22nd July 23:17 GMT -5

Oh! I wanted to ask you something." M'gann shifts around in her seat so that her legs are pointing at me, knees together, hands clasped in her lap. "When the fight with Bane started, were you singing something?"

"Yes. I'm a bit surprised you heard that."

"We were linked, so it just sort of came through. Was it some sort of battle song?"

"No. No, it's called 'Never Split the Party'. It's about a group of adventurers with different skill sets who can't handle a situation they get into because they split up."

"How does it go?"

Hmm. Still got some ring charge left… Why not? I get to my feet and walk to the open area of the room. A wave of my right hand creates medieval Dungeons and Dragons style versions of our team. Kaldur is arrayed as a melee fighter in full plate, with his upside down V emblazoned on his surcoat. Kon is dressed more in the barbarian style, stylish but impractical leather and fur which leaves his chest exposed. Robin as a thief just gets a hood and cape extension. Wallace the monk gets a keikogi with a lightning bolt on the back. M'gann and I get robes, hers with a heavy book strapped to the belt and mine with an Orange Lantern Corps sigil hanging around my neck.

Ring, lyrics please. "Ring, music please." I step to the side and take a breath.

"We were skulking through this dungeon - A pretty sorry lot."

The group 'walk' forwards, with the 'dungeon' scenery making it look like they're actually moving.

"And Kaldur'ahm the fighter had been actin' like a sot"

The Kaldur construct shoves past 'Kon' and 'myself' to the front of the group.

"Our cleric had colitis;"

'I' walk uncomfortably.

"Our torches all were wet"

'Robin' tries to light one and fails.

"But we had to find some treasure soon to get us out of debt...

So Kaldur'ahm and Conner were itchin' for a fight

They both took the left fork, while we went to the right"

Their constructs walk off down a passageway, while the rest of us remain centre stage.

"And that is when we heard it: the sound of rollin' dice"

I create a large piece of paper with the words 'Random Encounters' listed at the top, and some spinning dice constructs.

"We wondered why we had ignored those words of sage advice...

Don't You Know? You never split the party

Clerics in the back to keep those fighters hale and hearty"

At the rear of the group my construct brushes his sleeves up his arms and wiggles his fingers.

"The wizard in the middle, where she can shed some light"

Hard to do light when everything's orange, but I create a sort of ripple effect around her raised right hand.

"And you never let that damn thief out of sight..."

'Robin' cringes slightly as the others stare at him.

"So then we heard this bellow from back around the bend

We turned around to see if there was aid that we could lend"

The party about faces, the dice stop spinning, and the random encounters construct zooms in on 'Orcs, D6+3' for a moment before dissipating.

"And suddenly the corridor was covered up with Orcs"

The Orcs are shrunken versions of Baran Flinders, carrying wooden shields and sword/cleaver things.

"We fell back in a panic, feeling like a bunch of dorks..."

The party rushes through the rear Orcs and forms a line.

"The thief had pissed his leathers; the monk was turning blue"

I paint obvious fear onto the faces of 'Robin' and 'Wallace', then 'Robin' jumps into 'Wallace's arms in a forced bridal carry.

"Our wizard got all flustered and she covered us with goo"

'M'gann' gestures, waves, and I generate liquid coming from the 'ceiling' and coating all members of the group.

"The cleric swung his holy club some Orcish skulls to break"

My figure holds out a hand and generates a war hammer with a head the shape of a slightly flattened Orange sigil.

"We tried to dodge his backswing as we pondered our mistake..."

He pulls back to swing at the first Orc, the warhammer's shaft becoming ludicrously long as he does so, forcing 'M'gann' to duck and 'Wallace' to limbo under it. It's high enough that it goes over the Robin construct's head.

"Don't You Know? You never split the party

Clerics in the back to keep those fighters hale and hearty"

I let the fight progress. I remember hearing that Clerics make darn good melee fighters these days anyway. 'Wallace' gets himself together and makes martial art attacks against the Orcs while 'I' visibly feed energy to the others while continuing to swing the club.

"The wizard in the middle, where she can shed some light"

'M'gann' fires off some lightning into where the Orcs were forming a shield wall, killing a couple and breaking their formation.

"And you never let that damn thief out of sight..."

'Robin' sneaks, backstabs, and finishes the last one off with a thrown knife.

"We finally found our fighters; they were hacking at a Troll"

New scene, the Troll looks like Blockbuster. The larger part of the party enters stage left.

"They chopped off knees and elbows but it kept on growing whole"

'Kaldur' swings an oversized sword and 'Kon' an axe, cutting through the limbs only to watch Trollbuster heal them back.

"The wizard flung a fireball, her dice they did not fail"

'M'gann' holds her arms over her head and builds a large fireball, before flinging it forwards.

"She torched the troll and left the fighters roasting in their mail"

Trollbuster disappears, but 'Kaldur' and 'Kon' are visibly scorched.

"The cleric had his hands full; apologies were said"

'I' lay hands on the fighters and their visible injuries disappear.

"We swore an oath we'd stick together just like we were wed"

They gather in a circle, hands meeting in the centre. Robin is absent.

"But then we found that sneaky thief had vanished in the gloom

We caught him stuffing pockets in the secret treasure room..."

The room in question is the enlarged rear of a helicopter. The hatch collapses open and 'Robin' is shown holding two bags with dollar signs on the sides. He grins, nervously.

"Don't You Know? You never split the party

Clerics in the back to keep those fighters hale and hearty"

Cleric and fighters advance on the thief, who backs up a little.

"The wizard in the middle, where she can shed some light"

Wizard also steps forwards, electricity crackling around her hands. Thief makes a pleading gesture while still holding the looted bags.

"And you never let that damn thief ... no you never let that damn thief ... no you

Ne - ver let - that - damn - thief - out - of - sight!"

The helicopter's hatch closes just as they reach him, obscuring their retribution from the audience.

Real M'gann is covering her grin with her hands, but she isn't looking at me. What is she...?

Oh, showers are finished then. An amused Wallace is poking Robin, who seems a little disgruntled. Kaldur and Kon are smiling. I stretch my arms out to the side and take a bow to both parts of my audience in an attempt to brazen through my embarrassment.

I remove the helicopter construct.

"Let me go get something to eat. Chinese sound good?"

Feb 2, 2019