1st Dilemma

AKI

IZUMI Aki, a 32-year-old Alpha doctor. If I have one biggest problem in my life… that would be the fact that I was born with feminine looks! And it ticks me, a lot!

While growing up, I was struggling with my height and body development. Instead of having a big build and defined facial features, I ended up being always mistaken as an Omega. People around me kept teasing me, telling me to double check my test results. Even my parents could not believe their eyes when I grew up into a beautiful man. Having good looks when you're an Alpha is not bad but in my case, I had a hard time proving myself. So, when I became a doctor, I started to gain respect and acknowledgment from people around me.

But recently, I realized that it was not what I really wanted.

"Chihiro, cancel my meeting with Kicchan today. I have something else to do tonight," sabi ko sa isang dambuhalang lalaki na may balingkinitang balat at magulong buhok.

Awtomatiko namang lumiwanag ang mukha ng lalaki nang makita ako. "Opo, Sensei!" kaagad n'yang tugon at nangiting parang bata na nanalo ng papremyo sa isang pa-birthday.

Siya si Hanamichi Chihiro, 22 years old. Siya ang bago kong secretary. Nandito siya upang kumpletuhin ang OJT experience na kinakailangan n'ya upang maka-graduate ito ng kolehiyo.

Sa una naming pagkikita ay namangha ako sa taglay n'yang height at laki ng katawan. Nainggit ako dahil walang kahirap-hirap n'yang naangkin ang ganoong features at natural lang daw siyang lumaki nang lumaki. Mukha siyang tanga at palaging lutang pero masipag si Chihiro. Lahat ng ipinapagawa at inuutos ko sa kanya ay sinusunod n'ya. Kung may problema man ako kay Chihiro, iyon ay ang masakit na katotohanang isa siyang Omega!

Hindi ko lubos maisip na mas tinalo pa ako ng isang Omega sa pagkakaroon ng mala-Alpha na katawan! Ilang na ilang ako kapag naglalapit kami dahil sobrang halata ng pagkakaiba naming dalawa pero salungat ang pinaparating sa akin ng aking sekretarya.

"Sensei, mag-iingat ka sa lakad mo mamaya. *Suki desu [I like you]!" ani Chihiro sabay ngiti ng matamis.

「He is that kind of guy!」 Sigaw ko sa isipan sabay iwas ng tingin sa kanya habang nagba-blush ng bongga.

I couldn't decipher how he manages to tell me those words every single day. Para bang naka-set na ang utak n'ya na sabihan ako ng mga katagang iyon sa tuwing paalis na ako o 'di kaya ay may agarang lakad. Aside from being creepy, it's just way too blunt!

"Ah, mm…" alinlangan kong sagot bago naglakad palabas ng clinic. "Huwag mong kalimutang sabihan si Kicchan at magsara ka na pagkaalis ko," habol ko pang paalala.

"Opo, Sensei! Bye!" masayang-masaya n'yang tugon at hindi ko na siya sinagot, sa halip ay winagayway ko lang ang aking kamay bago tuluyang umalis.

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Bigla akong dinalaw ng pagkauhaw kaya minabuti kong huwag na munang makipagkita kay Kicchan. He used to regularly visit my clinic for pheromone shots pero simula noong maging mates na sila ng kanyang fated pair na si Okuda Ryuichi ay dumalang na ang pagpunta n'ya sa clinic. At lalo na itong dadalang dahil mayroon na silang anak ngayon.

「And tonight, I want to clear my mind and think of nothing else but sexual entertainment,」 I helplessly thought while putting on a bitter expression on my face.

I slowly picked my phone from my jacket's pocket then dialed someone's number. Mabilis namang sinagot ng nasa kabilang linya ang tawag ko. "Hello? Napatawag ka?" bungad ng isang boses sa kabilang linya. It was a man's voice that was a little husky and raspy to the ears.

Napangiti naman ako nang bahagya. "I need some companion tonight," pasimple kong tugon at narinig kong natawa ang lalaki sa kabilang linya.

"Okay. Tell me the place and I'll meet you there," sang-ayon kaagad ng lalaki saka ini-end ang tawag.

I texted the guy that I just called, gave him the address of the love hotel, at lugar kung saan kami magkikita bago isinilid muli sa jacket ko ang aking cellphone. Isang malalim na buntonghininga naman ang pinakawalan ko bago ako napatingala sa kalangitan.

"It sure is starry tonight," I said to myself while gazing at the dazzling starlight that reflected on my eyes. It was so beautiful yet my heart felt so empty.

Pagkarating ko sa love hotel, the man I was supposed to meet was already at the entrance, probably waiting for me. Nangiti ito nang mapuna ako at tinangkang bigyan ako ng halik sa aking pisngi but I quickly gave him an intimidating look before he could even do so.

He was taller than me with great body physique na sakto lang sa muscles. He told me that we were around the same age but I doubt that he was a year or two older. And he was an Alpha.

"Shall we go inside?" nakangising yaya nito sa 'kin.

"Shut up. Follow me and let's make this quick," inis kong baling sa kanya at naunang pumasok sa hotel. Kumuha kami ng room, nag-request ng isang bote ng wine at nag-usap sandali before going to the main course.

This man was just one of my many sex friends. All of them were around my age or older and they were all Alphas. I would call them when I was feeling down or frustrated over something. All we ever had was physical relationships, nothing more. Besides, majority of these stupid Alphas already have mates but they were bastard motherfuckers who loved screwing around, trying bizarre things while enjoying sex.

And I was stupid enough for enjoying their stupidity, as well.

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"Did something happen?" biglang tanong sa akin ng kasama ko ngayon. We're both naked now and a little drunk.

"Why do you ask?" I said and positioned myself on top of him while sloppily stroking my cock that was already soaked in my own pre-cum.

"Dahil tinawagan mo ako. You only call me when you are frustrated about that Omega that you are in love with," aniya habang taimtim na nakatitig sa hubad kong kabuuan. I even caught him secretly lick his lower lip in an erotic way.

I scoffed then chuckled. "So, may pakialam ka na ngayon kung ano ang rason ko kapag tatawagan kita?" asik ko sa kanya.

"Not really," tanggi n'ya at pagkatapos ay hinapit ng hipo ang pagkalalake ko.

I clicked my tongue before raising my hip a little. Using my right hand, I grabbed the guy's cock then slowly, I put it inside my asshole. "Aah…" I sweetly let out a moan as my hole slowly widened to his shape, making me shudder all over. The guy then grabbed both of my butt cheeks and squeezed them tightly, bringing a spine-tingling sensation to my body and I started to get excited from the inside.

"Start moving your ass, bitch," sabik nitong utos sa akin at mas humigpit ang pagkakapisil n'ya sa puwet ko.

I granted his silly request and started raising my hips up and down. "Aah… Mmfgh… Ahh…" I couldn't help but moan because in this position, his dick would reach my deepest parts.

We were both Alphas but our bodies were far different. Having this feminine looks and body that looked more like that of an Omega, I couldn't also deny the fact that I was born a *Neko [the one who takes the female role in sex between men].

And this was one of my darkest secrets.

"Can you feel it, Aki? My dick is being devoured by your boy pussy!" malaswang saad ng katalik ko habang nakangisi itong parang manyak na ulol.

"Aah! You fucker, call me 'Aki' again and I'll fucking kill you. Aah…" umuungol na banta ko sa kanya pero hindi ito natinag bagkus ay mas pinatindi nito ang sarap na nararamdaman ko nang sabayan n'ya ang bawat galaw ko. "Hyaah! Aah! Ngh… Aah… Fuck! Ahh…"

"You're really beautiful, Aki…" he complimented with his eyes burning with lust while stroking my face with his free hands.

"I said don't—Aah!" Hindi ko na nagawang ituloy ang nais kong sabihin dahil mas nangibabaw na ang sarap na natatamasa ng aking katawan sa mga sandaling ito.

I let all of my frustrations leave my mind and focused on pleasuring myself with this Alpha cock that I loved so much. I desperately relied on to this man as I cried and moaned, begging for his affection to be rendered and focused onto me — even if it was just temporary.

「Just tonight… Just tonight I want to forget that I just lost the one I loved to another Alpha…」

"Aki, I'm almost cumming!" gigil na saad ng lalaki at nagsimulang tumindi ang tensiyon ng paggalaw n'ya sa loob ko.

Napakapit naman ako sa kanyang balikat, ramdam na malapit na rin akong labasan. "Ahh! Cum inside me! Let it all out inside!" gigil ko ring pakli habang bumubuhos na ang mga luha ko sa magkahalong sakit at sarap. "Fuck me! Fuck me, Kicchan!" Kasabay ng pagkakasambit ko ng pangalan ni Kicchan ay sabay kaming nilabasan ng lalaki. Nanginig ang buong katawan ko sa dami ng ipinutok ng katalik ko at maging ako ay maraming nailabas. Pagkatapos no'n ay pagod akong napahiga sa kanyang dibdib habang hinihingal nang husto.

"So his name was 'Kicchan', huh? The Omega who met his fated pair?" ani lalaki. I couldn't see his face but I guess he probably smirked.

"Shut up," pambabalewala ko lang sa kanya bago nanlumo ang ekspresiyon ng aking mukha.

Yes.

I have been in love with Kicchan for a very long time. He was dear to me and I knew how deeply he was hurt by his previous mate that's why I decided to stay by his side. There were times that I wanted to confess my feelings but he only saw me as a friend and I did not want to ruin our relationship. I loved him so much… so much that I even trusted him over to Okuda, even it meant crushing my own heart.

「This is something I can't tell Kicchan. Never. Mas gugustuhin kong manatiling kaibigan ang tingin n'ya sa akin kaysa kamuhian n'ya ako,」 wari ko sa isipan kasabay ng pagpatak muli ng mga luha ko.

"I'm sorry, Kicchan," nagsisising paghingi ko ng patawad sa kawalan habang umiiyak at nanatiling nakahiga pa rin sa dibdib ng lalaki.

"You're one weird Alpha," ang tanging nasabi na lamang ng lalaki sabay niyakap ako sa kanyang mga bisig, pilit na pinapagaan ang loob ko.

"I love you, Kicchan. I'm so sorry. Forgive me."

I repeated those words many times before I bawled like a defeated child within the arms of this Alpha that I barely knew. He, in return, remained silent and listened to my broken cries as I called out Kicchan's name over and over again.

Tonight, my unrequited love just ended.

「to be continued」