03 >< ........ Again

SIMONE

I rolled out of bed at five, after a horrible night of sleep......... again. I had to get my day started. I prepared breakfast for my siblings and packed them some lunch ........... we were almost out, again. I rubbed my hand over my face as I pushed down the feeling of despair and continued to pack their lunch as I mentally planned my day.

Raven stumbled into the kitchen shortly after me to help out. I loved that girl to the sun and back.

"Is it wrong that I have a crush on the guy in our house?" She mused, sitting on a stool.

"His name is Levi." I said.

"You had to pick up an assassin, didn't you?" She teased, which both got a laugh out of us.

"I never said he is." I said as I moved around to pack a lunch box for Mica.

"You may never know." she said. "But for real. I just hope he isn't associated with any scary stuff. It would be exciting no doubt but, you know. I can't deal with any of that right now. Bad for the skin I heard." I sighed contentedly, Raven knew when to make me smile "how was your night?" She asked, going serious.

"It was fine." I said, closing off so she wouldn't pry.

Gentle but firm so she would know I didn't want to talk at all. I loved my sisters to the sun and back, having them worry about me was the last thing I wanted for them.

"You know what I mean." she said, staring right at me and not relenting until I groaned.

"I didn't have any nightmares." I lied, "I just had to get up and help Levi out a lot."

I couldn't have Raven worrying, she was 17 for gods' sake, she had school to deal with ........ not that it was a problem for her anyway, the child was a genius. I was so happy when she got into a private school that took her education seriously, even though I had to struggle for the school fees. They did give her a 70% scholarship, but that other 30% was still a huge chunk.

"Anyway," I said, dragging my brain out of the darkness it was sinking into. School fees were needed .........again and none of my four jobs was helping that much. "Any new boys at school?" I asked, trying to drag her away from my murky mood.

"Nope." she said, with no interest "not a soul." she paused before she opened her mouth again "but there's this guy, Tex, and he's really annoying. He literally ran into me the other day, slamming me on the floor and all, books flying and that kind of stuff. I was pissed. But then he apologised and offered to make up for it." I thought I noticed her blushing a little, "but I turned him down on it." she said, slamming her emotions down the drain before they had a chance to surface at all.

"Why?" I asked.

"Its confusing being around him." she answered honestly.

"You like him?" I asked, smiling from ear to ear.

"I guess." she said. Raven was never one to beat about the bush and drag things all over. She was a straight to the point kind of girl "but I'm not sure, you know? Like, this could easily be me being infatuated and having nowhere to direct my emotions, so don't go around being happy."

"I guess?" I asked, echoing her statement. "so then why don't you just take him up on the offer?"

"Unlike you, I'm not brazen enough to just up and stomp into his personal space, declare my feelings for all the world to hear and scare him away. That's a no no. I want to enjoy his company first."

"That's nice." I said, "Anyway, you have to get dressed for school. I'm going to wake Mica and the others."

"By the way ....... Simone," Raven said, holding my hand across the kitchen island. I turned to look at her. She smiled "You're the best, I really appreciate all the shit you do for us. And I believe in you. I want you to have a great day." I smiled as she hopped off the stool and headed to the bathroom.

I woke the others then helped them prepare for the day and saw them off.

"You need new glasses Mica". I said to her as I handed her her lunch bag.

I noticed her glasses had been glued together multiple times and they were starting to get old.

"No it's ok Simone," she shrugged "they still have a good year in them. You should use the money for other things." with that, she hugged me and sped off to catch the bus with her sisters.

I smiled at my siblings, wanting to give them the world, but knowing that I couldn't just broke something in me. I could feel a darkness wrap around my brain again but I pulled myself out of it, promising myself some quality time to wallow in depression.

Then I wrote down a list of stuff I needed to get them. Hoodies for Raven. Glasses for Mica. Shoes for Coco and jeans for Lila. That and a lot more.

I headed down to my room and met Levi waking up. I had nearly forgotten he was there. My sisters and I probably woke the poor man before he was fully rested. He stretched before remembering he has stitches so he immediately winced right after. He looked up at me for a while and we both just were there, studying each other.

I had a pretty good idea of what his face looked like, I spent a lot of time observing it when he was passed out and I was cleaning it up, but I never got to pay attention to the colour of his eyes ............ a grey-blue, I concluded. Suddenly I face palmed myself and had to head back to the kitchen to get him some coffee .......... assuming he drank any.

"Where are you going?" He asked, getting out of bed and following me to the kitchen.

His voice was deep and imposing, the only sound filling my small empty house at that moment.

"I just remembered to get you some coffee ...... or something like that ....... if you take any that is?" I said, turning on the kettle.

"I do, thanks." he rumbled, making himself comfortable on a stool on the small kitchen island and running his impressive looking hand through his hair.

What the heck was I thinking that early in the morning?

"You sleep ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I need more pain meds. I think I'm dying." he said. A small smile played on my lips.

"Sure. Sorry." I said, making him some breakfast, spacing out sort of as I thought about all the stuff I had to pay for and things to buy and the like. I sighed.

"...........Simone?" I suddenly heard Levi call, breaking through my barrier of aloofness.

"Sorry, what?" I said, focusing my eyes on him.

"You sighed. For the hundredth time. Are you ok?" he asked, hie eyebrows gently seeming to come together in a frown.

"Again?" I said, groaning as I dropped my head into my hands and pushed some breakfast in front of Levi, "its ok." I said, "I just got distracted and lost in thought."

"Well," he said, stabbing into his food, "never seen anyone prepare breakfast on autopilot." I smirked again, not finding the energy to smile. He pushed his plate between us. I stared confused for a while "You weren't having breakfast, we can share." he said, handing me a fork too.

"Thanks." I said numbly, stabbing into the food as well. I noticed Levi stare at me for ten minutes before I really paid attention to the fact "what?" I asked, meeting his eyes.

"I'm literally offering you your own food and you didn't even notice? Are you sure you're ok?"

I sighed ....... again. I probably had bags under my eyes but that was the least of my worries.

"Just day to day struggles." I said, coming to a conclusion. "sorry to keep spacing out on you."

Levi just looked at me and didn't say anything. I found myself staring at him. Literally, I wasn't even hiding it. My gaze stared at the top of his head, scanning his dark, tousled hair which had an undercut and fell over his eyes a little. I then came to his blue-grey eyes, which were looking down at his plate, then glancing up at me.

He held my gaze for a while before letting me continue my observation. I went down his face, a defined strong jawline and pink lips to go with his appearance a hint of his cheekbones jutting out and sculpting his face. He hadn't had the chance to shave so his face was covered with a steady brush of some stubble, why did I find that as attractive as I did? Unfair and completely uncalled for.

My gaze travelled down to his neck, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed then down to his collar bones, broad and steady shoulders I must note. He wasn't really muscular, more like really lean with long limbs, but the muscles he had were pretty defined. Especially the ones in his arms and abdomen.

How the heck did such a guy find himself in my house? What was I even doing with him? What was his backstory even? Why was he shot?

I shouldn't be looking at his chest really ......... my face heated up and I could feel myself turn red.

"Finally realized you should be staring?" Levi asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, noticing him sport a comfortable smirk.

"No not that." I said, sliding out of my seat and grabbing my purse, "kind of, anyway. I just remembered that I have to get you new clothes. Like, right now."

"Oh." he said ,"yeah. That. Can I tag along?"

"Like that?" I said, gesturing at his shirtless form. He shrugged.

"Why not?" He asked. "I'll just wait in your car as you go shopping." I felt myself turn red again.

That was supposed to be genetically impossible, considering I was black American, but there we were.

"I don't have a car." I said.

"Oh." He said passively, "I guess I'll just have to stay home now."

"Sooo .......... what kind of stuff should I get you?" I asked, praying it wouldn't over stretch my budget. Levi stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled something out then slid it over to me.

"Basic stuff." he said "I plan on taking you up on your offer to hide out here, so I'll need t-shirts, sweatpants, some socks, underwear maybe. And a pair of comfortable crocs." I felt the blood from my face drain. That was waaaay over my budget.

"Uuuuhhhhhh........" I started before noticing the item on the table. It was his wallet.

"Don't worry about it." he said, heading to the sink to wash his dishes. "you could re-stock on some groceries while you're at it."

I just kept on staring right at him with my jaw loose. What kind of human being had I picked up?

"There should be a credit card in there. Use that." he continued nonchalant.

"I'm not using your money for my personal stuff. You don't even know me." I reasoned.

"I have more than enough. Stop whining and just go. I'm feeling drowsy so I'm heading off to lie down."

"You know I'm not going to spend a dime of your money right?" I said.

"I'm asking you to." he said, his voice booming off the walls as he headed to my room again. "think of it as a thanks for not letting me die out on the street. If you're not going to get yourself anything, at least get something for your sisters. They could use some stuff right?"

"Screw you." I said as he hit a nerve. I just heard a chuckle and I wasn't willing to bite the bait and give a response so I just gritted my teeth and headed out.

I Went to work first at my waitressing job then got everyone something at the end of my shift. I was literally sagging from exhaustion ........... Again, having being on my feet the whole afternoon and carrying all these goods for everyone. I just wanted to get home, take a hot bath and go to sleep. Add to the excitement, I shared my bed with a stranger now. Yay. How exiting. I sighed as the bus came to a stop and I had to trudge the short distance home, thinking about how I would have to do this again tomorrow.