Curiosity

~Colin's POV~

I am struggling immensely to keep my excitement and desire under control. Nothing has ever excited me and terrified me more than this moment. Honestly, I am beyond surprised Emery is still here, pleased, but surprised.

I honestly thought she was going to bolt the moment I opened up the door to The Dungeon. It wouldn't have been the first time. When I first designed it and had it built Joyce had told me that having it down some hidden staircase might be too much.

I disagreed. I thought it was best for everyone. It was the perfect test to see if a woman was serious about committing to this. Women on the fence never stepped over the threshold and down that staircase, at least not until Emery.

When I pulled open that bookcase, I watched her face drain of colour, her eyes widen in fear. Instinctual fear, the same fear that protects us all from any predator. Because that is what I am. I am a predator. It was why I had to get her out of there, back up here, why I couldn't let her even touch my hand.

If she had touched me... I would have lost it, I knew it. I would have thrown her on the bed down there and fucked her. I was still worried I would. Every minute that passed as she sat reading the contract my excitement grew, my desire and lust for her.

It feels like hours have passed when she finally flips the papers back down, turning her gaze up to mine. Her face is still pale, it's a good thing London knows first aid, I wouldn't be surprised if she passed out from shock. When she meets my gaze I raise a brow, searching her eyes for any hints of what she is thinking or what she is feeling.

"This is very thorough," she finally says.

I can't help the small smirk that crosses my lips. That is her first reaction? "It is," I say. I pause before I add "I am beyond surprised, Emery, that you are still here."

She raises a brow, "why? Did you honestly think I would run away?"

"Yes. That is why I wanted to get your new place sorted before I showed you downstairs or that contract. I was sure that the moment you saw my spiralling staircase you would run," I say honestly.

"That's why there is that room? The room I am sleeping in?" Emery asks. "Because you don't sleep with your Subs?"

"No. No that's not why," I say, shaking my head. "The ones who want me to I will happily sleep with them... in their bed, but there are times when a Submissive wants to be away from their Dominant, in a safe place. A place where they know they can go lock the door and he can't get to them."

"So, after you beat me so badly I can't sit down I can go in there and hide away from you?" Emery asks.

I slowly nod, "yes, if that is what you feel you need. Some women want to be fucked right away after a good spanking, others want to be held, and some want space. You will figure out what you want, and whatever you need I will give you."

"What if I don't want any of this?" she asks tossing the contract down on the coffee table. "Then we won't have any sort of relationship?"

I nod. "I told you, above all else, I need the punishment part of a relationship."

"Why?" she nearly demands.

I shake my head again. "I have told you all you need to know Emery."

"In this thing, it says that you need to be honest with me."

I frown a little. Looking down at the pieces of paper. She had me there, none of my other Submissives ever pointed that out to me. I expected that they are honest with me, therefore it was only right that I am honest too. But my past?

I tense when Emery gets to her feet, expecting her to run, or ask for Reese, but she doesn't. She moves to sit down on the cushion next to me. I can smell her. She must have used that lavender soap that I keep in the bathroom. I love that smell, it's why it's there. But even more so I love the smell of her. I crave it. Now that I have tasted her, now that I have kissed her, I want more of her.

"P-please," Emery says touching my knee, I tense at the touch and she immediately pulls her hand away. "Why do you not like me touching you? Why do you need to punish women?"

What was I supposed to say? Because the last time I tried to give up punishment I almost kill my girlfriend. She had been so sweet, so wonderful, enough to make me want to give up my Dungeon, and I did, for a few weeks. But then one morning I woke up and I was on top of her, strangling her. I probably would have killed her if her brother hadn't come into the room when he heard the commotion. He knocked me off her, called 911 and the paramedics managed to get her breathing again.

I paid off her entire family to keep it quiet. She didn't want to press charges anyway. But I still think she should have. Maybe she would have if she could speak. I couldn't give up my Dungeon, no matter how much I cared for a woman, no matter how much I didn't want to hurt her, I needed my Dungeon, and I needed the punishment.

I slowly get off the couch, hesitating a moment before I run my hand down the buttons on my shirt, undoing each. With them undone I slide it off my shoulders, still facing away from her. Her reaction is instant, I hear her sharp gasp.

I turn my gaze down to my body. Every part of my shoulders, chest, abdomen and all down my back is covered in scars. Some are thin and persistent, these are from the blade of a scalpel, others are larger and more jagged, and those are from a steak knife. Little ones cover my body from the ends of cigarettes and larger ones from the bottom of beer bottles. Scars from coat hangers, and belts.

After a moment I turn around to face Emery, her eyes are wide, and tears are welling in her eyes. Her hand has come up to cover her mouth.

"Please don't cry for me," I say, stepping closer I touch my hand to her cheek. "I am okay now."

"Who did all that to you?" Emery asks.

"My father," I say, my tone is hard and bitter when I answer. My mind is busy with memories from my childhood. Memories of my father holding hot glass bottles to my skin until I beg for him to stop. My little half-sister screaming next to me as she watched the scene.

Emery slowly gets to her feet looking over my body, her hand moves and just before it brushes my skin I catch it, forcing it back and away from me. I take a step back, grab my shirt and slide it back on my shoulders.

"That is why, why you do this? Why you need the punishment?" Emery asks.

I turn my gaze to hers when I have finished re-buttoning my shirt. "Yes. I understand Emery if this is too much for you if I am too... broken and fucked up, but I promise you if you agree to this if you agree to be my Submissive, I will be completely devoted to you and only you."

"I-I don't know... I mean all of this is just... a lot. I mean I've never done anything and now this..."

I frown at her words, holding up my hand to stop her from continuing. "What do you mean you have never done anything?"

She looks at me with a small, embarrassed smile, "w-well... I'm a virgin."

I gaze at her. It is my turn to be speechless. I had guessed that she was inexperienced, but not... how could she still be a virgin!? How had a man never looked her over and decided that he wanted her? I step forward touching my hand again against her cheek.

Now it all makes sense, why I was drawn to her, why I want her so badly. She has no one, I can be her everything just like I want her to be my everything, on top of all that I can be the only man who has ever touched her, who has ever entered her. The only man who has ever pleasured her. All of her pleasure would belong to me.

"Men are idiots," I finally whisper after a moment. "How has such a beautiful woman been allowed to walk around without the touch of a man for so long..." I brush my nose over the top of her head breathing in her scent. "I can show you."

"You want to take me down there? Right now?" Emery asks, her voice is a squeak of fear at the idea.

I shake my head immediately. "No... well I do want to take you down there, desperately, but not yet. I won't take you down there, Emery, until you sign. But there is a club, I can take you there, right now and you can watch."

She hesitates before slowly nodding. "O-okay."

I nod taking a step back.

"A-am I dressed, okay?" she asks looking herself up and down.

I can't help but laugh a little, she looks scarred shitless and yet she is still worried about how she is dressed. Women were funny creatures. "Yes, you fit in fine."

An hour later we are parked outside Hard Metal. When Reese stops the car, I glance at Emery, hesitantly reaching my hand over to touch her knee. "Stick with me, everyone is normally well-behaved but it is a Saturday that is when it is the busiest. If you want to leave at any point, tell me and we will go." I hesitate before adding, "and don't touch me when we are in here."

She glances at me in surprise.

"I only have so much self-control, Emery. I want to do this properly and if you touch me, I am liable to take you up to my private sweet and fuck you," I warn.

"Okay," Emery says nodding slowly.

I step out of the car, walk around to her, and nod to Reese. "Stay here," I order him.

Reese nods, glancing at Emery with a small smile that probably is meant for good luck.

Stepping up to the door I pull it open for her and then follow her inside. The entryway is rather plain. There is a reception desk with two formally dressed women sitting behind it. White marble tile lines the floor and pale, baby blue paint covers the walls. Nothing about this room gives away the secrets that are hidden in this club.

I walk over to the desk. Both women smile warmly at me.

"Mr. Corrette, sir," one of them says in greeting, instantly presenting an NDA and contract onto the desk. This is not the first time I have brought a Sub by the club.

I glance at Emery with a warm smile, "you have to sign an NDA and contract to be permitted entry, it's club policy."

"Contract?" she asks worriedly.

I frown a little bracing myself before I touch her hand. "It's not my contract. It's the clubs, it just says that you are a free-willed adult that is making the choice to come here. It keeps everyone safe. We can go if this is too much."

Emery takes the contract, quickly reading through it. "N-no, that's okay." She grabs a pen from the cup on the desk and scribbles her signature down.

"Thank you, you are free to head in," the woman says, taking the papers back she places them directly in the filing cabinet behind her.

"Ready?" I ask Emery as I step over to the door.

She nods slowly.

"Alright," I say, pulling open the door, the moment I do music floods the room, and I wait for her to step through before I do.

The lights are dim here in here. The walls are painted black with a gold pattern across them. The floors are lined with black tiles. Directly on the left is a large bar with tables around it and stools. Next to it is the dance floor. At the end of the room, a large staircase sits, leading up to the other levels of the club. To the right are two stages, each with a chair, table, and bars. One is already occupied; a brunette is hanging from the ceiling by her wrists as her Dominant uses a large white feather to tease her. In the back corner, there are a few more private areas with curtains.

Emery has stopped just inside the door, gazing around with large eyes. I stand next to her but not too close, I don't even stand close enough to feel her warmth. I can't, I need to keep my distance.

"Mr. Corrette, sir," one of the servers says stepping over to us. "A scotch, sir?"

"Yes," I say glancing at Emery, "did you want anything?" I let myself lean in a little to whisper in her ear, not letting myself breathe in through my nose while I am so close to her, "you can drink here; they won't question it as long as you are with me."

She hesitates, glancing up at me, "I've never drank before."

I smile a little, glancing at the server, "an old Cuban, light on the rum."

"Yes, sir," the server says before heading off.

I turn back to Emery. Her eyes are wide as she watches the Dominant on the stage tease his Sub. Her face is bright with the pain of desire, and I can tell by the way her body is reacting that she is near her breaking point.

"Like what you see?" I ask, pushing my hands into my pockets.

"What is he doing to her?" she asks softly nodding to the couple.

"He's edging her. It's a form of punishment."

"What is edging?"

"It's where you bring someone to the edge of an orgasm but don't let them actually complete it. When you do it repeatedly it is maddening. But when you finally let them experience an orgasm," I trail off letting the scene before me, finish the explanation.

The man is now rubbing his Sub, it's not long before she is crying out in blissful, mind-numbing pleasure. I turn my gaze back to Emery with a small smile.

"As much as BDSM can be painful, the true goal is pleasure, mine but almost more importantly yours," I say as the server walks over with our drinks.

He passes me Emery's first, which has become a long-running ritual. I take a small sip, nodding curtly before passing it to Emery. Taking my own I take a drink.

"Why did you sip it?" Emery asks.

"I always do," I say with a small shrug. "It is a routine now; it helps especially when I have ordered that my Sub be cut off for the night. Rule eight, remember, and it is at least to me a safety thing. I'd much rather take a sip to make sure someone hasn't tainted it than let you take that risk."

Emery gazes at me in surprise, "but then you would be drugged?"

I smile a little, shrugging, "as a Dominant, my Submissive's safety is my number one job remember?"

She turns her gaze to the stage again before back to me. "So, the goal is my pleasure?"

"Yes," I say with a nod. "Even when you start getting into the whipping and the canning. It seems scary but because you have worked up fear in your head." Without touching her I gently guide her towards the back where a Dominant is railing his Sub with a belt.

"Why am I doing this?" he asks coldly.

"B-because I disobeyed you, sir."

Crack. "Why else?" He demands again.

"B-because I flirted with that man," she says through tears.

The man stops his swings and walks around to stand in front of her, he brushes his fingers down her cheek. "And will you do it again?"

"N-no, sir," she whimpers.

"Good girl. Now time for your reward," the man says as he unties her from the table. He helps her sit up on the table, touching his hand to her cheek. "When you are ready, we will go up to my suite and I will make sure you have a nice long orgasm."

The woman nods as he brushes away a few of her tears nice and gentle.

"Come here," he orders, he grabs a blanket from the couch next to him, wrapping it around her, and then he wraps his arms around her hugging her to his chest, soothingly rubbing her back.

I glance at Emery who is gazing at them with wide eyes.

"What do you think?" I ask curiously.

Emery tears her gaze away from the man and woman, turning to me. "I-I don't know. I-I mean I'm curious. I don't know if I should be, part of me is saying I should run for the hills but... my heart... my inner desire..."

I smile a little with a soft laugh, "that is your inner goddess." I frown a little as I watch her gulp down nearly half of her drink. "Emery, don't drink so fast I don't want you drunk."

She pulls the glass back from my grasp "I'm not your Submissive right now, I think I will hold onto a little of my free will."

I frown deeper. Reaching again for her glass as she goes in to take another long drink. "Emery, I am serious, that is enough, I am getting you a glass of water."

Emery defiantly holds my gaze as she downs the rest of her drink. Oh, hell do I wish she had signed that contract. I desperately want to take her over one of these tables and punish her for that look.

"Is there a problem here?"

I turn my gaze at the voice, a man about my height has walked over to join us. His eyes are dark as he steps closer. "You have quite the defiant thing on your hands, don't you, my friend?"

I frown. I hate when cocky, half-drunk men come to poke their noses into my business. "Yes, I do, you can leave now," I order dismissively. My jaw hardens a little as Emery takes a step away from him, which only puts her further out of my reach.

"What are we going to do about that?" the man asks, he is gazing at Emery with hungry excitement, and it makes my hand ball into a fist.

"We are going to do nothing," I say bitterly, glaring coldly at him. "You are going to leave and go find some other girl, she is with me, and I don't share." I turn my gaze to Emery frowning when I see her fearful gaze. "Emery come here."

What was I thinking? Bringing her here on a Saturday? These pushy, obnoxious idiots crowd this place on weekends. They are another reason why I want the club to raise the membership cost. I figured it wouldn't be as bad since it wasn't incredibly late. A bit of tension leaves my shoulders momentarily as Emery obeys my order, but just as she is stepping around the man, he catches her arm, which makes her freeze.

My nostrils flare and I feel anger sweep through me. Stepping up to them I force his hand off her arm, guiding her behind me so my body is between her and this idiot. "Keep your hands off her," I order.

"Or what big man?"

I glare at him gritting my teeth together, "or I will make you regret it."

The man and I are glaring bitterly at each other. Who the hell is this guy? He must be new, most of the regulars know not to fuck with me.

"Is there a problem here, Mr. Corrette, sir?"

I turn my gaze slightly at the thick Russian accent, I know it's Surnin, his voice is unmistakable, he is one of the bouncers, I've known him since I was seventeen. "Yes, there is or there will be if this idiot doesn't take a step back and leave me and my girl alone."

He turns his gaze to the idiot with a small look that reads seriously dude, you don't want to mess around here. "You better leave, come on."

The man hesitates but finally nods, "fine. Hey, baby, if you ever get bored of Mr. Stick Up His Ass, come find me, I'd love to beat that defiance out of you."

I am not in nearly as much control as I normally am. It has been three weeks since I've had a proper Sub, five days since I have had sex, and Emery is standing right behind me, her hand clenched on my bicep like she is holding onto it for dear life. It's like I have somehow overdosed on testosterone, it's like it is pulsing through my veins instead of blood. Shaking off Emery's hold I grab the front of the idiot's shirt, slamming my fist against the side of his head, before throwing him into a nearby glass table. It shatters as he lands on it.

"You ever fucking touch her, and I will put you in the hospital," I growl coldly. I glance at Surnin who is gazing at me in surprise, he is probably wondering where calm-headed and calculated Mr. Corrette has gone. I've been wondering the same thing, maybe I forgot him on that park bench I found Emery on, I'll have to check it on my nightly run. "I want this fucker thrown out of here and never let back in."

"Yes, of course, sir," Surnin says, he nods to another bouncer and the pair of them hall the idiot to his feet, dragging him out of the club.

I force a deep breath through my nose to calm my racing heart and get some control over myself before I turn to Emery. She is practically shaking, staring at me with wide eyes. A few tears are already running down her cheeks.

"Come with me," I order, my voice is soft. I gently wrap my arm around her, guiding her out of the club, ignoring the stunned faces around me. I guide her slowly over to Reese and the car.

Reese is gazing at me in surprise as he promptly pulls open the back passenger door. "Mr. Corrette, sir, is everything alright?"

I ignore him. I am too focused on Emery to even register his question. "Get in."

Emery looks up at me and before I can register what she is doing she is leaning up and pressing her lips to mine. I don't have the willpower to push her away, I am desperate for her, I gently guide her back against the car, cupping my hand to her cheek. The kiss is just as wonderful as the last one was, well nearly. She tastes so sweet, so innocent. Is innocence a taste? But her taste is now tainted a little, it's saltier because of her tears and I hate it, I hate that she is crying, I hate that she is frightened. This was supposed to calm her nerves, not add to them.

I place my other hand against the car, steadying myself as I deepen the kiss, bringing my body closer to her, I let my body get warmed by her heat. I tense as one of her hands comes up to the back of my neck tangling themselves in the hair there. Why am I so torn? A big part of me wants to push her hand away, but another part likes it. I like the feeling of her fingers in my hair.

When she pulls away, she rests her forehead gently against my chest, which makes me tense and I force a shaky breath through my lips. "Yes," she whispers.

"What?" I ask gazing down at her in confusion.

She turns her gaze up to mine. "Yes. I want you. I don't care what I have to do to have you, I want you. I'll sign the contract."

I gaze at her in surprise. How terrible of a man would I be if I let her sign that contract in her current state? Is it my only option? Will she ever sign it if she doesn't tonight? We haven't gone over the rules, we haven't discussed her hard and soft limits. Fuck I don't care. I want her too. We can amend it tomorrow. If she asks to get out of the contract tomorrow, I will let her. But right now? Right now, I want her.

Stepping away from her a little bit I duck into the car, pulling out the contract from the seat pocket. Emery takes it from me and places it against the roof of the car, scribbling her signature.

I take the pen and scrawl my own on the line. Folding it up, I hand it to Reese. I turn to her a twisted smile spreading across my face, "like that you are mine, all mine."

She laughs a little. Excitement shoots through me when she playfully rolls her eyes. Oh, this was going to be so fun, she was so green.

"Roll your eyes at me again and I will spank you," I say sternly.

She jumps a little at my words.

"Are you hungry?" I ask touching my hand to her cheek, brushing my thumb over her bottom lip.

She slowly shakes her head, "n-no... not for food anyways."

I grin as I lean forward touching my lips to her forehead. "Get in the car," I order. She obeys and I shut the door. Turning to Reese I lean closer so I can whisper. "Tonight, phone Surnin, get him to find you the guy that touched her's phone number. Have Charles pay him a visit."

Reese nods. "The usual, sir?" He whispers back.

I nod. "Make sure he regrets ever laying a hand on her."

"Yes, sir," Reese says.

I step back walking around the car, "take us home."

"Yes, sir," Reese says.

"What was that all about?" Emery asks when I sit down.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," I say as I lean back in the seat, glancing at her.

"O-Okay... I'm sorry," she whispers.

I frown softly, "for what?"

"For disobeying and escalating things in there," Emery says. She is looking down at her hands picking at the corner of the cuticle on her thumb. So that is what she does when she is nervous or feeling guilty, that is good to know.

"Emery, look at me," I order gently, when she does, I cup my hand under her cheek. "What happened in there was not your fault. You have no reason to be sorry. Do you understand?"

"How is your hand?" Emery asks, tilting her head down as though trying to see my hand even though it is under her chin.

I shake my head, forcing her chin back up. "Emery, when I ask you a question you need to answer it. So, do you understand that what happened was not your fault?"

She turns her gaze back up at me, biting her lip a little. "I-I don't believe you."

"Emery, you need to believe me. I promise you that I will always tell you the truth." I say honestly. "If I don't want to tell you I will say so. That is how this works, okay? You trust me."

"I do trust you," Emery whispers, gazing into my eyes.

I breathe sharply through my nose. I so desperately want to take her virginity. But not in the car. No. I would take her home. Do it in... not the bed in the Dungeon, I wasn't going to take her down there until we discussed her hard limits. The bed in her room? That wasn't overly appealing to me at the moment either.

Maybe, just maybe, just this once I could take a woman into my bed. Have sex with her in my bed, on my sheets. She was the first virgin I would ever be with that called for something special.

"Reese, have London take the blanket off my bed and put a bottle of champagne in there," I order, tearing my gaze away from Emery's beautiful eyes.

"Yes, sir," he says.

"Colin, how is your hand?" Emery asks.

I glance at her, then down at my hand. I hadn't noticed before that my knuckles are a little swollen, but I doubt they are broken. "My hand is fine." I glance back up at Emery. "Why did you say yes?"

She smiles a little. "Because... because I-I can tell that underneath your desire to punish me you are a good man. I have never had someone care about me... not since my mother died." She glances up at me, "what happened to your mother?"

I freeze at the question. My face turns rigid. I turn my gaze down to the floor hesitating. I don't know what compels me to answer but I do. "She's in a nut house."

"For what?" Emery asks.

"She had a psychotic break about three weeks after I was born, she tried to kill me," I say, my hand is clutched tightly around the handle of my door.

"Oh my god," Emery breathes.

I turn to her, giving her a forced, slightly amused smile. "I told you. I had a rough childhood."

"W-why?"

"Why did she want to kill me?" I ask, glancing at her.

Emery nods.

I hesitate. Do I want to open that can of worms? "My father was a rapist, he raped my mother, and gave her me. According to Joyce, my mother decided to keep me, she said that an innocent baby shouldn't have to live with their parent's mistakes. But then I was born and... I have my father's eyes, the same colour, the same shape, everything about them is the same. Three weeks after I was born, she snapped and tried to smother me with a pillow. She would have done it too if Joyce hadn't come by." I turn my gaze up out the window, watching the city of Chicago pass as we made our way back to the house. The sun was starting to set making the sky streak with colours. "Joyce found her forcing my head into a pillow and pulled her off me. She called 911, my mother went to the psych ward, and I went to the hospital. I was released when I was three months old and put into the foster system, I wasn't there long before I was adopted. They were a wonderful couple, very devoted to me and caring. But when I was four my father figured out that I existed, and he forced them to give me over to him."

"Joyce?"

"Yes, she was my mother's friend in High School."

"Your father was allowed to take you from your family?"

"My mother wasn't particularly a credible individual to instill an arrest. She didn't file a report after it happened... so my father was free to take me."

"That's horrible," Emery whispers reaching across the car she touches her hand to my knee.

I grab her hand pushing it back, I have to stop letting her touch me before it turns into a habit. I turn my gaze on her. "Emery, I did not give you permission to touch me."

"Can I negotiate that part?" Emery asks. "I-I understand if you don't want me to touch your... scars. But other places... could I touch them?"

I hesitate, looking at her. "So, my feet and arms?" I muttered.

"Your legs too?" Emery asks in surprise.

I laugh in dry amusement, "oh yes, he ran out of room on my torso in the final few years. He wouldn't touch my arms and neck because he didn't want to cause suspicion when I went to school but anywhere my clothes covered that was fair game."

"If your feet and arms and neck are all that I can touch... I can live with that," Emery says. "I want to touch you, Colin, I want to run my fingers through your hair."

I glance at her; my jaw tightens a little. Mostly because a part of me likes the sound of that. What the hell was she doing to me? "No. Touching is a hard limit for me, Emery."

It doesn't look like she has completely accepted that but she doesn't keep pushing.