CHAPTER FORTY FIVE

JAMIE'S POV

"Ouch" the pain's excruciating most times and the heavier I get the more painful it's going to be.

I had so much plans about breaking the news of my pregnancy to Logan in the sweetest, most romantic way ever, but with the pain that's eating up my back it's so difficult to even fake being happy right now and I don't, thinks that's fair to Logan.

I need to tell him today, even if it's not romantic, he has to know because I've seen the way he has been observing us, me.

Where is he? Did he leave again? What is so much more important than me, than us?

Closing my eyes, if Logan leaves again today, I will take sometime to recuperate at the cabin, my grandfather's cabin. Logan will understand, he will have to, if he wants me to understand his absences.

Smiling, remembering when gramps health started deteriorating, he would go and lay on the makeshift bed we open at the lake view and he would return rejuvenated. I need to really go there, not just for me, but for my baby. I smiled, at the memories of my time at the cottage and hope my baby gets to see and experience the same things.

I heard faint angry voices in the distance that got louder as they came closer. Logan is angry. What now?

"Someone should have done something" I heard, as his voice got louder and the sound of heels clicking on the tiles, as, no his mother was no doubt following him.

I tried to raise myself up as painlessly as possible, only for my eyes to collide with the pair of deep blue angry eyes, that were glaring at me.

I look behind him to see his mother all flustered, looking on anxiously.

I look at Logan as he came and sat on the lounger bed beside me, shoulders tense and jaws clenched as he obviously fought to control his emotions.

He turns to his mother, sounding just as angry although his tone soften.

"Don't worry, I won't kill her" he looks to his mother, who hesitates for a moment, smiled at me then walks off as I turn back my attention to the angry man beside me, whose attention was on the bottles that he held tightly in his hand. One of which, is my natal vitamins. OH!

"I'm so sorry" told him quickly, as he looks up from the bottles in his hand to meet my gray eyes that stared back at him nervously.

"I.. I wanted .. to .. to.." I immediately started stuttering.

"Jamie" he started, but I cut him off,

"I wanted to tell you in the most romantic way possible, that I was pregnant. I'm so sorry" I said, with downcast eyes and quivering lips.

I saw him place the bottles on the floor in front of him and sighs.

"Jamie I.." was all that he said, as he gently pulls me into his arms. "F**k" he mutter as his body starts heaving and I hear soft sobs, from his trembling body.

I wrapped one arm around his back because my other hand was balancing me on the lounger.

"Please, don't cry, please be happy, for us, for our baby" I plead softly.

He didn't answer, he just continue to weep as I tried to console him. I've already shed the tears that he is shedding right now. I had a choice and I made it. As much as it hurt I made it and I'm not regretting it, not for one second.

"I won't be a burden to you, I promise" I quickly notified him, unsure of this feelings or his thoughts.

Lifting his head off my shoulder, he pushed me back gently to look at me, his angry blue eyes moist with unshed tears.

"Is that what you think of me? Is that what you would have done to me, if it was the other way around?" Logan shakes his head, in disbelief.

Shaking my head in denial, "no, no, of course not. I love you and I would do anything for you" I quickly added to correct myself.

"And I love you!" he stressed softly. "and it's time for you to stop questioning that" he said, tightened the palms of his hand on my shoulders. "I just can't comprehend the pain. that you constantly in" he says, pulling me back into his arms. "and the pain you're going to be in until.." his soft voice trails off...

"I.. ah.. I.. need to change my posture" I said, actually afraid to start complaining about my pain.

"FOR BETTER OR FOR WORST, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH," Logan reminds me, "these were a few of my vows to you and don't you ever forget it." he helped me back on the bed, lying down beside me, placing an arm, around my shoulder, under my head.

"If this pains you, you'll tell me, right?" he asks as he gently hugs me to himself.

I nodded my head that was under his arm. He kisses my forehead, as we quietly relax in an embrace. Home at last!

"Were you planning to run away this morning?" Logan never misses anything.

I stayed silent, knowing that I can't lie to him, so opting to remain silent confirms his suspicions.

He sighs. "Where were you planning to go to?" he suddenly asks.

Unsure of what I should say, still he is my husband and I am pregnant.

"A log cabin that gramps built just outside the city, with the most beautiful view" I smiled as I starts to reminisce again of the cabin and what it meant to our family.

I ended up telling Logan everything and the modern improvements gramps made over the years because of Jess, who refused to use a outhouse, or live without electricity that didn't come from a loud, scary monster, as she describes it.

"How much bedrooms does is there room for outdoor camping?"