16 Chapter 15

"Captain?" You peeked inside the Mapping room.

He was sitting at a chair, facing out the window in the stern of the room. Silent.

You pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

"Captain? You there?" you asked him, trying to look into his eyes.

He looked down into his hands in his lap.

"Well, the crew is settled and checking on the ship, so I came in here to get you."

"I know. I heard," he muttered.

"Hey," you said, and scootched the chair closer. "Something's up. Do you want to...talk about it?"

He looked at you and scowled. "Princess, you realize I'm a Pirate Captain. I don't think it's in me to talk about my 'feelings.'"

"And I didn't think I had it in me to bark orders at a crew of adult pirate men for you. Or to survive being kidnapped by adult pirate men, sold as a slave, and bought by the first kind, adult pirate Captain I'd ever met or heard of."

"You're really emphasizing the 'adult' of that."

"Yeah, I am. Because kid pirates are too innocent, though I've...quite frankly never met one....and because it's scary to lose yourself, lose ownership to your own life, to an 'adult pirate Captain,' or to lose anybody else to anything else."

"I'm not an 'adult pirate Captain,' Anika," he said. He paused.

He looked hesitant to continue.

But he did anyways. "I'm eighteen."

"But you..." You stopped. Oh my gosh. But he's... "No, Captain, you're twenty-seven."

"No I'm not. I'm eighteen, and obviously unfit to lead a pirate ship."

"No." You were stunned, but couldn't let him see that you were. "If...if anyone can lead us, you can."

"No I can't."

"Your shirt." You said.

"What about it?"

You smiled to quote the Captain to himself. "Take it off."

He looked at you suspiciously, but stood up and, after a moment of hesitation, took off his shirt, revealing the many scars that crossed him.

"I'm going to put two and two together and say you got those to save someone. That at one point in your life, you were captured, with someone else, who happened to be a friend of yours, and you got tortured in their place. But then they died anyways."

He looked surprised. "I..." He looked away from you. "Well...yes."

"Then, my dear Captain, count every single one of those scars and think how much that person you got them for wouldn't want you dwelling over things like this." You put one hand to touch a very large scar over his heart. "So move on. To some, death is a thief. To some, it is peace. Don't make those peaceful spirits have to resurface. Leave bad memories in the past. Cherish yesterday. Don't dwell on it."

He blinked, and put his hand over yours, and held your hand out in front of him, holding it tight.

He sighed.

"When did you ever get so wise?"

"Since I sailed off with you, Cap'n." You smiled at him.

He smiled back. "Well, I'm glad you did, Princess." Your hand in one, brushing your hair back with the other, he stared deeply into your eyes.

Those brown eyes had seen death. Sad memories of his past swam through them, and they reflected each scar on his chest that had been put there since he was tortured. The soft look that glowed in his eyes wasn't use to being there, and was starting to really settle in. That soft look that he got whenever he looked at you. Blagden had been right. The Captain did have a soft look in there.

After his hand brushed a string of your hair back, he found one hand holding the back of your head, and the other holding tightly to your hand, and he started leaning down towards you.

Wallowing in the moment, you started leaning up towards him.

His face turned a little one way, and you turned a little the other, about to kiss.

Unpursed lips almost touching, he looked so longingly at you once more, but sighed.

And you and him slowly leaned back a little.

So close...

And after a moment of looking so intently into your eyes and you into his, he dropped your hand and reached down to pick up his shirt. He slipped each arm into the sleeves in turn. "You certainly live up to your reputation."

"I never got the chance until now." You said bashfully.

He buttoned his shirt and walked over to pick up his coat and hat, lying on the floor next to each other. He stood up, rebuckled his first belt, put his second belt, the one he'd whipped Knoll with, over it. Then he slipped on his maroon, gold-embroidered trenchcoat, taking a deep breath and turning towards you.

He did his best to straighten his matching feathered hat without the use of a mirror, and said, "So how do I look, Pirate Princess Anika?"

You smiled. "Like my Captain."

He gave you a nod. "That's all I ever have to be." He gave you a dashing wink and walked right out of the Mapping Room with a dramatic exit.

As he disappeared, you smiled airily and slumped down into a chair, feeling a warm sensation chewing on your gut.

And if it was true love or your heart starting to tear apart, you couldn't tell.

Maybe it was both.