A New Reality of The Moon's Illusion Pt. 1
FEAR's POV
Prince Alukarde is what they call me now... it came from an alias they gave me on the internet as the inverted name of e-Dracula. Alukarde!
To mention my cousin Cristian, he used to be a Priest. When he got so drunk, the psychedelic effects of alcohol made him see things he was not supposed to. Such as seeing the demon of myself. That night of the full moon, the moon was shining upon the greyed earth after the sun's sunk under the ocean to rest for the moon to take over its side.
Its beaming light unto the surface made my cousin Cristian's mind moonstruck, turning him into a lunatic, or maybe he was no lunatic but for his Sakristan's instincts saw the demon of I. He started trying to exorcise me by saying "Rebuke", "Cast out", and other exorcist words.
I was about to gnarl like an actual demon at him, but I controlled my tamed beast for that long moment until he went home. Then once he was gone, I went to take a bath and gnarled at the moon like the Devil himself, the howl of the dragon Leviathan!
It was the type of gnarl every human would experience once in a red moon, perhaps something they would hear during the battle of God's bowl of anger, the apocalypse itself.
I howled as a demon so loud the neighbourhood started to shut their devices that caused trashy Filipino rap music and their chattering teeth of lack of common sense. After my cousin Cristian heard that from a mile away, I heard him praying in his mind.
He was praying for me. No, don't pray for me. I don't need to be saved, for the Devil I ain't afraid. For He can't do anything, he has already done to me!
I tracked his mind where he was going and saw through his eyes. He went back to the church where he was trained as a priest and wanted to train again. Part of him wants to kill me. Part of him just wants to save me from my demonism.
Part of him loves me as a little cousin, like his own son. Part of him wants to stake my heart, behead me, and set my entire body on fire while chanting Latin spells. Later that night, my father and I were about to watch Bram Stoker's Dracula again for the millionth time. Both of us enjoy the film together most of the time, but he wasn't interested in the Netflix series version of it.
He was familiar with the actors in the old film Dracula, such as Jonathan Harker and Keanu Reeves, his favourite actor. I was surprised that this English Nobleman is actually Keanu Reeves, but in his youngest days as one of his first main character centred movies. He knows all the real names of each actor in the film. He recognises the faces.
For me, my favourite character there was Renfield as he said, "God wouldn't damn a lunatic soul". I have Dracula's intelligence and love style, whilst Renfield's madness and human compassion. For there are 2 people in this body.
I, as the lunatic eating nothing but small things that contain blood and life just to sustain my blood lust, and Fear which he comes by many names that keep me imprisoned in my own mind and takes over my body to do such evil deeds for his own gains. Deep inside, I am confused, which I truly am if I am evil or good. All I know is that I serve the cross, yet I am afraid of it thanks to the trauma I had with it. The sign of the cross has something that I do not have.
It's grace... and I fell from it a long time ago. Thanks to the traumatic pasts I had as a child, which I no longer remember, the cross makes me remember them. It's psychological post-trauma. I served the church in my entire childhood and moved on away from it. But still, even if I am a man of evil, I am just misunderstood. I still seek my God.
I know He has forsaken me, and I know he will never let me enter Heaven in my undeath as an immortal, for my soul belongs in the lowest bottomless pit of the infernal flames of forever darkness, I still pray to him, secretly worship him, love him, thanking him for the little good things I've enjoyed each day.
I privately pray to him, unlike those Catholics and Christians who pray in front of the streets, just to prove their loyalty to God.
Just like the son of God said, "Pray into the public streets, people will praise you that will be already your reward, but I tell you this my child, do pray alone in your room and you will be rewarded secretly by my Father." Yet I have no rewards, only punishment, regardless of the undeserving punishments and all the sorrow and grief I feel all my life every second of the rest of my nights, I do not care, I still pray to him, look up to him, do not ask for help but rather than for everything he's done for me.
I worship him. That is what makes even the most abominable looking demons a "HUMAN". Unlike the HUMANS we call nowadays are just sheep in wolf's clothing in a large pack we call SOCIETY. In their hierarchy. But I am a sheep but in Wolf's clothing... now you see the contradiction here? Do you see it? It is the mentality of the inferiority and superiority complex of all humans have, even monsters like myself.
I am a Demon with a Human's Compassion. As nobody forgives me for my slightest mistakes, I forgive everyone for their grievous sins against me once they admit their wrongs. But if they are foolishly deceitful about their apologies, I will send them to Hell and if they reach below the surface, tell the Devil I sent them. So, Satan will double my salary.
Now, as for the continuation of the story, let us proceed. Before we watched Dracula, my father and I accidentally turned on the breaking news before turning on my PS4's Netflix, moving to the HDMI mode of the 25-inch Plasma Television.
The Vaccine of the crown virus has been rolling out throughout the nation. But it did not reach Pampanga yet. As for the vaccination, most of the population refused the Vaccine because it came from China. They wanted the Pfizer and AstraZeneca vaccines from UK and America instead, or it's because they are either anti-vac people who are quite dumb that they think the Vaccine kills people and causes autism.
And because they are afraid of needles, which is half of the population of the Philippines. So, they rather slowly die horribly by the crown virus instead of getting thrust in the fore-shoulder of the needle once in their life just to be saved. It's quite stupid, I might say.
The next day, Father and I went to get vaccinated, but my father refused to. I asked why. It's another contradiction he wanted me to get vaccinated to go outside without him getting infected. As well as saying he wants to get vaccinated at the same time as I am. But instead, he refused to, but he wanted me to be the one to get vaccinated instead. Why? Two simple yet important reasons!
My father is merciful towards me. Thanks to the house arrest last year, he never hits me, even if I attempted to murder him once. He spared me, he didn't even take me to the cops, he didn't take me to the mental asylum, and he scrammed me off to the streets.
He kept me here well protected and safe and took great care of me as his own son, which I literally am. Because he understands what I am going through. He was about to literally kill me after the failure of my attempted murder in his sleep.
Still, he saw the child I used to be before, the angel that fell from Heaven to give smiles and yellow happiness of the radiant sun to others when I was my youngest before. He lowered his fist and hugged me.
Instead of going mad, dog, I cried like a weeping fallen angel wanting to go back to Heaven, for I have my wings severed as a punishment. Although he survived it, he was not entirely harmed but a small puncture of the screwdriver I used as a murder weapon.
He still loved me and held me like a child. That is where I gained my true humanity. That is why I never go under a blood rage anymore whenever I lust for blood and feel the vampiric thirst and hunger for feeding on the living flesh.
The 2 critical reasons why he wants me to get vaccinated whilst he is not are because number 1, he is merciful enough to get me vaccinated as fast as I needed to be so I can go out of house arrest already, even go outside any time of the night even as well, 2nd, he does not want the Chinese Vaccine for its 50% efficacy rate and its power to be immune to the virus itself, he wanted the AstraZeneca or the Pfizer instead from the UK.
Each time he hears about the Chinese Vaccine, he starts cursing at it on television as if he's actually talking to the people in the picture shown on the news on television.
But that happened a few days before I turned 21 last year in 2020.