Chapter 43

Seconds become minutes, minutes become hours, hours become days, weeks, months.

Time floats by like slow burning lava, leaving new structures along its path.

My identity erupts and evolves.

I was going to see Skye again, Vastian and Raygar.

I've already met Mila.

One year after I lost my foot.

Mila stands opposite me, after the scientists and Jawkin dressed me in prestigious army gear. The kind only the best wore. Metal plates cover my shoulders and breasts, while my middle is bear and I wear almost nothing beyond a slip. I moved better without the weight of armour, you see. And my new foot was somewhat heavy because of the metal.

But still, I moved silently.

Precise movements had become my love. I was hyper focused on correct combat moves, silent stalking, shadow hopping and devious tactics to evade obvious capture, traps, ambush or being a victim of allurement.

I was being trained for being perfectly cold and smart and obedient.

Fyre was focused on Transcendence.

I was not allowed – Xrat was Skye's primary Beast now.

I hadn't seen, transcended or been given hope that Xrat and I would ever be the same or reunited. All I knew was that the bond was still there, I felt it – but it seemed to be a topic all wished to ignore.

Even the Alphas. Who all avoided me for the entire year.

Ahh. Classic distrust. My favourite concept.

I could survive via two simple rules.

Who can I trust? Me.

What can I not trust? Everyone else.

Including Fyre, and I loved her – but I would never trust her.

We agreed not to trust each other and it worked.

We barely tolerated each other. We argued most nights, or slept soundly with favourable silence.

We were too much alike.

And I was jealous with Fyre able to Transcend into her own special Beast they made for her.

Now, one year later, I had been trained so quickly and successfully, the Genesis scientists decided to present me to the Alpha family as an asset.

Mila couldn't resist but come and peek early.

She arrives heavily pregnant, unexpected, but okay?

Mila is beautiful, dressed in flowing robes, blushing and chubby and pretty, but she's also in shock as she sees me standing in the lab, straight, tall and unwavering.

"Can she still talk?" Mila whispers to the proud scientists around me, including Jawkin, who was with me every step of the way.

"Yes, but Ryder knows the value of speaking when only necessary," Jawkin explains with a beaming smile, "Are you proud of yourself, Ryder?"

Mila's blue eyes focus on mine immediately.

I shrug one shoulder. I don't answer with words.

"Wow. Arrogant now, Ryder?" Mila tests me with a smile, "I mean it in a friendly way," No, that was sarcasm. I raise a brow, but she continues, "…loyalty to –?" she begins to taunt me.

I answer immediately with a bark, " –to Wolf Dominion."

"Aren't you going to ask who the father is?" Mila changes the topic, suddenly, and with a slight moment of nerves seeping through her twisting nose, "Europa, he's a leader of a secondary company and he's very lethal in the field. Formidable."

"So is Ryder," Jawkin speaks for me, completely proud, like a second mother.

"Although anyone can run and jump and shoot a lazer," Mila licks her lips.

"Actually, Ryder can rip your throat out, accurately and efficiently with her teeth, without making a sound, and in under approximately three seconds while gaining momentum if she's coming from above, or even below, it'll depend," Jawkin gets technical and flighty with her excitement, while Mila blushes a bit more.

"Um, I don't… care," Mila stumbles on her words again, perhaps because while her eyes have left mine multiple times, I'm just staring at her the entire time, knowing it would intimidate.

"We'll bring her above," Jawkin offers.

"No, ah," Mila has a chance to leave, but her voice softens, while she rubs her belly, takes a sudden step toward me and admits, still confused, "I think I admire you like this, it… suits you, I guess," Mila looks me over and then turns, "Follow me to the Ward."

"Yes, Alpha Mila," Jawkin obeys and we all follow as commanded.

"Shades?" I ask Jawkin, immediately thinking of Hades and how I wish to slaughter him one day. One day. One day –

"No Shades tonight, it's just a common place to celebrate lower class events," Jawkin murmurs, "You are unique, but you still rank as a low guardian, you… just can stand aside. You won't have to do anything."

"Why are you nervous for me?" I ask Jawkin.

"No reason," Jawkin lies, but she farewells Fyre, who remains in her cage and she flips me the bird.

"Don't have too much fun, bitch," Fyre calls out to me.

"Don't kill yourself, love," I call back to Fyre, and she snorts and lays down to sleep.

Did I say distrust was important? And movement.

Sure.

All that and sleep.

Sleep was the only time every single side of me flourished. The tears. The desperation. The hopes. The dreams. The love. Sex. The old me. The loving me.

Then when I was awake, I was callous and an expert.

At hiding all of it.

My dreams were always eventually replaced with realities, fears and traumas.

I had to evolve. So I did.

I had to become dangerous. So I was.

****

The red dim Ward is packed full Genesis kind in robes and suits and sitting on chairs or standing around in political groups.

Lanterns are abound. A fake moon rolls in the 'sky'. The heat is turned up. Light pleasant music plays.

This night is interesting, a celebration for Mila apparently. A baby shower, you could say.

And lots of feasting.

All of it is pretty and foreign to me after living in a lab environment for many months, but I ignore the stares by retaining my non-emotive self.

I've remained this way, all the way up to old faces.

The back of them, at least. I observe coolly, with hooded eyes, the tall giants who rule Wolf Dominion.

I stand aside as Jawkin takes charge, she goes forward and she murmurs in Skye's ear, "Ahem – Skye? Ryder has completed her year in solitary for shooting Raygar. May I present her to you?"

They both turn. Formidable brothers, Skye and Raygar.

I immediately notice the differences in their appearances.

One year on Skye makes him look crueller and older. Raygar's hair has grown out and he's eyes are rimmed with charcoal, a new look.

They both take me in with a surprise and neutrality. We were in the public eye, after all. Everything remains political.

Anything so rigid, however, was brittle, susceptible to cracks from the least amount of pressure.

"Your gift is that she's… ready… as Vastian wished," Jawkin stands back with her forever-clipboard, while I stay standing stoic and immovable.

I don't look away from the Alphas, but I don't smile either, I'm just patient.

"Appreciated," Raygar dismisses Jawkin without looking at her.

She scurries off, while I'm left with these two.

Skye can't stand still and silent for long, especially with so many eyes on his reaction to my presence.

"Does she speak?" Skye rumbles what Mila did, as if he can't make himself ask me a question directly.

"Did they cut out her tongue?" Raygar adds, for good measure, sharing a knowing look with Skye, before looking back to me, "…you look… well, Ryder… strong?"

I half shrug.

"Speak up," Skye growls at me, he is disturbed by my intense silence and staring.

"The Luna of Wolf Dominion will speak when she feels she needs to," I speak loudly in third person, I blink slowly, and I shock the crowd as much as I take Skye and Raygar by surprise too.

Jawkin hadn't been too far off after all and I hear her gasp and go white with embarrassment as she fans herself with the clipboard – braving for impact.

I turn from both Skye and Raygar to find Vastian.

I dismiss myself.

My eyes scan the crowd in the dim area.

I spot Vastian with my nostrils flared, he is sitting with a group of sub Alphas that make up Zrot Company. Vastian looks no different – stubborn and polite.

I'm on my way there when I'm intercepted – by Skye. He's power walked to catch me from walking away.

Skye stalks directly in front of me and cuts me off in my search, catching my eye and the silence of those around us.

"You're asking for another year with that mouth of yours," Skye warns me, I see he wants to say more but can't.

He better learn to say more.

The council are close.

Familiar eyes focus on us and our interaction.

"What did I do?" I ask, calmly, looking up at the respected 'Alpha'.

"You called yourself the Luna –" Skye's tone starts to drip with his death drawl, which I immediately cut off.

"I've developed a weak sense of humour," I respond so cool, with a small dead laugh, while looking through him… that the crowd around us actually laughs collectively. With me.

"You're a comedian now?" Skye whispers, distraught but also intrigued by the woman he's staring at but doesn't know.

My answer is finite, "No."

Again, the crowd laughs light heartedly by my insanely dead but also confident responses.

However, while we're observed, I still stare directly at Skye and he stares at me and he seems to realise the shift too.

He's speechless, but he can't look away.

Or step out of my way.

"Don't worry, Alpha," as I drawl it, Skye leans down toward me instinctively to hear more, as I let out a smile, soft as I lean up on my toes to whisper in his ear, for him alone to hear – just him, "I'm only insane."

Truth.

My feelings were not the same. My thoughts were not the same. Nothing was.

A year had passed.

I had already made and rehearsed the plan, over, and over.

Over and down.

Toward the end.