . . I’ll find them a therapist there.” 

       “That's good, really good. But . . . I think you should probably talk to someone, too. Even if you don’t remember what happened last night, I’m sure that there are things that you do remember.” 

       Eleanor’s eyes slowly filled with tears and she dropped her head to her hands. “Everyone told me to get away. Everyone. And I didn’t listen. And now it-it’s all my fault.” 

       Nicole quickly stood up from her chair, kneeling down in front of her with her hands on the mother’s knees. “It is not your fault. Don’t do that to yourself, ok? That- That guy was messed up. He did this. There are some horrible, manipulative people in this world. And we always think they have the best intentions because that’s what they make us think. This is not your fault whatsoever, Eleanor, and you have to believe me when I tell you that. You’re just going to make a mess of yourself if you do. And right now. Those kids need you. They need their mom.” 

       Eleanor slowly lifted her head. The Deputy looked at her with hopeful eyes and she nodded her head, more tears falling down her cheeks. They both stood up and Nicole pulled her into a hug. “Thank you for saving my kids,” she sniffled. 

       “I was just doing my job,” the Officer mumbled. 

       The black-haired woman pulled back. “They told me . . . you were the one who shot William.” The redhead rubbed the back of her neck. “And that . . . Orion wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you giving him CPR.” Her eyes welled up with tears again. “I . . .I don’t know how I can repay you, Nicole.” 

       She shook her head. “Just get yourselves the help you need. That’s all I ask.” 

       Eleanor nodded, pulling her into another hug. They walked back towards the room and opened the door, finding Waverly laying on her stomach on the floor, watching Apollo dance the stuffed animal around in front of her. He looked up to see them walking back in the room, running back over to Nicole. She chuckled, picking him up again, holding a hand out to help the brunette up off the floor. The redhead walked around to the open side of his bed and laid down next to him, taking her batman snapback off and placing it on his head with a smile.

       “Really?!” He gasped. 

       “Uh-huh,” she confirmed, slowly running her hand up and down the little boy’s back, noticing he had closed his eyes with the blue monkey held close to his face. Waverly sat down next to Eleanor, beginning to chat her up about her kids.

       “Thanks, Coach!” He smiled brightly. 

       “Ya know . . . You’re a really brave kid, Orion.” He shrugged slightly. “I’m serious. I know what happened last night was . . . really, really scary for you. And you were really brave.” 

       “I guess,” he mumbled, messing with the IV in his hand. 

       “I don’t want you . . . to be afraid to talk about your feelings. And I don’t mean right now because I know it is all still really fresh. But you can’t keep all of that bottled up inside forever.”

       “I have to be strong, though. For them.” He looked down at his sleeping brother. 

       “They’d rather see you happy than pretending to be,” she pointed out. Orion pursed his lips. “Look, kid.” She swallowed. “I know what you’re going through . . . cause I was you at one point.” 

       He looked towards her confusedly. “What? . . .” 

       Nicole hugged her arms tighter around the little boy on her chest, looking forward. “When I was a freshman . . . my father found out where I lived and . . . attacked my mom and I. Kinda sorta what happened with you, but he had . . . a knife instead.” She hitched the sleeve up on her left arm so he could see the scar there.

       He looked up from it wide-eyed. “Why?” He asked quietly. 

       “Well. He found out that I was gay somehow . . . And didn’t agree with it.” 

       Orion leaned his head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

       She shook her head, patting his thigh. “No, don’t feel sorry for me. I told you that because I want you to know that you’re not alone. I was where you are. I felt like I had to be strong and that no one would understand my feelings. But it hurt me more to hold it in than it did to let it out. It took me months to start talking about it . . . I want you to know that you can always talk to me about whatever you need to talk about. I’m going to give you and your mom my number before I leave that way y'all can text or call me whenever you need to.” 

       She heard him let out a happy sigh. “Thank you, Coach,” he yawned. 

       Nicole yawned hearing him yawn. “It’s no problem, Bud,” she assured. 

       Little did she know, in the next few minutes, instead of one, there would be three people sleeping on that hospital bed. 

       Waverly and Eleanor had been so caught up in talking to each other that they hadn’t noticed they had fallen asleep. It wasn’t until 10 minutes later when the brunette happened to glance over that she saw the trio out like a light. “Well then,” she sighed.

       The mother looked over, a small smile forming on her lips. “That’s adorable,” she chuckled. Apollo was still asleep on Nicole’s chest while Orion’s head rested on her shoulder, the redhead’s leaning against his. 

       “Should we leave them?” Waverly questioned. 

       “I think they could all use some sleep, don’t you think?”

       The younger girl let out a raspberry. “Oh yea.”

.  .  .

       The only reason Nicole had been woken up was because a doctor came into the room and needed to check over Orion’s sutures about 2 hours later. The girls handed out goodbyes to the family, Apollo not letting Waverly put him down in protest of their departure. Once his mother finally removed him, they said one last goodbye and walked out of the hospital.

       The brunette let out a sigh as she started the car. “How are you feeling, Baby?” 

       “Better,” she confirmed, leaning her seat back a bit. 

       “Up to go get a new phone?” Nicole rolled her head to face her, giving her a small smile. 

.  .  .

       Nicole actually did listen and took her three days off of work. But that was it. She returned the day after, no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. Waverly was not particularly happy about that. She believed she needed to take a longer break, but the redhead insisted it was only for the best. 

       Though, maybe it wasn’t. 

       Things in the Earp-Haught household were going a little rocky. The only time Nicole left the house was to go to work. Or to go to baseball practice. Or to go see Orion. And when she was home, she was laying in bed all day long. She didn’t work out. She didn’t go over to the Homestead. She sat. At home. In bed. Either watching TV or playing Xbox. 

       And that meant Waverly had to do everything around the house. She cooked. She cleaned. She did the dishes and laundry. All by herself. She was even the one that went with Wynonna to one of her prenatal appointments. She didn’t mind doing all of it. Ok, maybe she did mind a little bit. But that only because she had other things to do and it’d be nice to have a little help. She got that Nicole was working through a hard time. But it still drove her crazy coming home from a long shift to find her sitting in the dark at 3 am with a bag of Cheetos in her lap and a controller in her hand, Call of Duty blasting throughout the house, meaning that she had to wait to go to sleep until she was finished with her one more game.

       You’d think after the trauma she went through with guns she would refrain from playing a game with guns, but apparently not. 

       But it wasn’t only all of that. 

       Waverly’d never see herself complain about not having sex. 

       But she was. 

       It had been 2 weeks since the night of the shooting. And that meant it had been 2 weeks and 2 days since they had done it. They’d make out sometimes. But that was it. Nicole would push her away before they could get anywhere. And, frankly, she was tired of cold showers at this point.

       One night after coming home from a double shift, she snapped. She walked into the bedroom, finding the normal Nicole with her headset and controller surrounded by various food wrappers from throughout the day. Normally, she’d at least get a “Hey, Waves, how was work?” But not tonight. She walked past the TV to get to the closet, and apparently, her .5 second interruption got the redhead killed in her game. 

       “Waverly, what the hell?!” Nicole complained. 

       The brunette turned to look at her, confused about what she had done. “What?” She asked slowly. 

       “You made me fucking die,” she grumbled, turning her attention back to the TV.

       Waverly didn’t know why it made her so mad. But it just did. She slammed the shirt she was about to change into to the ground. “Well, sor-ry, Nicole! I guess I’ll just go to the Homestead tonight so I don’t bother you anymore!” She snatched her purse from the end of the bed, stomping out of the room.

       The Officer pulled her headset off, quickly climbing off the bed. “No, Wave, c’mon, don’t leave. I’m sorry,” she called after her. 

       “Just fuck off, Nicole,” she snapped, slamming the door behind her. The redhead threw her hands up at the closed door, letting out a confused scoff. 

       The depression that her mind had engulfed her in left her oblivious to what she was doing to herself and her girlfriend. 

       Waverly slowed to a stop outside of the Homestead, hopping out of her Jeep and sulking up to the door, giving it a knock. Wynonna answered a few seconds later. “Hey, Babyg- Why did you just knock on our door?” 

       A few tears finally spilled out of her eyes. “Ca- Can I stay here tonight,” she asked helplessly.

       Her sister furrowed her brows, letting her into the house. “What the hell happened, Wave?” She asked softly, placing her hands on her shoulders. 

       “Fucking Nicole!” She cried, pushing her hands through her hair. “I can’t do it anymore! All she does is sit in that damn bed all day. And I come in and walk past the TV, as one does to get to our closet. And she’s all, “What the hell, Waverly. You made me fucking die!” Like, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize your girlfriend was less important than a stupid video game!” She lowered her voice a bit. “An-And I understand. Orion almost died. She had to shoot that guy. It reminded her of when-” She paused, knowing Wynonna didn’t know about what happened with her dad. “But it’s been 2 weeks. I’ve offered to take her to talk to someone. I’ve told her she can talk to me. I mean, she told Orion’s mom that she can’t put it all on herself, but that is exactly what she is fucking doing!” She dropped her head, looking down at the floor. “I just want my Nicole back. The Nicole who’d take me out on a date for no reason. The Nicole that’d stop by Shorty’s on her break to see me. The Nicole that’d make stupid jokes just to annoy the shit out of me . . . The Nicole that’d actually do the fucking dishes.” 

       Wynonna stepped forward, pulling the sobbing girl into her arms, pushing her hand against the back of her head. “I’m so sorry, Wave,” she consoled.

       “What do I do, Wy?”

       Wynonna pulled out of the hug, draping an arm over her shoulder. “I don’t know . . . Let’s go to bed.” 

       The smaller girl nodded and they walked upstairs, Waverly curling up in Wynonna’s bed right next to her. 

       What Wynonna had told her was true. She didn’t know what Waverly should do.

       But she sure as hell knew what she should.

.  .  .

       The older Earp squatted down in front of their door, pulling the hairpin out of her pocket and picking the lock. She heard the click, so she stood up and pushed the door open, walking into the house. She walked straight back to the couple’s room, throwing the door open, finding the redhead sleeping facedown on the bed. She walked over and grabbed one of the pillows, smacking the back of her head with it. “Get up,” she ordered. 

       Nicole mumbled a complaint, grabbing the pillow under her head and holding it down over her head. It suddenly hit her that no one was supposed to be in the house. She lifted her head, squinting at the figure standing next to her, recognizing the black jeans and boots as Wynonna Earp. “What d’you want,” she groaned. 

       “Haught, get your ass up,” she snapped, smacking her with the pillow again. 

       Nicole huffed as she flipped over, rubbing her eyes. “How’d you get in here- Did you pick my lock? I swear to God, Earp, if you picked my lock.” 

       Wynonna wacked her once more with the pillow, hard this time. “Nicole! Get up!” 

       “Ow!” She complained, sitting up. “What the fuck is your deal?!”

       Wynonna grabbed her arm, yanking her to her feet. “Get dressed.” 

       “Why?”

       “Because I said so!” She gave her a shove towards her closet. 

       “I’m not going anywhere,” she scoffed, crossing her arms. “This is my one day off this week. I’m staying home.” 

       Wynonna flung the pillow at her. “All you fucking do anymore is sit here on your ass! What the hell do you mean you’re staying home.” 

       “Oh, come on, Wynonna. I do not. I’m at work half the time these days.” 

       “Where you are sitting on your ass 60% of the time. You do remember I work with you, right?!” 

       “Ok?! I have baseball 3 times a week! I’m not on my ass then, am I?!” 

       Wynonna shook her head with an angry laugh. “I want you to tell me the last time you left this house that wasn’t for either of those things.” Nicole’s mouth opened immediately to answer. But then she thought about it. She honestly hadn’t left since her last visit with Orion before they moved in with his grandma last week. “Hmm?” 

       The redhead scratched the back of her neck. “I . . . I don’t know, Wynonna,” she sighed. 

       “Ok. Let’s try this. When was the last time you actually did something to help around the house?” Nicole furrowed her brows, opening her mouth to snap like she had with the last question. But then she thought about it again. And she really didn’t know the answer. The brunette took a step closer to her. “Yea. I didn’t think so. Here, I think I’ve got one you can answer. Who is the one who has been leaving the house for you and has been doing the cleaning and cooking and the everything that you’re not?” 

       She was quiet for a few seconds, chewing her cheek as she looked in the other direction. “Waverly,” she mumbled in a whisper. 

       “Yuh-huh. And you know why? Cause she loves the shit out of you and is too afraid to hurt your feelings by telling you to buck the fuck up. Because she knows that you’re going through a hard time. And I know that too, trust me. But I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. Because I know you're a tough bitch with a hard-ass head. And I also know that you’re not going to wake the fuck up and realize what you’re doing unless someone comes and shoves it down your throat. I am worried about you, Nicole. We all are. Because this isn’t like you. You are throwing your life away. And I’m not going to sit here and watch you do that. So please. Get dressed. And if you can’t do this for yourself at least do it for Waverly because in case you haven’t noticed, it is really tearing her up her seeing you like this.” The redhead looked up at Wynonna slowly, eyes filled with sorrow and regret. She moved over to her closet and pulled a clean hoodie out to replace the one that she was wearing. “No,” Wynonna groaned. “I said get dressed.” 

       She flung her arms out in front of her. “What does it look like I’m doing?” 

       “Actually make it look like you care about yourself. That’s what get dressed means, Nicole!” She sighed with a nod, sorting through her closet, pulling out a grey t-shirt, some ripped black skinny jeans, and a jean jacket with patches all over it. “Thank you,” Wynonna sighed, plopping down onto the bed, taking a handful of Lucky Charms out of the box that was laying there. 

       “Are you going to watch me change?” 

       “Of course I am, Haught Bod. I couldn’t pass up this golden opportunity.” Nicole rolled her eyes, changing out of her sweats, putting on the first nice outfit she had worn in weeks. 

       After she got cleaned up, Wynonna got her in the truck and pulled away from the house. “Where are we going?” Nicole asked. 

       “You’ll see when we get there.” 

       Wynonna pulled up the bumpy driveway of the Homestead, looking over to see Nicole had her head leaning against the window. She parked, turning the truck off. “Seriously, Earp?” 

       “Yes. Let’s go.” She climbed out of the car and walked around, yanking her side open, dragging her out. “Go.” 

       “Wynonna, come on,” the Officer complained. The brunette gave her a shove and she threw her a look as she trudged towards the door. She stopped right outside it, looking up at Wynonna with worried eyes. 

       “Go,” she said through her teeth, opening the door and giving her another shove. The redhead looked back at her with a scoff, but when she looked forward, she saw Waverly looking up at her from the kitchen table with tear stains on her face. She clenched her jaw, swallowing the lump that slid up her throat as she slowly walked over to her, sitting across from her. 

       The brunette swirled her spoon around in her cereal bowl, looking up at her. “Did she make you come here?” She asked, setting the spoon down and leaning back in the chair. 

       “Not really- kinda- maybe?” 

       Waverly did a long nod. “Shocker,” she mumbled. 

       “Baby,” she sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

       Waverly stood up with a huff. “Fuck, Nicole, I don’t care about what you said last night.” 

       “And that’s not the only thing I’m sorry about . . .” She stood from her chair, moving around to the other side of the table

       Waverly dropped her bowl in the sink, slowly turning around to face her, leaning back on the sink. “Huh?” 

       The redhead took a few more steps closer to her. “I’m sorry . . . that I didn’t realize how much of an ass I’ve been. And I’m sorry that I’ve ignored you when you were trying to help me. And I’m sorry that you’ve had to do everything lately because I’ve been a lazy bitch. And . . .” Her words started to get choked up as tears began to roll down her cheeks. “I’m sorry I’ve let all my bullshit get in the way of us because I wouldn’t let you in. And I’m sorry that I’m hurting you and I know that your heart is too big to tell me that, but we both know it’s true. An-And I’m just so sorry, Waverly. I never meant for this to happen cause you’ve told me over and over to talk about what’s going on with me and I promised in Vegas that I’d never do this to you again, b-but I did. So . . . So if-if you want to . . . break up, I'd understand.” She looked up to meet the brunette’s eyes. 

       Waverly’s mouth hung open as silent tears rolled out of her wide eyes. “Wh-Why would I want that?” She questioned breathlessly. 

       “Cause all I do is hurt you an-and I’m too broken to even realize it.” 

       “Do you want to break up?” Her heart stopped beating as she waited for Nicole’s answer. 

       “If . . . If it means you would be happy . . . cause all I want is for you to be happy. And if I’m preventing that-” She stopped talking when Waverly walked towards her, shaking her head. 

       She grabbed her trembling hands with her own that were shaking just as much. “Baby, you are and always will be my happy place, nothing can change that,” she assured. 

       Nicole let out a breath, eyes closing as she wrapped her arms around the brunette, relieved sobs pouring out of her mouth. They both quickly collapsed to a sobbing mess onto the floor, wrapped in each other’s arms, all the hurt and guilt from everything that had happened recently slowly disappearing.