3 3

Dementors are frustrating I decided, leaning up against the carriage window and watching the rain stream past. My friends spoke in subdued tones around me, bunched up as we were in a carriage too small for the five of us; I got the impression they were taking comfort in that close proximity.

For me though that blasted 'fight' wouldn't leave my mind. Leading up to the Dementor's arrival I was proud of my progress with the patronus; I didn't voice it but in the far reaches of my mind I was daydreaming about sweeping the train with Lupin, being the big damn hero.

The reality? The aura sapped the pride I took such great confidence in, almost stopping me from casting even a single patronus. The strength of will and magic it took to overcome that... I still feel exhausted, and that's not even getting into the presence I've been ignoring for the last few weeks.

The Duffer was clearly more than the residual instincts I had assumed were left, not if he could... layer his will with mine like that.

It was disconcerting to say the least, mostly in terms of how I could have missed such a detail, and also what it meant for me going forward. The first I could forgive myself for given the unprecedented nature of my situation, the second...

I didn't know, and I didn't like not knowing.

I tried… talking to him -it? to no avail. Whatever state we're in seems to be limiting him to wordlessly screaming at me when his friends are in danger and I have no fucking clue how that works. Which -again- I really don't like not knowing.

Still, it isn't all bad, while I believe I could have cast it without him in that moment, his will joining with mine definitely did something. Under normal circumstances Dementors only flee from a corporeal patronus, whatever we'd achieved together hadn't quite been that, but it was certainly enough to send the thing packing.

A fact that soothed my ruffled pride a little.

The Duffer... there wasn't really anything I could even think to try in regards to him, all I could really do was keep eye out for his presence and be on guard. It helped that he'd only really helped out thus far. A Hufflepuff through and through that one; if someone else's soul had dropped out of the ether and tried to take over my old body, I would have fought them tooth and nail.

But that's me, and just going by his memories and instincts, this kid was a lot nicer than I am; too nice really, I doubt he would've have survived the war if...

I came out of my rumination as the ancient stonework of Hogwarts appeared out of the rain, looming over us with almost physical weight. In the dark of night and covered by the storm, the place had an almost haunting quality to it; quite frankly it should have been at least intimidating to me, but my Duffer instincts called this place home with an almost palpable feeling of longing.

It was unnerving to feel them so strongly after what happened on the train, but I couldn't deny that it felt good to bask in that positivity after the Dementor. It reminded me of my earlier excitement to get down to studying magic, to just be at Hogwarts.

"Merlin's saggy balls I'm hungry!" Ernie extolled loudly with a crassness even I could respect and I laughed in spite of myself.

Susan hit him on the arm in reproach.

"Should we make a run for it?" Justin asked, glancing nervously at the carriage ceiling, creaking under the weight of the water rushing off of it.

"Are you a wizard or not?" Ernie asked, drawing his wand and flicking it like a check mark. "Umbrellus." And an... almost spectral looking umbrella came out of the tip, folded up and pointed at the floor.

Huh, that was not in the movies.

"Where'd you learn that?" Justin asked in interest.

"One of my aunts gave me a spellbook for my birthday last year." He announced smugly. "I guess you boys will be getting wet."

"And us?" Susan asked coyly.

"I could never leave either of you out in the rain." He proclaimed with a winning smile.

"And what are we, chopped liver?" Justin snarked. "Tom, you believe this guy...? Tom?"

"Umbrellus." Trying it for myself yielded a failure, but I could feel where the simple charm went wrong; refocusing on my desire for an umbrella as I recast rewarded me with a solid enough looking construct on my third try.

"How do I..." I trailed off as the umbrella opened slightly and then closed under my mental control. "Nevermind, I got it."

Looking up I caught the tail end of some strange looks, I tried to think back to what I missed and drew a blank. "Uh, did you ask me something?"

"Oh, no- it was nothing." Justin spoke up, still looking a little overwhelmed. "Just impressed that you got that down so fast."

"Well I am amazin-" Ernie covered my mouth with his hand.

"We know." He grumbled in annoyance.

"Get your hand off my face or I'm licking it." I demand, my voice echoey as it reverberated through his palm.

Hannah giggled as he snatched away his palm.

The carriage trundled to a gentle stop and Justin shot me a pleading look.

"You're good, I'm not sexist like Ernie." I laughed.

Ernie opened his mouth to counter, seemingly couldn't think of anything and so just turned and got out of carriage with a muttered. "Whatever."

The girls giggled as they followed him out. I nodded at Justin and climbed out.

Waiting outside for Justin, I found myself locking eyes with one of the eerie Thestrals that pulled our carriage. Like the Dementor, the dark horses also seemed to have an interest in me. Not to the point of attacking, but they would stare at me whenever I was close.

"You alright mate? Justin patted me on the back.

"...Yeah, the Thestrals are just weirding me out a bit is all."

"The what?" He uttered, staring blankly in the direction of my gaze.

"Never mind, you'll understand when you're older." I started heading for the doors.

"C'mon man." Justin whined, walking awkwardly to keep up with my longer strides.

Walking inside the castle was perhaps even more impressive than just seeing it from the outside; in the warm glow of countless torches the cold stone took on a life of its own, extending up into grand vaulted ceilings that towered above us as we hurried inside.

I could barely even concentrate on trying to get the umbrella spell to end as my eyes just kept wandering. Everything from the gates to the statues to the ornate detail work was crafted to such a degree that I couldn't help but drag my gaze along them in appreciation.

Deeper than just appreciation however, I felt something almost... homely from the sight. Maybe it was just the Duffer, but it felt distinctly me.

It was nostalgia I realised.

I had watched the movies at a pretty grim time in my first life, I'd draw a lot from them and felt rather deeply about. Somewhere along the line I'd just put those thoughts aside... until now, until I was standing here in these halls living out a thought I'd had a lifetime ago.

I swallowed at the surreal feeling.

I didn't slow amidst this, my legs following instincts that weren't mine as I walked a familiar path into the great hall. It looked just like it did in the movies, with the only difference being the dark clouds that shrouded the ceiling, pouring out a mockery of rain that was beaten back only by the light of the thousands of candles floating through the air.

It was beautiful and nostalgic, magical and heart-warming; a remnant of a half forgotten childhood dream made manifest.

"Mate?" Justin clapped me on the back, when my eyes darted to his, I could see his concern. "Probably sound like a broken record here, but you alright?"

"Y-Yeah." I choked up a little, so I cleared my throat. "Still a little shaky from... that's all."

He gave me a reassuring smile and I followed him down the Hufflepuff table to our new seats. We were among the first here, leaving the table oddly empty; the upper years having lingered to watch over the younger students.

It was filling up slowly, but the hall felt off without a single teacher looking down on us from the stage.

"Ernie you can wait ten minutes." Susan spoke as we joined them at the table, rolling her eyes.

Ernie groaned. "I know I can woman, just let me complain a little." He smirked. "I think we earned the right to after that whole ordeal."

"M-Maybe less negativity would be better, after..." Hannah softly interjected.

"I wouldn't bother Hannah, common sense is lost on boys." Susan backed up her friend.

The unprovoked jab shook me out of my funk, leaving me staring down the redhead.

"I'd feel offended, but I know you weren't talking about me just now." I interjected, shooting Susan a challenging look; oddly the usually assertive girl backed down, looking away.

"And what did I do to deserve being lumped in with him?" Justin jerked his thumb at Ernie, his voice raised over the din of the students filtering in.

"Hey!" My roommate grumbled. "Weren't we gunning for less negativity?"

"Nah, I think Susan just likes bullying you mate." I teased, watching as both of them frowned and -because I was such a great friend- I decided to throw them a curveball. "I hear girls do that to the guys they like."

'Strike.' I cheered in my mind watching as Ernie choked on air, Susan looked flat caught off guard and Justin froze.

"What's going on lads?" The overbearing voice of Zach cut the awkward silence as he plonked himself down on the girls' side of the table. For a split second I contemplated kicking him for giving my victims a way out.

"N-Not much, you?" Ernie stuttered.

"You mean outside of those great ruddy creatures that scared the pants off my cabin mates?" And clearly himself, though Zach would never admit that without multiple witnesses there to counter him. "Terrible business that; anyone know what those things were?"

"Aren't you wizard born Zach?" I raised a brow at the pompous boy.

"Well yes -certainly- but whatever those things were... they're not a creature that would be talked about in an upstanding household." Zach blustered, straightening up as he spoke.

"They're called Dementors Zach." Ernie informed him. "The guardians of Azkaban."

The boy paled dramatically. "What in tarnation were they doing here?" Out the corner of his eye, he glanced at Susan, a fact she didn't miss.

"Blame Fudge." She said bluntly.

"But surely..." Zach petered out as a few of us shook our heads.

"Mate we had one bust into our compartment, whatever is going on in the ministry, it ain't on Susan." Justin rallied to his friend's defence, eyes narrowed.

"I-I didn't- I wasn't trying to imply..." Zach trailed off guiltily. "Wait, you guys had one break in?" He asked in horror.

"Went right through my locking charm." I grumbled.

"That's what you complain about?" Ernie shook his head, clearly amused. "This guy drove the damn thing off with a patronus and all he wants to talk about is his first year spell."

"Good show chap..." The boy whispered in surprising awe. "I'll have to see about learning that spell myself, the patro-nus you said?"

"Not to doubt you Zach but I wouldn't bother; that spell is advanced magic, like beyond Hogwarts advanced." Ernie said, trying to quell Zach's bragging.

"It can't be that hard." Zach said, glancing at me.

"I'll give you that one insult as a freebie given my grades last year." I cut in blandly, leaving the implication hanging.

Zach scoffed. "Or you'll do what?"

I just smiled.

"It's about to start." Susan reminded us, bringing my attention to a suddenly very full hall; most now wearing rather cute, pointy hats.

I try, "Do we really have to wear the-"

"Yes." A few of my friends chorused back in a surprising display of impromptu coordination.

I grumble half-heartedly as I pull the silly hat from my robes… that only a very small part of me was secretly delighted to wear.

Looking seventy percent sillier than I did before, I waited with oddly baited breath as Dumbledore stepped up the golden eagle lectern, his slivery beard glowing in the candlelight as he stared down at us from behind his rather crooked nose.

"Students!" The old man's voice immediately silenced the hall even as he frowned down upon the little first years who were being quietly shepherded into the hall. Though ruffled and dried by what was probably the hot air charm, the kids still shivered in the warmth of the hall.

"First and foremost, allow me to apologise sincerely to you all." Sharp intakes of breath sounded out throughout the hall, but I didn't really understand the surprise. "Hogwarts has always strived to be a bastion of learning and safety... a place to learn magic amongst friends and challenge one's self."

His words inspired thoughtfully bobbing hats across the hall; the unsorted kids clumped up by the doors in particular looked to be almost in awe of the rather simple speech.

"It is not a place in which the darkest of forces should be, let alone harassing our young." He stated gravely, an edge of righteous anger to his tone. "I will be leveraging what little sway I have at the Ministry of Magic to prevail upon them the need to see these creatures removed... we can only hope that more sensible heads prevail in this matter."

At those words I scoffed, drawing my friends' curious eyes. That was it then? It's all the Ministry's fault and even if the Dementors don't leave then that's also their fault. I could almost see Dumbledore in that Obama meme, giving himself a medal.

The man even tried to downplay his influence; he alone occupies like three different high positions in the ministry.

"With that all said, let us begin the sorting! Dinner awaits!" Dumbledore proclaimed in a more jovial tone, one that alleviated the mood in the hall somewhat. Though I could see a couple of the unsorted kids panic as if they thought they were the dinner.

With the order given McGonagal marched down the aisle with the kids following after her like little ducklings.

"Tom?" Susan asked hesitantly. I frown, since the train she'd been walking on eggshells around me. "Was there a problem with what Dumbledore said?"

"I-I saw your expression." She added in nervously.

My other friends perked up, dragging their eyes from the sorting as the hat started singing, which was yet another thing I couldn't recall from the movies.

"Mate?" Ernie asked.

I met my friends eyes in turn before shaking my head. "It just felt a little off is all."

"Dumbledore?" Justin inquired while Zach's frown deepened.

"The speech." I corrected. "He downplayed the attack as harassment and all but absolved himself of blame." Seeing I was losing them somewhat, I added, "He was talking like a Slytherin."

"He apologised did he not?" Zach cut in bluntly.

"He did... but he followed it up with deflecting the blame." Ernie cut in thoughtfully. "It's like when people apologise and then follow it up with a 'but'; my dad always said you can't trust what they're saying when people do that."

"He's Dumbledore." Zach insisted.

"Even... even if the apology wasn't great-" Zach bristled at Hannah's words. "What could he have done?"

"Been on the train or at least assigned teachers." I answered with the rather obvious points. "The Dementors are circling Hogwarts, even if he didn't anticipate an attack, we still had to pass through their cordon."

"That's why you predicted them coming?" Susan asked, realisation written across her face. I didn't correct her for obvious reasons.

"Basic logic isn't it?" Justin added, only for Ernie to scoff.

"Like you believed Tom on the train." He dismissed.

"I didn't even know what Dementors were!" Justin protested. "I was just following you guys' lead."

I spoke up to get things back on track. "Susan." The girl perked up at my call. "You know how much power Dumbledore has in the ministry right? Would you ever call that a 'little' sway'?"

"He's..." Susan looked thoughtful. "He's the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot -basically speaker of the house of commons in muggle terms- and the Surpreme Mugwump of the ICW. It's definitely not a little, no."

"Actually with Auntie and the others behind him, I can't really see Fudge being able to keep this up." She continued, before frowning. "Then again, I don't really understand how he had support for this in the first place; a lot of kids from the noble houses on both sides are at Hogwarts right now."

"It doesn't make sense." I agreed, seriously the third movie was kinda nonsense even outside of the time-travel... fuck I want a time-turner. "Which makes it weirder that he was trying to undersell his influence; it's like he believes the Dementors aren't going anywhere and doesn't want any of the blame."

"You seriously think that?" Zach asked harshly.

My response was delayed as the hat called out: "HUFFLEPUFF!" and house loyalty demanded that we clap.

"Why else would he?" I ask loudly over the sound. "If they're gone by tomorrow then he'll just have made himself seem less responsible for protecting his school. No, this is what you do when you think it's a losing battle."

Either that, or he has skin in the game on the other side. Not that I can say that out loud without coming across like a conspiracy nut, but the movies did kind of imply that Dumbledore had a hand in Harry's early yearly adventures.

Maybe one day I'd get my friends in a room with Harry and pump him for details of his first year adventure, and how coincidental it was that all those traps just so happen to line up perfectly with his friend group's abilities. Maybe we could even start wearing matching tinfoil hats to keep out the Dumble-stare.

It isn't paranoia if they can actually read your mind.

"Fudge would be committing career suicide..." Susan whispered.

"Mate I know you were right about the Dementors and all, but-" Ernie's words cut off as the hat roared out our house, and we turned our attention to clapping as a shivering blonde girl sat down at the end of our table.

"I dunno Ernie, the speech just struck me as off." I conceded charitably after the clapping stopped. "Susan you still up to writing that letter?"

She nodded. "Yeah, Auntie needs to know."

"Then let's hope that's enough, and if not... we'll just have to avoid the floating bedsheets." The bland comment brought surprised snorts from my friends, who nodded along.

"I dunno what happened on the train to make you lot trust him like this, but Dumbledore isn't like that." Zach cut in, frowning at me. "You'll see." He swore before heading down the table to join a group of second years.

Zach had never really fit in with us and since we were the only Hufflepuffs in his year, he wound up mainly hanging around with other years and sometimes other houses. Last year though he'd developed a nasty reputation for shit talking people behind his friends' backs; a rep that was particularly harmful in the house of the loyal.

"Prick." Ernie muttered, rolling his eyes.

"He does have a point though." Justin said hesitantly, glancing at me. "It is Dumbledore."

"I know." I reassured him. "That's why I didn't say anything until Susan here put me in the spotlight."

She opened her mouth to respond but the hat called out Hufflepuff for the fifth time. As the clapping reached its peak, she mouthed a quick 'sorry' to me that I waved off.

One more first year was sorted into Slytherin before Dumbledore took his place once more on stage.

"Now that the sorting is over, allow me to welcome you all to Hogwarts! Welcome!" He repeated with great enthusiasm, his eyes crinkling. "I'd like to start things off on a positive note, and that is to announce two new teacher to Hogwarts this year."

"Professor Lupin," An aged and rather battered looking man stood with a bow to uncertain applause. "Has kindly agreed to be your newest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Glancing over I could see Harry Potter and co clapping rather more enthusiastically for the man that saved them from a Dementor.

Couldn't be me. Heh.

"Our second new teacher is someone I'm sure you all know well, Professor Hagrid has consented to take over the Care of Magical Creatures position following Professor Kettleburn's retirement." Dumbledore's eyes sparkled with mirth. "I'm told he retired to enjoy some more time with his remaining limbs, something I and I'm sure all of you wish him the best with."

"Following this I'm afraid I have to bring up the Dementors once more." He began with a rather less jovial tone. "It should not need to be said, but I shall formally warn you now to stay far away from them... no tricks will hide you from their senses and they wait upon every entrance to Hogwarts. Stay well within the common grounds of our castle, that is all I ask."

And on that sour note, Dumbledore clapped his hands and a veritable feast appeared before us; a sight that was familiar from my life and a smell that drove the Duffer wild with nostalgia. "It's been a long day and I shall not keep you any longer, dig in!"

Glancing at my friends, who were already mouth deep in the thick of the Sunday roast options, I smiled mirthfully. Despite the intrigue and monsters, this really wasn't too bad.

"You guys are pigs." I laughed as the others blushed or glared, before helping myself to more than my fair share of Yorkshire puddings.

-

"I'm stuffed." Ernie groaned, collapsing backwards onto his bed in the small, cozy room we shared.

"Well naawh, what gave it away? The third helping of roasties or the biblical grade pile of turkey?" I sent back sarcastically, his return shot -a hastily thrown pillow- was caught by the animated curtain I was playing with.

The Duffer hadn't really given this spell much thought due to the constant concentration it required, but to me this flexible animation charm was kind of insane. It may only work with cloth-like materials, but the way it worked was more akin to telekinesis than anything else.

A simple thought was enough to direct the fabric in any number of ways, but trying something more snappish and complex like throwing the pillow back at Ernie only had it tumbling off the fabric onto the ground.

"That was bad and you should feel bad." He chortled, with the pillow out of reach of my curtain he must have felt safe, so I kipped up, grabbed the pillow myself and belted it off his swollen stomach.

I am definitely not a sore loser.

Ernie groaned, contracting in a fetal position. "You're such a dick." He moaned.

"My stellar friendship had to come with some downsides, otherwise it really wouldn't be fair." I say modestly, smirking all the while.

To my surprise however, my roommate just rolled over to face me with an oddly contemplative look.

"Tom, how... how are you this confident?" He said quietly, but the seriousness in his tone stopped me from just quipping back with a joke. "You were like this before but... on the train it's like you never doubted yourself once. How are you-" He trailed off, his expression almost confused.

I let the silence hang for a long moment, pondering the question. The difference Ernie is referring to comes down to the Duffer; the kid used to feign confidence, but on the inside he was a wreck due to his family life.

I was the same in a way, but perhaps because of my more combative parental relationship I eventually just came to the point where I had to prop myself up. The Duffer on the other hand was held back by that thread of hope, the idea that one day his mother would accept him, and then the crippling doubt and insecurity that came when it never happened.

It was an interesting parallel between us that I hadn't really considered before. We both feigned confidence, I just learned how to make my shell real.

"I wasn't like this before." I spoke, a risky statement given everything, but the chances of someone assuming soul travel when contemplating why a teenage boy had changed, were so astronomically small that I could only really see someone like Luna Lovegood considering it. "I'll be real with you, most of my confidence before was a front."

"...I guessed as much." Ernie admitted.

"It was probably pretty obvious." I snort, running through some of the more embarrassing memories of the Duffer that kept trying to resurface. Most of them were just the kid trying too hard to impress girls and it blowing up in his face.

"A little, yeah." Ernie laughed. "What changed?"

"I did." I respond with a genuine smile. "Realised no one would take pride in me but myself... it becomes a lot easier to just dismiss your doubts at that point. I don't think that'll help you all that much though."

For a brief second he looked like he wanted to argue that point, but realisation flashed and he fell silent. A part of me wanted to tell him how lucky he was to have people that would take pride in him, but I could see how saying that would come across; like an orphan spitefully telling a kid with parents how lucky he should feel. So instead I went to the old reliable.

"This still about Susan?" I teased, he twitched but otherwise didn't react.

"Yeah." He admitted in a tired voice. "I just... wish things were easier y'know?"

"The easy things in life are often the ones we value the least." I parrot. "Enjoy the chase, use it to push yourself a little."

He stared at me with a gimlet eye. "I already do, why do you think my grades are so high?"

I smirked. "I thought you were trying to make your parents proud."

"...That too." He admitted quietly, blushing. "Mainly that, yeah..."

"I dunno man, hit the gym I guess." I offered my sage life advice. "We like to pretend people are less shallow than they are, but reality is? When you look this good, confidence -and girls- come naturally." I announce with all the maturity and modesty you'd expect of me.

The pillow bypassed my long forgotten curtain and nailed me in the head.

I laughed with Ernie joining in a second later, shaking his head.

"I'll get right on that." He joked with a surprising amount of derision, before turning somewhat serious. "You mind if I ask something personal?"

"Might tell you to bugger off, but you can always ask." I state my general rule of thumb for personal shit. He nodded, though I could see him hesitate a little.

"Are you-" He struggled to get the words out. "Are you into Susan? I know you offered on the train and everything, but..."

I laughed, that was it? "Nah, you're all good on that front Ernie." My roommate studied me for a long moment, as if he couldn't believe someone wouldn't have a crush on who he had a crush on.

So I continued. "To be honest? I'm just not really that interested in her, and if I was I'd probably have just given up on her for you." I definitely wouldn't have, but brownie points are always good. "Plus, all three of us crushing on Susan? It would probably strain things, badly." Now that was true, and from the startled look on Ernie's face I could tell he hadn't even considered that angle.

"You think so?" Ernie asked in a small voice. "What about... what about right now?"

I hummed. "Would probably be better if no one was crushing on anyone, but that'll never happen." Ernie winced, clearly taking that statement harder than I intended; let's muddy the waters a little. "Mate, everything can be better, like on the Hannah is shy front, or if I stopped being such a sarcastic ass... or if Justin would get that stick out of his ass, or if Susan wasn't quite so opinionated."

My roommate still looked conflicted, likely torn between wanting to defend his friends and reluctantly agreeing with my takes.

"But that's the point though." I smiled. "Every group -every person- has issues, they're what make us who we are. I'm not going to stop being my classic sarky self just because it might cause less conflicts... I like you guys, but not that much."

"...I get it, I won't blame myself, you don't need to-" Ernie shook his head and smirked at me. "And for reference? It'd be weird if you weren't so... you." He finished awkwardly.

"That was bad and you should feel bad." I parrot Ernie's line back at him with a smirk.

Ernie groaned, slumping back on his bed.

I join him, just idly playing with my animation charm and chatting shit into the dark of the night with my best friend. This world was truly weird and wonderful.

avataravatar
Next chapter