Tony_Wong
Stop with the girlish voice ND make it atleast childish voice or something.. it's irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating irritating!!!
I liked the beginning of the story but the MC status isn’t clear. I don’t know is he’s strong or weak , smart or stupid. It’s unclear, he’s basically afraid of a normal human, no matter how strong a human can be he’s still a human do I don’t get it. Making S.H.I.E.L.D overpowerd without a basis or reasons is also weird. I don’t know but i think you could’ve done better if you wanted to make Marvel universe on Hell mode. The MC character is a bit weird. On the other hand, your story has some very funny material that i really enjoyed. Keep it up and Good luck
MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice MC has a girlish voice
If you are a fan of marvel then after 2 chapter you will question WTF am I reading? mc using Buddhist power to go on evil path, that's just dumb, you can't wield that power if you are using it for evil. Dumbest ancient one and that information about kidnapping in Nepal at airport is just bad. I get it's a fan fiction bt still that information someone will take seriously. And I am only describing these actions happened in 5 chapters. It was enough for me to guess that author is writing this for getting experience and not taking this whole situation seriously.
Girlish voice And the author is not listening to suggestions So ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ...........\. .......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\...
Honestly you couldve just said that the MC has a girlish voice in the beginning but instead you have to constantly write it down and it frankly got annoying. The characters arent bad per say but they feel odd if I do say so myself. I personally dont like the pacing since sometimes it makes me confused
Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash Splish splash this novel is trash