Prologue

The four corner room is filled with laughter and joy. His classmates from college were teasing and throwing silly jokes. But amidst the happiness and laughter, I can't feel anything but nervousness. It's a pleasant sight to see-- the joy, but my mind is throbbing and my heart wavers from time to time. I easily get chills creeping on my insides every time there's silence in between their laughs.

"You didn't change a bit!"

The man at the center of the crowd said with a smile on his face that I wished from this moment on, he won't wear it off.

He's happy. I can see that from where I'm at. He didn't know who to look at or who to hear out first because everybody is so eager to talk to him. But that didn't hinder him from glancing my way before he faces someone.

I always wanted to see him smile because it puts my heart at ease but seeing him smiling and laughing now, it tears my heart into pieces, bit by bit.

"We're happy that you're back," Deliah, a close friend of him from college said with relief.

Revi squeezed my hand and secretly glanced my way before smiling at her friend, Deliah. "I'm happy that I'm back too."

I saw how Deliah's eyes pooled with tears but she immediately looked away before a tear escaped her eye. Her boyfriend, Cleo, caressed her back to calm her down.

Her girl classmates from college were crying already and some of her guy classmates from college are on the verge of crying too but they just kept it all in. The girls are already emotional as it is, they don't want to add up.

I saw how Revi looked away and I heard his soft sob. He doesn't want anyone to see that he sheds a tear because he wanted everyone to see that he's a strong man like what everyone has anticipated.

He didn't change at all despite the world he chose to come back had already experienced its changes a long time ago.

This is his first step towards braveness.

I know that it's hard for him to see that all of his classmates in college are now having a better life. I know he yearned for life just like theirs too. He was supposed to live like them but... life for him was so cruel.

"I... I am an attorney now Rev," Noel, his classmate said. "If you want legal counseling in the future, come to me."

Noel said that to ease the heavy tension inside the room which was effective because some laughed. The sounds of crying were slowly being covered with laughter.

"Dude, I'm such a good person!" Revi jokingly screamed after wiping his watery eyes with the back of his hand.

Laughter then roared inside the room.

"I am happy with what you've accomplished, guys." Revi tried to hide his bitterness but it is still evident from the tone of his voice. It can't be helped. He lost years and he even lost the track of time.

"And we are happy that you're now back, Revi!" Anthony screamed in joy before standing up from the couch to go and hug Revi who's sitting on his bed.

I shifted on my seat when I remembered Revi's stitches but he didn't let out a sound of pain so I remained glued on my chair.

"Mario might get jealous because of this, ah!" Revi kid while caressing Anthony's back. Anthony let go of Revi in a sudden before protruding his lips which made us all laugh with his reaction.

"They broke up a year ago, Rev." Someone said from behind. Revi's eyes widened upon hearing and carefully looked at Anthony, seeking for an answer through judging Anthony's reaction.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you two are still... together," he apologetically said. This was hard for him too. Being left behind hurts. Not knowing a thing from the past years was a pain.

Anthony shook his head. "That's fine. I've already moved on... I think," Anthony answered in his weak voice.

Anthony is gay inside and out. Ever since Revi introduced me to Anthony back when we were still in college, he is already together with that Mario guy. They lasted long, I know that because I was one of those people whom he has shared about his love life. But we don't know anything for sure so they eventually broke up last year.

"We should go, Rev. We still need to go to work but we'll come back to pay you a visit tomorrow," Cleo said before standing up from his seat beside his girlfriend, Deliah, who's been eyeing me suspiciously.

"Yeah. We'll prepare a lot of gossips the next time we visit," a woman in her corporate attire said before giggling.

Revi nodded, laughing. Before they went out of Revi's hospital room, they waved me goodbye while others just simply smiled at me. I know all of them. After all, they witnessed how Revi and I exchanged our love then.

When I felt someone staring, I turned to the entrance again and found Dehlia's serious and piercing gaze while Cleo was secretly nudging her just so everyone would be able to go outside already.

I controlled Revi's bed and lowered it down just so he would lie down comfortably and sleep. When he's now comfortably lying on his bed, he smiled at me.

"What a beautiful view," he mumbled as he traced my cheek dearly with his fingers.

I froze in my place, making me unable to move.

I missed his touch.

I couldn't smile at him so I swiftly avoided his gaze and bent down to check if the gears were properly fixed beneath his bed.

"You should sleep, Rev," I told him after standing up properly.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" He asked with his eyes full of hope.

I gave him an assuring smile. "I will be here when you sleep and when you wake up, Rev."

When he fell asleep, I went outside his room to fill my bottle with water but I was shocked to see Dehlia upon sliding the door open.

When she saw me, she automatically stood up with her handbag in her front.

"I thought you already left," I said, still surprise.

"I want to talk to you, Amelia."

I nodded and glanced at Revi's room before closing the door completely.

"Let's talk in the somewhere," I said before gesturing her the way to the hospital's cafeteria.

I filled my bottle with water before going to Dehlia's way who's now sitting at the table far from the crowd. She was sitting against the crowd, being cautious. Stealing the public's attention would make a huge mess so she tried hard not to be noticed. Whatever she will say, it seems confidential.

"Uhh... you want to talk. What is it?" I said upon sitting on the chair across her. I have an idea of what we're going to talk about but I still need to ask her.

Dehlia transferred her bag from the table down to the floor just so her line of vision won't get hindered.

"About Rev and your relationship with him."

I had a feeling that what she wants to talk about is this... my relationship with Revi. And I was right.

"I know that everything was hard for you. And I know... we all know that you're with someone now but Amelia, Revi finally woke up after... 15 long years. What are you going to do?"

My eyes glided from Dehlia down to the table between us. She's right, everything was hard for me. But that still doesn't justify that I'm with someone now while my boyfriend was asleep for that long.

But what can I do then?

"I... I don't know, Dehls. Revi's mom thinks that I should just keep it a secret from him until then. But-"

Dehlia immediately reached for my hand which was placed on top of the table and held it tightly while tears are now pooling on the corner of her eyes.

"I... I don't think so, Amelia." She said while shaking her head. "You should tell him. You should tell Revi that you're with someone now. Don't let my friend hope for you when there's nothing... you can give anymore. Please... please... tell him now-"

I immediately pulled my hand away from her hold which made her lips part. I was shocked at what I did too.

She looked at me with bloodshot eyes. Anger was evident from her face. "You're selfish, Amelia! What are you planning to do, huh?! Will you still keep Revi even when... even when..."

Dehlia's chest lifted up and down because of her sudden outburst. She was seething with uncontrollable anger but she was being careful not to lash out because we might steal everyone's attention.

"I... won't, Dehlia! I won't tell him that for now. Maybe if he is completely healed then I will but... Revi! Revi-- just woke up a week ago!"

Telling him that now made me afraid that it might put him to sleep again or worse, maybe he'll never wake up again! If I will tell him the situation now, I am afraid of the certainties that he'll hate me.

Revi never hated me. Revi loves and cherishes me. But the image of Revi lashing out his anger towards me made me scared to death.

I am grateful that he finally woke up. After a deep slumber, after being in a coma for 15 long years, after almost losing hope that he'll ever wake up... he unexpectedly woke up!

It's a miracle!

Dehlia stood up from her seat while looking at me with dagger-like eyes that would probably kill me. But the case is, I won't die from just that death stare but maybe I will if Revi, the man I once loved and the man I don't wanna hurt will look at me with his eyes in rage, I think I will die.

"You don't intend to tell him, do you? Amelia, he's a great friend and your boyfriend who you spent half of your life then but here you are, hiding all your secrets because of your selfishness!"

I clenched my fist, trying to suppress the anger and desperation I am now feeling. I know that I don't have the right to be angry right now because what Dehlia said is not out of pure emotions but she spoke to me with rationality. I know that she's right. I know that I should tell Revi but I just cannot take the risk and lose him again!

Revi deserves every right to know but goodness gracious, he just woke up a week ago! What could he possibly feel if I will let him know now?

To welcome his awakening from a deep slumber with the truth... it's just so cruel. And whether I'll tell him sooner or later, it remains cruel.

I know Dehlia's right and she's right that I am just afraid of the certainties that Revi will hate me but I deeply care for him. That is why I am not telling him even if that means that I will fool him in the meantime.

"I said, I will not tell him Dehlia! I will wait for the perfect timing-"

"Why wait when you could just tell him now that you're now fcking in love with someone, not him?! Why? Do you still love Revi?"

I pursed my lips tightly as I clenched my fist harder under the table that it might bleed my palm any time soon.

"Answer me, Amelia! Do you still love Revi?!" She asked, desperation and anger are etched in her tone.

I closed my eyes as honesty ruled my head. "Y-yes," I stammered. I lift my head only to meet Dehlia's eyes blazing with anger.

"I love Revi, Dehlia-"

She closed our distance and I then felt the heat of her palm on my cheeks which made my face turn to the side. I could taste blood on my lips as I breathed heavily.

I heard gasped and indistinct chattering from the crowd. The heavy intensity brought by Dehlia's slap stole the attention of the people near us but she couldn't care less. She couldn't contain her emotions anymore that the stares of the people around us weren't her concern now.

"What did you say?" Dehlia asked with seething anger.

When I looked back at her, what welcomed me is the deeply drawn anger on her eyes.

"I said I love Revi--"

I wasn't finished talking yet she cut me off with another slap on the right cheek, this time, with much more heavy intensity.

When I looked back at her, her chest was lifting up and down every second and I could hear his hoarse breathing, showing that she's having the struggle to breathe at this moment.

If this is not a heavy conversation but a normal one, I would feel her heartbeat's pace and recommend her an appropriate medicine but it wasn't.

"I always wanted to say this, Amelia."

My breathing is ragged now too. Both of my cheeks are hot and painful but I couldn't put care because Dehlia is dead serious now that she's almost close to killing me.

"Even if Tita approved of your relationship with someone, not her son, my opinion regarding that differs. You're in a relationship with a man sleeping on his hospital bed for 15 years and the man you saw that you'll spend this life with him and the next, yet you fell in love and had a relationship with someone. I don't know what else to call you but you're a cheater, Amelia."

My eyes widened and my lips parted in disbelief. Dehlia is a very close friend of Revi and mine since then. She rooted for Revi's relationship with me and she was there, supporting us every step of the way and hearing this from her now, struck my chest straight through my heart.

It hurts.

It still hurts even though I was already looking forward to this to happen.

"You're a cheater, Amelia. You cheated on Revi while he's asleep!"

As much as I want to discard the thought and deny that I am indeed a cheater in love... the situation says so. I cheated with someone I loved while he's on his death bed. I know that my loneliness and emptiness don't justify my actions but with Revi sleeping for that long, leaving me alone, made me feel empty. I held on to our memories together as I could but seeing him every day on his bed, sleeping, where no one knows if he'll ever wake up or not anymore, it made me lose hope.

Dehlia's right. I cheated on Revi while he's asleep.