Sugar Plums - Ella POV

"What is up with you two? I can't figure this shit out." Dylan was giving me looks ever since Eros left.

"Nothing, I guess."

"Nothing? He completely loses his temper with you and then you bandage him up without hesitation. What was that shit about you owe him too?"

I huffed taking a seat. I guess we weren't going to look over his essay on Michelangelo, like we planned to do. Dylan was an art major, like me, but that also requires art history classes. After begging him to let me pay him back for helping me he asked how much I knew about dead artist. Yes, he actually said dead artist. I studied a lot of the past art and already took this class last year so I jumped at the opportunity to help him. We weren't getting to that until I answered him first though.

"I've known Eros since I was twelve when I first moved here. I wouldn't say we ever been friends though. He just helped me out a lot and I know I owe him."

"Babe, you don't owe him anything. If he helped then it's free and clear. There shouldn't be any bullshit strings attached."

"Yeah. He's not a big fan of strings." I rolled my eyes.

"Answer me honestly. Has he ever hit you? Or yelled at you like before in the parking lot."

"No, never. Eros isn't that nice to me, but he isn't violent. It doesn't matter anymore. I see how he really wants me and nothing is happening between us again."

"Riiigghht! You just gave him your virginity, and I take it that was only a few days ago, but nothing is going on there."

"What? How do you... please, can we stop talking about this."

"Ok. Sorry, I just want to make sure he isn't hurting you."

"Only mentally." I sighed, which was really my fault. He opened the door and I jump in agreeing to anything he wanted. That was the worst part. I felt so stupid thinking he actually cared about me.

"Well, if that ever changes you have my number. Don't be afraid to call me for any reason. Promise."

"Yeah, I promise. Thank you, Dylan." I smiled at him. He was really concerned about me being abused. "Now let's get to this essay. My parents and I are going to the tree lighting in town tonight."

He pulled out his work and wow! That's all I had to say. I honestly believed he made some teenage mutant turtle references in this paper. It wasn't written all that bad just absolutely no real research behind it. I crossed out Michelangelo's love for pizza and tunnels and gave him some new resources to read. He cringed at the thought of reading the bibliographys, but I had faith in him.

After Dylan left I spent way too long changing in my closet. Eros' voice was constantly in my head and I hated it. I never let anyone change me before. I don't understand why simple choices like my clothes were affecting me so much.

"Ella, we got to get going in five." My dad yelled up to me making me curse. Shit! I don't curse either. I threw on my woody wood pecker sweater and dark jeans then ran out my room before I changed my mind.

Woody and his little penguin friend was perfect for this chilly night. Plus, this was one of my dad's favorite cartoons. He would laugh so hard at the little red bird. I still don't understand how he found him so funny.

The car ride to downtown was quiet and I knew not to spark any conversation. I zipped my jacket so my mom didn't see my shirt either. She always made comments I needed to dress more age appropriate, but I knew she just wanted me to stop reminding her of him. It was frustrating, but I also didn't mind. I prayed I had that kind of love one day. Not that one of us died, but that it was almost unbearable to breath without the other.

"I'm going to get some roasted peanuts and checkout the sights. Meet you by the tree in an hour." I reached up kissing my dad's cheek.

"Ok, see you soon, princess." He kissed me back. I glanced behind me as I walked away and my mom wrapped her arm around Aaron making me smile. When we first arrived she was looking around aimlessly, almost like she was embarrassed to be with us. I knew she just didn't want to engage in conversation with me though.

This was always her favorite holiday and my dad went all out for her. She still loved the season, but she celebrated it in a much different way than back home.

Here in the city it was lavish decorations, radio playing holiday songs, business dinners, and huge gatherings. Back home was handmade decorations that often fell apart by Christmas, actual people singing carols, bake offs, and a rodeo dance with pig races and all. Two very different worlds.

"Oh, Ella!" Stacy grabbed my shoulder as I almost bumped into her. Now she remembers my name.

"Hi Stacy. Merry Christmas." I smiled and walked away pretending I didn't almost knock her over.

"Such a freak." I heard her say to whoever she was with. I was so use to the name calling it didn't even bother me anymore.

When I first came here, I cried everyday. I didn't understand how kids could be so mean. I felt like I was taken from paradise and placed in a rotten hell. My mom couldn't handle anymore on her plate so I kept it to myself. After about eight months Aaron caught on and that's when he made sure I was always smiling. As odd as a twelve year old having an adult as a best friend that is exactly what he became to me.

"Hey, Ella." Eros' voice hit my ears while standing in the hot chocolate line and I froze. I really didn't want to be taunted anymore.

"Hey." I turned and gave him a small smile. I noticed both his sister, Lucy, and Chrissy with him and rolled my eyes once they wouldn't see me.

"I know you're still mad."

"I'm not mad. Just waiting to get some hot chocolate."

Now Chrissy rolled her eyes. "What did you do to the little girl. Love the pigtails by the way." Her hand brushed my shoulder over one braid.

"Thanks, I think." I turned back around. I was not spending the next hour with them.

"Eros, why are you always so bad?" Chrissy's voice was all sex and I'm sure she was touching him. I wasn't going to look though. He can go running back to her all he wants.

"Enough Chrissy. You're here with Lucy, not me." I could hear the anger in his voice and it made me bite my lip. Why did that make me so happy to hear from him?

"Ella." I could feel him right behind me now.

"Eros, everything is fine. I promise. I just want some hot chocolate. Enjoy your time with your family." I gave him an even bigger smile this time.

"Can I at least by you a cup? Let me do something to make it up to you."

"It's fine, Eros."

"You're lying, Ella." He teased behind me. I instantly smiled and bit my lip again. God, he even looked so handsome in his cashmere graphite coat with a plaid scarf. Shit!

"Excuse me!" I stepped out of line. "Merry Christmas." I blurted out turning in a full circle then kept walking. I needed to get away from him. I sped walk back towards the tree praying he didn't follow me, yet secretly wished he did. I hate myself.

"Hey dad!" I smiled big to him trying to hid my discomfort. Sorry mom you're going have to take one for the team here.

"What happened?"

"Nothing! Everything is fine."

"Ella?"

"I said it's fine." Shit! That was rude. "I just got bored. Can I stay with you guys?"

My mom looked at me concerned and my eyes went straight to the ground.

"Ella sweetie. Did something happen?"

"No mom, I'm ok. Just wanted to hang out with you two. I won't bother you guys, I promise." Tears were bubbling in my eyes.

"Ok sweetie. Come on, let's find our seats." She smiled sweetly to me and I nearly died at the motherly affection that I rarely got from her. As much as my mom ignored me, if I was ever in real trouble I knew she would have my back.

My mom and dad had friends from work that came to sit next to them and they all started talking about the office. I pulled my phone out and had literally no one to talk to. Then I remembered Dylan. We were kind of friends.

I started twenty text and deleted every one. I had no idea how to start a conversation.

"You could just say I'm bored." Eros sat next to me and made me jump. Both my parents shot us a look.

"Sorry, he scared me."

"Just bringing hot chocolate." He held up two cups then handed one to me.

"Thanks." I smiled and slouched into my seat. This was weird. I really hope he wasn't planning on staying in that seat.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked after five minutes of the most uncomfortable silence of my life.

"No, of course not." I wanted to punch myself now. Why did I say that? Of course I wanted him to leave.

"Ella, please look at me."

"Eros, I keep saying it's fine. Can we please just forget everything that happened this week? I'm so embarrassed and I just..."

"It's ok. I just want things to be ok with us."

"They are." I looked ahead and realized that could mean we can resume what we were before. "I mean not like the last week ok. Like before the last week we are that kind of ok."

Of course Eros chuckled. "I get it, Ella. I'll be good and keep those boundaries closed from now on." I looked to my parents hoping they weren't listening. My mom looked so beautiful laughing on my dad's shoulder. Life can be so strange sometimes.

"Ok good. I don't want to open those boundaries again. Thank you for the hot chocolate." I turned looking him in the eye and saw the hurt in them.

"Friends then." He held out his hand, but I laughed.

"We were never friends, Eros."

He withdrew his hand looking ahead. Oh crap! That was a little mean. "I mean before you know, but yeah sure, we can be friends now." I put my hand out. He took my hand in his, holding a little too long, then let go sensing the confusion on my face.

We sat quietly until the show began and Eros didn't move an inch. "Uhm, are you staying?" I asked so awkwardly.

"Do you want me to leave?" He flashed me that gorgeous smile.

"No, of course not."

He leaned closer to me just as the music got louder to start the show. "You know you have a tell."

"A tell?"

"Yeah, whenever you say no, of course not everything before that was a lie."

"I do not do that." I giggled.

"Yes, you do." He chuckled.

We held each other eyes a moment and then the tree lit up nearly burning everyone's eyes. Once your sight adjusted it was gorgeous though. My eyes grew wide taken it all in. Little ballerinas and sugar plum princesses came out from behind the massive tree dancing around as mice fought with swords next to them. Every year the local dance studio put on a short rendition of the nutcracker. I loved watching all the children. They looked so happy on stage doing what they loved.

I caught Eros stealing a few glances at me, but I completely ignored him. I wasn't going to overthink what that meant. To the obsessed part of me, it meant that he was in love with me and couldn't keep his eyes away. He would say something corny like "this is the most beautiful sight here" and would be staring directly at me. I can't live in that fantasy world anymore. Eros was just a boy that wanted nothing but sex from this girl. It hurt and it sucked, but that was reality.

I also noticed when he wasn't looking at me he was glancing at his phone. His eyes never looked up to the stage.

"Hey!" I knocked his shoulder with mine.

"Yeah." He put his arm around the back of my chair leaning closer so we could hear each other. I wasn't overthinking that either.

"Why aren't you watching the show?"

"Seen it since I was born. Not much really changes."

"Yeah, but there are kids dressed as sugar plums. It's too cute not to see at least a little." I pouted to him.

He chuckled watching my eyes to my lips. God, I can not be friends with him. Everything he did I took as a sign he loved me. I needed professional help.

"You know, when I was little, I was one of the mice up there." He smiled like he was remembering it.

"No way! You wore tights." I teased.

"I did. My mom loved the theater and put me in dance class when I was four. I got all kinds of moves I'll never show anyone for as long as I live."

I couldn't help but laugh. Little Eros dancing on the stage in tights was something I needed to see.

"Can you do that twirl thing?" I bit my lip way too excited to know. Mr. Badass with his motorcycle and boxing could also do ballet.

"A pirouette and yes I can do that, or at least I could. Hung up the ballet shoes a long time ago."

"I need to see pictures."

"Never."

"What? And I thought we were friends now." I crossed my arms looking forward faking annoyance, but there was no wiping that smile off my face.

"Maybe one day." He whispered. We both fell silent watching the show. He kept his arm behind me and I could feel him at the back of my neck. Geez, it was just an arm to my neck and I was over here doing back flips inside.

As the show was closing Eros leaned close to me again. "I'm sorry how I acted today and I won't take advantage of you again, but I wouldn't want to ever forget the last week." He whispered and I stopped breathing. How the hell can I not interpret that as he loves me? He is killing my over romantic heart here.

Luckily he got up and left before I did something stupid. Too much Eros was a bad idea. I needed to limit the time we spent together from now on.

I looked behind me and he was with his sister and Chrissy. I looked down not letting it hurt. He said Chrissy was only there with his sister and I knew they were friends for a long time. It's how Eros met her. I knew way too much about his life. I was borderline stalker, but now we were friends so, its not so weird. Right?