Chapter: Learning is Suffering

Rudra locked himself away in the MAC-2 (mobile alchemy carriage). For several weeks he hadnt eaten or slept; he wasted away in his research. "Rayloth called it the key to Yjarl." He thought. Just the name alone made him uncomfortable. He didn't want to think about that.

They were almost back to Yjarl after several months of stopping rebellions across their southern water fronts. Even after months of fighting they still hadn't caught the Baron who started it all. Trying to understand a mad man will drive you to depths you thought didnt exist.

Still he had been able to gather a lot from the time he spent with the ethereal key. Pages upon pages he wrote, each more scribbled than the last.

Upon the horizon you could see it. The massive Gates of Yjarl. The dark opal looked as if magma spewed within  the Gates, constantly smoldering. Some called them the Gates of Hell. The dwarves called it the  "Worlds Forge". I call it home.

The group of arcanist soldiers quickly loaded into the boats, and started upstream.

"My Prince you MUST~ eat something. I CAN PRACTICALLY SEE YOUR BONES. " A servant girl begged running behind Rudra, there. There they passed Sir Kalfu.

"Sir please convenience his majesty to eat hes lost so much weight, The Magus will have my head for this. Pleaaaase." She begged holding his arm.

"Oh you know we cant have that. Here take this wine and relax a little ill deal with this and be back to check up on you."

"Thank you. And what wine?" She asked.

He smirked, drawing a bottle and two glasses in the air. The appeared floating in the air, and down into the maids' hands. He smiled. She bowed and walked away.

He walked into one of the 4 labs aboard the Royal vessel. "A holy book? I knew you were a man of faith, but this is diligent even for you." Kalfu walked around the desks.

" There are no records of a key to Yjarl. But here it is. Im cross referencing this with Arkain, but i'll have to translate the Bircon~" Rudra stopped himself, but you dont care.

"Why are you here Kal?"

"I hate seeing you like this man. Whenever you find a new artifact or ancient grimoire you get like this." Kalf said drawing in the air.

"Like what? Focused? Determined?

"No not determined. Starved and crazed. Look in the mirror man, you stink even for a soldier. You should really get that parasyte looked at too. I didn't even know gold could get possessed by parasites." He said painting a mirror and a cauldron of stew.

Several hours passed and they still hadnt reached Yjarl. The closer they got the more the gates loomed over them. After a few bowls of magic made beef stew he slowly gained back some pigment

' The book in Kalfus' hand was nothing more than scrap paper, all of Kals magic came from him. He never could explain creating something from nothing. Even my father had been a fan of his. It hadnt been soros and was nowhere close to zeal.

It had been deep into the night and the river, silent. He slipped his overcoat on bracing for the fall weather. Off he went, His research couldnt wait another day he needed the Research wing of the palace. The thousands of tombs of knowledge both eldritch and mundane alike sat there.

"I need to at least learn how to activate this key using zeal. Just by adding the smallest bit of zeal to your hands you could increase your grip strength and reaction time by 10 fold. To be more precise it was a formless blade, taking on the shape of its master's will." He thought, leaping from rooftop to rooftop.

Rudra unlocked his satchel, withdrawing another lockbox. "How do I keep my zeal flowing?" Rudra asked, harnessing the wind beneath every step..

"No matter how hard I try I'm barely able to even feel a spark of zeal within myself."He was lost in his thoughts as he dashed about. "What exactly is zeal? It's Harnessing and manifesting the vitality within everyone's soul. Unlike Soros, that's basically the telekinetic control of energies.

At that moment, like a comet sparking through the darkness, a single word appeared in my head.'Ura-Kih'.

"It is something to be felt as a spark, it's to be embraced as a roaring flame. You don't even know zeals true name and you think you're worthy of its call?" A voice called out from the darkness.  Hed almost been at the palace only a few more miles. So just who had been talking in his ear.

'Ura-Kih? Where have I heard that name before?' Rudra thought, listening intently.

"Ura-Kih is the measure of a man's soul. the measure of a man's will. So you can call upon it in sparks no more than you call upon a hurricane in a puddle. You can't use Ura-Kih because you don't know why you want to wrestle the flame. You want power but you don't want  to work for it." The voice called again. His arm shimmered, glowing a  brighter shade of blue. Rudra couldn't reply.

He slowly lifted his coat and shirt. The parasyte on his arm grew teeth, to call it unsettling would be an understatement.

"By Midas hand I need some air." Rudra said slipping and falling. His raged body caught itself before plowing into a building. It was late into the evening now and the city had become more lively.

Somehow there were more students awake now than there were during the day. Rudra had quickly checked one of the location maps and found he was only a street away from the dining hall. The night life of the campus was truly something to take in. There were dozens of different colored lights illuminating the campus in different shades of reds, blues greens and yellows alike.

There were other colors he couldn't name. Magics he couldn't even put a finger on happening in a fantastical fashion all around him.

"Hey Rudra my princely friend where have you been? I turned around this morning and you were gone." Kalfu exclaimed, emerging from a student-made fog.

"Ah Kalfu...why are you here....No wait howd you find me?"

   "My friend Is there anything I cant do?."Kalfu replied walking through the swave on students. "The Prince playing hooky is he?" He asked.

"Well Kal i want to ask you something? Lets get a table first"He asked looking back to his friend.

The dining hall was full of course.

Mostly young people here pushing their bodies and mind to the absolute limit every day of course they'd be starving. So the building was sprawling with youths.

"Don't tell me we have to wait for a table?" Rudra asked the door man . "Ah no my Lord. If you'd be so kind as to tell me the status of your dining hall token." Rudra fumbled around for his token, not being able to find it. "I must have left it ill -"  

"You are a prince. Act it child." The voice called to Rudra. Rudra sat there a moment debating what he should do. Chaactu was right he needed to be more aggressive in who I was. "I am the Prince of Yjarl, move. I will not ask again." 

"Ah yes my Prince but I only asked to direct you to the correct floor." The doorman said, opening the door. Being sure to watch the two closely. Kalfu had been holding back the laughter.

"Royalty just doesn't suit you. Maybe a mountain hermit." He said said between breathes. They continued on through the dining hall with Kalfu leading the way through the packed building.  "I guess you'll have to dine with me tonight, my Prince." Kalfu said poking fun at his mishap with the doorman. They sat down at an open table near the back of the first floor.

"Kal I'll be honest with you. I've never had someone sit down and eat with me without trying to pry a secret from my lips." The young Prince asked.  

"The night is still young my friend." Kalfu said, reaching into his satchel. "How exactly do you create something from nothing." Rudra said pointing to the sketch pad.

"The same way you breathe air or drink water. I create.  This is my weapon, I could kill a man with it. Or turn the skies red. Honestly my hand gives out before my magic does." He started waving the sketch pad around showing his murderous intent.He said, excusing himself from the conversation.

Rudra couldnt put his finger on why he liked Kal so much. He was so lively when Rudra was a shell of emotions.  'Mmmm I still don't know if I hate him or like him But hes my brother either way.

"I've been watching your memories and I know how to activate the zea lwithin you.' The parasyte  said directly into Rudras mind, startling him.

"Please dont speak into my mind without warning." It startled him just how quickly hed gotten comfortable with it.

'Hahaha it's a ritual my people knew. Itd send young boys into the realm of manhood. You'd only need a spear.' It replied. 

'What would I need the spear for? Where would I do this ritual? Better yet why should i trust a melting parasyte clinging to my arm?' He asked looking over both shoulders.

'The base of the mountain. I can sense the distrust in your heart. I'll give you time to think, child.' He said, ending the conversation.

"So I've gone from 1 friend to 2 and 1 of them is my head. Thats a good start." Rudra said to himself.

Kalfu still hasn't come back with their food. Rudra was glad he didn't make the foolish mistake of going with him. He knew he was probably somewhere ruining engagements. The Prince had a bad habit of wandering off in either thought or body whenever he grew bored. He arose from the table to find some fresh air.

'Hey rash, what did you mean by id need a spear?'' He thought of the parasyte.

  'Well you'd need a weapon to defend yourself. But it's a journey to manhood. I'll let you know what you're really capable of.' 

'If it'll let me use zeal- I mean Ura-Kih i'm willing to do anything.' the mage thought, walking through dozens of students.

'You're already willing to give my methods a try? You barely know me. You don't know my motives, too quick to trust.' Rash replied, questioning him.

"Rash I've made up my mind I want to do things your way. I need to unlock this key now and if you can do that for me I'd finally be able to look my father in his eye." He said walking back outside just as quickly as he entered. There was no response for once. Rudra didn't know how to take that. Had he pissed the thing off somehow? He didn't want to think about it. He remembered Samsons bitters words in that moment, pickering his face.

. "I'm not going to ask you a third time you dirty yorish where did you find this bauble? I know you couldn't have made it." He said, snickering to his entourage.

'At least defend yourself..' Rudra thought walking past them. He hadn't even batted an eye back to see how it ended.

This had been the state of Yjarl, strength being the only thing someone needed. The  staircase led to the commons area. The wall opened up revealing the spiraling staircase. He walked over to the small armory within his barracks dorm.  They covered everything he could ever need within his dorm.  Armory is a bit over an overstatement. It was a small room no larger than a servant girl's quarters. It had 4 separate armor racks with shelves equally spaced and plastered on the wall.

He wasn't given many options for weapons. He had a black spear with tribal etching down the shaft, a sword with a forked tip, a jungnar with an infused core and a miniature crossbow the fired condensed soros. 'Hmmm all great selections. Take them all, you can never be too prepared.' Rash said, becoming visible.

It was clear he was desperate to touch the spear. Without a body he could only stare and recall his days bringing destruction by way of hurricane. "Tell me Rash, why do you want me to use that spear so badly? Has the spear been your weapon of carnage?"    

"Do not speak to me as if you know me as a child. My name is not "Rash" it is Chaactu I've seen oblivion and waded through it without so much as a scratch." Chaactu pleaded. His anger had caused the soros within the air to boil somehow. Rudra had begun to slowly step back and something told him that even as a spirit Chaactu was no one to taunt.

"I'm sorry, But you need to at least tell me why you want me to take a weapon and flee to the mountains. These mountains have several dozen ritual areas wouldn't it be safer to perform the rituals here?" He asked reaching for the crossbow.

  "You can't become a man by ritual and not be met with tribulation. You've gone through the coming ceremony for your people. But you're still a boy pretending to be a man Your mind is sick" Chaactu had reached out to the spear trying to form a soros connection with it but failed. "Come here and try forming a connection. Only the living can do that it seems." Rudra had hesitantly walked over from the frame of the door.

"Open your mind.Ill dispense with the secrets of my cultivation. To begin you need to form a soros convergence. You reach within the-" Chaactu said being interrupted.

"I already know how to use a spear. My main weapon is the bishi. The grandson of the spear and brother to the halberd.  So forming a soul bond with it would be meaningless.'' Chaactu was surprised, Rudra knew the goal and what he was plotting.

"If its truly better it wont hurt to learn the basics of the spear. Souls it not?"It asked writhing on his arm. "I want to survive just as much as you do my child. My soul is tied to yours. As well as my fate. I'd give you the knowledge of the spear I wield. Not some toy you call a weapon. As long as you do as I say youll have power." It asked, pulsating its blackness. 

"What's the catch? I'm not so naive as to think someone would do something like that for free."  

" I'd have you take blood in my name. Since our souls are tied you'd really be sacrificing a man to yourself." Chaactu replied.

Rudra did not respond; he just reached out and ran his hand along the staff of the spear. He had caressed the spear in both hands getting a good feel for the weight.

"So blood magic? Youd have me use the Hrtyr spell for convergencing twin souls and sacrifice souls  to you? That sounds good it does but in reality, youd be able to take over my body whenever you wanted?" Rudra asked.

"....Every gift has its price. You are correct there."~

"Heavier than I thought while still being lighter than a feather.... The weight of a soul. So no I cant just kill in your name. I dont even know what you are. "Rudra thought with his hands starting to glow a ghostly blue. Hed exorcize this demon back to the void.

  Chaactu was stunned he'd never seen soros shine so brightly before. "I give thanks to the father of storm, the judgment bearer. May Ubber give me his blessing. Allking, Allfather, Allgod." Chaactu chanted compulsively.

Rudra had begun shaking violently like a poorly made roof in a storm. He tried dropping the spear but couldn't find the strength to undue his soros enforced grip. The control he once had over his body was gone. He was back to falling through his own mind. Back to falling through Chaactu's memories.

"I give thanks to the father of storm, the judgment bearer. May Ubber give me his blessing. Allking, Allfather, Allgod." Chaactu chanted again and again. Rudras body had smacked head first into the ground. Then once more into the wall. A third time into the ceiling backwards. Still he hadnt let the spear go. Chaactu first began chanting. His eyes had begun to boil over black, while the foaming had stopped his body was still shaking as if he had been shocked.

The black from his eyes began rising out of him condensing into a ball in the center of the room. The blackness started churning, pumping itself in every direction before stopping in the form of a bulls head. "Why have you summoned me child? I thought you wished to be left alone? To destroy." The bullhead said, sending out shockwaves with every word.

"Father please this exile, it's too much. I've seen the error- ''

''Do not lie to me Chaactu. You are not sorry. It is your nature to be who you are. But that does not excuse what you have done. That boy you tried sacrificing to me is touched by a divine hand. I can not accept such an offering, it would cause.... more problems than it's worth.... surely. Help the soros touched boy and your exile will be lifted. I will leave you with this, you were the first storm voidling, Chaactu. I never wanted you to be anything less than a force of nature." The bullhead commanded before popping himself from existence. Chaactu knew his fathers words weren't a suggestion but a command. He never had any intention of helping Rudra. Now his fate was intertwined with Rudras.

Chaactus hands were glowing with spiraling sigils engulfing his palms. He reached into his mind to get Rudra out. There isn't a better place to trap a man's mind than within your own.

"Hmm I think I understand now. My hands, no my entire being-'' Rudra had been interrupted by an enormous ethearl hand forming from a thread of memories. The hand shoots through the  vast darkness that once held the memories of Chaactu.

"By the GODS. What the hell is this?!" Rudra cried out stunned with fear. It plucked Rudra with a violent force but also the gracefulness a mother has while tugging along a tiresome child.

Rudras eyes shot open, covered in sweat and vomit still plastered to the floor. The research lab was freezing. He felt weaker than he had that morning. His very being was beyond exhausted. He had not known if his eyes were still closed the entire room was shrouded in darkness.

"Water. I need water." He weakinly said through cracked lips. "Chaactu? Chaactu? Help. Get Kal...Anybody... Help." He tried standing but couldn't move a finger to help himself.

"AHHHH my head! My head!" His body couldn't respond he wanted to roll around screeching but could only muster a faint yelp. "Please help me please." He cried out as loud as he could.

Many minutes had passed with no response. Just then a blue flicker of light started to dance on the ceiling. Then another. The band's jeweled eyes were illuminating the room just enough so you could barely make out whats a foot in front of you. It was enough light,enough for him to see the pool of blood he was in. "You've called for me child? I knew not youd awakened. That's a terrible cut you have there. You're probably going to die." Chaactu called out from within the darkness.

" No no don't speak, hold your breath. You are a foolish child. You've trusted someone you knew for a day with your soul. I tried sacrificing you, just so you know. I won't lie to a soon to be deadman. I want my exile lifted and you getting strong is a part of that deal. I can let you die-" Chaactu was interrupted.

  "I...choose to live. Whatever the cost. I choose to live."Rudra said honestly.

  "I had a whole speech planned too. Pity. You will be my avatar or vessel if you will. As long as you shed blood you'll grow stronger. What I said earlier about every soul you take being a sacrifice to us both, I wasn't lying." The Spirit said. The blood had been drippnig from the stones, lifting into the air.

"I've seen into your heart and I know what you really desire. I can give it to you too. I've walked that path too." Chaactu said. The storm outside had started to rage. Rudra hadn't noticed it. He could barely see or hear as it was.  Chaactu had fully spiritualized his body standing over Rudra. His hands raised to the sky with the sound of crackling lighting and winds dancing on his palms. "I AM Chaactu. THE FIRST VOIDLING, MASTER OF LIGHTING COMMANDER OF HURRICANES!" The storm had raged on like something never seen before. Black clouds filled with nature's rage had been banging and crashing and circling the barracks. Its center was there but clouds were formed over the entire kingdom. Rudra had begun to float about. The balcony door rattled open and he was already floating in that direction. It felt like dozens of hands made from honor and wisdom carried him to the door.

HIs draining blood slowly mended back within his flesh, Then over the balcony all together. The rain had been coming down hard. It was one of those flood rains.  Rudra had sorosed to move his head enough to look behind him and see Chaactu smiling from ear to ear. He could see his smile in between every flash of lighting. Just then small volts of and waves of electricity took hold of him. He was rising further and further into the heavens. The tears of the gods had started to flow once more. The world looked wondrous from up there. He could see the beauty in the storm clouds laying siege to the people below. It was beautiful. The entire world below him and the stars above him.  He could see further than he ever could through a telescope at this moment. The world felt like it had stopped. Rudra was looking to the skies trying to take in every star. Just then a bolt then a surge of lighting came knifing through his body. Making its way through every cell, vein, bone and organ in his body. Lightning shot from his eyes and mouth striking in every direction. Now that his entire body had been tenderized. Soros and zeal were flooding every inch of his body wildly. Chaactu had still been in the skies commanding the lighting with such ferocity, even as a spirit.

"YES. YES OH HOW I'VE MISSED MY SPIRITS!" Chaactu shouted with his thunderous voice. He was raving. Lightning had been raining down from wherever he stood. Plumes of smoke were rising from every direction.It had been hundreds of years since the Stormbringer wielded lighting; it felt good to rage on as he did. He had quickly forgotten his goal because of it. Rudra had been falling hard from the barrier that separated man and God. "This is....this is...wow. Who....the hell...is Chaactu? " Rudra said with his eyes going black. He lost consciousness rapidly. Before long he was going to hit the ground.