〈 Episode 11 〉 Yandere Youngae 11

* * *

I need to fix this. No matter how hard I rack my brain, I can't come up with a good excuse to get out of my current situation.

"It's a big job.

I misjudged. It was my instinct to rush into what felt like a full marriage, or covenant, with her in a hurry. A meaningful act becomes their vow, and when someone like me, and a man like Noel, a man who is technically a force of nature, makes a contract...I am powerless to break it, so I must abide by it.

"So...

I had somehow avoided sleeping with her until now. Perhaps her feelings about kissing me now, with the stance of marriage, is because of the concept of engagement.

'Sleeping with...marriage, I suppose.

And if there is a result in her belly...I am doomed to live in this prison-like mansion and be her puppet. She comes up to me.

"Why are you running away?"

Her eyes are locked in a blank stare that makes me break out in a cold sweat, and her slight shaking is like she's in shock.

"Shit.

Nothing you can say to someone in shock will work. The same goes for the hairy guy who sobbed and sobbed and sobbed because his pockets had been picked, or the drug-addled prostitute who'd just snorted her last good fix and cried when she ran out. The shocked man is speechless.

"I'm not running away."

"You're lying!"

It was a lie, for sure. To say I dream of being an adventurer is the same as saying I will quit being her servant. In other words...she's uneasy at the thought of me leaving.

"I don't intend to be an adventurer, but...

I averted my eyes slightly, stung inwardly by the thought of leaving her.

"Ouch!

She looks up to see that I've averted my eyes.

"Was it really...?"

I had forgotten that she, too, has the ability to discern a person's lies. I look away, realizing that she knows my truths, my lies, and perhaps even my habits.

"Why...why are you leaving?"

Her hand grabs the collar of my shirt.

"Oh, I'm not leaving. Noelle."

"You're lying...you're leaving, just like that time..."

I don't understand what she's saying. Leaving? That would mean that the last thing she remembers of our past together is me leaving.

"Noelle."

I pick her up slowly, fearfully, and hold her tight to steady her shaking body. If I could have broken her ankles and wrists to keep her from running away...I should have. At least I'd have a chance when the wounds healed.

"The only reason I can't marry is because I want to be an adventurer, but..."

He rolled his eyes again.

"It's because I also have a part of me that wants to go traveling with you."

"Uh...?"

Tears formed in her eyes. What a shocker...

"I mean, my dream is to be an adventurer, and of course I'm nowhere near capable of that, but...I'd love to travel the world, see different places with you, and have fun. Honestly..."

It would be impossible. She's an earl's darling.

"Given your status, Noelle, that would be impossible...it would be a dream."

"You want to...travel with me?"

"Yes. I want to travel anywhere, hand in hand with Noel, who is exactly my idealized version of you... I want to be in the dark, with a campfire, with our furs over each other, and I want to feel the danger and the thrill of the journey... I want to run with you, hand in hand, and feel life alive."

Please, through me, she said, her mouth working hard. I rambled on, not really knowing what I was talking about; I just had to come up with an excuse that would convince her. Now that my lie was confirmed, I had to make it true that I wanted to be an adventurer. Then 'I want to leave her' naturally becomes a lie, which leads me to the conclusion that 'I want to be an adventurer like her'.

"I know my ideas are crude, but...

I decided this was the best excuse I could come up with at the moment.

"I see."

Her face brightens again. Slowly, I could see her expression return.

"That's it!

"But between the dream of being an adventurer and the dream of being with you, you come first, and I am your servant forever."

Now I had to keep my facial expressions in check. I couldn't let my eyes wander like they had earlier.

"..."

Noelle looks into my eyes, and then, as if relieved, she snuggles further into my arms. The shock must have taken its toll, because the grip around my waist tightens.

"This is big.

I tried to dismiss it, but instead, I provoked her, instilling in her a sense of caution. Losing was a great excuse.

"At least...

I was glad I'd stopped her from spontaneously kissing me as we talked about marriage.

"It's a kiss... I mean, you can kiss me.

I don't mind kissing her. In fact, now that I think about it, if I had kissed her and reassured her further, she would have been more likely to run away.

"Damn it, you idiot.

I've gotten myself into this mess because I made a fool of myself over a kiss that was supposed to be an engagement, and I made a fool of myself over an adventurer. I'm an adult now, and I'm embarrassed over a childish kiss like an engagement... Noel had the power to make me feel foolish over and over again.

'Haha...I'm not getting anywhere.'

It seemed to me that personalities like hers were the most at risk. An emotionally responsive, almost invincible monster who could not be stopped in any way, Noelle was my natural enemy.

"Noelle."

I needed to calm this beautiful creature. But it doesn't move away from me, instead, it pushes me away.

"No, Noel!"

"Pook!

Beneath my sprawled back is her bed, and I'm on top of her with her in my arms.

"Ah...

I had an ominous feeling that I would stay like this until the next day.

"At least...I'm full.

I try to think positively. On a bad pickpocketing day, my stomach would be rumbling, but at least I'd have grilled salmon and expensive wine from a top chef... so I decided to think of it as a meal.

"Ms. Noel...you need to wash up, right?"

"..."

She buried her head in my chest without saying a word.

"Holy shit.

I had an ominous premonition that I wasn't going to get any sleep for the second night in a row.

.

"You're awake."

I opened my eyes to see the butler on my back. The last thing I remembered from last night, he was still there.

"You slept well.

I had slept well in her arms, even though she called me a monster, and I hadn't even gotten dressed before I collapsed... I had ten mouths to feed the butler.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sure Noel forced you to sleep, so there's no problem."

I had thought of him as a generous butler, a kind chamberlain, but now I perceived him as a jailer who would lock me up.

"I see you've cleaned up..."

Broken glasses, spilled wine bottles, and the last of the grilled salmon, forks, knives, and trays. Everything that needed to be cleaned up was neatly done.

"Yes, sir. It was a lady's order."

"...I'm sorry."

"It's all right. The lady ordered you to come to the ballroom as soon as Tir wakes up."

"The training grounds?"

I asked, straightening my hastily ruffled hair.

"Yep. Hmm, do you want me to give you time to wash up first?

"I guess I should."

Since yesterday, I'd been at Noel's beck and call, waking up, going to the Count's estate, being dragged around, and then being tucked into bed to sleep. He didn't like the fact that he hadn't bathed properly. It reminded me of the days when I had to work hard to wash myself because if I looked dirty, people would be wary and it would be hard to work.

"Let's go to the bathroom."

I hurried out of the shower and looked at the new servants' uniforms in the basket in front of me.

"Strange, now that I think about it.

I had to wonder how they knew my measurements, and I noticed the oddity of a servant's top, bottom, gloves, and shoes that fit me exactly.

'Of course, I don't have a particular body type, but...'

The clothes fit so perfectly that there was no restriction on movement. She'd been living like a fool, thinking it was because of the quality of the material.

'I fell in love with him because he was a white man.

Lesson learned in the slums, don't trust anyone. From holding the beautiful Noel's hand to being dragged from place to place by the kind butler, I'd missed the clues that were everywhere, and now that I'd had a good meal, a good night's sleep, and a shower, my brain was quickly organizing them.

'Well...when you think about it...it's not a bad place to run away.

It takes more than just quick feet to get away. Being quick to cut a line, good at hiding, and so on are secondary. The most important thing is.

"How reassuring you are to your captors.

A slum full of human trafficking veterans. In order to reassure them, a young child desperately read their minds. If I hadn't been able to read their minds, I would already be a slave in a mine, mining ore, not in a slum. Or I would have been abandoned, covered in blood, to be eaten by wild dogs and rats.

"They think I'm trying to fulfill my servant's duty.

I widen my scope. There are hints that they've been working to kidnap me all along. The form-fitting servant's outfit...Noel, who acted as if he hadn't seen me in a long time when he heard my name.

[You, what's your name?]

Why ask the pickpocket, who was about to steal my bag, for his name? The story works if you're interested in the subject. There were other possibilities. Like the possibility that he was attracted to me from the first moment we met... People love fairy tales about love at first sight because they're fairy tales.

'Everything... happens for a reason.

I try to think more calmly.

[She's not lying...Tirga...she's right].

I remembered Noelle's words, how she'd made it sound like she hadn't seen me in a long time. It was a trick to keep me from thinking she was playing a prank on me.

"If they're kidnappers...

She pretends to know me, and she's very good at approaching me. Whether she knows me and has memories remains to be seen. However, suppose her claim that she hasn't seen me in a long time is false, and she deliberately allows me to approach?

[Here, these are the things in my bag you were after].

This is when you should have caught her. I should have caught her while she was at it." [Here are the items in my bag that you targeted] I should have caught her while she was at it. Why would I feel guilty with expensive jewelry that would deteriorate on the dirt floor? Why would I feel guilty if I opened the door to being hired as a servant?

"Damn it...

The story was...starting to fit together. He asked my name from the beginning, pretending to know it to give me hope. I don't remember, but she's the most malicious woman I've seen in a long time... and then she clutters my eyes and head with jewelry from a bag she's prepared and offers me servitude as a way to make a living? Noel must have read my character and prepared carefully...

'And the behavior of the butler.'

Normally, when a servant came in, a chamberlain would ask about his whereabouts, his age, where he lived, and his past history, and then assign him to a suitable job. But he hadn't asked me anything about my new life as a full-time servant, and he'd done it as if he knew me.

"Yeah...I see.

They've been following me, or rather, I should say, they've been carefully orchestrating my abduction.

"Then...

The pieces of the puzzle clicked together. Gradually, the missing pieces of the puzzle began to appear and fit together.

"What if... I knew he was pickpocketing in the marketplace that day?

What if Noelle was in the area...so that I would be forced to steal her bag, and I would have to know my route.

'Wait...the work...the thing...the thing that pointed me to Noelle...was Jeffers...the asshole...'

Jeffers had shown up late, claiming to be up late, but there was something about him that was suspicious. He was often late, but whenever he was, he'd whine and say something like, "Oh, can't I take the day off?" or something about being sick or having bad luck or something, but he didn't say anything, just pointed his thumb at Noel.

["Well, who knew there would be so many people this morning."]

[Didn't I tell you that the market would be crowded this morning because of the return of the Countess?]

[What difference does it make?]

[If it's not in the morning, people will have bloodshot eyes and won't be able to monitor the work properly]

[What, don't be so hard on me, it's almost nap time anyway, and people will be pretty groggy, so it'll be fine.]

[Crazy... How many times have I told you that the morning rush is our biggest problem? Haha... Never mind.]

[So, by the way, how are things over there?]

I remember my conversation with him, how he yawned excessively when I told him that the Countess's Honor was back and bustling with activity. At the time, I didn't think anything of it, but his intentional behavior was annoying.

"And..."

[Yes. So you're going to pick the first starter?]

A guy who's quite greedy for money... is giving me a player? No matter how late he came, there was no precedent for such a thing between them. Strange and intentional behavior...

"You bastard!!!"

If...there was one person in my life who knew me the best, who would they be, and who would be able to divulge my exact location and whereabouts?

Jeffers!!!

Noel's knowledge of my past is still a mystery, but if he were to kidnap me? Who would be his number one confidant? Someone with credibility, someone who could recommend my work...

Jeffers. He was the only one.

"Jeffers betrayed me?!...No, he didn't! That asshole!"

I had a strange feeling from the first time I met him. Hanson and Oatmealer had betrayed me before, slapped me and ran away. It's been a week since they've been caught getting greedy and hitting my work in the streets of the Thieves' Guild...

[working alone?]

Wrist, caught wandering the back alleys pickpocketing. How does Jeffers know I was alone? And, no matter how friendly he is, what kind of a slumlord would talk down to a stranger?

"Nothing."

It was his age that made Jeffers the oddest geek I'd ever met in my eighteen years, and it was as if he knew I was working alone, or that I was a pickpocket in the first place. I was tired of pretending to be a normal person when I hadn't even been working for a day or two. When asked how he knew I was a pickpocket, Jeffers replied.

["We all know each other."]

I should have been suspicious of him from then on. If my reasoning is correct, he had been spying on me for four years. I kept my residence a secret until the very end.

"What if I left Jeffers... and was followed?"

And if I had been followed by someone of the caliber recruited by the White House, my home would have been easily discovered.

'Ah...'

If it turns out that Jeffers, the man I've worked with for four years, is a mole...

I'd be walking into a trap... a trap that had been set over time...

By the time I came to myself, they had dug a deep trap from which there was no escape. I hadn't eaten in three days, and I'd been so busy with Noel that I hadn't caught on... As my thoughts organized themselves, anger rose in me.

"Fucking!!!!"

The curse word I couldn't quite get out exploded in my mind. The sound of water droplets rising from the steam in the bathtub rang unusually loud in my ears.

* * *